Hey guys! I hope you like the chapter. This chapter catches up with very beginning of the story.
*End of last chapter*
"But I love you Tris," I burst out before even thinking about what I was saying.
She looks at me with so much anger now.
"Don't! Don't you dare tell me that right now Four. I can't believe you! We have only been dating a few weeks… And," she paused then says coldly, "Well I don't love you."
Then she walks out.
TPOV
(Beginning of the story)
"STOP, JUST STOP," he says grabbing my elbow as I try walking away, "I know you feel this too. I'm not the only one with these feelings and we both know it. Don't hold back your feelings anymore… Please!"
"I…I…" I turn my head away from him, "I can't do this. I'm sorry." I feel his hand drop from my elbow in defeat. I look back at him… at the man who opened his heart to me and that has helped me get through one of the most difficult things that has ever happened to me… and know in a way he is right. I do feel the same way as him. I can't though. I don't think my heart can take it if…
He lifts his eyes to find mine starring back at him. I can see the sadness in his eyes as I start backing away from him. I can't take looking into those eyes any longer. I turn quickly and walk toward the door. I get there quick and as I turn the knob I hear, "Tris… Please don't leave."
Don't look back. Don't look back…
I don't listen to the voice in my head and look back. He is watching me, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. As I take a step out of the door, I watch his head fall.
As I walk through the yard to my car I am at a loss. I am numb. I get in my car and just drove. I drive through the city and still feel numb.
How could he not tell me yet? We were finally both in a good place. What just happened!?
I don't know how long I have been driving for. I know I have heard my phone go off multiple times though.
I pull into the parking lot of my old school and grab my phone from the passenger seat. I have multiple missed calls and texts from Chris, Four, Uriah, Marlene, and Shauna.
Christina- Answer my call please… Four just told us.
Four- Tris… I'm so sorry. Please answer the phone.
Christina- Where are you? I am worried.
Christina-Did you go home? I'm going to your house.
Christina- I let myself in since you aren't home. I'll be here when you get here.
Uriah- Call one of us Tris… Please
Marlene- Are you ok?
Shauna- Chris, Uriah & Four are freaking out since you aren't answering. They are about to start a search party.
Uriah- Tris if you don't answer I am about to come look for you.
Uriah- I mean it.
Four- Tris even if you don't want to talk to me please text or call your friends. They… I mean WE are worried about you.
My old high school isn't far from my house. I see Christina's car in my driveway.
"No she isn't here… I know calm down Uri… She probably just needed a little time for herself…," I hear as I walk through the door.
She hears me put my keys down and turns quickly.
"Uri, tell everyone she's home," Chris tells him, "Yes. I will tell her. Ok Uri!" she throws her phone on the couch then looks back up to me.
"Are you ok?" she asks.
Whatever numbness I felt earlier is now gone. I'm flooded with emotion and can't seem to get any words out.
"Oh Tris," she says walking over to me and giving me a hug.
"Not again…," I finally mumble out, "I don't think I can handle another deployment… I'm not strong enough!"
"First of all…" she pulls away and looks me right in my eyes, "You are one of the STRONGEST people I now. Don't ever doubt yourself. You do what you need to do though. No one can make this decision for you though."
"I know… So what did Uri want you to tell me?" I ask.
"Oh he said firstly that if you need him or need to talk, you have his number…Day or night. Then," she rolls her eyes a bit and says, "He said if you go AWOL again like that and not answer calls or texts it's not going to be good. Oh and he loves you."
We both giggle a little.
"Will you stay over tonight? We can just ride to the bakery together in the morning. I know I have some of your clothes here," I tell her.
"Of course! Let me text Will and let him know I'm struggling here," she tells me.
I text everyone back letting them know I am home and sorry for not answering… Well everyone except Four. I just can't… He's leaving in a week.
Christina decided that she wanted to do my nails and toe nails. We had like a little spa sleepover.
TPOV
March 15th
The morning came extremely too early. Chris and I were up late talking about everything EXCEPT Four. I'm still processing.
I take a quick shower then go make sure Christina is awake.
She is making us coffee.
"I see you found some of your clothes," I say motioning towards her outfit she's wearing.
"Yea, I went through your closet while you were in the shower," she says grabbing two cups down.
"Thanks," I tell her then look at the clock, "Crap I need to hurry."
I run back upstairs to my room and throw some clothes on. I grab my shoes and sit on my bed to put them on. As I am putting them on I hear my phone beep. I grab it and see Four's name.
I sigh and open the text message.
Four- Good morning beautiful. I don't know if I am aloud to say that to you anymore but I can't imagine not saying it. I don't want us to stop. I hope you will see me before I leave… Please don't hate me. You are the most important person to me. I can never take back the fact that I didn't tell you before. I hope that one say you can forgive me. I can't see my life without you in it Tris. I don't want to. I also know that you might not want to hear this right now… I do love you! So much!
I finish reading the text as Christina walks in.
"Ready to go?" she asks.
"Yea…," I sigh as I get up. She has a look on her face so I just hand her my phone.
"What are you going to do?" she asks then hands my phone back.
"I don't know yet…," I reply.
"I'm here for you. You know that if you need to talk or not talk…," Chris tells me.
"You're the best," I tell her.
"You know it," she says then dances her way out of my room.
…
As I am making a batch of dauntless cupcakes, Ally walks back to let me know a guy is here to place a cake order.
I wash up and walk to the front.
"Hey how are you," I say as I walk up.
"Great… Nervous… Excited… All of the above," he rambles off.
"Well how can I help you?" I ask.
"I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I was hoping you could make a cake for me," he explains.
"Of course. Do you have an idea in mind of what you would like?" I open my notebook.
"Yes. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. We are going to order dessert… I was thinking a small tiffany's ring box cake with the ring in it, then, after we will walk to the other side of the restaurant to a private room where all of our family and friends are waiting. Like an engagement party. She is really into this country rustic thing right now, so a cake that theme would be great. If there is a way to incorporate out initials A+D with a heart around them like they are carved in a tree that would be perfect. On out 3rd date we carved out initials in a tree and it's been special for us," he says.
I write down what he wants then draw up a rough sketch of what I have in mind.
"Yes! Just like that would be perfect," he says excitedly.
"Ok. When are you needing this and do we need to deliver?" I ask.
"Friday night… I know it's only a couple of days… Would that be ok? And please deliver it to Brass. Everyone is getting there around 7:00. We will already be there," he tells me.
"Umm…," I look at my calendar at who could deliver the cake and realize I'm the only one available, "Yes we could do this. I can make it work. I will deliver it personally."
"Thank you so much," he says excitedly.
I walk back to the back and sit the notebook on the counter. Chris walks over and reads the new order.
"Friday!" she looks at me, "How are you possibly going to have time to do this with all of the orders you have already?"
"Looks like I will be working late," I tell her and shrug.
"Oh… I get it now," she says.
"Get what?" I ask.
"You are getting yourself as busy as possible to avoid the whole Four situation… You are throwing yourself in so much work that will keep you busy until he leaves… Are you really not going to see him before he leaves?" she asks.
"I don't know yet… I don't want to talk about it right now," I tell her then walk to my office.
…..
The next couple of days are nothing but working at the bakery then going home to sleep a couple of hours…Even though I haven't been sleeping very well. It feels weird with Four not in the bed beside me. It feels weird knowing he is leaving.
It's Friday, so today I have to deliver the cakes to the restaurant.
Realizing I would rather not try to lead this cake in the vehicle and deliver it myself I text Uri.
Tris- Hey could you do me a HUGE favor?
Uri- Sure. What's up?
Tris- I have to deliver a cake tonight… Think you could help? Chris and Will went to his parents for dinner.
Uri- Time and place
Tris- I love you! (: Meet me at the bakery at 6.
I quickly shower and get dressed. Aiden begged me to stay a bit after delivering. He said she would probably start wanting to plan it ASAP. I finally agreed.
Realizing its 5:30 I rush to leave to get to the bakery.
I get everything ready and walk to my office. I quickly grab my white coat so when I set the cake up I don't get stuff all over my outfit. I hear the door open. Uri must be here.
I walk out of my office towards the front but I stop short.
Uri isn't the person that walked in… It was Four.
"Umm…," I try getting my words together, "What are you doing here?"
I haven't seen or talked to him since he told me that he was leaving.
I look at his face. It looks sad…restless…All I want to do is go comfort him but I can't.
"Uhh, Uri said you asked for help delivering something and he got called out," he states, "I was there and offered to help."
"I can just get it done myself," I say quickly. I am cursing Uri in my head. How could he not give me a heads up?
"Don't be like that. You need help, let me help you," he begs.
I sigh, "Fine. Let's get this over with."
I let him know what to do and where we were going.
We reach Brass at 6:30. I try to spot Aiden before going to the privat4e room but I wasn't able to. We quickly get to setting up. After the cake is set up and the other is being delivered, Four and I offer to help set everything else up.
It looks beautiful in here. All of their family and friends start arriving.
Four and I stand back in the corner quietly. I catch him out of the corner of my eye look at me a few times. I keep my eyes on the door.
About 5 minutes later in walks Aiden and Danni. She is shocked. She starts crying and hugging Aiden.
You can see the love between them is enormous. It feels the whole room. Everything calms down and Aiden starts talking.
He talks about Danni and the person she is. He talks about how their love can move mountains and how lucky he is to have her. He talks about how she is a fireball he can barely handle sometimes but that he would never let go no matter what. The more he talks about the love he has for her, the more tears fill my eyes. I try to keep them at bay but some disobedient tears fall down my cheeks.
Before I realize what is happening Four is wiping the tears from my face.
I finally look up at him…In those perfect blue eyes of his… I can't hold back. I'm his. I know this and he probably does too.
We both just stay there looking from my gray eyes to his blue…
"I don't want you to go," I whisper.
He pulls me into an embrace and I just want to stay.
"I will come back to you Tris! I promise," he tells me.
"How can you be so sure…Jamie didn't come back," I say into him.
He pulls away and holds both sides of my face and says, "Tris, you don't understand. I will move mountains to get back to you. I don't care what it takes… I love you Tris!"
"I love you too Four," I tell him then we kiss.
When we pull away we realize it's really quiet. I turn towards the party that was just crying for the newly engaged couple, that now has tears in their eyes for us. Does our love look as Aiden and Danni's? I can only hope so.
I grab Four's hand and we make our way to Aiden.
"Congratulations," I tell them, "I know you wanted to talk wedding cakes…but he leaves on deployment Sunday… Can we talk later?"
"Of course," they both say and both tell Four good luck.
As we get back to the vehicle Four stops me and grabs the side of my face. He kissed me with so much force and passion. I could stand here and kiss him forever.
"Let's get home," I tell him.
He grabs the keys from me and we head towards my house. We barely get into the house good before we are kissing again. It's like we4 are trying to get enough in before he leaves. It's getting steamy.
We are soon interrupted by my phone. I walk to my purse and grab it out.
Uriah's name shows up.
"Hey Uri," I answer
"So you don't sound like you are going to kill me since I didn't make it to help you and sent Four in my place. Does that mean everything went well? Did you two even talk?" he asks.
I look over at Four and smile, "Yes everything went perfect."
Four motions that he is going upstairs but I can't say anything to him because Uri won't shut up.
"So the two of you are good now? Christina is here with Will… She wants to know too," he says.
"Yes, we are good. I will talk to you two later…ok," I say.
"Ok. Ok… Talk to you tomorrow," he says.
I swear sometimes he is worse than a girl when it comes to gossiping.
We hang up and I walk upstairs looking for Four. I check in his room and I don't see him but I do hear the shower.
As I go to walk out of his room something in me makes me change that decision. I turn around quickly and walk to the bathroom before I change my mind. I quickly strip sown and step in the shower. Fours back is to me. He is letting the water hit the front of his body. He has his eyes closed and looks as if he is in deep thought. I've seen him naked by accident before but wow… He is…His body… Just wow. I have no words.
Before I can think straight he turns around and opens his eyes. He has a shocked look on his face then smiles at me.
"Hey," I say a little shy like then bite my lip.
He steps towards me not losing eye contact from me.
He leans down and kisses me softly.
"I know we said we wanted to take things slow before but…," I say then bite my lip again.
"Are you sure," he asks.
I just nod my head and that is all it takes. He pulls me into him and kisses me hard…Like he will never get the chance to again. His hands start roaming my body. He backs me up against the shower wall as he still kisses me. I feel his hand cup my breast and it sends chills down my body. He soon starts kissing down my neck to my breast. Soon he is stroking my nipple with his tongue. I moan out.
He turns around and shuts off the water then steps out. He holds out his hand for me and I take it. I follow him to the bed. We are both still soaked but we don't care. I want him as much as he wants me.
We kiss again before he lays me on the bed and kisses from my neck to my breast again.
"I need you Four," I moan out, "I need you inside of me."
He looks up at me with pure love in his eyes.
"Are you sure," he asks me again
"Four, I need you," I tell him.
He kisses me slowly back up to my lips and is about to enter me then stops.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Do you have a condom?" he asks.
"Shit! No I don't," I tell him.
"Are you on birth control? I've never seen you take any… So I'm not sure," he replies.
"No," I groan.
We sit there for a second and my mind can't think of anything else.
"I need you Four. You can pull out… Just this once right?" I almost beg.
He waits a minute while he things it over and it doesn't take long.
He takes his time as he enters me. We both rock back and forth getting ourselves in a rhythm.
I can't help but moan out. This moment is amazing. He is amazing.
"Tris," he moans out as he starts thrusting harder into me.
Just hearing him moan out my name almost does it for me. I feel my release coming and it feels mind blowing.
"Oh Four," I moan as it hits me hard. I think it starts to send him over the edge as well because I soon feel him pull out of me.
I don't want to move. I'm coming sown from my release a he gets in bed beside me.
"That was amazing," he said, "I love you Tris."
"I love you too Four," I tell him and we are soon both asleep.
March 20th
I wake to an empty cold bed. It's not even my bed. Last night soon pops in my head and I blush.
I get out of bed and run to my room to grab my robe. I go back to Four's room to find my phone. I find it in the bathroom on the counter.
As I am walking downstairs the smell of food cooking hits me.
Four is in the kitchen, in just basketball shorts, cooking pancakes.
"Smells great," I tell him as I walk behind him and wrap my arms around him, "Can I help?"
He turns and kisses my forehead before flipping the pancake, "I was going to make eggs."
"I'll make them," I tell him and get to work.
We cook in silence.
He puts the plates on the table as I am finishing up the eggs.
Just after I set the hot pan down he walks up to me and kisses me.
"Good morning beautiful," he tells me.
"Good morning yourself," I stand on my tip toes and kiss his lips back, "I don't think hearing you say that will ever get old."
"So," Four says as we both sit down, "Do you have any plans today?"
"Not really," I say taking a bite.
"Well they guys are throwing me this little party…More like a get together/going away party since I am leaving tomorrow. Would you want to come with me?" he asks.
"Of course, I forgot Chris told me about it but at the time… Well you know we weren't talking and I wasn't sure if and when I was going to see you before you left," I say.
"You mean you weren't," he corrects me.
"What?" I ask.
"You weren't talking to me. I would have talked to you anytime," he says.
"We still do need to talk… About last night…About me leaving…About everything," he says.
"Yea, I know," I tell him.
"So, about last night? What does it all mean?" he asks.
"I hope it means we are back together. I have been pretty miserable without you," I confess.
"Are you sure? Because before you didn't think you could be with me because I am leaving… I love you and want to be with you but it is totally up to you. It wasn't fair of me to just assume you would be," he says.
"I do Four. I can't not be with you. I think I was just scared because you mean more to me than any other person in my life. You are everything I need. Everything I want. Even if that means I have to wait while you are deployed…Knowing that there is a possibility that you might not come back. I choose you. I choose to take that chance… For us," I tell him.
I feel the tears in my eyes but will them away. I love this man and would do anything for him.
"I'm coming back to you Tris. No matter what," he says grabbing my hand.
…..
The girls and I are making a quick trip to the store to grab a few extra things. They are all happy that Four and I have made up. They have been rooting for us since the beginning.
We split up to get our shopping finished quicker. Christina and I went one way while Shauna and Marlene went the other. As Christina and I grab everything on our list we head towards checkout.
"Oh wait! I forgot something," I say as I turn the cart around.
"What did you forget?" she asks quickly catching up.
I'm silent the whole way to the aisle I'm looking for.
As we reach the item I forgot Christina's eyes grow bigger.
"No way," she says shocked.
I shake my head yes.
"When," she squeals.
"Last night! It kind of happened and neither of us had a condom," I tell her.
"Wait… You're not on birth control either," she says.
"I know. He pulled out," I cover my face.
"Tris!" Christina says.
"That's why I'm grabbing these," I tell her.
She nods then says, "So how was it? How was he? Is he big?"
"Christina," I slap her on the arm, "I would never ask you how big Will is!"
"Well… Will is very well endowed," she confesses.
"I didn't mean I wanted to know that! It was amazing. He was amazing!" I tell her.
"It's about time," she says as she loops her arm through mine, "I'm so happy for you two."
The party is great. Everyone enjoyed themselves…Especially Four. He talked about how this deployment would be different. He talked about how he now had a family to come home too. He now had a girl waiting for him to return.
Everyone said their goodbyes and told him to come back home safe.
It's late when we get back to my place. On the drive there I couldn't help let my mind go to tomorrow. I'm not ready.
I'm quiet as we walk in the house and Four can tell.
"Is everything ok?" he asks me as I set my purse down.
"Yea," I lie and he sees right through it.
"Tris look at me," he says.
I turn towards him and I can't hide the tears that are now streaming down my cheeks.
"I don't want you to leave," I sniff out, "Im not ready to tell you goodbye."
He pulls me into an embrace and strokes my hair.
"We won't say goodbye then," he tells me, "It will be see you later or something."
"I'm not ready for that either," I confess, "but I know you have to go."
"I'll be back before you know it," he tells me.
"That isn't soon enough," I tell him.
We stand there hugging each other for what seems like hours.
"Let's go to bed," he finally whispers to me and grabs my hand.
I follow him to my bed. I sit down and watch him as he bends down to grab my boot. He slides both of my boots off then my socks. I haven't taken my eyes off of him. He stands and slides his shoes off as well. He grabs my hands to help me stand before sliding my jacket off of my shoulders. He tosses it in the chair and walks behind me. Slowly his hands find the hem of my shirt and starts sliding it up. I raise my arms up letting him take it off. He kisses the top of my shoulder as he pulls on of my bra straps down. My head automatically tilts back as I feel his lips on my skin. I spin around to face him. I look at his beautiful blue eyes, perfect lips…Him! I look at the man I have fallen head over heels for. The man that will be leaving tomorrow… I watch as he brings his hand up to my face and I lean into it. His touch is everything. He kisses me then in one swift move he has me lying on the bed.
"Make love to me Four," I tell him and that's all it takes.
…..
"What am I going to do for 6 months without you?" I hug Four as we stand in the airport.
"You are going to run your bakery and help Christina plan a wedding and so many more things. The helping Christina part will probably take up most of your time," he jokes, "Plus we will talk and email all the time."
"I'm just going to miss you," I tell him.
"I'm going to miss you too!" he tells me, "I have to go now though. I love you Tris Prior."
"I love you, too, Tobias Eaton," I tell him.
He leans down and kisses me like he never will again.
"See you later beautiful," he says.
"Promise?" I ask.
"I promise," he says.
Then I watch as the person I love most walks away. When I can't see him anymore I turn and walk out of the airport. I walk to my vehicle and once I'm inside I can't help it… I lose it.
A few seconds later I hear a tap on my window. I look up and see Four standing there.
I jump out of the car a hug him tight.
"What are you doing?" I ask
"I couldn't leave without one more kiss," he says and kisses me long and hard.
We break away after a few minutes.
"I have to go now, but I will come back to you Tris," he tells me.
"You better," I tell him.
"I'll call you as soon as I can," he tells me.
"Ok," I reply.
He kisses me then turns quickly and runs back in the airport.
Well how was it? I am nervous. This is the first lemon of the story… I personally don't think I write the best lemons but I did my best! Let me know what you think!