December 2, 2012

Hello all. I am back with the next chapter. From here on we may do some small time jumps. I don't think this story will be as long or involved as my previous VA stories.

FYI if anyone is looking for a good story with lots of original Ideas then Check out Family we make. The premise is different than any other that I have read and it deserves a read and a review. You can find the story on my favorites list.

Chapter 10: Too Much

EPOV

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep

Damn that incessant sound. My head feels like it is underwater. I can't think straight. I want to wake up but I can't pull myself out of this haze. I hear Charlie's voice from somewhere far away.

"Hello Doc, are you a therapist working with the Cullen's?"
"Oh…. Ah this is his Father in Law; I found your number in his phone; under Love Doctor?"
"Just a friend huh? Well I hope I'm not over stepping my bounds; or maybe it is about time I do…. Sorry just talken to myself. I don't know how close a friend you are but I think he can use a friend right now." Charlie's voice fades

Time passes and this time when I try to open my eyes; I am rewarded with the glaring light of overhead fluorescents. I try to cover my eyes but when I try to lift my hand I am shocked by the sight of an IV tube jutting out of my arm and a pulse/ox monitor on my finger.

My head feels foggy and I feel like I can't think straight. The door opens and Charlie walks in. Seeing him brings back my memory of the last few weeks. My chest begins to restrict again and the monitor goes nuts. The accelerating beeps tell me that my heart rate is going fast which in combination with the pain in my chest makes two words flash to mind. Cardiac Arrest! Oh God it's getting worse.

"Calm down son. You're having an anxiety attack. Breathe with me; in, one, two; out, one, two." He says slowly. A nurse runs into the room but he pushes her aside and forces me to focus on him as he continues to guide my breathing. By the time the nurse returned with a Doctor and a guard; Charlie has calmed me down somewhat. Unfortunately just as the attack was over the tears and the sobs started anew.

Part of my mind was vaguely aware of the doctor printing off the tape from the heart monitor. What I was more aware of was the fact that I was being held in a fatherly embrace by the man who should hate me as much as I hate myself. I cried till I was too exhausted to do anything else.

My mind stayed fuzzy and I am not sure how much time passed but I know it did. I didn't care about time or anything really. It was so strange I almost felt split; part of me was only aware of the wall that I faced, another part was aware that things were going on around me and yet another part of me felt dead.

The part of me that was aware of only the wall was most dominant. All it wanted was to be lost in the light blue color. It fought hard when anything tried to pull me from the wall. It knew that there was pain in acknowledging anything else. The pain was always there but the calm blue of the wall dulled it. The only thing that dulled it further was sleep.

The part of me that was aware of the world around me only registered the presence of certain people. They spoke to me I know this because I heard their voices but for the life of me I didn't know what they said; well almost. I do remember them asking me if I wanted them to try to contact Bella. For a brief time I snapped. I knew that after everything I did or didn't do for her; I couldn't guilt her into coming back to me. I couldn't stop myself from the way I reacted; I had to make sure they didn't call her. They have to leave her alone. Someone grabbed my arm and fiddled with my IV then sleep took over.

The part of me that felt dead was the part of me that knew. It knew what I didn't want to acknowledge. It knew that my reason for living was gone.

Time passed. The foggy feeling in my head began to recede. The wall was still my focus but I became more aware of who was with me: Charlie, Dad and Emmitt McCarty. It confused me that any of these men would be here with me. Charlie has more reason to hate me than I can count. He trusted me with his daughter and because of me she has gone; not just from my life but I suspect from his too. My Dad has reason to be disappointed and disgusted by my lack of regard to my wife. He set the best example of how to be a loving husband and somehow I forgot his example. Emmitt McCarty barely knows me but even he could see the mistakes I was making.

"Hey there Eddie" Emmitt's face cut into my view of the wall. "We are springing you today. We would have gotten you out of here sooner but we had to get creative with getting 'Power of Attorney' rights given to your dad." You've been kinda out of it but that's mostly cuz the doc her has had you meds for anti-anxiety. Your dad had to pull some strings with the chief of staff but we got them to wean you off the juice. Don't worry we are going to take care of ya."

"She's gone. There isn't any point to anything anymore."

"Yes there is. There is always hope, from what her pop told me she isn't looking for divorce. That tells me she still loves you. One day you will find your way back to one another, and when that day comes you need to be ready to work things out. That means you have to have your shit together. The love Doctor is going to help you with that and between your Dad and I we will take care of your company."

I know that it would be a slim chance that she would ever come back to me but there was something in the way Emmett spoke to me that gave me hope. For my Bella I decided that I have to take hold of that slim chance. Part of me is anxious about leaving my company in the hands of others but Emmett is right. I have to get my shit together and be ready. When she comes home I will prove to her that I love her. I won't ever give her reason to doubt me again.

"Tanya, she will be able to help you. She knows more about that company than anyone besides me. I don't know what I would do without her."

A yell and a bang sounded before I even finished my sentence. My movements felt slow and sluggish but I turned to the sound. Charlie was leaning against the wall next to a fist sized hole. My dad spoke to him in whispers as he gently guided him out the door.

~*o*O*o*~

Before I was released Dr. James informed me that I have to make some drastic changes. For now all I have suffered is panic attacks; bad ones. But I am showing the warning signs of heart problems. The past few years that I have been working so hard has taken a toll on my body: I have gained 60 pounds, I don't sleep enough, I don't eat right and I consume way too much caffeine.

Seems like my whole life is about to be reconfigured.

No Quiz but did anyone catch it. Bella's last straw is in here. Let me know if you found it.