CHAPTER 10
Konan had known. She'd known when the knock sounded at her front door, rousing her from her sleep, and a glance at her bedside clock read seven in the morning, that it was Nagato come calling. She rose from the bed and crossed into the living room where she paused before the front door and folded her arms over her chest.
"Konan, I know you're there," the deep baritone of his voice carried through the door. He paused. When she hadn't answered, he continued. "Konan, open the door. You can't continue avoiding me. We need to talk."
Konan's head dipped back in frustration. Yes, she knew they were going to have to talk, but did it have to be now? Now, when the pain of his betrayal was too great? Couldn't he afford her some time alone to think, like he had when he first came round her place to tell her about Ino?
She groaned at the thought of the other woman, and her mind went back to the day at Nagato's office when she saw Ino up close. She decided she liked it better when all she'd known of the other woman was her name, because now she had a visual to accompany it. Konan was surprised that Ino had even been Nagato's type. She was Konan's polar opposite, from top of her wavy blonde-haired head to the bottoms of her high-heeled feet, and it had been the cruelest of torture for Konan when she lay in bed last night, unable to sleep for images of Nagato making love to Ino.
Nagato was a very passionate lover, and as she lay in bed, unable to be lulled by the rain itself outside, she agonizingly indulged in the fantasies of how sex between him and Ino may have been. Had he been gentle, or had his passion been stoked to such heights that he was the way Konan knew him to be, feral, almost without control, his lovemaking bordering between pleasure and pain as it brought him to his climax…and impregnated Ino.
A nauseating pain ached in the pit of her stomach. She thought she was going to be sick. She groaned and wrapped her arms about her middle as she willed the thoughts away. No, she didn't want to think about that now, just as she didn't want to talk to Nagato now, and wished she could will him away as well, wished he'd be anywhere else now than on the other side of her door.
She jumped when he knocked again with urgency this time. "Konan," he bellowed, and if for no other reason than to quiet him down and keep him from disturbing her neighbors, she quickly wrapped a trembling hand around the knob and opened the door.
Konan's gaze immediately rooted upon his rain-slickened boots as he filled her doorway, noting the small puddle of water that pooled there. Apparently, he rode his motorcycle over in the rain again. Her eyes slowly raked up the length of him, over his jeans and leather jacket, until they finally came to rest on his eyes that pierced into her. Their eyes met and held before she quietly stepped back and pulled the door open wide to allow him entry.
After Nagato entered, she closed the door and immediately went to fetch a towel which she handed to him. She crossed into the living room to place distance between them, and her arms resumed their folded position over her chest as she sat in the armchair. Her eyes lowered to her lap as she heard Nagato remove his jacket, helmet, and boots and dry himself off before he crossed into the living room and sat on the edge of her sofa adjacent to her.
Her eyes silently registered with shock when he produced a small, tattered gift box and placed it at the center of the table. And though the lid was closed, she recognized the gift box and knew it contained the origami booties she'd made. She turned her head away and pressed her lids closed so he wouldn't witness the tears that pooled in her eyes.
"You're pregnant with my child," Nagato stated simply, to which Konan didn't respond. "That's what you came by my office to tell me, isn't it?" Though he knew the answer, he wanted to hear Konan say it, to confirm it with her own words. But Konan merely nodded once, and Nagato sighed heavily. "Konan, look at me," he commanded. When she didn't, his eyes narrowed. "I said look…at…me."
He watched as Konan's head dipped back as she willed her tears at bay before turning to gaze at him with wide and moist eyes. He decided he liked her like this, fresh from sleep, her hair mussed and lids slightly heavy. Yet, closer inspection revealed the red rim of her eyes that indicated she'd been crying. Dark circles marred the delicate skin beneath them, and he figured that if sleep had come to her at all last night, it hadn't been restful. A stab of guilt pierced his chest.
"Look, Konan, I know how this must look, how you must feel," he started, but was cut off when she finally spoke.
"Do you?" She asked huskily. "And exactly how must this look, Nagato? What's more, how must I feel?" Their gazes held until Konan decided she couldn't bear to look at him any longer. She quickly rose and made to cross into the kitchen, but was shocked when Nagato caught her midstride and clamped a hand beneath her upper arm and wheeled her around to him.
"What do you want, Nagato? What are you here for?"
"You're putting me on, right?" Nagato asked. Did she really just ask him that? Surely she knew why he was here, how he felt about her.
"Don't waste your time, Nagato," she said with a shake of her head. "No mere apology is going to fix this," she stated. She turned to leave, but was stayed when Nagato tightened his grip on her arm.
"Don't turn away from me, Konan. You already turned me away once," he stated, referring to the incident at the hospital. "Why did you do that?"
Konan was aware he spoke of being turned away at the hospital. Karui had confided what the nurse had confirmed upon being asked, that Nagato had indeed come. "Oh, God, Nagato, you couldn't have possibly expected I wanted to see you then," she challenged, her eyes ablaze as they locked with his. Did he honestly think he had some kind of revolving door access to her whenever he wanted, her feelings be damned? How arrogant of him! Her chin lifted as she snatched her arm free of his grip. "And you can't possibly expect that I want to see you now," she spat.
Nagato drew back a step at her words. He erected himself to his full height as he regarded Konan beneath lowered lids. His eyes glowed with emotion and he struggled to check his peaking anger. He didn't come to fight with her; it was the last thing he wanted.
A small silence stretched before he spoke. "Alright," he conceded beneath his breath, "but before I go, it's only fair that you at least allow me to explain." He sighed heavily when Konan averted her gaze with a roll of her eyes. "Look," he started, "this isn't easy for me, either. How the hell do you think I feel?"
Konan snorted. "Like you got caught," she answered angrily.
Wait, what? Caught? Nagato shook his head. "What are you talking about?"
"You heard me. I think you were more than happy to continue to string me along." She shook her head. "Who knows how long you were seeing that woman?" Her mind worked. "And then at your office…?" Konan's voice trailed off before she swallowed and continued. "Well, it goes without saying that my showing up when I did blew your little secret out of the water."
"Whoa, whoa, what the hell are you getting at?" Nagato exploded when realization dawned on him. Konan actually thought he was having a relationship with Ino! "Good God, Konan, do you actually think I would do that to you? That I would actually be involved with Ino while stringing you along, as you put it?" Did she actually think he was even capable of that kind of deceit?
Konan crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg. "I know," she responded. "Sounds crazy, doesn't it? At least that's what I thought, too, but after thinking further, I don't think it's so crazy after all; at least not as crazy as the fact that I allowed it to happen by remaining in an open relationship with you." When Nagato continued to frowningly regard her with narrowed eyes, she continued. "I assume responsibility for my actions, and I know I really only have myself to blame for the predicament I'm in, but truthfully you were only able to lead me on as much as I allowed you to." She chuckled, finally able to view the hilarity of her actions. "How stupid I must have been." She looked Nagato square in the eyes. "But so you know, Nagato, all that stops today, right now. I'm not playing this game any longer because, quite frankly, I'm tired. I'm going to be a mother soon, and I no longer have the luxury of stupidity. I have to think about what's best for my baby." My baby. She winced, aware of the careless, Freudian slip of her tongue.
Her baby? Nagato inhaled deeply. "Well, just so you don't entertain any crazy ideas, you'd do best to remember I'm the father of your baby," Nagato chided through clenched teeth in a voice so low that Konan almost had to strain to listen.
"And the father of Ino's baby as well," she reminded, "just so you don't entertain any crazy ideas," she retorted, hurling his words back at him.
She gasped when Nagato, quick as lightning, gripped her shoulders and shook her once. "Damn you, woman," he seethed, his face mere inches from hers as he bent low to her. "First off, I thought I made it clear to you back at the tower that Ino didn't mean shit to me. She still doesn't. She was a one-night fling."
"I know that was her that called you at the tower that night, so why does she have your number?"
"The fuck if I know," he responded with a shrug. The fuck if he cared. "She must have entered her number into my cell that night back in Konaha or something."
"And the fact that she's in Ame now?" There was no doubt Ino came to see him. "What about that?"
Nagato shook his head as he recalled. "She called me at the loft that first night you were there, but I didn't return her call until later. She said she had to tell me something very important, but couldn't do it over the phone." He shook his head again. "She said she had some business to tend to here in Ame, and wondered if I could see her then." He shrugged. "Kill two birds with one stone, I guess."
Konan scoffed. "How convenient," she chided, and Nagato shook her again.
"And second off," Nagato continued, "I ordered a paternity test that she has yet to submit to, so who knows? There's a possibility the baby isn't even mine anyways."
Konan shook her head, still clenched in his grip. "That's really grand, Nagato," she derided, "really fucking grand. You knock a woman up and have the nerve to doubt the paternity?" She snorted. "I'm surprised you haven't doubted being the father of my child, too, or do I have that to look forward to as well?"
"That's because I know you, Konan. I know I'm the only lover you've ever taken, therefore I know the baby's mine. About that I have no doubt." He watched as Konan winced and figured he gripped her too tightly, but he hadn't cared. He wanted to hurt her, the way she was hurting him now, with her nonchalance.
"Are you so sure?" One brow rose despite the discomfort of Nagato's vice-like hold on her, and one corner of her mouth quirked upward into a sly smile when he gasped.
"Don't," was his only command. "Don't you dare play this game, Konan," he cautioned menacingly, "because you won't win. I promise."
Don't play this game. Infuriated, Konan squirmed in his grip. "You're hurting me, Nagato," she stated angrily. "Let me go!" When his grip hadn't slackened, she placed both her hands against the broad expanse of his chest and pressed with all her might. "Let me go!" She slightly stumbled when Nagato finally released her, and she swatted his hand aside when he reached out to steady her. "Just leave," she ordered.
Nagato was instantly contrite when Konan crossed her arms to rub her upper arms where he gripped them. What was he doing? What was wrong with him? Damn this woman for making him crazy! "Konan, I'm sorry if I hurt –"
"Just get the hell out!" She lifted and pointed a trembling finger towards the front door. Was she that easy to read, that predictable? Was it so hard for him to believe she'd taken another lover as well, like he had? She whimpered. No wonder he treated her the way he had. And it had been her fault. Damn it! Damn him! Damn it all!
When he didn't budge, she side-stepped him and crossed back into the living room and to the front door. Gripping the knob, she made to hurl it open when she was halted by Nagato's voice.
"Be sensible, Konan," he reasoned, resolute in his decision that he wasn't going anywhere until they cleared this matter up. "We have a home together, a life. And as far as I'm concerned, nothing Ino says or does can ever jeopardize that."
"You're the father of Ino's child, Nagato," she reminded from her position by the door.
"So she says. What if I'm not?"
"And what if you are?" Konan's eyes implored him. "Have you thought of that? Have you thought about what that means?" The ramifications of Ino bearing a child for Nagato were more far-reaching than either of them would ever realize. And for the life of her, Konan could never accept raising her child with Nagato, not while another child of his had to grow up in Konoha without a father.
Nagato's gaze lifted to some distant point in the room over her head as she spoke. He knew what she said was true, and he knew he sounded like a thoughtless ass for holding out for some miracle, some thread of hope, that he wasn't the father of Ino's baby after all. But he knew that if such were the case, and the paternity concluded that he was the father of Ino's unborn child, that Konan would be lost to him forever.
"Look, Nagato, let's just call it for what it is, okay?" Her tone was fatigued, for truly this whole situation managed to drain the sap out of her.
"And what would that be?"
Konan eyes lowered. And what would that be? She wondered. "A prelude to a break up," she stated softly, and hunched her shoulders. She eased the door open and held it open for Nagato to leave.
Nagato breathed deeply. "You don't know what you're saying," he pointed out. "You're angry."
"Don't, Nagato," Konan countered with a shake of her head, "don't you dare insult me like that."
"And you know I never would," Nagato stated as he made his way to stand before her, but for the life of him he couldn't believe she really wanted to end things with him. Not like this. Not now, when happiness was practically theirs for the taking. She acted as if that incredible first night at the tower had never happened, when he confessed his love for her. Hadn't that meant anything to her? He checked her rigid posture, the way her features settled into their usual placid expression he was all too fond of, and he knew she meant what she said. Was there really nothing he could say to her? To reason with her? Hadn't their love been stronger than that?
Nagato emitted a soft chuckle as he lowered his head and slowly turned to walk to the front door. His eyes held her as he slowly pulled on his boots and shrugged back into his jacket, turning the collar up. He grasped his helmet in one hand, his other folding over her upon the doorknob as he bent to her ear.
"I'm actually quite disappointed in you, Konan, but if you think for a minute you're going to walk away from me, from us, with our baby," he shook his head slowly, "then you are sorely mistaken." He released his hold over her hand and turned to disappear through the door and back out into the rain.