Everyone who hates Ashura after they read this chapter give out an angry Hyuu. . .HE IS AN ASS WIPE!
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Chapter Ten: It was Raining
How could he still have feelings, however small, for someone like him? It was probably because of how close they had once been. Once upon a time, Ashura had been a savior to him, lifting him up in his time of need, treating him as an equal when everyone else refused to. That was why Fai idolized him.
Fai knew he was crazy; he must have been for feeling those things towards Ashura. He was an idiot that much he knew. The small smile he was wearing now, it was apparent why it sent waves of fear crashing up and down Fai's spine.
He still remembered that smile, that smile he wore when he tore him apart.
The longer he stared at him, the easier it was to remember just how much that man had put him through. It was like a bullet to the head, a few seconds after he inwardly proclaimed his love it hit him.
He couldn't love him. He did not deserve it.
Fai could not feel love.
Surprisingly this thought comforted him.
Than again, as much as he was happy, he was sad. He still hated him, Fai knew that, but it was hard to let go of him when they had been so close for so long.
The judge looked at them now. Fai saw her lips moving, but he did not understand what she was saying, his thoughts otherwise occupied with his rapist on the other side of the room. He only snapped up to attention when he heard his name being spoken.
"In the case of Flowright vs. Ou how does the defendant plead towards the charges of physical and sexual assault?"
Fai turned his blonde head to look at Ashura's lawyer who was sitting at his table, waiting. He tried to remember the name of the defense attorney. Mr. Yasha was it? "Not guilty your honor." He said clearly.
"Very well, let the prosecution call its first witness."
Yuui gulped trying to calm his nerves. Fai turned stone still beside him as Sorata san stood up to stand in front of the desk to call his brother up.
Here we go.
"The prosecution calls Yuui Flowright to the stand."
Keeping his head held high he slowly stood, letting no one see his discomfort at being removed from his twin's side. As he stepped up beside the judge he felt his defense crumble, and by the time he had sat down he had all but dissolved into the shadows.
"Mr. Flowright," Sorata asked him, standing before him with his hands clasped in front of him. If he was trying not to look intimidating he was doing a terrible job. "Tell us what you witnessed at approximately midnight of June 20th 2050."
Yuui knew what he had prepared; he remembered what Sorata-san had told him to say, but the longer the question was out in the open the less he remembered. He knew he had to respond, he had to say something or Fai would lose the case. Yuui looked at his twin now for encouragement; he should have realized he would not have found confidence in him right now. The anxiety was radiating off of his beloved brother in huge, spasmodic waves, crashing into him the moment Yuui turned his eyes on him.
Looking at him now, sitting there amongst the benches of people, grasping his elbows to stop himself from shaking and keeping his face hidden under waves of golden hair made Yuui so mad he wished he had brought a gun.
He turned, directing his rage towards the man who had caused this all, now desperately wishing he had brought that gun. He wanted to shoot him. Repetitively. In multiple areas.
To say the least, Yuui did not want to shoot to kill.
"When I got home it was quiet." He began to speak, bitterness flowing out with each word as his eyes stayed glued upon that figure. Ashura was standing, as straight an still as a plank of wood. That little smile plastered across his features, a sad little smile like this was some sort of misunderstanding. Yuui would never have believed him, never. But with that smile alone he began to have doubts if the Jury would see things the same way, Ashura always seemed to have that sort of power over people. "Fai was the only one home." He continued, eyes still glued on that face. God he wanted to punch him out.
"Where were your parents?"
"Visiting family."
"So your brother was supposed to be the only one home?"
"Yes." Yuui paused now, daring himself to tear his eyes away from that evil, despicable man that ruined his brother's life to look at the tall lawyer before him. "But he wasn't."
"Did he mention the possibility of company coming over?"
"No."
"Mr. Flowright." Sorata continued and he prepared himself for the worst. "What did you see when you returned home?"
It was hard to say whether he was hyper, or if he had drunk just a little too much at Jaton's place. He remembered there being booze, and a few drinking games, one of which he participated in, but nothing too serious. To say the least, when Yuui first entered the front hallway he was not in the right mind to speculate on why the front door was unlocked when it wasn't supposed to be. Tripping over his own feet as he kicked his shoes off he did not wonder why he was hearing the distant thump of clothes spinning in the washing machine, when it was widely known in his family that his older twin repelled technology in all forms. Yuui was too happy, too tipsy to recognize what that voice in the back of his head was trying to tell him. Shaking his blonde hair free of rain he hung his dripping coat on the railing of the staircase that led to the basement. Turning on his heels he hummed while he skipped through the hallway to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of juice, needing some substance to keep down the liquor that was sure to come up if he didn't...
It was as he was pouring the liquid in its proper cup that he heard a pounding set of footsteps tapping across the ceiling, making him jump out of his skin at the intensity.
Woah, isn't it like almost midnight? What the hell is Fai doing running a marathon at this time of night? He thought to himself curiously, taking a gulp out of the glass as he shoved the container back in the fridge.
Setting his drink down he continued his humming, walking to the other end of the house which contained the stairway to the upper level of their home. He was so happy he went to the party that night. Not only had he scored a date with a hottie hot hottie girl from the tennis team, he also managed to escape from the house which had been undoubtedly and utterly depressing for the last week. He was guessing it was from the vibes he was getting from Fai, but he did not know what had happened to his twin that was making him so upset.
They were definitely not the most popular kids in the school. When they were younger they were known widely as the klutz clones and the twins of misfortune for their terrible habits of tripping over everything (even nothing) and being absolutely terrible at sports. No one also seemed to really appreciate just how close they were. But things had been looking up for them, Yuui had got on the basketball team freshman year and Fai-chan became one of Ashura-kun's best friends: Ashura Ou meaning the MASTER OF POPULARITY at Celus High. Things had been going so well for the two of them, they both seemed perfectly happy. Than something had happened, and Fai suddenly refused to talk, he didn't hang out with any of his friends at school, and walked like a ghost in his own home. Yuui didn't know what to do, that's what scared him. He did not know what was going on, or why the change in his other half was so sudden, but there was nothing he could do. Yuui sat down with Fai once, he almost succeeded in getting it out of him…but than Fai stopped himself. It was on the tip of his tongue, he could see it! But something in his brother refused the truth from coming out, and Yuui had a feeling that now it never would. His eyes dropped from his face, his mouth closed, and he turned away. But Yuui refused to end it at that, he knew he would just have to try and try again. He refused to let his brother slip away.
If so, he would never understand why he decided to leave that night and go to the party, instead of talking with Fai. That night was the perfect night, his parents were gone to visit some distant relative and wouldn't be back till the end of the weekend, the house was empty…he might have gotten an answer out of him! Reason told him at the time that nothing would have come from it, because Fai didn't come home straight after school; he figured he was studying in the library or something. He might have waited for him if he wasn't so fed up with searching for a response. All Yuui wanted was for his brother to want his help, to know that he could come to him when he wanted to.
But still he left anyways, a decision he would regret for years to come.
He trotted up the stairs with a big grin plastered across his face, unaware of what he was about to stumble upon in his room. Yuui was too happy; Jenny had agreed to go out on a date with him! This was going to be the first time he'd ever been on a date before, he was ecstatic! No one could blame him for his excitement, but he was ever so surprised when he walked onto the landing and saw through the open bedroom door that the light was off…didn't he just hear Fai up and about a few moments ago?
"Hey Fai-kitty!" he chirped as he walked into the room they shared, surprised at why Fai had left the door open but choosing to ignore it. "You won't believe what happened bro!" he was met with silence and giggled as he shut the door behind him. "Come on Fai-mewmew wake up! I need someone to blabber with!"
It was then he heard a sound, the smallest echoing groan, so quiet it was like the wind through the trees, only half there. Instantly his mind began to sober up and his smile dampered as he walked across the room to his brother's bed. "Hey Fai-chan what's-?" CRACK! Yuui jumped back as his food collided and crumbled something on the floor. Puzzled he knelt down and smelt something that made him gag. Yuui looked at the can with confusion as he read the label.
Beer?
But, Fai hates beer.
As he brushed his fingers against the can he felt something sticky on the carpeted floor. Now he realized there was another smell, a retched odor that hung around the room like a dark cloud. It was definitely not beer.
"Fai what the hell is that? Are you bleeding or something?" Yuui struggled to push himself up off the floor. No, it wasn't just blood he was smelling, it was something else. Now he was seriously scared. Why the hell was it so dark in here? He paused a moment and let his eyes adjust to the darkness as he moved towards the desk they shared; where the hell was the reading lamp? He needed light!
On his way he hit his shin on the side of his dresser and cursed. Holding his bruised skin tenderly he realized something dark was staining his jeans. Blinking away the fuzz the dark had caused in his vision he pressed a palm against the thick fabric and thought back to when he had moved down next to the beer bottle, he had put his leg in something hadn't he? Yuui pulled back his hand and slowly brought it up to eye level. His face drained of color as his eyes took in the sight of his hand, a handprint of blood masking the outside of his skin. The blood was not his own.
"ou…ou-ee…" Yuui froze. He heard another whimper and a pitiful gasp, as if it were a struggle to breathe. "ou…Yu-ee!"
His heart thumping loudly in his ears and his brain filling with horrid thoughts he put two and two together. Stumbling to his feet he lunged towards his desk and turned on the reading lamp. Turning around he gasped so loudly, eyes wide and horrified as he shrieked.
"FAI!!!"
"I thought he was dead," Yuui said quietly, hands folded on the stand as he gazed at them. "There was blood everywhere…"
"Did you see where he was bleeding?" Something in Sorata-san's tone told him he was doing something wrong, and he remembered what the lawyer had said about eye contact. Blinking he tilted his head back up to stare at the caring but serious eyes belonging to the man who had asked the question.
"I couldn't tell at the time…I was pretty freaked out." Yuui did not want to answer the next question he was sure to come.
"Was the victim naked when you found him?"
"…Yes."
"What did you do next?"
"I called an ambulance."
"Did you have any conversation with your brother before help arrived?"
Before, he had never understood why nervous people always wrung their hands, but now as he grasped his left fist in his sweaty palm he began to understand. His eyes wandered away from the lawyer, back to his brother, his twin, his connection, feeling the anxiety that was radiating off of him. Fai had by now sunken even farther within himself, and Yuui was sure that behind that still exterior he was slowly melting, losing all ground for strength, a drowning child trying desperately to kick at the bottom of the lake with his feet. He was beginning to show what he was earnestly trying to hide for so long, his soft side, that he was actually hurting.
That he was losing all faith in himself.
Yuui could not look at him now, not when he was so used to him being so strong. Once again his mind wandered and his eyes fell upon that blasted man, and knew Ashura would be staring back at him, waiting for him to bring up the painful reminder of his betrayal to his best friend.
Yuui struggled to pick up that shaking form, the bruised, broken body that was the mirror image of his own. Crying out his name Yuui tried again and again to shake him awake, hoping the powerful jerks might jolt some life back into him.
Now that he had flipped him over, and was holding him safely in his arms he began to really take in just what he was seeing. Fai's golden hair was stained red at the tips, parts of his body, specifically his lower stomach and his face were bruised deeply. Both his eyes were squeezed shut, but his left was abnormally closed, the black and red bump already forming around the tender skin. There was blood emerging from the crack on his bottom lip, trickling ever so slightly out of the corner of his mouth every time he attempted to speak, an as Yuui shaking hands tried to find a safe place to grasp his twin Fai started to moan from the discomfort. But more blood was coming from his shoulder, his back, Yuui also noticed that a part of his front had sunken in awkwardly, something must have been broken. And that crimson liquid was especially coming out of his brothers backside, that, and another sick, disgustingly sticky yellow liquid that was clinging to his inner thighs and backs of his legs. Yuui was a teenager. He knew what it was.
"Fai…" he said his voice cracking and his heart almost ceasing. "What happened?"
Now he opened the one eye he could, staring at him incomprehensively, his blond eyebrows tilted upwards as he looked at him with a confused stare. His chest was rising down in quick, uneven breaths as his mouth opened but refused to close. Cradling his brother's head against his shoulder Yuui tried to calm himself. He did not like what he saw in those spheres. There was no faith left, no more hope. All life had been drained from his mind, and as Fai's blue eyes met his brothers, two identical forms yet so different, Yuui felt nothing. Not like he was supposed to, not like he always did when he and his twin made eye contact. Before, when they held hands and looked into each others eyes, it was like they were seeing each other's inner soul, and all the feelings and thoughts that guarded it. But now there was nothing, nothing but empty space. His mind, and his heart were exhausted of all emotion, and all that was left was an empty coffin.
Yuui dug around desperately in his pocket with his free hand, fingers slipping as he tried to grasp the cool plastic of his cellular device. Out of the corner of his vision he noticed Fai's eyes slowly close and his brother slumped against him. Shaking his head desperately Yuui jerked his shoulder up and down, forcing him to move.
"Fai? Fai-chan please stay awake!" He said desperately as he dialed the emergency number. As he heard the phone ringing on the other end he looked down and saw that Fai had his eye open again, and although his face was half buried within Yuui's clothing and his hand clinging desperately to the fabric, he was indeed awake. After what seemed like an eternity a woman answered.
"911 what's your-?"
"Please! Please I need and ambulance!"
"Sir I'm going to need you to calm down and tell me where you are."
"Please…" Yuui was choking on his words as he felt the heat from his twin's blood permanently ink his skin. "Please hurry. I think someone raped my brother."
"Sir you have to tell me where you are."
"190 Davis drive." He said trying to stop himself from screaming at the woman. "He's hurt, please, please hurry!" Now both of his arms were wrapped around the trembling child like form and he let his phone drop out from where he had it positioned against his ear and clash against the floor. He was losing blood, way too much of it. Realizing he couldn't afford to waste any more time he looked around for something, anything he could use to press against his shoulder and stop the flow of the blood. His first thought was to grab a bed sheet, but as he looked at Fai's bed he noticed nothing but a bare mattress.
This guy was smart; he had taken all the evidence of the crime and had hidden it somewhere! Then how about a pillow case? No, he had taken that as well. Despite Fai's vigorous protests at being moved Yuui had to lean his brother's body against the bed post as he dashed to his own bed and ripped the comforter off, revealing the creamy sheets hidden underneath.
Racing back to Fai's side he grabbed a fistful of the material and pressed hard against the blood emerging from his right shoulder. He heard him sigh in protest, muttering that it hurt, but Yuui knew he could not stop. He did not know first aid at all, but he knew that pressure on a wound was supposed to help stop the blood flow so he pressed and continued pressing despite his brother's voice telling him to stop. Keeping his mind focused on his task and the repetitive motion of calming his brother with soothing words his thoughts drifted away to what exactly was happening.
Someone had raped Fai, that he was sure of. But why? Who had done this? Whoever they were was obviously smart, they had taken away the sheets where the act of spoil had been committed. But where? Where did they hide them? His face paled and he cursed loudly as he remembered hearing the washer running. That bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing. There was nothing he could do as he listened to his brother's sobs as all their hopes of getting evidence were quite literally washing down the drain.
Well, not all… Yuui thought of it as he looked down at Fai, down to where there was indeed, the evidence they needed. It was there, staining his twin's body with disgusting signs of pleasure. He hadn't been too smart as to wash that away, whoever this guy was.
Who? Who did this? Did someone specifically target Fai-chan?
Yuui hugged him close, stroking his head and whispering into his ear. Someone could be targeting his brother, but why? Who would want to hurt him? He had done nothing wrong; he had never hurt anyone before. Yet even then he remembered what he was thinking to himself earlier that night, that something in Fai's attitude had changed, something had happened. His behavior was strange, awkward, even though he would always find a permanent smile plastered on his face, Yuui could see through it so fast. It was not him, it was fake. Yuui knew it all had something to do with school, he only seemed at ease when he was at home and even then he was only half there. What was it? Was somebody bullying him? It was bit uncommon, they always were the underdogs of the schoolyard social status,. Yuui knew that that wasn't it, or at least, not all of it. Was this a hate attack? Did a stranger do this? Was it a kid from school? Someone he knew?
Suddenly Yuui heard the loud, echoing blasts of sirens and the rattling of a doorknob, alerting him that the ambulance was here. He tried to stand up but a weak hand clung to him as wide eyes, now paled to the color of shining glass stared at him desperately.
"Yu-ee…"
Yuui couldn't move. Through the open window he heard the knocking and the calls of paramedics and threw back his head as he yelled for help. "Up here! We are up here! Fai let me go get them." He turned back to his brother earnestly trying to pry him away gently.
"…he'll come back…yu-ee…" He turned back, blood turning to ice.
"Who will come Fai?" he said quietly.
"Shura."
Yuui's eyes narrowed in confusion, who was Shura? Well obviously Fai knew his attacker at least that was a start. It would make things easier when they decided to press charges; because they were going to press charges. Whoever this Shura guy was, he was going to pay for what he did to Fai.
Wait…Shura…Shura?
…Ashura?
Ashura? No way!
Was Fai raped by the most popular kid in school? He shook his head as he heard the pounding of footsteps. It did not matter now; he just had to get Fai to safety. Those two trembling hands grasped Yuui's collar as Fai buried himself once again in his brother's clothes. Yuui knew he wouldn't be able to carry him downstairs, and he did not want to leave him, not for a second, but the paramedics couldn't hear him from here. Ignoring Fai's cries for him to stay he ran out of the room and down the stairs, tears in his eyes as he started screaming. "Help! Please come help!" Now they heard him and they came from the downstairs and charged upstairs. Without stopping Yuui ran back to the boy who laid half unconscious on the carpet. In no time they had him on a stretcher and someone asked Yuui if he wanted to come in the ambulance. He did not answer, only jumped back up to his twin's side, still half in shock as they shut the doors behind him.
…What the hell happened?
It was horrible, watching his twin get questioned on the stand, even though it was all for him. Fai could not stand to watch it, to have to sit and see the effects of what happened to him rebound on his family and friends was just heartbreaking.
Soon Sorata asked all he could and just like he had warned them, it was now time for Ashura's lawyer to question the witness. This was going to be the brutal part, Fai knew that, but still he was hoping they would believe him, that no matter what Ashura's lawyer said the jury would look in their favor.
Fai watched him now, a slim, well dressed man well into his forties stand up and approach the stand. He was not smiling.
Uh oh. Now the hard part begins.
"Mr. Flowright at what time did you approach the scene?"
"It was just after midnight."
"Mr. Flowright, you informed the police that when you walked into your room, you distinctly remember smelling alcohol is that correct?" Yasha asked.
"Yes."
"So you agree that there was substance abuse by your brother prior to the rape?"
Wait what? Yuui hadn't said that!
"No…I never said substance abuse happened prior to the rape!"
Oh no, wait!
"So you are saying that the report you said to the police was a lie? That, I quote, "there were empty bear cans on the floor downstairs and up. Fai reeked of it." Was a false statement?"
"No I-!" Oh crap, Yuui was stuttering now too. Fai felt his heart race. Just tell them what you said Yuui, tell them exactly what you said. I was. I was drinking remember?
"He, he was drinking yes."
"Was this drinking a regular problem?"
"No of course not! ...Only at the time. He was going through a tough time and broke into dad's liquor cabinet." Fai let out the breath he was holding, at least he was telling the truth again. Than again…the blonde could feel the stare of the Jury as the eyes turned to him. Something told him they were not all impressed by the fact a teen broke into his dad's stash.
"Was Fai in the right state of mind when you spoke to him next?"
"What do you think? He had just been fucking raped!" Yuui retorted, unable to contain his outrage. Fai just rolled his eyes. Of course, I had been completely calm while these events had occurred, Mr. Yasha.
"Enough Mr. Flowright!" The judge did not look pleased by his use of language and Yuui immediately tensed. "Refrain from further use of foul language and answer the question."
"No." Yuui answered after a pause, his voice laced with bitterness. "He was not."
"When you entered the room, all you saw was 'an open window' as you said."
"Yes," he hesitated before speaking, knowing where this was going.
"So you did not actually see the accused in your house or leaving the property?"
"No."
Now he turned back to the judge. "No further questions." Yasha said before returning to his seat. The judge looked towards Yuui and motioned for him to do the same. Wiping the sweat off of his hands onto his pants Fai saw his twin move slowly back to his seat beside him. The second he was back next to him Fai grasped him like a lifeline. A silent connection went through him; on one side gratefulness was sent, on the other sorrow.
"The prosecution calls Fai D. Flowright to the stand."
Oh no, they were calling him. No. No he could not do this! The moment Fai heard his name being pronounced he'd forgotten everything Sorata had told him to repeat. He forgot how the defense lawyer was going to question him and how to respond, and for a moment, he forgot everything, even what exactly it was that Ashura had done to him.
It all came rushing back, breaking through his protective barrier in an instant.
Why are you screaming? No one is going to come for you.
At one point you seemed to be enjoying it.
Never knew you could be so tender Fai.
You're not going to break on me…are you Fai?
Don't you dare tell anyone, or I will kill your brother.
You are all alone…
You are mine.
Fai grasped his wrist with a shaking hand, this had to stop. Feeling Yuui slowly release his hand he realized he had to make it stop. He had to end this now. So he stood up and walked towards that foreboding seat that was waiting for him, impulsive actions pushed aside and fearful thoughts put on the back burner for a while to simmer. His face was a mask of calm, and as he added less pressure to his wrist he took a calming breath, was sworn in, and sat on that highly uncomfortable wooden bench that was the witness box.
"Please state your name for the records."
He leaned into the microphone as he spoke. "Fai Flowright."
"Mr. Flowright at what time did Mr. Ou appear at the doorstep of your home?"
"About eleven o'clock."
Fai heard his lawyer approach him and he remembered that he was supposed to remain eye contact at all time. His head shot back up as he spoke. "Could you tell the jury what happened that night?"
At first he could not speak. His lips were stuck together with dryness and he worried no amount of moisture could separate them again. The images, the sounds, they all jumbled together as the memories all attacked him at once. As they broke through the barrier he had put up to protect himself from them, he felt them get all messed and out of order.
He had stabbed me right? No, he stabbed me before he got up the stairs. Should I even bring that up?
Fai was not sure anymore.
Like the pieces of an unsolved puzzle his memories were scattered. He stumbled to remember exactly what he had told the police that night and the many after that; this was the key to the trial. No matter what he had to stick to the story he was telling, if something was brought up that he had lied about and he didn't react appropriately he would loose the case.
He couldn't afford to.
Oh crap they were waiting on him weren't they?
"I-!" as he finally opened his mouth to speak his voice emerged with a crack. Woah that was much louder than he expected. The blonde cleared his throat. A roomful of people stared back at him, waiting.
"Mr. Flowright would you please tell us what happened the evening of June the 20th 2050?" He heard the judge say. It was definitely an order.
Wait, evening.
That's right, it was wasn't it?
Keeping that thought in mind he closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on his memories. He listened to the sounds in the room, the shuffling of feet, the silent cough of one of the Jurors', the soft paddling of rain against the windows.
That's it.
That sound instantly reminded him of that night. And the little pitter patter awakened the memories he had buried away within his mind. Could you blame him? It was not exactly something he strived to remember.
"…It was raining that night too."
"To hand crafted beers made in local breweries! To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese! To leather, to dildos to curry vindaloo!" he sang at the top of his lungs, lifting up the can of beer in an imaginary toast to himself as he fell back off his chair laughing his ass off. He fell to the floor with a thunk his laughter filling the empty house with its boundless echoes.
Yah, Fai was really drunk.
So drunk he didn't know just how hard he was crying.
"Mokonaaaaaaaa!" Fai sang, groaning as he reached up to try and pull himself back up onto his comfy sofa chair. "Pull me up!" He didn't realize he was talking to a stuffed animal on the other side of the house. Opening his blue orbs he continued to reach up his hands, as if this might make him move. Groaning with the effort he just stayed with his arms stretched to the ceiling and suddenly laughed.
"Look! I'm poking the ceiling!" In reality he was just reaching, and anyone watching would have thought he was crazy, but from where he was lying down on the floor it honestly looked like he was actually poking it. He laughed, closing his eyes again as the musical notes escaped from between his lips. Fai's voice was so different than what he looked right now. If a blind man was standing in the room he would have though the blonde was completely content and just a little hyper. Anyone else would immediately discard that happy tone of voice and recognize the fact that he was sobbing.
As the tears escaped he had to cut his laugh short, his tone turning higher and more surprised as he gave out a pained yelp. It was obvious that the salt in the tears were bothering the scrapes on his face. Now he was silent, and he pushed himself up.
I guess I should fix myself up. Fai thought to himself as he moved his bruised body, too drunk to realize the pain his torso was in. That's where the biggest deal of the damage was done; when they had attacked him on his way home from school he had quite literally gotten the wind knocked out of him. He knew he should have expected this eventually, now that he wasn't a friend of Ashura, his social status had dropped to below acceptable, and the fact that he was pronounced as being homosexual meant he was twice as likely to get gang beaten.
To say the least today was not one of Fai's best. He had just gotten home about an hour ago and his body ached at having to walk the three hours it took to get from his school to his house. That and he was pretty sure the bruises didn't help. It was raining the entire time. Ashura really was an ass…how could someone just stand by and watch someone who used to be their best friend get beaten unconscious like he did? Did he not feel any regret, any remorse whatsoever? They had kissed at that party that night, and he just used the excuse that he was drunk, that it didn't mean anything. Even if he was mad at Fai for having a crush on him, and he said he didn't want to be seen with him anymore…Fai never believed he'd send his jock friends after him. They had told him everything the blonde teen had feared while they beat him, how Ashura was just leading him on this whole time, how he was in love with another girl, some chick named Hannah from school and would rather kill him then be seen with him. It was so hard to disbelieve them when his ex best friend stood over him, leaning against the school wall, watching as he was kicked, punched, and bruised. Then…he walked away.
And Fai was pretty sure he didn't regret doing it at all. He probably would have preferred if Ashura had killed him, seeing that look in his eyes was deafening.
He jumped when a large loud bang of thunder filled the room with sound. Fai couldn't help but notice how much his heart raced; it was pathetic that he had to be so worried that they would come to his house to kill him…but they did threaten him after all. He knew he had a right to be scared.
It was just one kiss, at one stupid party. It should not have sent such a trigger of actions.
Fai was a mess. Both emotionally and physically. His mind did not even register completely that it was hurting.
"Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman, german wine, turpentine, Gertrude stein, Antonioni, berotolucci, Kuro-sama, carmina burana!" He sang once more, meowing pitifully after every other word. Damn this stuff was good! Just a few more and he might be wasted enough to actually get some sleep tonight.
The blonde teenager let out a surprised little hyuu and jumped out of his skin as he heard someone wrapping quietly on his front door. Smacking the front of his chest so hard he was sure it would leave a handprint he blinked once, then twice, registering that yes there was indeed someone waiting outside.
Fai moved sluggishly towards the door. Who would be out in a thunderstorm? Was this person a danger? It was almost midnight; shouldn't that be a dead giveaway that this wasn't just a social visit? Fai did not think of any of these things and opened the door with a small, drink induced smile.
"Meowwww," he said waving at the figure with his eyes closed and smile wide. "Can I help you?" He opened his eyes now, taking in the drenched figure before him. Right now he was not standing in the light, but the second he moved forward, that small calm smile on his face like always Fai resisted the urge to gasp.
"S-Shura?" Fai said, his face draining of color as he rushed to close the door. You could say in two seconds he had almost sobered up completely.
"Please!" Ashura quickly said putting his foot in the doorway and grabbing the door with his hand. "Come on Fai please…" Fai felt his face burn bright red as the tall teen's eyes gazed down at him through wet bangs. "Can we just talk?"
He did not know what to do. What did they have to talk about? Opening his mouth his next words came out muddled. "Just, just wait a second." Quickly he shut the door and leaned against it, pushing his hand up to cover his mouth.
Oh damn, he thought, his blue orbs shaking piteously, what is he doing here?
Fai turned around and ran towards the window where he saw his friend huddling outside his door shaking as the rain soaked him and turned his skin to ice. Good, he deserves to be frozen. For a moment the blonde considered leaving him there. What the hell was he supposed to do? Just let him into his home after he had abandoned him to the mercy of his friends earlier that same day? They fucking beat him! And now Ashura came crawling back to him sniffling because he was getting rained on!
Wait, what the hell is he doing here anyways?
Taking another quick swing from his dad's cooler he placed it on the table beside him and ran a hand through his hair.
Better get this done and over with.
He moved towards the door, unaware just how much he was shaking. "Get in." he said, unable to hide the sour tone in his voice. "You're not staying here for long okay?"
"Okay." He said even as he took off his shoes and pulled off his soaking coat. Fai took them from him, careful to make sure he did not touch him in passing. Placing the items of clothing over a heating vent on the floor he turned away from him, trying to stop the relentless pounding of his head and the ache it cause in his heart. It was amazing just how quickly Ashura's little visit was sobering him up. He didn't like that. Fai wished he never had told him; he wasn't even sure at first whether he liked him or not, but when Ashura started paying more attention to him, calling him nicknames and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, even for just one blissful second…he figured Ashura liked him back.
He never considered just how wrong he could be.
Fai turned back around and stared at his ex best friend who stared back at him like he had something on his mind. His face grew shocked, Ashura's big, dark, beautiful eyes going wide as he saw the state of Fai's face. "Damn Fai what did they do to you?"
You know fully what they did to me. Why was he only thinking these things? Why wasn't he saying it?
Silence formed as Fai struggled to find something to say. He could not believe that in just a few days they had become such total strangers to each other. It was simple; they kissed at a party while induced with alcohol, Fai actually mean it and told him, Ashura had been humiliated, and his friends used that as an excuse to make his life miserable. As far as Fai should be concerned, Ashura was a traitor and a terrible friend. Yet if anyone asked him at that moment what he was feeling for him…he would immediately answer it was relief and hope. His cheeks burned as the man looked him up and down and Fai cursed himself for his reaction. Looks like the remains of his crush was still there after all.
"Would you like something to drink?" Fai found himself asking lamely.
Damnit, I am so hopeless.
"I think you've done enough of that for both of us." He retorted in that quiet calm voice of his, reprimanding him like a child, even as he reached over to hand Fai back his drink. "But I guess a little more wouldn't hurt."
Fai was too drunk to realize that drinking more with a man who may or may not want to cause him harm was a stupid idea. Without a word he grabbed it back, threw his head back and took a long swing. "Happy?" he said quietly before letting out a little hiccup. Man his head was starting to hurt.
Ashura just chuckled and moved to sit in the living room, the blonde teen going in the opposite direction to get his unwanted guest a can from the fridge. He moved back towards him slowly, inwardly praying that he would just get up and leave, he wasn't sure how much more pain he could take from this guy! He sat down in the leather chair farthest away from Ashura, tossing him the beer can from a distance and finishing off his own before starting another one.
"Getting a good head start on me aren't you?" Ashura said opening his own and taking a fair gulp.
Fai curled his legs up onto the seat of the chair. Keeping his eyes glued to the object in his hands he couldn't look at him. "Just, just what do you want?" Oh no, he was stuttering again. This was not a good way to start the conversation; he didn't want that traitor knowing just how hurt he was.
"I wanted to apologize for not doing anything today."
Fuck you. That's what he wanted to say in response. How the hell could he say it like that, looking at him like he was reporting the weather? But once again his voice failed him, falling so far away within his body he feared he'd never hear from it again. How could he say something like that? How could he come back with that after rejecting him so horribly?
"Come on Fai speak to me."
What was there to say? The blonde took another swing, the tears evident in his eyes. "It's…okay Shura." No, why the fuck did he say that? He didn't mean it! But the words still came out, and there was even a small smile gracing his lips, even as the drops flew from his eyes. "I understand."
The dark haired man was silent.
"Was there anything else you wanted?" Fai said to him, finally turning to look at him, facing those cold black eyes like he was staring past them.
He could visibly see the anger in those orbs, something Fai never experienced before: Ashura was always to pleasant to be violent. "Why are you being so difficult Fai?" he said quietly, his smile disappearing and his hands tightening on the sides of the armchair.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He snarled, slamming the can down on the table so the liquid came flying out. Fai was on his feet, with each passing second finding it more and more difficult to keep from screaming. "You are the one who came here in the-!" He was cut short, his arms raised in emphasis straining the cuts and scrapes made along his torso. The blonde winced before grasping his sides and retreating slowly back to his chair. He sat panting, eyes half closed as his anger dissolved into a pain so hot it was breaking his heart.
No, he was pretty sure it was Ashura who was doing that.
He stood up and walked slowly towards him. Fai looked at him with partly open eyes, his hands shaking and his face flushing as the boy advanced towards him.
"Here we should get you cleaned up." Ashura grabbed his wrist, quite forcefully actually. Fai pushed him away, speaking weakly.
"I'm fine."
"You're bleeding." Ashura said even though he backed up so he was a few feet away from him.
"Why do you want to help now?" Fai said bitterly, the pain disappearing. He shifted his body so his feet were curled up once again on the soft cushion. With shaking fingers he moved his hands away from his body to once again grab the beer. God, he needed it. "You didn't want to help when you watched them beat me."
"Because I care about you."
He took in a sharp breath, letting his fingers tighten around the can as he drained it. There was a time when he would have given anything to hear AShura say those words, now he couldnt care less, now he realized just how empty those words were. Tears sprung into the corners of his eyes as he bit back a sarcastic response. Fai did not know what to say. Was he kidding around with him? Did he really mean it? If so then why wasn't he acting on his feelings? Why had he ignored him for the last week?
"I don't think you know who you're fucking with." Fai said his head turning away angrily. "If you're messing with me Shura…"
"I'm not Fai. I do care for you. I want you-," he seemed to stop and Fai turned his eyes up to face him, somewhat worried about the aggressive tone used. Ashura had moved, they were real close now. REAL close. His hands rested on either arm of the arm chair as he leaned in towards him, their faces inches apart. Immediately all feeling left, leaving his sense dull and empty. He felt a feeling of dread cloud his mind as he leaned even closer. Why didn't he trust him all the sudden? A week ago he would have welcomed this, even enjoyed this closeness. Ashura reached out a hand and Fai took in a shaking breath as his skin touched his face.
"Lean back." His low voice ordered in a quiet voice. Strangely, he found himself complying with his order, leaning back into the chair as his hands wandered down his body. They traveled across his shoulders and over his chest as Ashura pressed his lips gently against him. Fai froze as he was kissed, momentarily distracted by this strange warmth being pressed against him. He didn't know how to respond, and Ashura seemed to be expecting this, doing all the work as he sat himself upon him and removed his lips momentarily to lean Fai's head back. Fai bit on his lip, his hands still encircled around Ashura's back as the boy began kissing his neck. What…what was this? He let a little moan escape as the hands traveled across his back then farther down. WOAH! Fai tensed, they went a little low there, but Ashura didn't seem like he wanted to stop touching him any time soon. Part of Fai didn't want this to happen, the betrayal and hurt from earlier making Ashura so undesirable at the moment…another part enjoyed this completely, encouraged it, wanted it to continue.
He opened his eyes, the ones he hadn't noticed he'd closed, biting back another sound from escaping his lips as Ashura continued kissing his neck. His hands explored everywhere and Fai knew this must have been a dream, the real Ashura hated him, rejected him, why would the real Ashura be touching him like this? His hands would not be doing this, his lips would not be gracing him, and this wasn't him.
Even as Shura did these things to him, making his body shudder, tears sprung into his eyes. He didn't want this anymore. Not with him. "A-Ashura?" He said his voice growing shaky as Ashura pressed himself harder against Fai's frail body. Suddenly his hands stopped and the dark haired boy unraveled Fai's hands from his back. With a surprising strength he grabbed those hands and forced them down to his sides. The blonde felt something in his stomach turn. This wasn't right, something was wrong. "Hey, Ashura can we-?" As he tried to speak the man forcefully pushed himself against him, grinding their bodies and kissing Fai's lips, forcing them open. Fai's eyes remained open now as he tried to push him away. But no, Ashura was everywhere, exploring everything, touching something that was not his. He was not liking this.
Suddenly, a movement to his left caught is eyes. Still attempting to detach his lips from his ex-best friend's he looked at the window, where he saw a carful of people sitting on the road. There was one who had actually gotten out of the car, one Fai recognized as his one of his assaulters from earlier.
This one had a camera. Fai pushed Ashura off of him, gasping as he saw another flash of a picture being taken. The tall teenager stumbled back, confusion filling his face as Fai stood on his feet. "What? What's-?"
"Get out," he said in a throaty voice laced with pain. "Get the hell out of here!" Fai pushed him away angrily. Ashura stepped back looking stunned for a moment before opening his mouth to say something. But no, Fai was not going to give him another chance. He had invited his buddies along, the ones who had just beat the crap out of him and then let them watch as he made an idiot out of Fai, let them take PICTURES none the less!
"Get away from me! Get out of my house! I'm calling the cops!" Tears falling and hitting the ground like bullets he turned on his heels and ran upstairs, knowing Ashura would show himself out.
He wasn't actually going to call the cops, he was in too much emotional pain to even think of picking up a phone, but later he would wish he had.
"So you asked the defendant to leave?"
"Yes." He said in a clear tone, hiding his emotions under that thin mask of his. "I asked him to leave but he showed up with a…he didn't leave." Stop stuttering. Stop stuttering!
"What happened after you ran upstairs?"
"I sat in my room, waiting to hear the door close and his friends drive off. When I thought they left I ran back downstairs." He didn't mention it was to get more beer. "When I came back upstairs, he was in my room, waiting for me. I almost screamed but he came closer to me and covered my mouth. He reached behind me and, and he turned off the lights and…" No, this was too much. The twenty one year old stopped in the middle of his sentence, his voice going weak. His mind filled, the images shaking, disturbing.
Ashura's body touching his, dropping the cans he was holding and hearing the cracks as their feet crushed them, Ashura turning off the lights as he felt him...
Fai raised a hand, covering his mouth with the heel of his palm. Sorata waited a moment before asking another question, trying to move him along.
"What happened next?"
Fai couldn't help but laughing. It was pathetic how he had to say it again when they all already knew what his answer would be. But that's how these things worked. His laugh was anything but happy, it was filled with bitterness, with hurt, with pain. Everyone in the courtroom who knew him would think he was somebody else just by listening at him. The tears remained locked around his eyes as he spoke.
"He raped me." Fai said, his blue eyes trembling as he blinked back the tears.
"That's a lie!"
Fai jumped, giving out a choked gasp as Ashura stood up. He opened his mouth, attempting to say something as the other people in the room went into an uproar. The judge smacked her hammer and the officer beside her moved to the front of her pedestal, looking threatingly at the tall man who had just stood up. "Sit back down Mr. Ou!" she said, her voice loud and slightly outraged. "Yasha, refrain your client from further comments or he will be detained from the court room." Mr. Yasha nodded moving closer to Ashura and whispering urgently to him. Ashura just sat back down, looking at Fai with empty eyes.
Fai had never felt more afraid.
Sorata-san waited as the rest of the people in the room calmed down, watching as the judge called for order. The man, almost twenty years Fai's senior, noticed how badly he was shaking and used a soft, but urgent tone as he tried to move the proceedings along.
"Do you remember anything else?" he said.
The blonde man blinked back the tears, now falling from Ashura's movement. His bottom lip quivered as his mind wandered, the flashbacks dangerous.
They'll never believe you Fai, you know that.
You taste good, anyone ever told you that?
Close your eyes Fai, sometimes it helps.
Stop yelling already. It's ruining the moment.
I will kill your brother,
I will kill your brother!
You hear me?
Yah, he remembered a lot more than he was letting on.
But before he could answer Sorata's next question he was already pulled back into a strain of memories, even more painful then the last.
Ashura jumped when he heard the sound of a door being closed from downstairs. Immediately he was up, moving around in a quick, panicked state. He picked up the knife from where he had dropped it on the bedside table and shoved it inside his jacket. Forgetting all talk about forcing Fai into the shower he ran to the window to open it up, obviously worried the person who had just entered the house would catch him. Fai only watched, his heart lifting with each passing second.
Someone was here! Someone would catch him! In his mind he shouted for help, but when he parted his lips to speak his voice came out high, squeaky and painfully. "Up here." He said his voice quieter than he had planned. "Up here!" As soon as he said this he regretted it, Ashura noticing he was speaking and hitting him over the head. Fai remained silent.
"Don't you dare tell anyone." He whispered urgently, yanking at Fai's hair so hard he feared the pulling would rip his head off. He turned him so they were facing each other and at eye level. "If you tell anyone, I will come back, and I will kill your brother. You hear me?"
The teen just hung there limply, too weak to announce his horror at the thought of his twin being hurt. Ashura dropped him then, moving back towards the window to get out on the tree resting just outside it. No, Fai had to stop him, he couldn't get away! They had to know it was him, even if he died before help got to him; they had to know how Ashura had betrayed him.
"Help…somebody help…" he said weakly. Fai tried to push him self up but the pain was too great, he feared he was dying.
Ashura must have thought he was talking to him because he turned around, his foot halfway out the window.
"It's time you learned to pick yourself up Fai."
Tears filled his eyes and he let them sit there at the courthouse gazed back at him, all deadly silent. His face was only staring at one person, at Ashura. He could feel multiple pairs of eyes turn to look at him, dissecting him with their stares. Good. He deserved to feel the shame of what he did to him.
Ashura needed to know just how much he ruined his life.
He couldn't believe that at one point they had been so close. But that was before Fai realized just how much he was deceiving him right from the start. He may have shown him dreams at one point, but he broke his promise, he said he would never hurt him like the others did. Ashura deserved to feel terrible. He had made Fai feel it for the last four years.
"No further questions." Sorata-san said in a loud voice, drawing Fai's gaze back to him. As he sat back down at his table the blonde couldn't help but notice the sadness he felt at having to force Fai to relive it all over again. Yasha just stared on, looking at him thoughtfully. The judge said something Fai ignored and his opponent stood to attention.
The defense attorney rose.
And Fai's confidence in his case fell.
"So wait, you want me to come out to Celus?" Kurogane said through the landline, leaning against the countertop, his dark brows furrowed.
"Please big brother?" Tomoyo said sweetly on the other side giggling lightly as she hear her brother's confusion. "I know we were supposed to have lunch together today, but I just found out Martha wasn't able to cover me so I'm the lead assistant for the Times today, isn't that amazing?"
Kurogane just rolled his eyes. Leaving it to his sister to completely forget what days she was busy. Tomoyo had just graduated from the Academy, a really well rounded out University with a degree in journalism. He was immensely proud of his little sister; she was hired just a few weeks after graduation at The Loshin Times. She was an assistant to one of the lead journalists there for the criminal acts section, which was a very big deal when she was so young. She also liked to make her own clothing; Kurogane always wondered why she never started her own clothing line. He just guessed it was more of a hobby, writing had always been more important to her.
Still, Celus? There was a big difference between Loshin and Celus! What the fuck was she doing all the way over there? That was like a three hour drive away from her house in the upper class part of Loshin…where she lived with their father. No, Kurogane thought shaking his head to clear his thoughts, I'm not thinking about that little fucker.
"When will you be done?" he said.
"Well…we're covering a court case today…I'm needed before and after…but I do get a break period at about seven!"
Seven o'clock, at night? So much for having lunch together then. "I don't know Tomoyo, I don't think I should leave the kids by themselves, Blondie is gone to visit his brother at the hospital."
"But…" damn he could almost hear her pouting through the phone. "I had something I wanted to give you." Smacking his face with his palm he groaned.
"Fine, but you're paying for my bus ticket!"
"Deal!" she said excitingly. "I'll meet you outside the courthouse at about 7:15 okay?"
"Whatever." Kurogane said, feeling himself blush at his sister's joy.
"I love you Kurgy!"
"Love you too squirt." Kurogane hung up, chuckling to himself. He loved the girl dearly, and protected her like she was ten even though she was only a year younger than him. Kurogane had always been protective of her, but who couldn't be? She was just too loveable.
He'd never tell her that.
Worse than that she was god damn annoying in about 1000 aspects. She called him nicknames, although not as bad as the blonde idiot he slept with, she had him wrapped around her pinky finger, she forced him to be her model whenever she designed her clothes, the list went on and on.
Moving away from the phone he looked at the bed he and Fai had slept in last night. He tried to ignore the pang he felt when he woke up and the blonde wasn't there. He also feared what the idiot might have seen when he woke up…
He was so lucky that he always woke up before Fai did. There had been many times in the night when Kurogane had unconsciously shifted in his sleep, occasionally wrapping his arms on top, or even around, the young man. It would have been immensely embarrassing if Fai had woken up with Kurogane on top of him.
Still…he didn't mind being able to cuddle with someone as soft and warm as him.
Damn. Why did he have to smell so good?
Kurogane growled, moving over to make the bed. He was still pissed off about what had happened between the two of them last night. Maybe it was a good thing the idiot was gone for the weekend; they both needed some time to think about what happened.
And what they wanted to do next.
Kurogane folded the futon back up and turned his head to look at Syaoran and Sakura's bedroom door, which was closed since they still rested deep in slumber. Lifting his arm up to his face he glanced at his watch. It was almost one. He should probably get them up; tell them where he was going for the day.
Looks like he was headed for Celus in the next few hours.
OH YEAH! Enter Kurogane! xD and yes, for all of you who know, the song Fai was singing was indeed from RENT. And believe it or not, the words Kuro-sama are actually in there O.o I couldn't believe it when I saw it XD
Hope you guys liked, sorry that it was completely and utterly depressing! : (
Please review! Constructive criticism is always welcome.
Signed,
Destiny's Daughter.