.-.
BLOOD TESTS IN SUNA
.-.
"You sure you sent the message ahead?" Sakura asked again.
"Yes." Deidara nodded. "I watched Naruto write out the note, then sent it with a small clay bird, un."
"I see it! I see it!" Naruto crowed seeing Suna rise from behind a dune.
"Down?" Sakura asked.
Deidara nodded and pointed the bird downwards, angling for the Kage tower. As they got closer they began to make out a person standing on the tower, watching them descend.
"GAARA!" Naruto yelled waving frantically at his friend. "HI GAARA! HOW ARE YOU?!"
"Stop yelling in my ear, un!" Deidara yelped, kicking the blonde.
"Whoops." Naruto got out as he stumbled from the attack and slipped over the edge.
"No! Naruto!" Tobi called out dramatically.
"You…you killed the Devil." Taro said with awe as he stared at Deidara.
"He'll be fine." Sakura dismissed pulling the orange masked man back from leaping after his lover. "That fall won't kill him."
"Gaara! Gaara! Catch me!" Naruto flailed as he fell. "Gaara, Catch Me! Gaara! Gaara!"
The group on the bird watched as Naruto continued to fall. Gaara stood their arms crossed, face as stony as ever.
"Catch me!" Naruto grinned.
Then, just before he hit the roof sand swept up and caught him midair, wrapping around him. He wiped at his brow in relief.
"Thanks Gaara." Naruto grinned as the bird landed behind him on the roof.
The sand didn't let him down though and instead tightened.
"You're hugging me a bit tight Gaara." Naruto laughed.
It tightened again.
"Sorry I didn't visits sooner but you're really hugging too tight!" Naruto choked, wheezing.
"I don't think he's hugging you Naruto." Sakura snorted as the sand finally dropped the blonde.
"What? Of course he was." Naruto brushed her off. "He always greets me like that."
"Or he could be giving into the urge to murder you like everyone you meet, un." Deidara suggested.
Gaara turned his eyes onto them, glaring at them all.
"Oh, yeah! Introductions!" Naruto said slinging an arm over Gaara's shoulders. "That's Sakura, my team-mate as you know. That's her group of pets, Taro, Miki, and Satoshi."
The group of genin made protests but shut up and dived behind Sakura for protection as Gaara's glare turned on them.
"And that's Sasori and Deidara. And finally Tobi!"
"Hey Gaara!" Tobi said cheerfully. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"Hmm." Gaara said.
"Um….Kazekage-sama…"
Everyone turned to the newcomer who was a ninja, his head peeking over the side of the roof nervously.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" The man squeaked under Gaara's glare.
"Hmm."
"Of course! Sorry for bothering you!" The man dived away again.
"You warned them of our arrival?" Sakura asked looking over the edge of the roof and finding some groups of ninja peering back up anxiously.
"Yes." Gaara said in a low growl voice turning his gaze back to Tobi.
"Huh? Oh Tobi." Naruto blushed. "Well…."
"Tobi came to ask you blessings as Naruto's brother-in-Bijuu to continue dating him!" Tobi said bravely.
Gaara glared at Tobi for a long stretch as everyone else just watched.
"Hmm."
"Thanks you Gaara!" Naruto cheered hugging the red head.
"Thank you!" Tobi echoed.
"Can we head inside now?" Sakura asked. "It's sweltering."
"Hmm." Gaara said before turning and leading them inside.
They followed the red head to a comfy office where he sat down and gave Naruto a look.
"Oh yeah, we're here to see if we can borrow your hospital for a while."
"…You do not look injured." Gaara finally said.
"We're not, but look at this." Naruto declared yanking Deidara closer. "Don't we look the same? Like brothers?"
Gaara furrowed his brows as he peered at them.
"Yes." He finally answered.
"I'm doing a blood test." Sakura said. "To figure it out."
"Hey!" Naruto suddenly leapt up. "Sasori, stand beside Gaara!"
Sasori raised a brow but stepped beside the younger teen at Sakura's encouraging look. Everyone stared at them.
"Wow. They look really similar." Sakura said. "And it's not just hair color but their facial features."
"Mine are not real." Sasori said, bored.
"No but you modeled them after your real features." Sakura Said. "Blood test time!"
"One problem with that." Sasori said simply. "I don't have blood."
"Oh." Sakura sighed, disappointed.
"But I supposed I do have a sample from before I changed my body." Sasori finally admitted at her disheartened look.
"Shukaku won't allow anything to harm me." Gaara grunted eyeing Sasori.
"They probably have a sample of your blood somewhere here." Sakura waved off. "Get me access to that please."
Gaara nodded and tapped a button on his desk. A minute later a woman appeared in kunoichi wear.
"Yes Kazekage-sama?" The woman asked nervously, eyeing everyone in the room.
"Lead Haruno-san to the hospital. Allow her access to anything she desires." Gaara said.
"Yes sir!"
"Wow! Thanks Gaara honey." Sakura grinned leaning over and kissing his cheek, ignoring the fact it was sand.
Naruto giggled as Gaara's face turned bright red. He giggled even more as he noticed Sasori clenched his fists and shot murder at the other red head. He giggled again as he watched the three genin follow Sakura like duckling looking for protection. He stopped giggling as Sakura popped back in and told him she'd need his help with the seals and dragged him off to work.
"So..." Deidara said as they left leaving Gaara, Sasori, and Deidara alone. "Cards, un?"
.-.
"Results are in!" Sakura sang slamming the door open.
The only one of the group of three to jump at her entrance was Deidara.
"Geez witch. Don't do that, un." Deidara huffed.
During his brief distraction the two red heads took the opportunity to look at his hand of cards.
"Finish your game quickly." Sakura shooed the blonde's attention from her knowing it would be over quickly.
And because of the obvious cheating, that no one pointed out, Deidara was beaten in seconds.
"Dammit, un." Deidara cursed as he threw his cards down in disgust.
"Ssssshhhh!" Naruto shushed the blonde seeing Sakura ready to talk.
Everyone sat in front of her eagerly, even the three genin who didn't really understand what the big deal was.
"So, I have concluded," Sakura started, glancing around to make sure she had all their attention, "That Deidara and Naruto are…"
Naruto was practically vibrating with excitement and Deidara was feverishly praying.
"Are not related."
"Awwww!" Naruto whined.
"Yes! Thank all that is holy, un!" Deidara yelled happily.
"And Sasori and Gaara!?" Tobi yelled, the excitement making him just as hyper as Naruto.
"Gaara and Sasori are related." Sakura shrugged.
There was a long moment of silence.
"What?" Sasori finally asked deadpanned.
This he had not been expecting. He had went along with the testing for Sakura's entertainment and not expected anything as a result.
"Yeah. Weird huh?" Sakura asked as she flipped through some papers. "I employed some research skills and quickly learned that Sasori is Gaara's uncle."
"What?" Sasori repeated.
"Yeah. Appears your mom was pregnant and was either keeping it as a surprise or something. She gave birth on the battle field that she died on. A medic helped her give birth, to twins, and then took the children to the medical tents when your mother jumped into battle again. Your mother didn't return and the medic stupidly hadn't taken names. When they returned to Suna the babies were adopted, raised happily, blah, blah, blah, then your sister had Gaara's siblings and him. Then your brother, Gaara's mother's brother tried to kill him and Gaara killed him leaving only the three of them your remaining full blooded relatives. Fun huh?"
"Congratulations!" Naruto crowed hugging the stunned Gaara.
"Congratulations!" Tobi copied hugging Gaara from the other side of Naruto.
"Weird, un." Deidara added. "So. Now that that's done, what are we doing, un?"
"We should head back soon." Sakura said tossing her notes on the Kazekage's desk for later.
"Ah! Can't we spend the night?" Naruto asked. "Like a sleepover?"
"We're already treading on Gaara's hospitality." Sakura scolded him. "He's been having to keep his ninja from bothering us and we're setting everyone on edge, especially Sasori."
"You may stay as long as you like." Gaara said suddenly, escaping Naruto and Tobi. "My ninja will obey my orders."
"Really?! You're the best Gaara!" Naruto grinned.
"You are invited to dinner… uncle." Gaara said, "So are you Brother Naruto."
"Whoo!" Naruto cheered. "Can my boyfriend come?"
"Yes."
"And my girlfriend?" Sasori asked pulling Sakura closer.
She just grinned at him.
"Thanks Sasori but I'm sure I would have been allowed to come anyways. You don't have to pretend to like me just to get me in."
Everyone, even Deidara and Gaara, gave Sasori sympathetic glances as Sakura smiled obliviously and Sasori twitched.
"What about us?" Miki spoke up nervously.
"You may bring your pets." Gaara nodded to Sakura.
"And me, un?" Deidara asked hopefully.
Gaara stared at him for a long moment.
"You may bring your idiot uncle." He finally said.
Naruto snickered as Deidara gave an outraged cry.
.-.
"Gaara! How was your….day…" Temari petered off stopping dead as she gazed at everyone crowding their entrance hall.
"It was good." Gaara answered stonily.
"Hey Temari!" Naruto greeted as he skipped past, laden with take-out food which he dropped on the table.
Tobi happily did the same.
"Hey." Sakura smiled a greeting as she slipped her shoes off, her pets following her example.
"Huh? Was that Uzumaki I heard?" Came Kankuro's voice.
The puppet user stepped into the room to freeze just as Temari had done. The siblings stared in dumb shock as Naruto started to chatter at Tobi and Sasori sat at the table, beside Sakura and her pets. Deidara was sulking in another chair and Gaara's sand was setting the table.
"Dinner." Gaara said emotionlessly to his motionless siblings. "Sit."
The two automatically sat down staring wide eyed at the party.
"Um, Gaara." Kankuro squeaked. "Why are there a bunch of S-class Missing-nins, three Iwa Genin, and two thirds of Team Seven sitting at our table?"
"Oh! Hi Kankuro." Naruto greeted.
"Hi Uzumaki." He said automatically.
"Sister, Brother," Gaara said emotionlessly, "Tobi is Brother Naruto's boyfriend. The Genin are Haruno's pets. Sasori is our uncle."
Temari and Kankuro's brains shut down for a moment.
"Just call me Sakura, Gaara." Sakura giggled.
Gaara gave a curt nod.
"That's the most I've heard you say, pretty much ever." Naruto pointed out between bites of noodles.
"Hello Niece and Nephew." Sasori smirked in a bored way as he leaned his head on a hand not bothering to eat as he did not yet need nutrition.
"Uh! Hi." Temari squeaked. "Someone explain!"
"We did a blood test." Sakura said. "His mother gave birth to your mother and uncle on the battlefield where they died. They were adopted and then your mother had you three. Which means he's your closest relative, your uncle."
They gaped at her and Sasori who smirked.
"So the famous Sasori of the Red Sands, S-class missing-nin, puppet master extraordinaire," Kankuro said, "Is my uncle?"
"Yup." Sakura nodded.
Kankuro opened his mouth and then gave a half strangled noise.
"I believe he is excited." Gaara said tonelessly.
"Ah, you're a puppet master aren't you?" Sasori said just realizing it.
"Yes." Kankuro squeaked
Suddenly the door was thrown open and an old woman darted into the house, kunai in hand as she launched at Sasori. Sasori blinked and Sakura caught his head as the old woman cut it off.
"Sasori!" She hissed.
"Hello Oba-chan." Sasori said as Sakura helped him put his head back on.
"What are you doing here?!" She hissed. "You leave for years and now come crawling back!?"
"I'm here eating dinner." Sasori raised a brow.
The old woman paused and blinked in surprise taking in the impromptu dinner party.
"Join us Great-Grandmother." Gaara said with a nod.
For a moment there was silence.
"What?!" The old woman demanded.
"Your daughter had Gaara's mother and uncle, twins, on the battlefield that they lost their life on and the medic nin didn't get their family name. They were adopted when the war ended and Gaara's mother had them. They're your great grandchildren." Sakura said absently as if it was habit now, cooing over Miki and her 'self-destructive habit of dieting to look pretty for Satoshi'.
The old woman worked her jaw and Sasori twisted his head again to tighten it.
"Grand babies." She finally squeaked.
"And one wants to master the art of puppetry." Sasori smirked.
Kankuro had a bad feeling as the old woman spun to him.
"Kazekage." She snapped.
"Yes?" Gaara asked.
"I demand him as my apprentice and to be taken off then active mission roster for a few weeks."
"Done." Gaara said.
"Now, let's go start training boy." She grinned grabbing Kankuro. "And don't think we won't be having words later Sasori."
"Of course Oba-chan. I'm here for three days." Sasori smiled.
"Good, tomorrow then."
When she was gone Sasori turned to Gaara.
"We'll be leaving right after supper."
The red head raised a brow at the other red head but shrugged. Temari just sat in a daze through the whole meal.
.-.
END OF CHAPTER 10 - BLOOD TESTS IN SUNA