A/N Hey guys! I'm baaaack!
Thank you so so so so much for all of your reviews. Just... You are SO FREAKING AWESOME I LOVE YOU IN A NON SEXUAL WAY!
Anyway... omg guys did you watch the matt smith farewell vid? I did. And it WAS ELEVEN AT NIGHT EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP I CRIED ALL ALONE LIKE THE DOCTOR HAHAHAHAHA *SOB*
Moving on, I hope you all like the chapter! Please forgive my emotions. :)
•••
The echoing boom of thunder shook the panes of the house, lightning networking through the sky a moment later. The rain began to pummel the tiles of the roof with a renewed force, a roar of water in the angry symphony of a thunderstorm.
The harsh sound of the doorbell cut insistently into the deep thrum, shrilly crying out in ring after ring. Clara reluctantly rose from her place on the window seat- where she had been watching the sky and the Doctor and pretending to read- and went to the door, opening it only to have a saturated Doctor spill into the hall, spraying drops of water all over her.
His purple coat dripped a continuous stream of water onto the floor as he spun around and slammed the door shut behind him.
"Phew," he panted. "I'm afraid I may have broken your lawn mower." he added, almost as an afterthought, gesturing with his index finger.
Clara raised an eyebrow at him. This sort of situation appeared to be a daily occurrence with the Doctor here, he would attempt to upgrade some gadget and manage to accidentally configure into something completely different, or just forget some essential detail and reduce the machine to a whirring, blinking mess.
He saw the look on her face and hurriedly added, "No, no, I can fix it! I only missed the waterproof linings for the new engine, I can clear it out and install some... Probably. Most likely."
"Well before you do that, would you mind not dripping all over the carpet?"
The Doctor only just then seemed to realise just how drenched he was, his clothes dark with rain and his hair plastered back to his head. Water was still cascading off him to collect in a puddle on the floor.
"Ah, well, the carpet, yes, but what about my coat? You don't just come across these in the 21st century!"
Clara narrowed her eyes at him. "Just wear some of the spare clothes I gave you from Mr Maitland. You'll survive."
The Doctor looked apalled. "But they're so boring! If only the TARDIS was...Oh, come on, where are you old girl?" the last comment was directed at the ceiling, as if he expected it to materialise above his head.
They waited a few awkward seconds in silence, and the TARDIS did not appear.
"Fine," the Doctor muttered. "Fine." Clara watched him trudge upstairs to his room, leaving behind trail of wet carpet and an air of heaviness and yearning.
Over the past few days, Clara had noticed how the Doctor's demeanor had changed. If she excluded the events of this morning- which she did, she still was not entirely sure what had happened and how she felt about it- she would say that he had become much less lively, occupying himself with the household appliances and constructing random gadgets from the bits and pieces in the garage. He was restless, too, jumping around from room to room and being much more rude and ignorant than he usually was, occasionally snapping at her, after which he would regain his former self for a few moments as he caught the surprised expression on her face. But it never lasted long.
He had lost something, some little spark. The kind of childlike glow that was almost always present in him had dimmed. He wasn't traveling, he wasn't exploring, he wasn't having some wondrous adventure, and he didn't seem to fit. He tried to hide it, definitely, and he regained some of that spark sometimes when Clara was around him, like this morning. But she had been observing him closely, and she knew that he didn't just want the TARDIS back, he needed it. It was like he needed air, he couldn't live long without it.
And Clara could not deny that she, too, wished the TARDIS back. After all those awe-inspiring things the Doctor had showed her, all the stars so many miles and years away, this life felt... Ordinary.
But the central reason for her want for the TARDIS to return was the Doctor himself. He had recovered his spark that morning, but it had not lingered long. And she wanted it back.
She wanted her Doctor, the funny, lively, glowing, yet somehow also dark, deep and powerful Doctor. Not this restless, moping, hopeless Doctor whose thoughts had nothing to occupy themselves with but his own damaged past.
•••
DOCTOR
The Doctor pulled on the boring black suit jacket over his damp shirt and scrutinized himself in the mirror. He looked so normal, so average. He didn't like average. He liked different, unique, eccentric. He didn't do plain black suits or the same routine of living every single day. Which was what happened here.
Besides, the black clashed horribly with his purple waistcoat.
He couldn't deny that he wanted to leave. He wanted the TARDIS back. He would never tell Clara, never, but life here seemed simply... Boring. Too predictable. Nothing unusual. All the same, every hour, every day.
He enjoyed having more time with Clara, though. That was the upside. But even the upside had its own downside- he was getting too close. Again. Hadn't he sworn to himself that there wouldn't be another? That he wouldn't even have another companion? But it was so easy to grow close to Clara. He wouldn't leave her, not now.
It wasn't just that he didn't want to, it was like the TARDIS leaving. He didn't think he could live for long without her.
She had made it clear that she knew his age, his long stretch of life, with all its loves and losses. He had to make her see that she was more than a ghost to him. So much more.
Maybe too much more.
There was something unfolding between them, that was certain. He didn't know how it had happened, but it had.
And, despite all his doubts, all his losses, all those goodbyes, he didn't want it to stop.
•••
Two weeks later, the weather was still shifting between cold and rainy and colder and rainier, Mr Maitland's business trip had been extended for another fortnight, and the Doctor was a dull ghost drifting around the house, taking apart and rebuilding every little gadget again and again and again with none of his previous enthusiasm.
"Doctor," she said to him from the door to the kitchen, where he sat at the table fiddling with her mobile phone. "Are you okay?"
"Hm?" he murmured, eyes not shifting from his work on the phone. "Oh, yeah, I'm okay. I'm always okay."
Clara got the feeling that this was something he said a lot. And that it was always a lie.
"What's happened to you? You're just hovering around the house, not even sleeping, breaking every I own!"
He still didn't look up. "I don't need nearly as much sleep as humans do. Time Lords are very good at surviving on little energy."
"But Time Lords aren't very good at avoiding questions, apparently."
His only answer was a wordless 'mph'.
What had happened to her Doctor? The lively, funny, smiling Doctor who had easily managed to hide his damaged past. With this Doctor, his thousand years seemed to be plaguing him every second, were behind every movement, heavy in his eyes.
Clara had had enough. The TARDIS had sulked for too long. It was time for the old cow to get over herself and come back.
She strode out of the room and out the front door into the yard, looking up into the night sky, riddled with stars.
"Hey, you," she felt just a little silly talking to open air, but knew that the TARDIS had to be nearby, and listening. "Yeah, I'm talking to you. I know you're out there. You've gotta come back right now, you hear? You selfish old cow, if you stay sulking one second longer I swear..."
A figure flickered into being before her, a reflection of herself. The TARDIS interface again.
"Oh not this again." she groaned. That TARDIS really was a little-
"This had better be important. I was exploring the hundred moons of Cataria." the hologram Clara somehow snapped in its dull tone.
"Cataria can wait. Just listen here, you. I know you don't like me, but just listen. Why did you leave? Can't you see the state you've left him in?! Why on earth would you just disappear off into nowhere, leaving him here?" she shot at the hologram.
It said nothing for a moment, then said in a monotone, "You."
If it was possible for a fake projection of herself to look sulky and reluctant, this one was.
"What do you mean 'me'?"
There wasn't a sound for almost an entire minute. The hologram flickered and shimmered, as if contemplating disappearing entirely. Then the TARDIS answered, "He wasn't going to come back. He was just going to float around the universe, doing nothing." she paused for a second. "Where's the fun in that?"
Clara was speechless for a moment. The TARDIS, with all her dislike towards Clara, had left so the Doctor wouldn't leave her.
"It wasn't for you," the TARDIS hologram interjected. "It was for him. He was sulking around in his own self-hate. How could I have any adventure at all with him like that?"
Clara smiled. "He can't live without you. I suppose we'll have to coexist somehow, eh?"
It was a little disconcerting seeing the hologram version of herself give Clara her signature raised-eyebrow expression, saying choppily, "Don't let your ego grow any bigger than it already is. Either I come back and you promise me the Doctor won't mope around after you, or I can go back to the moons of Cataria."
Clara's smile changed into a smirk. "You wouldn't. You can't wait to come back. Well, come on then. He's waiting."
The hologram-Clara-TARDIS shot her a final glare before winking out of existence. Not more than half a minute later, the chirping crickets of the late afternoon were interrupted by the unmistakable whirring of the TARDIS materialising.
Clara laughed out loud as the darkening sky and glow of street lamps around her was replaced by the glowing interior of the control room. She patted the railing fondly, muttering, "Maybe you aren't really as much of an old cow as I thought."
The TARDIS made a little creaking noise, that somehow sounded as indignantly pleased as a creak could.
Clara went over to the doors and opened them to see her own kitchen, where the Doctor was standing with an expression of pure relief, joy and shock, all at the same time.
"Coming, chin boy? I won't wait up for you to stand there gaping." she teased.
He broke out in a pure, glowing smile, coaxing one to mirror it on her own face. She stepped aside as he leapt into the TARDIS, spinning around the console and stroking the console lovingly.
"Clara, Clara, Clara! Oh, this is brilliant!" he exclaimed, and just from his words and his expression and the way he danced around clumsily, she could see that his spark had re-ignited.
Laughs, brought on by the happiness that reflected from the Doctor into her, bubbled from her throat.
Her Doctor was back.