Chapter 10

Sometimes, in life, you have to choose between two choices, just like in some complicated surgeries. Some are inoperable, and yet you still want to try. You know that neither option can be justified as the right choice. So, you end up choosing what you think is the best option to increase the odds of survival. That is what Addison had decided to do in her situation. She had the time to rethink how she will approach her plan when she was back at the roof before Mark had interrupted her. She has to make the most reasonable choice.

"Hi, Derek!" Addison greeted him after he greeted her first when he walked into the locker room. She realized that she had sparked the conversation between her and Derek when he acknowledged him.

"I heard that you were back in Seattle," Derek told her honestly. "I was going to look for you after I drop off something in my locker," Derek added. He did hear the conversation from his staff members about Addison being back in Seattle.

Addison was hesitant at first, but she finally said, "Yeah, I am, but don't worry. I'll be out of your way as soon as I get an 'okay' from the board."

Derek crunched his eyebrows, not wanting to believe what Addison just said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Are you leaving?" Derek said, gentler than what Addison had anticipated.

"Yeah Derek, I am. Theirs is nothing left for me here, and you'll finally get what you have been wanting for a while now. I'll be gone from your life, and you can finally be happy with Meredith and your child." Addison told him. And she looked down, now looking at her stomach. She had been wanting to have a decent talk with Derek for a while now. And she really wanted to tell him, but as soon as she walked closer to him, she knew that she shouldn't go through her plan, as she saw something that reminded her that she shouldn't tell Derek about her baby.

Derek just smiled at first thinking, 'only if you knew about how I feel.' Derek didn't want to stop Addison's chance for a new life and to move on from the past, so he said,"Well, I guess I can't stop you, can I?" he confessed. He really didn't want Addison to leave. But who was he but her mere ex-husband who slept with another woman when she was just a few yards away from him? 'Bastard' He felt shameful recalling the memory of his indiscretion.

Addison saw what she had been suspected as something important to Derek, ever since he watched him grabbed it from his coat earlier that day. "May I?" she asked pointing at what Derek has been holding in his hand since he walked in the locker room.

He never thought that Addison would be in there when he decided to go tape the sonogram of his baby behind the door of his locker. He thought that it would be a nice motivation for him to have it there as he tries his best to work things out with his baby's mother. So, when Addison just asked to look at the sonogram of his baby he was taken aback by why she would even want to see it. He thought 'I can't. If I show this to her, she might think that I'm trying to rub it her face.'

"Addison, it's just a sonogram. Why..." Derek never finished what he wanted to say to her as he was interrupted by Addison.

"I'm a double board-certified OB/GYN and also specializes in maternal/fetal medicine and surgery, Derek. Also, may I remind you that I was your baby's first doctor." She told him with an eyebrow raised. "I just want to know how my patient is doing that's all, but I understand if you don't want to show it to me." She finished pressing her lips together as an attempt for her to stop talking, as she tends to ramble during uncomfortable situations. 'Can't this get any more awkward?' she thought and tried to arrange her posture not wanting to show signs of weakness, especially to Derek.

"Addie, I really don't think that it's a good idea. Especially with happened with us and this baby, I… I..." Derek doesn't even know how to finish his sentence, feeling all the guilt on how his baby came to life.

"Derek… it's okay. I swear, well I guess what I was just going to say is…" Addison started. 'Gosh Addison finish this already'. She told herself. Seeing that her plan was ruined, she just needs to end her conversation with Derek on a good note, so she can finally move on. And so, she did. "I know that what happened between the two of us is part of the past now. And you're about to start your new life." She said and smiled at Derek. "Anyway, I want to wish you the best. And I really want you to be happy. Also, I know that you're going to be a great dad. I know how much you want to be one. And you finally got your chance. So, congratulations again. And I am really happy for you and Meredith. Like I always said, all children are created as a gift for a lifetime of happiness." Addison told Derek.

Derek is now looking at the sonogram and smiled, he is happy about his baby, but he's devastated with how it ended between him and Addison. Little did Addison know that at that moment he had wished for his baby to be Addison's.

Addison noticed the look of sadness on his face. And she wasn't sure why. She avoided reading too much into it, thinking that Derek is probably just feeling guilty for what he did. Being Addison, she always hated seeing Derek upset, and all of a sudden, she placed her right hand on the side of his face cupping his cheek and making him look straight at her.

"Hey, I'm not sure why you're upset, but I know for sure that you shouldn't be. You should be happy Derek. And I know that look on your face. You have that face on when you're feeling guilty. And I don't want you to. Like I said, you should be happy." She smiled at Derek. Now feeling tears pooling in her eyes. She felt Derek lean into her hand before he looked up to face her.

With Addison being there with him, he felt content than when Addison was away. Derek wanted to tell her: "No. Please don't go, give me another chance, I have forgiven you for Mark, I know it wasn't just your fault and I will try and forgive him eventually too, and that I still love you."

But instead, he said, "I want for you to be happy as well. I hope you find the happiness and the guy that you deserve. Someone that wouldn't hurt you and would appreciate you more than I ever did." He told her as sincere as Addison have seen him before their marriage started to fall apart, he hasn't shown his vulnerable side to Addison again until now.

With that, neither dared to speak another word, not wanting to say the wrong thing. With Addison's hand still on Derek's cheek, both are smiling at each other. Feeling comfort in each other's presence. However, just like everything that has been going on with Addison's day, their moment got interrupted when the interns walked into the locker room, and of course, Meredith is one of them.

Addison immediately removed her hand from Derek's face and wiped away the tear that she wasn't able to hold anymore. She saw that as a cue for her to finally leave. But before she left. She looked at Derek one last time to say, "I'm really sorry," and walked past the interns and exited the room once and for all.

Derek was puzzled by Addison's apology. However, as Meredith walked towards him and smiling at him, he brushed his thought away thinking that maybe she was just apologizing for what happened with their marriage. He wasn't aware that, her apology was meant for something else, or more like 'someone else.'

After she left the locker room, Addison walked out from Seattle Grace Hospital, called a cab and never dared to looked back again, as she heads towards her hotel room.

(In Addison's Hotel Room)

Walking through the door of her hotel room. She looked around for a while. She smiled and said, "Thanks for being my temporary shelter here in Seattle, I surely won't miss you." She laughed a little and removed the coat that she had been wearing for the whole day, thankful that it hid her pregnancy from the whole hospital. As she placed her coat on the couch, she started walking towards the bathroom and sat on the counter next to the sink. She also placed both her hands on her stomach. "It will be for the best, sweetheart." She told her baby, but really, she thinks that she meant to say that for herself. To tell herself that she was doing what she thinks is best for all of them. Although she knows that Derek and her child deserves to know each other, she also understands why it wasn't the right time. 'Everything happens for a reason.' She thought. She just wished that she knows the reason. For why she's pregnant now and for why Meredith got pregnant at the same time as her.

She's been on the counter for about half an hour now, just thinking about everything that happened on her day, her plan that was never put into action, her past, and what might happen in her future. She was so deep in her thoughts when she heard her phone rings. She left the bathroom and grabbed her phone from her purse.

"Hello…" Addison said. "Hey, sorry it has been a very... long day." She paused and said. "No. I didn't tell him." With that, she continued her conversation when she walked to the balcony.

"I'm just waiting for Richard's call, which should be any time now," she said. "And If everything goes well hopefully, then I should be able to go back to New York tomorrow," Addison said, really hoping that nothing would go wrong with her resignation. "Alright, I'll see you soon bye." Ending her phone call, she can see the sun setting as well. Once the sun set, and she walked back into her room and waited for Richard to call her.