Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and/or Inuyasha.
The loud crash of a hallway stand and broken glass shook everyone out of their stupor. Souta was the fastest out of all of them with Yusuke and Kuwabara just inches away from his heels. Just as Asako jumped out of seat she heard the heart wrenching cries of her eldest child. "Kagome!" She yelled.
Chapter Eight
It was by His Hands
"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way." ~ Unknown.
Asako stared wide eyed at the sight in front of her. Never in all her years had she ever seen her eldest child in so much pain. Kagome sat next to the fallen hallway stand with broken picture frames to the side of her. Her little girl's back was pressed against the wall, knees drawn up under her chin, with shaking hands clutching her sides. Mrs. Higurashi could only compare it to when her little girl finally understood that her father was never coming back home.
'By Kami, Kagome. What has happened to you? What's happening to you?' Asako asked herself.
Kagome curled into herself rocking side to side. She didn't even notice when familiar warmth surrounded her taking her from her home to a landscape. The sullen voice of Midoriko came from behind her. The unexpected voice drew her closed eyes open, "It seems you have discovered the small print of Kami's contract."
Two different set of tired eyes met as the priestesses looked upon each other. "What do you mean small print?" Kagome asked.
She was unreachable. The moment she stopped rocking a transparent shield had encased her delicate form. To make matters worse the damnable thing wouldn't even allow their mother to touch Kagome. His sister's eyes remained wide open stuck in an expression of silent pain as the loud pelting of her tears filled the room.
In a sudden show of emotion, Souta's right fist collided with the nearest wall next to him. His rather large fist came a mere two inches away from a picture of the family and Inuyasha. "Damn him." He hissed. Though the whole story may not have been told, his sister made it clear that Inuyasha had caused more damage than he was worth.
A dread filled sigh left Midoriko's lips as she tried to explain Kagome's situation, "Kami will not make another, nor test another, for this job. Because of that he has made your options limited. You have been left with two paths; one is you become his ambassador or the other is you face purgatory."
"You mean he'll strip me from my body and discard me like trash?" Kagome questioned.
"No, Kagome. You don't have a body. You're not exactly dead, but you're not alive either. The form you see as yourself is not real. Though you may think you feel every sensation, hear your heartbeat, and suck in breath, it's all an intricate illusion the subconscious of your soul has created." Midoriko stopped to let the young priestess understand everything.
"My tears?" Kagome managed to mumble out her question.
Midoriko looked to the ground as she was forced to answer the young woman. "Call it incentive for the outside world. I think Kami blessed you with them to encourage those around you to take a protective stand. Power has always beckoned defensive actions."
"Your telling me-" Her mouth open and closed struggling to get the next few words to cross her lips. "I'm basically an image, a mere image." The words were accompanied with tears coursing down her face. Whatever confidence had been gained went flushed down into a drain of despair. "A entity that no one would want unless I could give them something." She muttered.
The voices of her past travel mates came unwelcomed, "All she was…"
"I'm not dead. I'm not alive. I'm not even sure I'm a complete soul." Heavy breathing filled the air. She bowed her head watching the mocking rise and fall of her chest. "I'm…I'm.."
The taunting voices of the past echoed in her ears, "She was just a…"
Taking in deep shuddering breaths did nothing for her as she concentrated on the "feeling" of filling her lungs with air.
"What am I?" Kagome asked. "Am I really just an unwanted creation by Kami? Can I be that bad of a mistake that, Kami has put me into a category of my own!" She screamed in hysterics.
At the brink of her next breakdown a strong familiar pull tugged at her form. Midoriko's motherly embrace did nothing to calm her speeding heart. "I don't have a heart beat." Kagome said struggling to push herself away from the elder priestess.
Kagome stared at Midoriko with mixed emotions in her eyes. "I can't handle this." She whispered. "I don't want to handle this."
Midoriko gazed at the young woman. The aged priestess caught sight of the growing panic and began to worry. Memories flooded Kagome's mind of the past and the guardian duties of the jewel.
In the back of her soul a voice echoed in the same cold tone Kikyou would use to humiliate her, "She's weak. Pathetic. Disgrace."
"You can't make me! I refuse! NO!" Kagome's eyes were wild with horror. She looked around looking for an escape root, but everything was caving in. The once tranquil lake and waterfall were collapsing into midnight shadows. The green grass beneath her feet morphed to black tar. "I can't move. I can't move!" A renewed wave of fear crashed upon her. The dry air felt like she was breathing in thin sharp needles. Her feet struggled under the tar trying to kick it off. Even with all that going on Midoriko's grip still held her firmly.
Yusuke looked over the distraught family with sympathetic eyes. It was obvious that the young woman meant worlds to them. Seeing her after so long, nothing of how she used to be, and broken even within death had nearly crushed them. 'Her little brother still has faith in her. Wonder what she was like before all this?' He thought.
Kuwabara nudged him with his elbow catching his attention, "Hey Urameshi, don't you think we should be doing something more to help the girl?"
Hiei's unusually loud snort caught their attention. "What do you suppose we do, moron? That cocoon is rejecting mere mortals. What makes you think youkai will pass through a miko's shield?" He said.
"Yes, it would be best to wait. Being this close to her all ready irritates my skin." Kurama added.
Souta gritted his teeth. He was torn between smashing the picture next to him and going to his mother's side. His voice cracked as he hissed out, "Some guards you are. Let me guess, you detectives have a ten percent success rate."
"They're detectives Souta-san not miracles workers. Kagome-san just needs…" Botan was short on explanations. 'Well, what does she really need? What is it that's holding her back?' She thought. Her gaze looked to the woman in question. She considered all the things she observed mankind needed to survive.
Rinnnnggg! Rinnng!
Souta looked to his mother as she silently left her spot on the floor to answer the phone. Ji-chan went with her probably to exchange a few encouraging words. The room went into an uneasy silence just before another phone went off.
"I wanna make love in this club. In this club…" (1)Koenma kept his eyes to the floor as he pulled out his cell phone. "What is it, George?" The detectives all raised an eyebrow at the young ruler as he quickly ended the call. After turning off his phone he slid the cursed device back in his pocket.
"I won't even say it." Yusuke spat out.
Once again the room was silent just as the two elder Higurashi's came back into the room. Everyone's thoughts centered on the young woman that seemed unreachable.
The countless tears she shed began to feel like glass cutting into her flesh. Hoarse sobs broke Kagome's voice, "Were you laughing at me this whole time? Is my pain that amusing that you would fill me with false hope! Kami hated my existence, that's why you were going to give me that fucking jewel!" Her voice grew louder as her hysteria gripped her. She broke free after a violent shove as Midoriko's arms went slack around her.
She couldn't see Midoriko through the thick darkness, however the legendary priestess felt her elder's next move.
SLAP!
A hard slap crossed Kagome's face. If the pain hadn't gotten to her the sound would have surely reached her. Kagome cradled her left cheek watching as the black screen that had threatened to consume her was quickly shattered. Midoriko's angry form stood just a foot away.
"Shut up!" Midoriko screamed. "You're wanted damn it! You're needed! You're the damn chosen one!" All mannerisms Midoriko had acquired through out the years were discarded as her emotions got the better of her. The elder priestess grabbed at Kagome's shirt forcing her to stand a mere inch away. Midoriko closed her eyes summoning her own nature made crown. Dried flaking flowers came to rest on her head. Shame filled tears coursed down Midoriko's flushed cheeks.
"You see it." She whispered. "I'll tell you what it means. Yellow carnations are a way for Kami to say, "You have disappointed me." Purple hyacinth are for my numerous tries to get back into his good standings. These flakes of pine I pray they stand for hope. All these new flowers are braided into this dead stock crown.
"Looking at it now, one would find it hard to believe that it used to be beautiful and lively, envied by all holy figures, and my pride and joy." Midoriko stopped herself to watch as another flower fell from her crown. "Tiger lilies, orchids, and stock crown so healthy only Kami could have tended to them. It was a sign of just how much he favored me; but, as soon as the jewel was created my crown withered and died. Over time these flowers came to blossom.
"I couldn't understand why Kami sent me to fight those demons all those centuries ago, but it all made sense when I met you. In fact, it was on the day of your birth I saw the first pine flake appear." Midoriko glanced up into Kagome's soft eyes.
"He was testing me. In all my selfishness, I forgot who would come to my rescue. Who would give me all the power I needed to defeat my opponents. Kami was so ashamed by my actions that he cursed me. Kikyou made the same foolish mistake. Kami listened to her prayers and sent her Inuyasha, but she let the very gift Kami blessed her with be her down fall. If Kikyou had listened to her heart, to Kami's holy powers that ran through her, she would have known Inuyasha was not her slayer. She chooses to let her selfishness rule her. They could have been happy together with the jewel." Midoriko buried her face into the soft material of Kagome's top.
"I hate it when you say that your unwanted, child. You're always looking towards the ones that have truly fallen from his grace. Kikyou hated you because she knew how much Kami loved you. She wanted you to fail as she had failed to be Kami's second. Kami, himself pulled you from your body. He decided that you should not be brought to Spirit World, knowing that the missing parts of your soul would not be able to find you there. He made you a star of HOPE. He made sure Botan found you. No actions involving you are not checked by him, himself, child."
An unsettling silence enveloped Kagome's still form. It encouraged Midoriko to continue on. "Kagome if you are so blind I'll tell you who wants you. Asako Higurashi, Souta Higurashi, Akio Higurashi your Ji-chan, and Botan all need and want you in their lives. The Spirit Detective may not know it now, but nevertheless they need you just as much. I cannot tell how they need you, but over time it will be made painfully obvious."
Kagome's arms wrapped around the distraught woman as she slowly absorbed all her words, "I'm sorry, Kagome. I need you to help me get into Heaven. I don't want to go on existing like this. Legendary Priestess, that mercy knows no bound, that defies time, who Kami so lovingly smiles upon, please find it if not in your heart than in others to become our hope in the darkest of times."
The uncertainty of her charge came to her in cold tidal waves. Kagome wasn't getting it, but Midoriko wasn't about to give up. 'Kami, I beg of you hear this servants request. Let her ability of empathy be unlocked. Allow her to see my words are true.' Her silent prayer did not fall on deaf ears.
"What is this?" Kagome whispered to herself. Her heart, or whatever it was, felt as if it would rip in half. 'This isn't my pain it's different.' The young priestess's eyes clenched shut trying to figure out where this new pain was coming from.
'Allow her to identify the individuals that she means the most to.' Midoriko finished.
Blurry, pink pupil less eyes saw into the outside world trying to make out the figures before her. Kagome could barely identify her brother's tense form. It was surrounded in an altering colored aura. Understanding slowly drifted to her, 'This is his pain.'
Her unblinking gaze looked deeper into his aura. A voice whispered in her ear, "Reach towards it and you shall find out what troubles him." Without thinking, she stretched out her own aura beckoning the chaotic one towards her. The closer it came the easier it was to hear the auras distraught message. 'If I had just gotten Buyo myself, none of this would have happened. I should have been paying more attention to her. I shouldn't have encouraged her to go back.' Souta's voice became horribly loud as her aura came into contact with his. 'This is all my fault!'
Another aura snatched her attention as it touched her. 'Why didn't I stop her? Why didn't she tell me this was happening? Kenji, I have failed our daughter. Forgive me, please.' Pink eyes snapped from her brother to the slumping figure of her mother. She could feel her tears double as she tried to speak against the thoughts.
Kagome's attempts to speak were cut short as every other aura around her touched her. Anger, confusion, a fierce protectiveness were the most prominent within the room.
'Where are all these coming from?' She thought. Scared at the collision of different emotions she franticly looked around her. The so-called detectives were a strong blend of anger, protectiveness, and interest. She had yet to learn their names, so she couldn't name them.
Koenma, the young ruler was the most chaotic. His aura was sharp with confusion and denial. The otherworldly prince's thoughts seemed to stab into her, 'She can't possibly be…'
Through a moment of calm everything was cut short as a comforting aura wrapped itself around her form. It had to be the calmest of them all. Gentle pulses of protectiveness and affection drowned out the chaos of the others. 'It'll be all right. I'll do my best to help you. I won't hurt you, ever.' The feminine voice promised.
She blinked her eyes coming back to stand in the landscape where Midoriko resided. It wasn't until now that what the elder was trying to tell her set in. What the extent it meant for the older to get on her knees before her.
'Am I willing to turn my back on them?' Kagome asked herself. Looking back at everyone she held precious she knew the answer,
"Midoriko." In a surprising show of affection she gently took the face of the other in her hands, bringing it up to look into her caring eyes. "Midoriko, I'll protect everyone. I'll set everyone's hearts and souls at peace. I would be honored if you would train me."
After centuries of depression, Kagome's smile finally reached her eyes. Midoriko felt privileged that she was the first to see it. "No Kagome-sama, it is I who am honored by your acceptance. Thank you." Midoriko breathed out.
Chapter Eight Fin
Disclaimer #2: (1) I don't own Usher's song.
AN: I want to send out a huge thank you for all of you that have reviewed, favorite, or just added me to alerts. It warmed my heart to see that people still enjoyed my story even after my long absence. I believe it was my email notifications of those things that kept me from discontinuing the story. I've actually had to complete redo this chapter. I had three different Chapter Eight in my files. Hopefully chapter nine won't share the same fate. As some of you may know I am in pursuit of a Beta-Reader, so if you think you're up for the task hit me up. Thank you again!