Love's Labor Lost
Lita kept moving down the hallway, trying to avoid the flames that were consuming its walls. The intense heat radiated and licked at her skin as the fire burned the wood. Off in the distance, the same baby's cries started again. It wailed loudly and openly now, distress and pain afflicting it terribly. Lita couldn't stand the sound, it ate at her. She had to find where it was coming from. She started running, faster and faster but the hallway seemed infinite, a deep blackness in front of her that had no end. Just when she was going to give up hope, the flames led her to a single room where a black draped crib stood in the middle. The cries came from inside it. The flames reached out like tentacles and attached themselves to the black lace material, clinging to it with an unbreakable grip. The flames roared to life and engulfed the entire structure, consuming everything in its path. Lita reached out and tried to smother the flames but to no avail. She tried to reach inside and pull the baby out but it was no use. The flames bit her like rabid dogs, forcing her back temporarily. Lita was hysterical now and ignored the pain of the burns on her hands. She continued to fight the aggressive flames but they consumed and absorbed until the entire room was alight. The flames burned and melted her skin, singeing and bubbling it. The pain was beyond anything Lita could have imagined. She screamed in horror and agony as the baby and the crib were burned to ashes…
The doctors and nurses scrambled. The baby was flat lining. It was dying and there was nothing they could do about it. Lita had been relatively stable, they couldn't work out why the baby took a turn for the worse now but the direct blow to the pregnant abdomen caused shearing of the placenta away from its' underlying attachment to the uterus. The detached area of the placenta was no longer functioning and unable to supply oxygen to the fetus. Lita felt terrible cramps and began to bleed. Once the miscarriage had begun there was little the doctors could do to stop it. Kane ran into the room after giving an interview. He instantly felt everything. The heartbeat slowed till it stopped completely. It was over. Lita felt it too. Kane was right by her side.
"Noooo! Noooo…" He cried out. Kane collapsed on the bed at Lita's side, his head in his hands. He wept and screamed openly, he didn't care who heard him. All Lita could do was stare up at the ceiling, the pain and shock of the experience leaving her feeling bewildered and almost catatonic. She continued to hear Kane's wailing though; it was like nothing she had ever heard. He cried like his whole world had just crumbled in front of his very eyes, he was weak and helpless, bereft and consumed by sadness. Lita could never have imagined he was capable of being shattered like this. He was seven feet tall, 320 pounds of pure muscle, a true mountain of a man and now here he was: weeping openly, the devastation tearing him asunder.
A late term miscarriage was physically and emotionally eroding. Lita would be forced to experience her body expelling the pregnancy tissue and the fetus in painful detail. The bleeding seemed never ending but the doctors assured her that it was the normal process. The cramping continued and a bloody mess remained. Tears rolled down her face as a dead fetus was delivered. It was optional to view the fetus after miscarriage. Some women felt it gave them closure, some women felt it was too traumatic to see the tiny body.
"I want to see." Lita said with a shaky voice. The doctor brought the bloody white sheet towards her. She braced herself as the doctor pulled back the cover. The figure was so tiny yet perfectly formed.
"It would have been a boy." He said to her.
Reality hit Lita hard. She collapsed back down on the bed, Kane continuing to weep beside her as she shed her own tears. Kane placed his baldhead gently on her chest. They were both united in grief. But Lita had never felt so alone.
Lita's body still hadn't expelled all the pregnancy tissue and she was forced to endure more suffering, as she had to undergo a dilatation and curettage procedure. She was wheeled into the operating theatre and given a general anesthetic. Her cervix was gently opened and the remaining pregnancy tissue was removed so that the uterus was now empty. Lita spent almost 12 hours in recovery. Kane remained by her side the entire time. When she awoke, her abdomen was swollen but noticeably smaller, the bump now just a memory. She looked over and saw Kane next to her. There were dark circles under his swollen and red eyes. He never looked so defeated.
"I'm sorry.." He said through tired eyes. This was the first time he had ever apologized to her. It shocked her to be honest. "Snitsky will pay for this." He told her.
"Leave me alone Kane." She threw it back at him. All she had endured was because of his selfishness, the pregnancy, the pain, and the miscarriage.
Kane stood up gruffly. He was noticeably angry, his nostrils flared and his chest heaving.
"You have no idea how much I wanted that baby." He retorted.
"Oh I know exactly how much." Lita reminded him. He had used her body as his own personal laboratory.
"I hope you're happy… You got what you wanted in the end." He spat.
This hurt Lita immensely but that was the reaction he wanted. Reminding her of her previous abortion attempt stung her soul and made her wince.
"Get out Kane." She told him.
He looked down at her for a moment. They made eye contact but Lita refused to budge and give him any sympathy.
He turned and marched out the door without so much as a backward glance.
Lita sighed with relief. Oddly she had felt the urge to ask him to hold her. It must have been the grief, the hormones and the drugs causing her to feel so irrational and emotional. But for a moment she had the desire to ask Kane to hold her, to surround her with his big arms and squeeze tightly. Maybe it was true; the only one who could take away your pain was the one who had inflicted it in the first place.