The longest chapter so far! Yay for the that. I'm building up to some great things guys! I just hope I'm getting this right. If I have time I will be posting another chapter tonight. So review, review and review!

The more you curse me, the more you're blessing me.

The image in the mirror can be so hard to bear sometimes. Those eye's that follow you everywhere, judging you for ever wrong thing you did, telling your brain that you aren't worth the oxygen you breath, telling you to give up...but the mouth will tell you to stand tall. You'll see it's shape form into a tight line of determination, it wants you to ignore the bias in your brain. It wants you to fight.

Amelia was fighting with all her strength to stay focused after excusing herself from most of the camp. It had been hard, especially when Rick had caught up with her later in the day to discuss keeping herself under 'wraps'. Rick reminded her that they had a deal and as painful as it was she agreed to go by his rules until the time was up. He left it at that but she knew from the cold look in his eyes that he was going to push her back into a corner again later.

Sighing into the wind she pulled her jacket around herself a little tighter, she had watch with Daryl tonight who was already perched on an overturned bus just before the prison gates. He nodded at her as she hastily climbed the wreckage and parked herself by his side. Amelia knew he was uncomfortable, just as much as she was but something had left her today and she was too tired to fight him. She needed to rest, her brain needed to rest or she was certain she wouldn't survive the fight and they would of wanted her to survive.

"Much movement tonight?" she thought this was the most common thing to ask. Truth be know when she was with her own group she never did watch much. They all took care of her really.

"Nah" he mumbled as he began cleaning his arrows. Amelia rolled her eyes to herself and chose to look out onto the vast fields surrounding them. Oh how much the world had changed, turned to shit and let Satan's spawn run wild.

"I didn't mean to be such a bitch to you" and she didn't realise the words were coming out until she heard them back in her head. Scrambling to not seem weak in front of the man looking at her like she had just sprouted two heads she carried on "I don't particularly like being pushed into a corner"

Daryl nodded with a grunt "I can understand that" and he nodded again. Amelia nodded too and turned back to look out the grounds. Darkness was really settling now and a light drizzle started to descend. Amelia didn't really care about getting wet, there was something so free about feeling the weather on your face.

"Rick really wants you ere'. Thinks your going to keep us together, to be one of us" and he looked right at her, with those piercing eyes and she just managed to grimace.

"I wish he could see that I'm no angel. Hell most of your group don't even like me. How can I be your enemy and your ally?" and she looked right back at him, wanting him secretly to change her mind.

"They don't hate you. They don't know you. Nothing scares this group more than damn secrets even if there is crazy motherfuckers on their tail every day" and he pointed to a particular walker chewing at the metal bars.

"Secrets aren't always so bad" and she looked down at her worn leather boots, stifling tears and the embarrassment of once again being so weak.

Daryl didn't say anything, he couldn't possibly say anything for the frog that had just arrived in his throat. He felt the familiar flare of anger bubble in his stomach at these new feelings he couldn't explain. He was supposed to hate this girl, hate everything about her but every day he was finding small bits of common ground with her. He had never had that before.

"I lost my brother a couple months back" and it was out before he could even reign himself in.

Amelia looked up in shock, she noticed he hadn't meant to say anything to her but she couldn't help but feel the need to know how.

"I'm sorry" she said sincerely, letting Daryl see she wasn't just a total bitch with great aim "How did he go?"

"Walker bite. Saw him gnawing on some guys chest. I put him down" and the emotion in his voice was void. He had practised that line in his head since the day of his brothers passing.

Amelia's stomach dropped the moment he had said 'I put him down', oh she knew exactly how that felt.

"I know how you feel" and Daryl knew she did, he had seen it in her face. "My camp...my guys were ambushed a year ago, I was under the Jeep fixing a leak when these guys came out of know where. Story short they all turned as I was stuck-stuck under the jeep"

"Fuck" he breathed and she looked at him then, her bottom lip trembling only a little.

"I saw my best friend reach for me, you know I was so stupid, I thought he was okay but it's when he tried to-to" and she stopped. Shaking her head she knew that Daryl didn't want to hear this, he didn't want to or need to pity her.

"You killed them all?" and she saw no judgement in his tired face.

Smiling sadly she nodded "I couldn't let them go on. I buried them too. I promised myself I would find their family and let them know"

"Hell they probably ain't even got any family now" and Daryl looked back out into the darkness.

Amelia thought about what he said for a second and she felt herself agreeing, although she didn't want to it was hard not to face reality. Amelia hadn't any family...now everyone was in the same boat.

The shift went on in a comfortable silence. Both of them thought about what eachother had said and pondered on what it was like to be one another. Daryl felt a little bit of respect to the woman that had made his life hell the past week and Amelia stopped seeing him as the enemy.

From a distance Rick had been watching the two talk, a smile as large as the sun across his face. He knew people, oh Rick really knew how they ticked and he proved that by sticking the two most damaged people next to each other. It would only be a matter of time before Amelia began to forgive all of them for what they where doing, Rick was sure of it.

Lori wouldn't die for no reason.

–

Daryl sat scoffing his breakfast down when Carl came bursting in, gun in hand and his hat in the other. Carol told him to slow down but he was in such a good mood that he couldn't and chose to ignore her.

"Daryl! Guess what?" and Daryl groaned. This kid was too much sometimes, if it wasn't him being a nosey ass or asking to look at Daryl's weapon he was moaning about how much is dad wasn't listening to him.

"What kid?" and he pushed his empty bowl away.

"Amelia said she'll teach me a few things. I'm going to be able to fight just like her" and Daryl almost choked on the food he was still chewing. Carol looked at him and they both shared a look of concern.

"That's good for you kid but don't go botherin' her now, she has things to do"

Carl could not be dissuaded today, he ignored Daryl's negative attitude and ran for the prison doors. Amelia had promised to give him a quick lesson before she helped Rick clear the traps.

–

"You do realise you're holding a gun right?" Amelia asked as she walked around the young boy who was so eager to learn. Amelia had been bugged by him in the last few days and she knew the only way to make this time go by was to keep occupied and she saw nothing wrong with teaching a little discipline.

"Yes" and he frowned at her, clearly not enjoying getting the first thing wrong infront of a crowded yard.

"Then hold it properly. Your wrist looks weak. If you've got a walker up in your face and you need to use it, it has to be firm" and she tightened his wrist for him.

"It's heavy though" he complained, his face strained.

"You'll get use to it. How are you with a knife?" and she pulled her own from her boot and twizzled it around her fingers. Carl watched in amazement and she sorta liked that.

"I'm OK I guess" and Amelia threw her knife, up in the air between them and watched his reaction. He flinched and stepped away. From the corner of her eye she could see the strain and anger in Ricks face.

"Woah!" Carl breathed.

"Look you have to own your weapon. That baby is going to save your life" and she picked it up only to pass it to Carl. He held it in amazement, his large eyes wide with wonder but his fingers twitching for expertise.

"Throw it up for me" she demanded and without thinking he threw it.

Amelia's eye's caught the tip of the blade mid flight, her brain knew that it was going to come tip down first because of the weight. Turning and pushing her wrist up, only to twist it she caught the knife with it's handle and flicked it back down to the ground, in between Carl's legs.

"Jesus..."

"He aint' going to save you kid. A knife will though" and she winked. Amelia instructed him to throw it up again but this time to watch everything she did. Carl liked what he saw, she was like a ballerina, effortlessly grabbing the sharp weapon in mid flight to cause destruction wherever it was needed.

"You're like one of those superheroes in the films I use to watch" and he tipped his hat.

"If you're determined and patient you'll be able to do all of what I can. You just have to be brave" and she bent down to his level. "Look I know you think your a man but you won't be a man until you see that fear is real and good. It's really the only weapon you need, keeps you alive" and she tapped his chest.

Carl didn't quite understand what she said, he knew that what she was saying made sense but he couldn't piece it in with his own life. Carl believed he was brave, he had done things not even his own father could do.

However Carl's wanted to learn every skill Amelia had so he could protect Judith and Beth. He would fight for them, no matter what it took.

–

From a distance Carol began fretting to Rick, she was worried about Carl, afraid that he was being taught things he shouldn't of.

"If he wants to be a man now. That's his decision Carol" Rick said tightly, ignoring the anger in her eyes.

"He's just a kid! He's not old enough to-"

"In this world Carol there isn't a chance to just be a kid. I tried to keep him from seeing the damage and from killing his-" and Rick paused, choking grief swelling in his throat "But I want him to survive this and if she is his best shot then I'm all for it"

"Lori wouldn't of wanted this" Carol said, shaking her head and looking around and the rest of the group, hoping that they would join in. Everyone looked down at their feet and she suddenly realised what Dale had felt like back at the farm. Her last option was to look at Daryl, he always agreed with her on these things but she wasn't even looking at her.

"Lori wanted Carl to beat this world" Maggie said after a few seconds of silence and she looked right into Rick's eyes. It had been a while since Lori's death but Maggie needed Rick to know what his wife's final wishes were.

Carol shook her head, her heart breaking for Carl's innocence. Oh she didn't like this, if it was her Sophia she would of done anything to protect her innocence a little longer.