Two weeks had passed since that full moon and Remus was now making his way to the library. The others had tried to convince him the other day that they should all leave the Shack during future full moons. He didn't know how they could possibly think that that was a good idea, the safety issues alone... So he had immediately told them that it wouldn't be happening, but he was sure that they would keep trying to persuade him as they had when they had first decided to become Animagi. But in that case, they were only putting themselves at risk and he could make sure that they were ready first. With this, it would be completely out of his control, out of all of their control, and there was no telling of what could go wrong or who could be hurt. It was just too risky, they would have to make do with staying inside.
Remus was still a little annoyed and angry with them for suggesting it so he hadn't told them where he was going. Earlier in the week, after one of their Ancient Runes lessons, Snape had asked him if he wanted to meet to revise the subject as he was having a little trouble with it. Remus had been glad of the offer, he usually found it helpful to revise with someone else, if only to get a different view or way of understanding the topic, but as none of his friends studied Ancient Runes he had been forced to do it alone. A few of the girls in Gryffindor were in his class as well, but he hardly knew them at all and wouldn't be able to ask for their help or time. At least Snape actually wanted to revise unlike James and Sirius who still hadn't even started to do so.
The library was much busier than when they had been working on their Potions project, but Remus was still able to find Snape quickly, sitting at one of the desks near the Restricted Section, away from the entrance. They had agreed to meet in here as it would be easier to find one another and they would be less likely to be disturbed here than if they had met somewhere else, such as outside or in an empty classroom. Here, everyone was now only concerned about their own work and exams and they knew that Madam Pince did not tolerate disruptive behaviour, especially while everyone was revising before the exams so there wouldn't be anyone there who would even notice they were working together, let alone gossip about it which neither of them wanted. This was only about passing their exams.
"Sorry I'm late, I was caught up in something and didn't realise the time." Remus apologised as he took a seat at the desk. It wasn't just an excuse, James and Sirius had been doing some more work on the map and, although they had said that it would be finished soon as they had almost worked out why the moving dots weren't also displaying the names of the people they represented and fixed the problem, he had been trying to get them to stop working on it and finally start revising. The exams were just over a month away now and they still hadn't begun to take them seriously enough. The map could always wait until next year, there was no real rush to get it done now, but if they left their revision for that long, they wouldn't get into their NEWT classes and they would regret it then. Remus just didn't know what else he could do to convince them.
"That's alright, I had some work to do anyway." Snape replied and even after having spent hours working together, Remus was always still a little surprised by how reasonable he was being, especially given their history. "Shall we get started?"
Remus nodded and removed the notes and books he had brought with him from his bag. "I brought my notes from the last two years as well, in case we need them." Then, feeling that it would be best to start with what they weren't as confident with rather than go through everything chronologically, he asked, "What were you having trouble with earlier?"
Snape flipped through the pages of his textbook until he found the correct page then turned it around to show the Gryffindor. "I don't understand what this passage here means," he said, pointing it out, "I've looked through my notes and the rest of the chapter but it's not explained any differently there either."
Remus read through the page, this had also been problematic for him earlier in the year but he had gone to ask the Professor to explain it at the time, assuming that he had missed this in one of the lessons he had been absent from because of the full moon. However, he had been told that the textbook had been written when everyone had had to study Ancient Runes before OWL level and had not been updated since the subject had become optional at higher level and therefore assumed they already knew some things that they hadn't learnt yet. Professor Sanner had said that he had tried to remember to cover these points in more detail in class but had forgotten on this occasion. Once explained, it seemed it was simply talking about the order the Runes needed to be in if more than one were being used at one time in order to be the most effective, something they hadn't yet studied.
Remus had assumed that Sanner would go over it with the whole class soon after that and when that didn't happen he had just thought that it would be covered at some point before the exams but he had soon forgotten all about it. Compared to what else had been happening at the time, the intricacies of Ancient Runes didn't seem at all important. He started to explain it as well as he could but, in doing so, found that he couldn't remember it at all well. He would need to revise this too and they might as well both do it now, maybe going through it with someone else would help him to remember it later.
"I can't remember what the order is," Remus continued after he had explained that that was what the passage referred to, "I wrote it down somewhere in my notes, let me just try and find it." As Remus quickly searched through his notes, he tried to remember what else they had been studying around that time. But, try as he might, he just couldn't remember. He knew that it had been around the beginning of this year so it had to be about two-thirds of the way through his notes. Going directly to this point he soon found what he needed.
"'When using multiple Runes, write the offensive ones first from strongest to weakest, then the defensive from weakest to strongest. For example, tiwaz for victory in combat, uruz for strength then kaunan for illumination and thurisaz for protection.'" Remus read aloud from his notes, moving the page so that they could both see it. There were a few more examples here and after reading them through Remus looked back at the textbook, it made a lot more sense now. He thought it likely that no-one else had asked Sannen about this and he had simply forgotten about it. It wasn't even that difficult, just one of those little details you simply had to learn, which there were quite a lot of in Ancient Runes.
When he had finally worked up the courage to ask Lupin for help after one of their classes last week, Severus had been grateful that Lupin had accepted his offer to study together instead of laughing in his face and proceeding to tell the whole school just how pathetic he was. But Lupin just wasn't like that, the others, well Black and Potter anyway, were but Lupin had seemed pleased about the arrangement as well. Lily was probably right and he had no-one else to study with either but it had still gone quite well considering.
He read through the notes Lupin had brought with him and was pleased that the topic finally made sense. After all that, it had been pretty straightforward in the end, probably too basic for the book to go over as it had apparently been written years before when everyone had already learnt the basics before they got to this point. Maybe they should have found some first and second year textbooks from then but it was too late for that now though if they had any more problems there would probably be some of them in here for them to find and use.
For the next couple of hours they went over a few of the other topics that they were both having trouble with, making progress when they both worked at it together. After they had finished with most of these, they started going over the entire course chronologically, getting through the first few months of what they had done in third year before it started to get late and they would have to leave for dinner or else miss it entirely.
It had been a very productive session and Severus was sure that they had covered more material than he could have done alone, and they still had over two years of work to get through in just over a month. "We still have all the rest to go through." He said, indicating the pile of textbooks and notes on the desk. "Do you want to do this again?" Given how much easier the work had been to understand today, they would probably get through the rest of the course in good time for the exams if they repeated this session.
Lupin seemed a bit shocked by this, probably thought that that was it once they had gone through that problematic section, but he didn't look unhappy about being asked. "Alright. The same time next week then?"
"Fine. You do Arithmancy too, don't you?" When Lily had been trying to convince him to study with Lupin, she had mentioned that he did Arithmancy as well and after he had agreed to it she had suggested that if it went well the three of them should study the subject together as well. Given how much they had done today it seemed to be a sensible idea.
Lupin seemed confused for a moment, "How did you... oh, never mind." He started to ask then, obviously realising, stopped. "Did you want to revise that as well? I didn't know that you did Arithmancy."
"If that's alright with you." Severus had Arithmancy with the Hufflepuffs and none of them would be any help here. Although his marks in class were generally high, he would need to be able to do well on the day of the exam to get into the NEWT class and he needed a good NEWT grade at the end of it to be able to get the best jobs available to him. Even though he had already started his revision, there were still some topics that he was a little unsure on or had simply not had time to get to yet and had mostly forgotten. "Lily would probably be joining us for that."
"Yes, that would be good. I don't have anyone to revise that with either. Will that be at the same time?" Lupin replied.
"I'll have to ask her, but probably. We can fit in whatever we need to do for either subject then." Severus didn't know if Lily would be free then but at this time of the year there couldn't be much else occupying her time. "I'll let you know if it's at a different time when I know."
By that point they were ready to leave so they made their way to the exit and headed towards the Hall. Usually at this time, the library would be virtually empty but now there were plenty of students still there, having probably left their revision too late and now trying to make up for it.
"Are you going to continue Ancient Runes next year?" Lupin asked just after they had passed through the doors out of the library. "I forgot to ask earlier."
"No, I needed to do other subjects more than this one." Severus answered, somewhat surprised that Lupin was in the least bit interested. "What about you?"
Lupin shook his head, "It's too specialised and not that many things actually require it, so no."
As they made their way through the castle, they discussed which subjects they were doing next year and found out that they were doing five of the same subjects. The only difference was that Lupin would be doing Muggle Studies while Severus would be studying Herbology instead. Lupin's subjects didn't appear to be aimed at any particular career so Severus assumed that he was trying to keep his options open, which was probably the best option now that he thought about it given what he had learnt while doing all that research last year.
They separated before they reached the entrance hall, there were lots of people here, going in and out of the Great Hall and they didn't really want to be seen together by anyone yet as everyone would probably assume there was more to it than there actually was. It was just about passing the exams, Severus told himself, nothing else. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to it now.
Remus made his way over to the Gryffindor table where the others already sat. Although they had been able to work together at the beginning of the year, he was still surprised at how well their study session today had gone. Aside from getting through a lot of the course material, it now seemed like what had happened last October never had and, more than that, it was like all the animosity between them all was never there in the first place. That was only when the others weren't there, but even when they were, it wasn't quite as bad as it had used to be – they had apparently listened to him but not agreed with him entirely.
Despite their original awkwardness and reluctance to work together, it was now no different to when Remus would have to work with any other student from another House in one of his classes like last year in Divination when he and a Ravenclaw had been put together for a few months when taking each other's readings. But no, now that he thought about it, there was a difference. After everything that had happened between them lately and with being forced to spend time together, there now seemed to be a sort of understanding between them. It was probably because Snape knew now and he didn't have to constantly be making up excuses or worrying about what would happen if he worked it out. It was... comfortable.
"Where were you all afternoon?" Sirius asked when Remus sat down with them, trying to keep his voice light and casual but still sounding slightly accusatory.
"Just in the library, revising. There's too many people in the Common Room, I couldn't concentrate." Remus replied while the others looked as if he could have told them that earlier without just disappearing. He didn't want to tell them that he hadn't been there alone yet. He didn't know exactly how they'd react but he knew it wouldn't be pleasant, being forced to work together by their Professor had been one thing but in this case they had both chosen to be there and he knew they wouldn't be happy about it. He sometimes wondered how Lily and Snape could still be friends amid all this rivalry and animosity between the two Houses and he did admire them for it. He supposed that it was because they had known each other before coming to Hogwarts so didn't base judgements of each other on their House alone as many students here did. Perhaps that was all that had ever caused the hostility between them all rather than any truly justifiable reason.
The week after the revision session quickly passed and it was soon time for the next one. They had agreed to meet in the library again so Lily made her way over there a few minutes before she was supposed to get there. She had looked around the Common Room before she left but hadn't seen Remus there, though the other three were, so assumed that he had left before her. She knew that they would both be studying Ancient Runes first without her before they all began on Arithmancy so she had brought some of her Astronomy notes to look over as well while she was waiting as neither of them did that subject. She would also need to make use of the practical revision sessions made available this month when the class would have free use of the telescopes if they wished, under supervision from their Professor, but she had started her revision months ago and therefore was quite confident about most of the exams. Still, a little more revision now couldn't hurt.
On the way there she ran into Severus so they made their way to the library together. When they got there, Severus led her to a table near the back of the library where Remus already sat, organising all the Ancient Runes notes and books he had brought with him as well as some that looked to be borrowed from here in case they ran into trouble again, presumably where they had worked last week. It was quite out of the way probably so that they wouldn't really be noticed or disturbed by anyone in here, not that many of them would even care, they were focusing on only themselves, but they still didn't want to attract any more attention than was necessary. Last weekend Lily had overheard Remus tell his friends that he had been studying alone so he obviously didn't want them to find out from anyone else. He probably wouldn't even tell them himself unless he had to, Lily thought, they both knew that they would overreact if they found out about this. They were infuriating, especially Potter. How did he expect to ever have a chance with her when he kept acting this way? He should just give up now and leave them both alone, hopefully Remus would help to convince him if these sessions went on.
She and Severus sat down at the desk with Remus, Severus next to him so that they could work easily from the same resources and her opposite them, getting out her notes to work from. After they had all greeted each other and exchanged the usual pleasantries, they all got down to work.
Lily began by trying to concentrate on her own work and get through as much as she could as there was only a month until the exams, after all. But she kept being distracted by the other two. Not because they were discussing the material, which they were, or because they were making too much noise, but because of the way they were behaving around each other. Gone was the attitude they had had when she had last seen them work together, months ago, of just getting through the work as quickly as possible to minimise the time they would have to spend together. Now, it was more like they were actually getting on with each other and they had both actually decided to be here so there was no resentment at being forced together as she supposed there must have been in the beginning. It seemed that more than just studying together, which they didn't actually need to do any more as the issue had been resolved, they were enjoying working together on this.
Even though she had suggested this, Lily was still surprised at how well this was going. She had expected for them to just meet once, go through the problem and leave, maybe after a little more studying, but no more than that. Last weekend, when Severus had asked her if she wanted to study with them both, she had been surprised that they had made a regular thing of it. But she was also pleased that, even after everything that had happened between them, they wanted to spend more time together. Usually she would have to study Arithmancy by herself or with only Severus as none of her friends in Gryffindor did it and, although she did enjoy studying with him, she did also want to spend time with other people too.
She also thought it would help them to start seeing people as themselves rather than just as members of their Houses and succumbing to the common antagonism between Gryffindor and Slytherin in particular. She knew that Severus already did that with her, but that was because they had already known each other before they were Sorted, but the same didn't apply for the rest of her House. She could tell that the two of them were making progress on that with each other and hopefully, given time, that would include the other students too.
She had also noticed that over the past couple of months Potter and Black had toned down their attacks on Severus, now only using verbal insults, if anything, when they would have resorted to violence in the past. Lily wondered if this was because they knew that Severus knew about Remus and therefore didn't want to push him so far that Remus would be at risk or because Remus had asked them to do so. Maybe it was both, but given how reluctant he had been to even tell them that they had been studying together, she thought it unlikely that this would be the case. Perhaps they were just finally growing up after all.
An hour or so had now passed since they had all arrived and they all seemed to have made good progress with their revision, but they still hadn't moved onto Arithmancy yet and if they do so didn't soon they wouldn't get much done at all.
"How are you getting on?" Lily asked the others, slightly impatient now. She had known that they would be revising Ancient Runes first without her but she had expected to have moved onto Arithmancy by now, she had almost finished going through the notes she had brought with her on Astronomy. She supposed that she could always find a book in here to revise from but she would prefer to move on.
She saw the other two exchange a look, probably thinking that they should finish soon. Remus quickly flipped a few pages of the textbook they were using to see how much they had to get through. "We only have two more pages of this section to get through, then we can start on Arithmancy if you want. It should only be a few minutes."
"Alright." Lily replied. Even if, after this year, everything went back to the way it had always been between Severus and the Marauders at least they would both do well on their exams. She didn't believe that that would happen but at least they would get that out of these study sessions, hopefully they would get along better as well. She could tell they had already made a lot of progress on that point so she didn't think that that would be all. The hostility between them had disappeared when they had had to work together on potions at the beginning of the year, but it was more than that now, they seemed to both enjoy working together. Lily couldn't help but hear their conversation and although they had started by only discussing the subject, they soon began to talk about other things, as friends would though she didn't think it was at that stage yet.
While they were finishing the chapter they were working on, Lily got out her Arithmancy notes and textbook and found the section she wanted to work on first, reading through it while she waited for them. After a few minutes, the others did the same and they started to get on with the topic she had chosen out. It felt like they only doing what she chose to make up for the fact that they had kept her waiting, but the important thing to her was that they got through it.
At first, Remus had been a bit uneasy about studying with Lily as well, he didn't really know her besides James' infatuation and their classes together and thought that he might feel left out with both of them there as they were such good friends. But, if anything, he and Snape seemed to be leaving her out. It wasn't really their fault, she didn't do the subject, but still when she asked, he had felt obliged to move on to Arithmancy, they didn't have that much left to do on Ancient Runes anyway. They first started by going through any topic which they were having trouble with and after that, had taken turns asking the other two random questions on the whole subject, seeing who could answer either the quickest or with the most correct answer. At first this had seemed a bit daunting as the others were very good, but then Remus realised that it was actually a fun way to revise what could sometimes be a boring subject. The competitiveness of it kept them all interested and they did get through a lot of material this way. It was also helpful in identifying their weak spots too, if anyone either couldn't answer a question or didn't understand the answer someone else gave, they would go through that topic together until they could all do it.
He did enjoy spending time with the two of them. Perhaps as much as with James, Peter and Sirius, but it was different. He wouldn't be able to do this with the others, he would have a hard enough time getting them to start their revision in the first place and it would be nearly impossible to convince them to spend their weekends on it. And even if they did spend the time on it, the three of them would have to keep helping Peter out. Remus didn't blame him, it wasn't his fault but it was still nice to work with people on the same level as himself. It was different working with Lily and Severus, they could all just get on with the work and not have to worry about leaving anyone else behind. It made a change to be able to work with others who had shared academic interests as they were all doing mostly the same subjects for their NEWTs. It wasn't that he preferred them to being part of the Marauders, he felt that he needed them both, he wanted both.
It was almost time for them to all leave for the day so they all began to pack their things away. Lily had enjoyed their session this afternoon and wanted to do it again, but she remembered that Remus and Severus had been meeting each Saturday and, as next Saturday would be the day after the full moon, she didn't know if Remus would be up to it. She couldn't think of another reason why she would want to meet on a different day without revealing that she knew, which she didn't want to do yet. She'd let them sort it out. "When are we meeting again?" she asked. "And do you still need to do more on Ancient Runes or can we just focus on Arithmancy next time?"
"Well, we've done most of what we needed to do for Ancient Runes so we can just do Arithmancy next time, right?" Remus replied, looking over at Severus for confirmation. Lily noticed that Remus looked a bit nervous when she asked when she asked about their next session, he of course knew what next Friday was and was probably now thinking of an excuse to change the day that she wouldn't question. This almost made her want to tell them that she already knew, but she held back for now, the time wasn't right. It was just before the exams and none of them needed any more stress right now.
Severus nodded in agreement that they could just do the one subject next week, then to her surprise, solved the problem. "Can we do this on Sunday instead? Slughorn wants to see me on Saturday about my careers interview. Something about trying to sort out which placement I want in good time as there aren't many available."
Lily was so relieved that the issue had been resolved that she didn't question him about this even though he hadn't told her about this before. She noticed Remus relax again as she agreed to this and regretted that it had to be this way. Although Lily doubted that Severus was telling the truth about Slughorn, he was. Well, mostly. They weren't supposed to meet until after the exams as the Professor didn't want to get in the way of his revision, but he thought she would believe this excuse as it was partially true.
From the way that Remus reacted to this, seeming grateful and relieved rather than surprised or as if he was lucky to avoid an explanation himself, Lily realised that Remus knew that Severus knew about him. This changes things, she hadn't expected this at all. She had thought that Severus had worked it out as she had, by putting together all the information available and coming up with the only logical conclusion. But she didn't believe that if that was the case Severus would just tell Remus that he knew, he had found out months ago, long before they had ever had to work together in Potions so he would have had no reason to do so. And even now, when they were starting to get on, she didn't think he would admit to knowing for much the same reasons that she hadn't. Maybe sometime in the future but not now. All of that seemed to suggest that Remus had been there when he had found out or had discovered this some other way. Maybe it had something to do with the Marauders falling out last year, it had happened at around the same time. But what could have possibly happened?
Whatever it was, she supposed it didn't really matter now, they had all made up and now these two were actually getting along well. But from this she could tell that Severus was trying to make it easier for Remus without anyone else finding out. He actually cared about Remus and even seemed to want to be friends with him which may well turn out to be problematic given who else Remus was friends with but if you ignored them it seemed to be a good idea. She could tell that there definitely wasn't any dislike still between them any more and they both seemed to enjoy spending time together now. Perhaps she would talk to Severus about it later but for now they all had to leave. It would have to wait.
The next Sunday, Remus made his way to the library as they had arranged. He was grateful that he hadn't had to make an excuse as to why he couldn't go yesterday, he didn't want to make Lily suspicious. He was sure that she was clever enough to work it out if she did and he didn't want anyone else to find out. Too many people had already.
In fact, he probably could have made it yesterday as the only real problem he had had was the tiredness, but after having slept for most of the morning and early afternoon he would have been ready to leave by the time they normally met if he had had to. Still, he was glad to be able to spend the rest of the day with the other Marauders as they had had to tell him what had happened the night before as he still barely remembered anything. That night had been the first time that they had left the Shrieking Shack.
The others had been trying to convince him to let them do this for almost a month and, after ignoring their requests at first, he had allowed them to do it but only on the condition that they all learn a series of spells that they could use to stop him if they needed to. Once he had told them this, they had spent practically all their free time practising, knowing that he was serious about what he had said. Remus would have felt bad about leaving them less time for revision but he knew that they wouldn't have done any anyway. It was only in the middle of last week that he had been satisfied that they could all do it if they needed to. After that, he had made them all promise not to hesitate if they were in a situation where he needed to be stopped as soon as possible. He didn't want anyone to get hurt because they didn't want to hurt their friend.
When he woke up on Saturday in the Hospital Wing, they had told him what had happened. Apparently it had all gone fairly well. They had left the Shack and roamed around the forest and the school grounds furthest from the castle. No-one else had been out there that they had seen, which also likely meant that they hadn't been spotted. If they ever were seen by a staff member or even a student, they would probably mention it to one of their teachers or even go directly to Dumbledore who would put it all together, and then it would be all over. But that hadn't happened, and the others told Remus that the only real problem they had was trying to get him back inside at the end of the night, but they had eventually managed it between them all before the sun rose. All in all, it had gone very well.
But what this also proved to Remus was that, if they all actually applied themselves and made the effort, they could learn new things quickly if they wanted to enough. Yesterday evening, because of this, he had tried again to get them to revise as there were only two to three weeks until the exams began. He hadn't really expected them to listen to him this time but they had finally agreed to do some, if only because the proximity of the exams was making them realise that they would need to study now to be able to do the classes they needed to get into the training program they wanted to.
Walking through the library, he could see that Lily and Severus weren't sitting at their normal table, as it was occupied by someone else, though he knew that they were already here as Lily had left before him. Looking around, he spotted them at a different table, one closer to the entrance of the library, so went over to sit with them.
In their last Arithmancy lesson, Lily had asked for a copy of the syllabus from their Professor and had made copies of it for the others, they were all looking through it now. Their aim today was to go through this and identify which topics they needed to revise the most and go through those using their notes and textbooks, then to ask each other questions on any topic as they had last week.
While Lily was looking through and highlighting her copy, she heard Severus ask Remus if he was alright now and Remus reply in the affirmative. To her, this proved what she had been thinking earlier, that they actually cared about each other. Or, at least, that Severus did, she didn't really know about Remus yet as she didn't know him as well, but he didn't have to keep coming back, she was sure he was capable of learning the material on his own. They all were, but this was much more preferable to studying in silence on your own. Even so, she was convinced that they had the potential to become friends if they continued these sessions, just as long as the other Marauders didn't mess things up as they might want to do if they found out.
Once they had all finished identifying what they would need to go through today, or next week if there were a lot of topics, they compared them. They had mostly picked the same things so, although they wouldn't have too much to go through, it might take them longer as none of them were confident enough on it to explain to the others. They worked steadily through these for the next hour and a half until they had gone through them all.
By this time they were all more than ready to move on to the questions as that had been the most enjoyable part of their session last week. But this time, they all made the questions more difficult. At first, this wasn't intentional, it was just because they had gone through most of the easier topics last week as they were only just starting their revision and so had the other topics left now. But then, they began to try to make their own questions harder in order to catch the others out. Although this initially resulted in more incorrect answers, it was a good way to identify those areas that they had thought they knew well but actually didn't and as they went through every wrong answer, the number of incorrect answers gradually decreased until they were getting more right than wrong.
Even though they were learning a lot, it was still fun due to the format and they were able to just enjoy themselves, seeming to forget for a while all that had happened between them before. In fact, after a while of doing this, Lily noticed that the other two had started calling each other by their first names. She didn't think that they even realised that they were doing it, it probably just slipping out while they were concentrating on something else and just enjoying the moment. But even though they probably hadn't meant to say it, it showed that they were at least thinking of each other in those terms. By this point they all got on well together and she thought that it had passed the point of it just being about studying now, for all of them.
James had left the Common Room a few minutes ago and was making his way to the library. True to their word, he and Sirius had started their revision, joining Peter who was already doing it. They had started by going through their favourite, and usually best, subjects – Transfiguration and Defence. But after a while they had found that their notes on several of the topics were incomplete and they didn't have their textbooks from that year with them. So James had volunteered to go and find a book or two for them to use instead. He didn't mind the chance to get out of the Common Room for a while, besides Lily wasn't in there and he might run into her at the library if she was there.
But when he got to the library, he had to look around for a while to find the books he wanted as he didn't know where anything, other than the Restricted Section, was as he had hardly ever been in here, not for schoolwork anyway. And he didn't want to ask the librarian for help, it was bad enough that he had to come in here but if everyone knew that he had and that he couldn't even find a book on his own, that would be even worse. But as he walked past one of the aisles he caught a glimpse of red hair out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and turned to look in case it was her.
And it was. But who was that with her? Snape and... Remus? What was he doing here with them? He had told them that he would be studying on his own as he couldn't concentrate in the Common Room with everyone else in there. He had lied to them about what he was doing... again. They had promised not to do that any more, they could understand why he had had to lie to them the first time, but now?
They hadn't noticed he was here yet so he moved quietly to where he could still see them clearly but where they wouldn't be able to see him if they just glanced around, only if they were looking for someone there. How he wished he had brought the Invisibility Cloak with him when he had the chance, he wanted to know what they were talking about. He could go back for it now, but they might have already left by the time he got back as they had been here for a while already. This would have to do.
The three of them seemed to all be enjoying themselves, he saw, they were talking and laughing as they all studied. He was shocked to see that Remus was obviously here because he wanted to be and not because of some project from another subject that he had just forgotten about until he got here. How long has this been going on for? He could understand why someone would want to spend more time with Lily, but not Snape. And, come to think of it, why were they spending time with Remus anyway, they hated the Marauders. Or, at least, they had appeared to, it wasn't so clear now.
But whatever the reason for this, the others deserved to know as well. So he slowly backed away from them, careful to make as little noise as possible as he didn't want them to know he was there. But he wasn't looking where he was going and backed straight into a stack of heavy books piled precariously on the edge of another table, knocking them all to the floor with a crash.
This alerted the three and they turned to see what had happened. James had just enough time to see their shocked faces before he got out of there and practically ran back to the Common Room to speak to the others as soon as possible.
Remus had been having a very enjoyable time with the other two until he had seen that James was there. His first reaction had been shock that James was even in the library to begin with and had apparently listened to him about revising, but then he had realised that James had seen them all together. He hadn't planned to tell the others yet, in fact he hadn't really thought about when he would, he just knew that it would be after the exams, he didn't want any more stress or arguments when they were still to come. But James would be going to tell the others right now and he had to be there. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stop James telling the others but he could at least explain his side of it and try to defend himself.
He hadn't wanted them to find out this way and found himself regretting that he hadn't told them straight away. After they had confronted him in second year they had all agreed to have no secrets from each other. They had promised and he had broken his. He had to get there now.
Remus quickly got all his things together. "I have to leave now, I'm sorry. Same time next week?"
"You haven't told them about this, have you?" Lily guessed, quite accurately, not answering his question. That could wait.
"No, not yet." Remus replied, "I'm sorry, I have to go now." And without waiting for a response, he took off after James back to the Common Room, he needed to speak to the others too.
In only a few minutes, James had arrived back at the Common Room. He spotted the others sitting across the room from him actually doing some revision for once, if only that had been all Remus was doing. He quickly made his way over to them, he was sure that Remus would have left soon after him and wanted to have this conversation as soon as possible.
"We need to talk." He told them bluntly, then looked around at all the other students who were much quieter than normal, when you would be able to have a conversation in here fairly privately. "Not here, upstairs." Then, without waiting to see if they were following him, he led the way up to their dormitory. The slightly confused and worried glance that Sirius and Peter shared went unseen by him.
When they had all climbed the stairs leading up and entered their room, James closed the door and remained standing as the others sat on their beds, waiting for him to tell them what was going on.
"What's this about?" asked Sirius after a moment, growing impatient of watching James pace across the room without talking to them. What could possibly be this important that it required their immediate attention? Well, whatever it was, James didn't seem too happy about it.
"It's about Remus." James answered simply, and annoyingly incompletely.
"What! What happened? Is he alright?" Sirius exclaimed. It must be bad if James wasn't telling them straight away, Sirius thought. Everything had been fine just this morning, what could have happened since then that they wouldn't have heard about before now? Sirius had been worried about Remus ever since what had happened in October even during the time when the others wouldn't acknowledge his existence at all, he wasn't happy that Snape had been let go without being Obliviated when he had found out about Remus as there was nothing that really prevented him from revealing this to anyone who would listen, but he supposed that Dumbledore thought it was just too dark to use on a student, whatever the circumstances. It anything had happened to Remus because of what he had done, he knew that he would never forgive himself. It had been bad enough the first time.
"It's nothing like that." James answered to Sirius' relief, and confusion. What else could it be?
"He's been lying to us again. I just found out." James continued, sounding incensed now. Although Sirius' initial thought on hearing this had been one of shock and outrage, he soon calmed down. The only other time Remus had lied to them, that they knew about, was before their second year and he had had a good reason to do so then. He would probably have one now too for whatever this was about, which James wasn't telling them. He was probably getting caught up thinking through whatever he had found out and getting angrier and angrier, judging by his expression, waiting for one of them to ask him. Sirius thought that whatever was going on, he should wait to hear Remus' side of things before making any judgements about it and any of them getting overemotional wouldn't help things. He didn't want there to be a rift between them again.
"Found out what?" Sirius asked, noticing James turn to look at him as if he had forgotten that the other two were still there. It was just as well that he had interrupted him now before he could get too carried away. This must be something major if it was affecting James like that, even in second year when they had worked it out he hadn't been like this.
"You know how he's been going to the library at lot recently?" James waited for the others to nod at this. "He says that he's been going alone, but that's not true."
Sirius was shocked by what James said, but not in the way James had obviously intended. He had expected it to be something more important than this. So what if Remus had been meeting someone to study with. Why was James making such a big deal of it? Unless he hadn't gone to the library to study after all. He might have started dating someone else now and just wanted a little privacy for now. Sirius couldn't blame him if this was the case, they would have received little privacy otherwise. But it was only a few weeks until the exams now, surely Remus wouldn't be doing anything other than revising now, especially this year with their OWLs being so important. So it couldn't be that, but what else was there?
Sirius gestured for James to continue, "So?"
"He's been meeting with Snape," James answered, "they've been studying together. And with Evans." He continued, the jealously evident in his voice. "I saw them in the library today."
"Maybe they were just given work to do together from another subject." Sirius replied, his mind trying to come up with a logical explanation even though he didn't believe this to be the case, none of their Professors would set them such extensive work this close to their OWLs, they hardly had any work outside of lessons now as they were expected to spend the time revising instead. Anyway, Remus would have told them if that had been it, he had for Potions.
"No, they all looked more than happy to be there."
Sirius was shocked by this revelation. It seemed that Remus had been meeting with Snape voluntarily. But why would he do that? He knew that they had had to work together for their Potions project earlier in the year but that was long over by now and they had no reason to meet. It sounded like this had been going on for a while now, James had said they had all seemed to be getting on, but how was that possible? Snape knew and he hated the Marauders. Why would any of them want to do this? Why would Remus want to? Weren't they enough for him any more?
But even though his shock and confusion, Sirius remembered that he had intended to listen to Remus before he judged the situation. Even so, he couldn't think of what reason Remus might have for this, but still, he would wait and listen to Remus later. He didn't want anything to come between them again. So he would wait. He owed Remus that much at least.
Remus left the library and headed off after James who must be going back to the Common Room, that was where he had left the others earlier, he knew that James was going to get there before him but he still had to try to get there as soon as possible to minimise the damage caused and to try and explain himself before the others got too worked up about it. He would have been quicker getting back, but although it was a lot better than it had used to be, he had still not completely recovered from the full moon two nights ago.
So, by the time he got back, he couldn't see the others anywhere in the Common Room. Thinking that James must have taken them upstairs to talk more privately, Remus made his way up to their room. As he approached, he could hear their voices from inside. Luckily there was a charm on the door preventing someone outside from making out their words as they had often had conversations they really wouldn't want to be overheard in here.
But as he opened the door and went inside, they fell silent and just turned to look at him, waiting. He saw that, out of all of them, James seemed the most affected by the news. The others just sat there, perhaps they hadn't believed what James must have told them by now, or maybe they had but were still willing to let him explain. But now, after everything they had gone through together, he didn't want something like this to come between them. They had got through much more than this before, and this was fairly minor compared to what else had happened, but he knew the others would think it more important than he did. He knew they wouldn't like it, but hopefully they wouldn't try and stop it going on.
"Can I just explain?" Remus asked after no-one spoke for a moment. Peter and Sirius seemed to be willing to listen to him and gestured at him for him to continue, but James still seemed quite hostile. Remus thought he was being unreasonable about this, he understood that the others were all shocked but although he perhaps should have told them all sooner, he hadn't actually done anything wrong. It wasn't anything near the level of what Sirius had done last year and James hadn't been like this then. Remus hoped he could get through to him, get him to calm down first or he'd probably just get more and more bad tempered as it went on.
"Fine, but you'd better have a good reason." James answered irritably. By this point, Remus was close to losing his temper with him, he hadn't said anything over the years when the others had done things he hadn't been happy about. He had tried to encourage them to do some more work and revision but that had been it. What right did James have to do this to him now?
So after he had taken a few deep breaths to calm himself, Remus spoke to only the others, hoping that James would calm down and realise what he was acting like if he was ignored for a while and his outbursts didn't get any of their attention.
"We were just revising, I couldn't do it with any of you-" Remus started, but was interrupted before he could continue.
"But we've started now." Sirius cut in, as if to make sure that that fact wasn't forgotten amongst everything else that was going on. Remus had noticed that Sirius had been trying to make amends for what he had done, usually going along with what Remus wanted when they had a slight disagreement about something and now he was trying to make sure that Remus knew that he had actually started some revision, even this late, as Remus had been trying to get him to do. Remus hoped that this would help get someone on his side as even if Sirius didn't really agree with him he might act as though he did to avoid conflict. Hopefully that would get the others on board as well.
"Yes but you hadn't then and anyway, you don't do those subjects. I needed someone to study Ancient Runes and Arithmancy with, I don't know anyone else who does those and it was helpful to go through it with someone else." Which was true, if he had had to study those subjects alone, Remus wasn't sure that he'd understand the topics he had been having trouble with nearly as well as he did now. But he knew the others weren't focusing on his chances of passing the exams.
He had hoped that James would listen to his explanation, but he was obviously still fixated on another point. "But with Snape? He knows! Surely there must have been someone else, one of the Ravenclaws maybe, instead. Why would you ever want to work with him?"
Remus had had just about enough of this, he tried to keep calm but wasn't as successful this time. "I already told you that there wasn't anyone else if you would listen to me and Se- Snape has known for months now and he hasn't done anything yet, no-one else has found out. Doesn't that say something about him?" Remus hoped to get through to the others by using this logical approach, he had noticed that he had almost slipped up and corrected himself. He didn't think any of the others had noticed, he himself hadn't noticed until shortly before James turned up when, instead of focusing on answering the random questions as quickly as possible, he had still been reading about the answer to the last question and had been surprised to hear Severus call him by his first name. But he then realised that they had both been doing so for the last hour or so without noticing. He had been thinking of the Slytherin by his first name for a few weeks now and he supposed that it had just slipped out when they were both concentrating on other things so much. But he thought that that would be too much for the others to cope with right now. "And he asked me, by the way."
James had obviously considered the logic of what he had just said as he had calmed down somewhat now, but there was still something that hadn't been covered yet. "You still should have told us." He said, and although most of the anger had gone from his voice he still sounded quite accusatory.
"I know." Remus answered, he had thought about this earlier, but he hadn't felt able to tell them as he knew they would react this way when they found out, he hadn't felt like they needed to know yet, there wasn't really anything to know, it was all being blown way out of proportion. Perhaps he should have told them himself before they found out like this as he could tell that they were also angry that he had concealed this from them, but it was too late now. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, I just didn't want you to react like this and I knew you would."
"How long has this been going on for?" Sirius asked, speaking up for the first time since Remus had got there, rather unusually as Sirius was not the quiet one. He seemed to have been waiting for James to get all his questions out of the way rather than interrupt and aggravate the situation. He had had the worst time of them all over the past few months of the previous year so would want to keep them all together perhaps more than the others did.
"About three weeks now." Remus answered honestly, relieved that the conversation had turned away from just accusing him and onto getting all the facts straight. "Just for revision." He added, knowing they would be more likely to understand if that was all they thought it was, they all knew how seriously he took the exams and if he had enjoyed spending time with the others, they didn't really need to know that right now. If they could cope with this, he would likely tell them another time.
But with this comment, it seemed that all of James' anger had returned. "It didn't seem like just revision to me." He said snidely.
Although Remus had been trying to stay calm and ignore all these contemptuous comments, this one pushed him over the edge. "Yeah, alright, I had some fun at the same time, so what? It's got nothing to do with you. You're just jealous because Lily won't talk to you!"
Silence. Remus had expected a retort after this, but there was nothing. He knew he'd gone too far with that last remark but he had just lost his temper.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just stressed about the exams and everything." It had also been the full moon only two nights ago but he didn't mention it, they all knew. Besides, stating it out loud as an excuse for his behaviour would be admitting how much control it had over him which he didn't want to do, especially so soon after they had gone over the realities of life after Hogwarts in his interview with McGonagall. They all knew how James felt about Lily and though they all thought of it as hopeless, they knew better than to tell James that, especially when their emotions were already running high.
James opened his mouth to respond, but Sirius was quicker, "Can we all just calm down? This isn't going to help anything." he said, trying to keep the peace. He wasn't too happy about what had been happening, but, unlike James, recognised that it didn't really have anything to do with him after he had recovered from his initial shock. He had been relieved that no-one had been hurt as he had feared when James had first said that he had needed to talk to them. "The exams are only a couple of weeks away, we should all be revising now if we want to get into the classes we need." Usually he avoided as much work as possible but he really wanted to get into the Auror training program and that was what he would need to do so he supposed he could spare a few hours for it. "And I don't know how well the charm on the door will hold up if we all keep shouting. It hasn't been tested for this and we don't want anyone to overhear us. Shouting and getting worked up about this isn't going to get us anywhere. OK?"
They all took a few minutes to calm down, what Sirius had said had made sense and as it was so unusual for him to take this role, it shocked them all just enough for them to pay attention.
Sitting down on his own bed finally, James now seemed more contemplative about the day's events. He supposed that he had overreacted but he still wanted some answers. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked quietly, knowing now that he thought about it that he wouldn't be able to stop Remus from continuing to do this and if he tried any more than he already had, he would just end up driving them all apart and he didn't want that to happen. He valued all of their friendships too much to allow that to occur, though he still felt a little hurt that Remus hadn't trusted them enough to tell them about it before they found out themselves.
"I knew you'd all overreact. It just wasn't that important, I didn't think I would need to yet." Remus explained, "I'll still need to do more so I will be continuing with this. I need to get good grades this year."
"Alright," said James, even though he still wasn't really happy about it, he supposed that it was what Remus wanted and it was just for revising for the exams, after them it would probably be over. Anyway, it didn't really affect him now so he should probably let Remus get on with it. "So, uh, has Lily said anything about me?"
Remus just gave him a look that made him wonder why he had bothered asking in the first place. "We just revise, we don't spend our time talking about the rest of you."
Although he had told them the most part of what had been happening, Remus hadn't told them that it wasn't really just about revising for his exams any more. Of course that was important but he could have done the rest by himself now. He hoped that the others felt the same way as he enjoyed spending time with them both, hopefully after the exams they could still spend time together other than for doing work. They all got on well so he hoped he could be friends with them as well as with the other Marauders. They were different but Remus felt he needed that contrast but given how tentative their final understanding has been Remus didn't want to say anything to the others yet. He still didn't know where it was going himself, it was possible that nothing else would ever come of it and this was all it would ever be so he didn't want to make it into an issue before there was even anything to make an issue of. Even though the others had eventually been understanding about the revision, they probably wouldn't be about the rest. Maybe given time if it progressed further he would be able to tell them but they would probably still need more time to get used to this first. He had known that they would overreact when they found out, but still, he had hoped they wouldn't. It had all seemed to work out in the end though.