Beltane I hate the very idea of it at this moment. Everyone in the Own has been teasing me but Flari is right it's better than it was. I'm in Corus and I wish I wasn't I know that my father has someone tailing me when I go into the city now but usually Flari takes care of them. But tonight her favorite night of the year. She says she just loves the idea. The romance of it and the fact that it marks the creation of a lot little ones her words not mine. I walk down into the city watching carefully many people are drunk and I know how that makes people act.

"Alan!"

Oh the gods hate me. "My lord what are you doing down in the city tonight?" I look just behind him. "Oh Buri I did not see you. Are you two spending Beltane in the city this year?" I pray they are planning to go off and leave me alone.

"We've been set to follow you by your father and your mother but Alanna will deny it if you ask her. Come to think of it so will George oh well." Rauol told me.

"Fine." I snapped at him. I didn't care what he thought of it he'd given me the night off so that meant that for tonight he was just my uncle and he was bothering me.

"Try to keep that temper of yours under control." Rauol told me I wanted snap at him again but what would the point be all he had to do was order me back to the castle and my night would be over.

We walked together quietly at least I seemed to be ruining their night as they were ruining mine. I heard the sound of her voice and moved faster. I heard my lord chuckle. I rolled my eyes. I turned the corner and there she was. Dress so inappropriately that mothers were shoeing their children away from her but it wasn't really working. The children of the city love her so much. Actually all children seem to be attracted to her Sarah hadn't spoken of anything but the pretty lady from the healers ward since she'd met her. I sighed it was a relief just to be in her presents some days more than others. But still… She was dancing I wished she would have worn something else while at the same time I wish she was wearing nothing at all and alone with me. NO stop she made it clear that this would not be a night that we spent together in bed. It was a night when children were conceived a night to celebrate lifelong loves. She refused to wear her charm tonight and she was not wearing now unlike most of the other girls around her age or just a little older. Young ladies not looking for anything but a fun time on this night of romance. Flari was the most beautiful untouchable thing I had ever seen.

"She is something to look at. Don't tell Thayet but she's just as pretty as she was when she first came to court if not more so." Rauol flinched as Buri kicked him in the shin.

Flari bowed low and looked up and saw Alan. "ALAN!" She ran to him she was clearly drunk and I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

"Flari have you been drinking?" I asked her sternly.

"Yes!" She laughed and spun in a circle. She really did love to move and to be seen.

"You are not a very good drunk my dear Flari. Why did you drink?" I asked in a whisper.

"It's Beltane it is a night of great passions. And I wanted to see it from the loosest most free point of my mind. Ahh I see you have chaperones. HA ha ha." She laughed joyously. "You are pregnant are you sure you should be out here with all the drunk city folk?" She looked straight at Buri like she'd not had a drop to drink and then she reached out and took her hands and started to try and get her to dance.

"What is she going on about Buri isn't Pregnant." Rauol told me.

I smiled this was too perfect. "If Flari says she's pregnant she's pregnant I've never known her to be wrong about these things." I looked him in the eye to let him know I was quiet serious.

Rauol stepped forward quickly and took his wife and looked at her like he was the happiest man alive. "Is it true are you really?"

"Don't be ridiculous of course not." Buri told him and his smile faded. Buri rolled her eyes at him and held out her charm.

"That is broken you have gift Sir surely you knew that." Rauol did a double take. He couldn't see what was plain to me now that I knew what I was looking for. Flari got into his face and waved a finger at him. "I'm drunk not stupid I'll have you know that I am the most powerful mage in all the city. I'm not wrong I…" I put my hand over her mouth this is why I didn't want her to drink.

"Enough said my dear girl please say no more there are too many ears here." I looked at her and she looked at me in a way that should be declare illegal. I wanted her I wanted her right then and there.

"I am not Pregnant!" Buri said indignantly.

"Yes you are what are you upset about I'd love to be…" Once again I put my hand over her mouth she was sure talkative tonight. Rauol didn't know what to be more shocked about the power she claimed to have, the fact that she wanted children, or his wife being pregnant. I knew he could now she that her charm was broken.

"Alan?" Oh joy my mother. "What are you wearing girl?" Alanna eyed Flari strangely and then it hit home who she was. "Alan?" She asked with dislike.

"Flari my mother. Mother Flari. You've already met my father I beg you not to say what you are thinking." I made introductions in a clipped tone.

"Yes he put a knife to my throat it was fun. And then I got to pay cat and mouse with Numair. Oh and Sarah she was so prefect like a doll." I put my hand over her mouth again. I did not wish my father to realize that all he had to do was ask the right thing when she was drunk and she'd tell him anything.

Too late it seemed. "So girl what are you doing?"

"Don't talk to me you're a jerk! I don't want to talk to your wife the Kings Champion either. I don't want to talk to any of you I want to dance!" She was being loud thank you again alcohol. I let her go and she when back to her dancing.

"How much has she had to drink?" George asked.

"Can I just say too much and I don't know. I… We just got here. Hey mom can you settle the argument and tell Buri if she's pregnant?"

Alanna looked confused but she walked over and placed her hand over Buri's stomach. She then looked up with this watery smile. "You're pregnant."

"No." Buri looked on in shock and Rauol hugged her. "I'm not ready."

Flari heard that and decide to rejoin the conversation. "You'll be ready or the baby will die that's how it works. I highly doubt you are unready. You will make a wonderful mother much better than some of the people down here in the city. You'll be fine I'll take care of you personally if you'd like." She didn't slur her words like most people do when they're drunk but you can tell by the big smile and the sharp quick words she'd normally keep to herself.

Flari laughed again I knew she was really enjoying herself. She looked at me that way again completely unashamed to be completely enamored with me. Clearly lusting after me it was written on her face as plain as day. I wished it was darker so people couldn't see how she was looking at me so clearly. She didn't care what my parents thought. That wasn't the alcohol that was just Flari. Someone from the Dove handed her a drink and she throw it down like she drank all the time I tried to stop her but she was too far away. "No Flari please you have to stop drinking or I'm going to ended up caring you back to the Dove."

"Maybe I want you to take me home." She eyed me in a way that was clearly meant to be suggestive. My mom looked stunned and da he looked like he saw an opportunity.

"So Flari what can you do with your gift? Just general." George asked her.

"Flari don't please don't." I wanted more than anything to beg her to be silent.

"I can do with my gift anything I want to do with it." Flari told him. I thanked all the gods that she put it that way.

"What about that necklace? Where did you get that?" George asked her carefully.

I wondered about that too. She always wore that but it didn't seem like something she'd buy for herself. "I've had this my whole life it's magic." She whispered the last two words like they were a secret and then she spun around in a circle I really wished she'd stop showing how drunk she was and now she was a bit unsteady on her feet and I knew she'd want to dance more. "It lets me open doors that are locked and sometimes it makes doors where there aren't any. It's how I get into Alan's room at night." I hit myself in the face and grabbed her hand and pulled her into me. I put my arms around her to try and make her stop. Trying to protect her from the prying words of my father.

"Please don't ask her things right now dad she's drunk please I'm begging you not to take advance of this." I just confirmed that she was always like this when she drank. I should not have given him that piece of information.

"Do you know what that Necklace is lass? It the Tricksters Key. It's a gods magic in that necklace. You could use it for all kinds of things. Don't tell me all you use it for is"

"Shut up Dad! I want you to stop and if you don't I'll make you!" I glared at him he needed to see that I was serious. But sadly Flari didn't really care.

"Oh I've used it to go into the university once or twice I want to look at some of the books on healing." I pulled her hand and started to walk away from them. I was bent on getting her away from them. "Alan I was talking to him." Flari complained but she didn't pull away. My dad started to follow but my mom stopped him. Thank the Goddess. "Alan are we going someplace quite?"

She looked at me like I was the only man in the world and I loved her for it. She always looked at me like that. I wanted her to always look at me like that. I knew that would be one of the things I'd find myself thinking about as I sit in my visual the night of my Ordeal. I pulled her into a ally and I kissed her. I kissed her like this would be the last time and she kissed me back. We spent that night together and she whisper words of love and devotion while I made love to her. It was different than every other time. She said things that she never would have told me if she had been sober. She told me that I was it. The only one for her and she loved me and would always love me. She told me that she didn't want to be a noble but she also didn't want to let me go just as much. She cried herself to sleep. And I found myself feeling a terrible amount of emotions all at once. I was angry and happy. I was miserable. I hate my life but I knew I wouldn't walk a different path. And I'd never felt more sure that I had made the right choice while feeling at the same time like I was drowning. I wondered if this was how dad felt when mom was with the king back when she was a squire and he was still the Prince. I'd ask him if I could bring myself to.

OK were all done. With this chapter at least. I'm sorry I had to post it like this but I had to leave work and that is where the computer is.