I know I only updated this a couple of days ago, but this is the last chapter, so I thought I'd post it and finish the story. I hope the ending doesn't feel too rushed. Thank you for all your amazing reviews - and for helping it grow from four chapters to ten!
X-Sammii-X, I think Lily is a lot more caring than she seems, but she struggles to show emotions like that. She was lovely to Ethan when he nearly resigned - it's a shame they haven't had many scenes together since then, but they've both had a relatively quiet time, at least by their standards. Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the way I wrote David - I love him. I think Lily finds it difficult to relax with people she doesn't know well, but who wouldn't relax with Ethan? (Well, maybe I'd be too excited to relax...) When Ethan gets depressed, it's very difficult for anyone to talk him out of his feelings, unfortunately. Lily isn't known for empathy and David isn't known for talking, but they might be getting through to him.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. Ethan really needs to go to Cal - Cal needs him and the longer Ethan leaves it, the harder it's likely to get. Spending more time away from Cal is only going to increase his guilt!
Panicatcasualty123, I'm afraid Cal and Ethan don't often have a very good time in my stories! Ethan's confidence has taken a battering and Cal's body has taken a couple of batterings, so they really need support - but they also really need each other. Thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're enjoying it.
InfinityAndOne, thank you for your review - I'm really pleased you like the way I like emotions. This has been a difficult story to write because there's been so much description and comparatively little dialogue. Cal and Ethan do both need comfort - Ethan wouldn't agree with that, though he would if someone else was in his position.
westlife4ever80, I wish you could go and hug Ethan - he needs hugging so badly! He will do a great job of looking after Cal - I think only Ethan has any doubts about that! I hope Lily gets a positive storyline too, but I'm concerned about how Alicia's return might affect her. Thank you for your reviews.
Ethan stood up slowly. He had the feeling he would trip or fall over and he grabbed Lily's hand in sudden terror.
She looked at him, her eyes warm. Ethan felt some of the tension drain from his shoulders. He stood still for a moment and realised he felt steady. No different from usual.
Lily squeezed his hand and tugged at it gently. She didn't let go. Ethan looked at her again and gave her a small smile, which she returned.
Ethan took one step, then another. He walked slowly, comforted by the softness of the rug on the floor. If he fell on the rug, it might not hurt so much. The rug only covered a small area of the carpet, but they could buy more rugs.
Ethan walked across the carpet. As he did, his eyes moved from side to side. He noted the walls. When he felt wobbly, he could probably lean on the walls. He did that sometimes when he wasn't very well. It mostly worked, except very occasionally when he didn't have his glasses on and didn't notice the wall had come to an end. Though actually, Cal did that a lot more often than Ethan and there was nothing wrong with his eyesight.
They walked towards the bedroom. Ethan had always dreamed of living in a house eventually – me and Lily… um, I mean me and a very special lady and maybe a little girl like Matilda who would adore her Uncle Cal and a boy who could play football much better than me – but he had come to love his flat. He was happy here. He could continue to be happy here.
Not forever of course. He might need a ground floor flat eventually. After that, perhaps he'd need to go into a home. But before then…
Ethan looked at Lily. "Lily, will I be able to do some of the things I want to do before I go into a home?"
Lily stared at him for a moment, then she hugged him tightly. "Ethan, you might not need to go into a home, but you will be able to do lots of things. But there are two rules."
Ethan felt almost as though he was drowning in her eyes. A part of him was still whispering that the rules didn't matter. It would all depend on his illness. But he was intrigued. He wanted to know. "What rules?"
"They have to be things you want to do and not things Cal wants to do," said Lily. "Cal is 'Cal' enough for both of you. But the world always needs more 'Ethan' – and there is so much more Ethan to come."
Ethan couldn't imagine what she meant, but Lily never said anything unless she meant it – and Lily was usually right.
"Did you hear there is an industry conference in Switzerland?" said Lily. "We could perhaps combine it with a walking holiday in the Alps. And if you wanted to hire a chalet, you can show me your cooking skills you learned on your courses."
Ethan felt a rush of an emotion he almost didn't recognise. But it faded quickly. "Will I be safe to cook?"
"It is the month after next," said Lily. "I think you will be very safe to cook. But I will be there."
"I… I would like that," said Ethan shyly. It could only be as friends, of course, but friends were important.
"I think we would have a very nice time," said Lily.
Ethan remembered her saying that once before. He smiled at the memory of how beautiful Lily had looked that day. He might not have the memory forever, so he would enjoy it now.
"What are you thinking?" asked Lily.
"About a time when I was very stupid," said Ethan.
Lily looked stern. "Ethan, you're not stupid."
"You asked me to have dinner with you," said Ethan. "You said we'd have a nice time. I told you I was going out with Jacob instead, but I actually spent the evening with Cal, thinking of Honey."
The sternness on Lily's face faded. "All right. Perhaps you were stupid. You should never choose Honey unless the other option is jam."
"I don't mean to be unkind, but I think I'd prefer the jam," said 'd reached Cal's bedroom. They stopped walking. He turned towards Lily and she towards him.
The door opened. David stood there. "Sorry," he said quietly, and started to close the door.
"We've come to speak to Cal," said Ethan.
"No," said Lily. "Ethan has come to speak to Cal. I will wait here."
Ethan smiled at Lily. His arms were moving. He hadn't told them to, but they were moving.
They wrapped around Lily and held her tightly. She was warm. Firm but soft. He should have felt terrified, but he felt safe.
Lily was hugging him back. "I will be here, Ethan."
"I know," whispered Ethan. He let his lips brush her forehead. He reluctantly moved away.
Lily leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
Ethan stared at her in shock. Had she… had she really…
Lily stepped away. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not," said Ethan.
"You're… not?" said Lily slowly.
Ethan turned her to face him. "I honestly don't think I've ever been less sorry about anything," he said.
"Then neither am I," said Lily, and leaned towards him again.
Ethan stopped her. "But… are you sure? I mean… I have Huntington's."
"I'm very sure," said Lily. "Because you're Ethan."
Ethan initiated the kiss this time.
When they finally parted, David was smiling. He touched Ethan lightly on the arm as Ethan passed through the doorway. Ethan heard the door close with a click.
Cal was sitting up in bed. He looked tired and unwell but not unwelcoming. He smiled. "Hey."
"Hey," said Ethan. He lifted his arm in a little wave that probably made him look like a complete idiot.
Cal was smiling in amusement, but he lifted his hand and waved too. "Hey, Nibbles. So what were you and Lily up to that was making David grin like an idiot?"
"Um… well, actually, kissing," said Ethan.
Cal's jaw dropped. "Not really!"
"Yes. Really." Ethan looked fearfully at Cal. "Do you think that's a bad idea? I mean-"
"I think it's the best idea you've ever had," said Cal. He patted the bed beside him. "Come here."
Ethan walked hesitantly towards him. He sat on the bed. "Cal, I'm sorry."
"For the wheelchair?" Cal mimed waving his apology away. "Not your fault."
"No," said Ethan. "For being an idiot."
Cal smiled reassuringly. "That's not your fault either."
"I should have been here for you," said Ethan.
"You were here," said Cal. "But it's tough being a carer, Ethan. It's tough for anyone. You're going to make mistakes and forget things. Not because you've got the Huntington's gene. Because you're human."
Ethan tried to smile. "I don't think you've ever called me that before."
"Then I'll tell you again," said Cal. "Just don't ever quote me on this or I will have to kill you. You, Ethan Hardy, are a human, and one of the best I know and if I can be half as good as a human as you, I'll be more than happy."
Ethan felt a lump in his throat. "You're already at least twice as good as me. And you're going to be even better."
Cal moved slowly and carefully. There were a few winces on the way that caught at Ethan's heart, but Cal didn't gave up. He kept moving until his arms were around Ethan.
"You seem a lot happier than David said you were," said Cal.
"I had a chat with Lily," said Ethan. "She said some things. I don't know if I agree with her, but if she believes it, then maybe… maybe she might even have a point?"
Cal grinned. "This is Lily Chao we're talking about. I'd say she's got at least two points."
"I'm going to be charitable and assume you weren't trying to be crude."
"What? Crude? When?" Cal sounded quite startled. Then he groaned. "Oh, Ethan. Is there any chance you'll believe me if I said I didn't mean it like that?"
"There's a chance," said Ethan.
Cal laughed and his arms tightened around Ethan for a moment. "I'm glad you're feeling happier."
"Me too," said Ethan. "But… it's not going to last, Cal. I'm having an 'up'. My biggest 'up' for a while."
"Now who's being crude? Not that I blame you if you've been kissing Lily." Cal rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay. I know what you meant."
Ethan smiled reluctantly, but then he was serious again. "Half an hour ago, I was having my biggest 'down'. And I think that's how it's going to be now. Up and down. And the downs will get more frequent."
Cal's voice shook. "You don't know that."
"Maybe I don't," said Ethan. "But there's a good chance. At least until I get past the depression phase. So when I'm 'up'… I mean, um, when I have a happy phase, I'm going to try to make the most of it."
"That sounds good." Cal's voice was stronger now."
"But from now on, I'm going to 'be more Ethan'," said Ethan.
Cal hugged him closer. A tiny gasp of pain escaped his lips, but his voice was firm. "I can't think of anything better."
"Though I am going to go and stay alone in a chalet in Switzerland with Lily, which might make me a little bit 'more Cal'," said Ethan. "But we're going to go to an industry conference while we're there. And walk a lot."
Cal nodded approvingly. "That sounds perfect for you and Lily. And it also sounds boring, so there's no chance of me gatecrashing! You go and have a great time."
Ethan smiled for a moment, but then another feeling filled him and he sighed, cuddling close to his brother.
Cal responded by holding him more tightly. "What is it, Nibbles?"
"I'm… I'm scared, Cal. Scared of what the future will bring."
"I know, Ethan," said Cal sadly. "And I wish I could take that fear away."
Ethan lowered his head as his eyes began to mist with tears. He knew no-one could ever take that fear away. And it would probably get bigger.
"But I'm going to face it with you," said Cal. "You, me and Lily together. I'm not going to let you fall."