After a bit of a scolding from bluey () about leaving the alternate ending on a rather bitter ending I thought that I would give it a bit more work and hopefully put a more satisfying ending to this story. So here it goes. But unfortunately it still isn't all fluffy. I am sorry if anyone is looking for fluff, this is not the story for you. HOWEVER if you want understanding romantic loving Arthur than I suggest my other story "Love Struck". I started to write that one because I needed a balance to how crappy this story was making me feel. SO that's it. I hope this chapter helps satisfy some of the desires of the readers.
The Sword and the Shield Alternate (possibly temporary) Ending CONTINUTED!
"All these damn douche bags!" Merlin vented a loud.
He had been reading the many messages that had accumulated in his account from countless guys at least eighty pounds over weight and creepy or from self absorbed pricks that were looking to just for sex. The only reason why Merlin had an account was because in a moment of desperation he wanted to just see what was out there… and now he knows—douche bags. Merlin was frustrated enough that he clicked the little "x" in the corner of the screen closing the browser. He just sat there with his hand on the mouse and stared at his wallpaper desktop image of red, gold and black argyle diamonds. After a moment's time he realized he was still rather desperate for comfort any way he could find it so he open up Safari once again and went to the gay chat roulette site that he had been avoiding since he had met Arthur a year ago prior. Upon getting there he "x"ed out of any ads that showed up on his screen and then agreed to allow the site to you his camera and then turning off the 'send audio' and 'receive audio' check boxes he then clicked the 'start' button and waited for his first stranger to appear on the screen. The first man was hot but clicked 'next' after seeing Merlin.
'This is really good for your self-esteem Merlin. Letting yourself get repeatedly rejected by a number of strangers in the most efficient manner possible.' Merlin thought sarcastically.
After about fifteen minutes of this process Merlin was still feeling crappy but at least he was somewhat distracted by the whole experience.
[Merlin!]
Merlin looked but the camera feed from the stranger hadn't yet connected at his end so he couldn't see who was messaging him. …and then Arthur appeared.
Merlin was strongly tempted to his next and turn to alcohol as his next resort to numb the pain.
[Plz dont leave!]
Arthur wrote quickly and a concerned intense expression was upon his face.
Merlin was torn. He could never say no to that face, it had always been Arthur's greatest strength against Merlin's greatest weakness. Merlin was both frozen in desire and horrified with pain in his current situation. There was no escaping Arthur but Merlin needed to get away… all of his body was betraying him by not letting him click the 'next' button or power down the computer or even just walking away.
[plz tell me where you lice. I want to c u]
[^live]
Merlin wanted so badly to cry but everything was just too much. He couldn't move, he couldn't cry, he desperately wanted Arthur to love him, but at the same time hated the role that Arthur played in making him feel all this pain like this. He was conflicted it wasn't Arthur's fault really, Merlin was the one who fell in love, Arthur was just enjoying the company of Merlin and not taking things all too seriously.
Merlin finally mustered up enough strength and moved the curser to the 'next' button. He clicked it and Arthur was gone.
Merlin just sat staring down at his keyboard and watching the letters blur as the tears flowed down. He didn't even care that the new strangers were cycling threw in front of him on the screen. Actually Merlin hadn't remembered that that was going on. He was just emotionally raw and spent. He had nothing left in him but the energy it took for each sobbing breath to come in and go out of his body. He felt warm and light headed and weak enough to just collapse to the floor in sadness.
"Merlin!" Arthur's voice spoke over the computer speakers. Obviously the 'no receiving audio' feature is a crock seeing that sound was being sent through. "Merlin please, talk to me. Tell me your address. I need to speak to you, in person."
Merlin frowned tightly and the sobbing just kept coming and was very audible by now. His cheeks were hot and wet with his tears and Merlin was getting a sore throat from the lump that was there and from the angle at which his head was burying his chin into his chest.
"Merlin. I am so sorry for hurting you. Please I want to help. Please, please let me help now." Arthur continued to plead.
Merlin went to reach for the mouse to click the "x" button but missed and a random set of letters were sent to Arthur in a message.
"Merlin… Merlin I cant make sense of that. Is that part of your address."
Merlin had to look up at his screen to see what Arthur was talking about and in so doing he caught sight of that beautiful face again, bringing with it all the pain and loving desire once again.
"Merlin try not to type just tell me you street and number." Arthur was hoping to eek out the most helpful information he could first in case Merlin wouldn't be able to give him more specific information later.
Merlin just sat limp and shook his head side to side.
::Bark, bark::
Arthur could see Freya barking by the window in the background of the webcam's shot. Arthur at first thought nothing of it but then looking closer he could see a bright neon sign clearly in the window. It was fairly unique and Arthur recognized it immediately. He knew where Merlin's apartment was.
"Merlin, Merlin just hold on. I'm coming over. Don't go anywhere. Please. Merlin, please. Please don't go anywhere." Arthur thought to exit out of the conversation but instead decided to let the browser stay open. He had no other way to contact Merlin and he wasn't sure if he would need it later.
But it didn't matter in the end because the moment Arthur was no longer in the screen Merlin was freer to move about and he exited out of the program and shut his computer down. Merlin never shut his computer down ever… he would restart it at times but never shut it down. Merlin still felt terribly sad but more capable of movement got up and headed to his kitchen. He had nothing in mind to eat or drink but he just opened the cupboards and mindlessly scanned the contents of there interiors. After opening the fridge and then freezer and then cupboards once again he found nothing and turned around and stared at the coffee maker. He began filling the copper filter in the coffeemaker and then filled the reservoir with water and turned it on to begin brewing. Merlin didn't know why he did that. He didn't want any coffee. But something in him felt comforted by the ritual. It felt like something someone would do if they were in agony.
Freya was still barking and growling occationally seemingly at nothing outside of the window and Merlin thought he really should quiet her down so as not to anger the neighbors but there was something comforting in her bark as well. He didn't feel as alone while she was doing that. But all the same he felt pathetic that the only thing in the world that held any purpose right now was to hear Freya's barking. Merlin at times had considered suicide, but only considered it. There was no way he felt that what waited for him after death was in any way better than what his life was like now. So what would be the point. Once you die you are out of options. At least alive you can have at least the tiniest of bit of influence in the decisions of your life.
Merlin found himself on the sofa lying down and turned the tv on to a marathon of "What Not To Wear" on TLC. He was remotely entertained by the show. There was something about any show that featured before and afters that made Merlin feel a false sense of accomplishment. Like finally he got to witness something that was all messed up (like himself) and then with in the half hour show time he could see the problems were solved, ugly people became beautiful and all was right with the world. Somewhere along the line before Merlin had laid down he had taken a pint of ice-cream out of the freezer and spoon from the drawer. But he had yet to do anything with it other than set in on the coffee table on top of the latest issue of GQ magazine.
Merlin was in a strange state of half watching, half sleeping but not really… his face was hot and feverish and he just hated everything about life at that moment. The pillow below his face was very warm and damp from the little bit of sweat on Merlin head.
::knock, knock, knock:: "Merlin? Merlin!"
Merlin forgot that Arthur had threatened to come over but Merlin didn't want to see him so he stayed quiet waiting for Arthur to leave. But that wasn't on Freya's mind. She began to bark and scampered over to the door. Her barking getting louder and faster until Merlin felt he had no choice but to go over to her and quiet her down.
"Freya, shhh!" Merlin said firmly yet quietly and then reached and held on to Freya's collar to get her attention. Merlin calmed her down until the knocking came again.
::knock, knock:: "Merlin. Please I am begging you. Just… please."
Merlin knowing better that to even consider letting Arthur near him again so that he could be hurt once again, but some how his body was betraying him again. It was addicted to a drug and it had been in months of withdrawal. It needed Arthur.
The door opened a bit more than a crack and Freya worked open further to get out to greet/attack the man outside.
Arthur pushed his foot and hand in through the opening and slipped inside Merlin's apartment before he would have missed his chance.
Freya had followed back in and as if on its own accord the door was closed again with Arthur on the inside.
Arthur didn't say a word but after not even a second of being in Merlin's apartment he reached out and hugged Merlin close to his chest pressing their bodies together so hard that it was sure to leave bruises. Merlin felt the spasms of his sobbing, as his whole body was limp in Arthur's overly tight grasp. The two men just stood like that in Merlin's very tiny entryway for about fifteen minutes. Merlin just crying and Arthur just holding tight.
Arthur's arms must have begun to tire and ache too much from the embrace because he was now making small adjustments to how he held Merlin. At one point he finally turned his head and placed the side of Merlin head into the his face pressing his pursed lips against Merlin's very hot ear. Arthur could smell the moist sweat of Merlin's short hair and feel it against his face. It wasn't an exceedingly attractive feeling but at this moment there was nothing more in the world that Arthur wanted to feel. Every now and then Arthur moved his lips to make dry kisses against Merlin's head.
Merlin was beginning to exhaust from all the pent up emotion and crying and was both weak and limp but some how a tiny bit re-energized enough to finally adjust his face that had been buried into Arthur's soft cotton shirt. Merlin saw the huge wet mark that his tears had left and reached his hand up to his noes, which of course was dripping snot. 'Really attractive Merlin' he thought. But then he just couldn't care enough right now. He just readjusted his heads angle and leaned in again burying his face in a drier part of the shirt. But now Merlin was lifting up his arms and lightly laid them around Arthur's waist. Merlin began taking deep breaths as the crying seizure was ending and he was becoming more himself again.
"Merlin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have been hurting so badly for so long. And for anything I might have done to make it worse." Arthur spoke in to Merlin's ear.
Merlin felt another sobbing seizure beginning to start again but the previous one had dried up his tear ducts and Merlin just couldn't cry any longer even though his body really wanted to. After a moment more Merlin finally pulled himself away from Arthur and as he did the movement of the room's air moved over his shoulder and he felt the coolness of the large wet spot that Arthur had left on Merlin's shirt from his own tears. Merlin had never been more touched by someone's actions as he was Arthur's tears on Merlin's shoulder—they were worth more than anything he ever owned. Merlin finally began to look up from Arthur's chest to actually look into Arthur's face. And then it hit him… THAT FACE! That beautiful, beautiful face of Arthur was only inches from his own. That face that he loved so much, it was standing with him and was attached to the body of the man that he just held and cried with for over twenty minutes. Merlin then realized that Arthur's hands and arms were still around him and as Merlin moved he could feel the sweet marks that his hands had left in his clothes and on his skin. Merlin and Arthur had been really completely involved in something so close, so intimate and it made Merlin's heart swim. …and then it hit him again. Hard. Merlin pushed Arthur away. And took a few steps back. "What do you want from me?" Merlin half spoke and have choked saying.
Arthur was a bit taken aback and began to loose his balance as he almost tripped over Freya who had taken to lyig down right behind Arthur's feet. "Merlin. What's the matter? You wanted me to comfort you and that's what I'm doing. I'm here. For you."
Merlin knew that if he could he would be crying all over again. "No. No! you cant be here. You need to leave. You should have never have come."
Arthur terribly confused began to take a step towards Merlin only to watch Merlin take a step back. This continued until Merlin fell backwards onto the couch and Arthur took the opportunity to rush to Merlin's side and sit down with him.
"Merlin. Please tell me what I did. I want to help you."
"That's just it Arthur. That's all you want! Arthur, I don't want your help. I want you! But you aren't interested in me or your career is more important or you just don't want to be seen in a gay relationship… Arthur you need to leave. It hurts too much for you to be around me…"
Arthur just stared rather dumbfounded. All of what Merlin had said was right, well most of it. He really didn't want a public gay relationship. His friends and coworkers really weren't the type to accept gay men as normal and treat them the same as any other person, so Arthur had to make a choice early on either keep his bisexuality a secret and enjoy working in a career he loved or come out as bi which to everyone he knew would just get him labeled as 'gay' and essentially he would lose them all and probably never be able to do the job that he loved. So he chose the career. And Arthur wouldn't say he wasn't interested in Merlin. He cared for him and he thought Merlin's cheeks were cute and he liked the 5 o-clock shadow that Merlin always had and he remembered how he like Merlin's chest when they would Skype together… but Arthur wasn't sure that he wanted to be with Merlin the way Merlin wanted.
"Merlin. Look. We have to work something out. I thought cutting off ties with you would make things simpler for both of us and it would stop hurting you but obviously you are still getting hurt by me and I don't know what to do. The only thing I do know is that I can't stand to know that you're hurting and I want to do anything in my power to help you." Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes before continuing. "Yeah. I'm not ready to come out of the closet but that doesn't mean I don't really like you. I mean I just ran all over this neighborhood looking for the right building to have the view of that neon sign," Arthur pointed to the neon sign that could be seen through Merlin's window "just so that I could finally find you and try to care for you and then I spent almost a half an hour crying with you because you were so sad that it just broke my heart seeing you like this. Merlin this all has to count for something with you, doesn't it?" Arthur paused to think a little more before adding, "I don't know if I can be everything that want me to be but I would really like to try to be there for you where I can. Is there anyways that that will work for you?"
Merlin felt ashamed at Arthur's comments. Yes Arthur had shown a great deal of concern and even care by his actions tonight… but then the anger rose again. "I just don't understand why you don't love me, Arthur. The way I fell for you."
Arthur didn't know how to answer that question. "I just, don't I guess. I mean you're a likeable person. But Merlin I really don't know you very well. We only spoke online about four times last year and while they were very long conversations they were just… I don't know. It just didn't happen for me Merlin. I'm sorry that you really fell for me hard and I didn't do the same. But we both know that things just happen sometimes."
Merlin wasn't content. Bottom line Merlin still longed desperately for Arthur to want him the same way as Merlin wanted Arthur. "Then if you really do mean it. If you really do care for me. Could we just do one thing differently?"
Arthur sensing a little hope now, "whats that?"
Merlin looked down at his hands in his lap and at Arthur's hand laying in his own lap and then tried to swallow another big lump in his throat. "All I wanted a year ago was to talk with you more often. You left me hanging so many times that I went crazy waiting for you to be available to talk again. All I wanted Arthur was to talk to you and you weren't there." Merlin found more tears again and was choked up having a hard time talking. He tried to swallow the lumps and hold back the spasms of crying long enough to continue talking. "All I have wanted from you Arthur is to be allowed to be with you. To hang out with you but to be allowed to love you, even if you didn't really love me the same. But I wasn't allowed to do that. You just… just ignored me. Ignored my messages through Facebook and through Skype. ARTHUR THAT HURT SO BADLY! How can you do that to someone you supposedly think of as a friend. I needed you and you refused to be around even a little bit. No matter how hard things before they were only a hundred times worse when you just ignored me and let me suffer alone…"
"Merlin. I, I…"
"And I know that a lot of this is my fault. I know that I had no right to commit you to more of a relationship than you were willing to be apart of but… at the same time it really didn't seem like you didn't want to develop a relationship when were talking and… it was all so confusing." Merlin stopped talking for a moment to collect his thoughts, "Arthur it seems to me that you actually don't want a relationship with me and that you are only doing what you are doing here because I made you feel guilty and that you don't actually want to do these things yourself. I am not someone you really actually care about… and I guess that is okay. This whole thing I guess was my fault, I made it all up in my head."
Arthur didn't disagree too much with Merlin. He felt that was about right. He wasn't into Merlin like he maybe was expected to be in to him… but there was a little sneaking suspicion that it wasn't 100% accurate. "Merlin. Do you remember our first Skype conversation?" Arthur asked while reaching for one of Merlin's hands.
Merlin only nodded in agreement to Arthur's question.
"We talked for four and half hours. It was almost daylight when we hung up. We had so much fun talking back and forth to each other and neither one of us wanted to hang up… Merlin that is something real. I DO like you. I like you a lot if I am staying up that late at night. I loved how you argued with me to be proud of my tattoos and to not care what others think. Merlin you are passionate about things I don't even think to be passionate about and it… well it really intrigues me." Arthur looked down at their fingers intertwining with one another. "There are things about you that I really enjoy and if it weren't for my work schedule and then all those messages that you started sending me… Merlin I just, I didn't know what I wanted. I still don't really. But I absolutely hate the idea of losing you as a friend over all this. I guess you do mean something to me even if I don't know what it all means." Arthur smirked a little and then blushed a little "besides we both said we have never cummed so much as when we jacked off together. It was a lot!"
Merlin let out a small laugh and smiled a little.
Arthur seeing Merlin beginning to show signs of happiness felt his heart lighten. And without thinking about it he leaned in and gave Merlin a chaste kiss on his lips. The kiss lasted for about ten seconds but it seemed like forever and then when they pulled apart Merlin and Arthur both blushed. They sat in silence not looking at each other.
"Merlin I don't know what this is. I am more confused than anything, but there are some things about you that I guess I do really like and …" Arthur leaned in and kissed Merlin again only this time pressed his tongue into the kiss making Merlin give out a small moan. Arthur pulled his hand out from Merlin's and placed it on the back of Merlin's head and neck and slightly pressed their kiss tighter together. They then pressed their foreheads together and breathed into each other's faces.
"Arthur… please let me just say this. I love you. So much and that has made this all hurt so bad. Please, I beg you, don't hurt me anymore. I just can't take it anymore. I know that you don't love me back but… Arg! This is so complicated. I just wish, wish you would just decide to say 'fuck it' to other people's opinions about your life and just be with who ever you wanted. Arthur I want to feel like I am at least that important to you." Merlin pulled his head away from Arthur's and felt that all too powerful and familiar desire for Arthur that he had been wrestling for a year now.
"Merlin. Could you be gentle with me. Just be patient. I really haven't even begun to figure out my whole life yet and I really don't want to have to decide everything right now. But I do know that I want to be here, with you, now. Can we just be good in this moment?"
Merlin still unsatisfied but realizing that that is the way this whole horrible and intense experience had been like from the beginning. Before Merlin could answer he was being pressed backwards onto the couch and Arthur was following him with a passionate kiss being pressed to Merlin's lips.
The two men did their best to distract one another from the intense emotions of the last hour and did their best to get acquainted with each other's mouths, chins and necks. Letting out light moans and heavy breathes. They never went further than making out and pressing their bodies together but it was a first step. Merlin felt still a bit saddened at Arthur's unwillingness to chose to love Merlin without regard to what other thought. He tried his best to rummage up the tiniest bits of hope that he had left and place them in the hope that maybe Arthur would begin to warm up to him more, eventually begin to fall for Merlin and then when having to reassess his priorities maybe then he would choose Merlin over his judgmental friends.
Merlin finally broke off their kissing and pushed Arthur away only slightly. "Arthur, I love you more than you can possibly know, but if this is to continue I need you to promise me. Promise me that you will make time for me, that we will talk at least twice a week and that we would not go more than a week with out seeing one another… Arthur you may not be ready to step out of the closet but I need you to at least think of me as your boyfriend anyways. I couldn't handle you dating some girl or flirting with someone if this is the type of thing that we do together." Merlin looked into Arthur's face.
He was obviously calculating thoughts in his head. Then Arthur brought Merlin's hand to his lips kissed the fingers lightly and said "I promise."
Merlin's heart nearly lept out of his chest at those two words. But regaining his composure he looked into Arthur's eyes and then asked more directly, "do you really?"
Arthur let a little smirk grow on his face "Merlin, I can't be out yet but I can be with you. If you think you can be okay with not doing any kind of public displays of affection and acting all straight in public then I can be here for you in what ever way you need me." Arthur paused and then looked at Merlin's hand in his "I'm sorry, for making this so complicated for you."
Merlin reached up to Arthur's face and pulled it in for another kiss, which Arthur gladly deepened and then rocking Merlin's body from side to side Arthur worked his arms under Merlin's waist and hugged him tightly to his to himself.
The rest of the evening was spent with the two men holding one another and enjoying the other's presence. Eventually they adjusted to a more comfortable arrangement, which happened to be on the floor where they weren't putting Arthur's arms to sleep. And they were able to move around more freely.
As the sun began to rise in the sky its rays creeped over the building across the street and in through Merlin's window inching closer and closer up Merlin's face. Freya saw Merlin begin to stir and stood up and began licking Merlin's face and then moved over to Arthur and began licking his as well. The two men had fallen asleep holding hands and Arthur had at one point been leaning his face into Merlin's shoulder as they slept.
"Okay, okay. I'm awake, I 'm awake!' Arthur finally said to Freya.
"Sorry. She must need to go out." Merlin said as he started getting up of the hard floor and realized that he was going to have a stiff muscle day.
"Yeah. I need to go let Gwen out too." Arthur said and then thought about his promise to Merlin. "Breakfast?"
"What? Merlin asked."
"Why don't we walk Freya over to my place, I'll let Gwen out. We can put the dogs together in my apartment and I can take you out for Breakfast."
Merlin blushed at the idea. It sounded just perfect. "Um, one question."
"yeah?"
"Before we go out in to public can I give you a kiss again." Merlin said blushing more.
Arthur got up of the floor and walked over to Merlin and laid a tender sweet light kiss to Merlin's lips. Then he deepened it just a little to make it a little more passionate. "Is that good?"
Merlin was weak in the knees and breathless. "yeah." He said in almost a whisper and then fell against the wall that was just behind him allowing himself to catch his breath. "God. The things you do to me! Arthur. I literally… just driven wild!"
Arthur just smiled and laughed a little. He liked this power he had over Merlin, but suspected that it might be why their relationship was so hard on Merlin. The man was obviously intoxicated with Arthur with just a small kiss.
Merlin and Arthur both took turns in the bathroom relieving the pressure in that was pushing on their bladders and washing their faces they snapped the leash on to Freya and headed out to Arthur's place.
The sun was warming and nice and Merlin so badly wanted to reach out and hold Arthur's hand and lay his head into Arthur's shoulder but did everything he could to resist.
Arthur felt the desire that Merlin had and finally after after walking about two blocks pushed Merlin in between two buildings and hugged him tight and placed a chaste kiss to Merlin's lips. "Wow, Merlin this is going to be hard. You can't even walk the distance between your place and mine with out basically wanting to jump me! …I kinda like it." Arthur said with a smile and placed another kiss on Merlin's lips, this one being a bit deeper and loving."
"God I love you Arthur. Thank you. I am trying but you are near impossible to resist."
"I guess, so."
Arthur placed his key in his front door and unlocked it and was immediately greated by Gwen. "Hey girl! Did you have a good night?"
Merlin looked up and saw a shirtless thin but toned man eating cereal standing in the kitchen watching them. "Hello."
Arthur looked up "Ah, Merlin this is Lance, Lance, Merlin"
"Hello."
"Hey" Lance said with a mouthful of cereal.
Arthur left Merlin by the front door and quickly walked to his bedroom towards the back and closed the door behind him again. Then shortly returned not looking any different. "Okay girl, you wanna go out?"
Gwen jumped as Arthur reached for the leash that hung on a hook by the door.
"Um, let me go back out and hold on to Freya before Gwen comes out." Merlin said.
"Good idea." And after waiting a moment Arthur followed Merlin outside with Gwen.
The two dogs at first simply sniffed one another and every once in a while they were snip at each other working out who would be dominate.
"Um, I'm not too sure that Freya will behave around Gwen just yet. Maybe we should take them for a walk together to get them more comfortable with each other."
"Sure. Hey if we go to the corner diner they have outside tables and we can tie the dogs up outside while we go in and order. Does that sound okay?"
"Yeah. Sounds perfect."
After they were walking for a little bit Merlin wanted to ask Arthur some questions but felt awkward after all of the changes and conversations last night, and this mornig. He looked at Arthur a little oddly.
"what?" Arthur asked.
"Uh, it's nothing."
"Yeah? Doesn't sound like nothing."
"its just… feel free to interrupt if you aren't comfortable talking about this outside, but… do you feel any physical needs towards me? Or am I the only one constantly in in a melt down level of sexual frustration when we are together?"
Arthur laughed a little showing that smile, Oh the gorgeous knee=weakening smile.
"Um, well. I like kissing and… other things, but I am doing pretty fine right now."
"Oh. Well we might need to take shorter walks then in the future because right now I just am more interested in eating you for breakfast." Merlin said with only a slight blush.
Arthur smiled only making Merlin's situation even more difficult.
"Arthur one thing that you need to know if you want me to resist any public displays of affection. You have to know that when you smile I get so turned on that I just cant handle it."
"so I can't smile… anything else I can't do?"
"Um, well your eyes kinds drive me wild too."
"So sunglasses, got it. Anything else?"
"Your tats. They get me hard."
Arthur was trying hard to resist the urge to smile at how ridiculous this was becoming but at the same time kind of liked knowing that we was a walking aphrodisiac. "So no smiling, sunglasses and long sleeve shirts. Do I dare ask if there is more?"
Merlin had a halted look and didn't say anything.
"Okay. What else could there possibly be left?"
Merlin spoke a bit sheepishly, "Your voice."
Arthur only rolled his eyes, trying not to smile or let Merlin see his eyes and pulled his arms up into his t-shirt.
"There you go. That's much better. See, now you know how much effort it takes for me every moment we are together." But Merlin was lying, he still wanted Arthur bad. Wanted to find an alley, rip off all Arthur's clothes and just ravish the boy.
Arthur finally broke his silence "Okay then we need to reach a compromise. I will wear sunglasses and long sleeve around you as often as I can and try not smile as much but you are just going to have to control yourself with my voice."
Merlin thought about it "I got another idea. How about before we hang out we ravish one another with an hour or two of sex and then maybe I won't need you to do anything." Merlin said with a naughty smirk on his face.
"You are going to be a high maintenance relationship I can just feel it."
Just about that time they reached the corner diner and tied Gwen and Freya to the tree that was in the middle of the sidewalk. The two dogs seemed undisturbed by the other's presence which is a great thing when it comes to dogs meeting for the first time.
Arthur and Merlin entered the corner diner and sat at the counter looking at the menus. After looking them over they both selected their meals and told the waitress that they would be at a table outside with their dogs.
After a while the were eating their eggs and bacon and toast and just enjoying the warm morning sun.
Merlin finally broke the comfortable silence. "Thank you Arthur… for last night. I have needed that from you for months. And it felt like you brought me back from the brink of hell."
Arthur smiled and then realized that he had made himself blush. "Merlin, I don't know what this relationship is yet but since our time last night I think I have learned a lot about what I might want." Arthur stopped talking making Merlin wait with baited breath.
"And!..."
"Oh, I can't answer that in public. Remember our rules?" Arthur said with a naughtily smile and then flexed his eyebrows up and down.
Merlin nearly choked on his orange juice and Freya and Gwen just stared at Merlin with their heads cocked to the side.
"Oh Arthur the things you do to me! Please don't toy with me I really, really can't handle it."
Arthur looked down at the last bit of his eggs that he was pretending to be very interested in. "Who's toying?"
Merlin sat with his mouth open. "I'm done. Are you finished with your breakfast?"
Arthur smiled and nodded knowing exactly what it would do to Merlin.
"Here watch Freya I'll go pay the bill." And Merlin bolted to the door of the diner to find their waitress.
Within moments Merlin was back grabbed Freya's leash and freed it from the tree and was waiting on Arthur.
"You in some sort of hurry Merlin?"
"Listen I have wanted to do this with you for a year now. I am done waiting. Let's go now!" Merlin thought for a minute. "Do you have to work today?"
"Yeah, why? You might have to call in sick." Merlin smirked over to Arthur.
"You think so huh? We'll see. I don't need to be in until eleven so I have abot three hours still. If we were to go at it much longer than that neither of us would be able to walk for a week!" Arthur winked a Merlin.
Merlin took a mental note: 'winking. Winking is another thing he can't do in public.'
The two walked back to Merlin's place and surprisingly Gwen and Freya were completely happy in the apartment together. Not that Arthur or Merlin took notice. From the moment that they entered the privacy of the apartment clothes were flying, kisses were landing and hands were rubbing EVERYTHING.
Ninety minutes later Merlin and Arthur had both developed a bit of a crazy limp. But Merlin felt like he had gained a strong sense of self-control around Arthur. Now when Arthur smiled Merlin only wanted to kiss Arthur until his lips were swollen to the size of rolls of quarters instead of simply wanting plow into the man till his eyes rolled back in pleasure.