Chapter Ten

The road noise was beginning to get on his nerves. Dean though it would be a bit insensitive to switch on the cassette right now but needed something to distract him. He looked in the rear view mirror and watched Jo for a moment. She stared out the window with a blank expression and despite all the shit that had gone down between them since she arrived, he felt for her right now.

No one should have to do what she did today.

Sam was asleep and making weird snuffling noises. To be fair he'd taken his turn on the long drive already so it wasn't unreasonable to get some shut eye. But Dean wished he had someone to talk to, breaking up the monotony a little.

He thought maybe the radio would be okay instead. Should he ask first? He looked at her again. Still nothing. God this stuff was hard to figure out. What was he meant to say to her? Sorry you had to bury your mom today, groovy coffin though?

Anyway, this was Sam's department not his. He lit a smoke and opened up the window a crack. It was bitterly cold out but the fresh air felt good on his face, mixed in with all those yummy toxic nicotine fumes. He thought about Bobby. He should have been there today. They'd discussed telling him but agreed that if he'd wanted to come he would have been in touch. This hadn't felt right but with everything else going on Dean had pushed it to the back of his mind. If the old man wanted to be part of this then he shouldn't have bailed.

Dean decided he was fed up with the quiet so leaned over to open the glove box with a naughty grin. He purposely knocked into his brother hoping to wake him up.

Sam's eyes flickered and he moved back into a sitting position, stretching his long legs out as best he could.

"Hey." Dean said, his face looking innocent.

"What time's it?" Sam rubbed his eyes.

"4.30. You wanna stop?" Dean needed more smokes so it was what he'd planned to do anyway.

"Yeah…need a leak." Sam yawned and turned round to look at Jo. She didn't move, still staring out the window. "Okay if we stop, Jo?" he said. She didn't answer.

Sam looked back at Dean, who shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me, I didn't do anything."

Then Jo turned to face them both. "Yeah, let's stop," she said quietly.

Sam nodded and put the radio on. There was a Diner up ahead and Dean could get supplies from the gas station on the other side of the road.

Jo had barely said a word since the Service this morning and Sam was concerned she may have overheard Dean earlier talking about the burial.

He'd been curious why Jo, knowing what she did, hadn't opted for 'salt & burn' when laying Ellen to rest. No Hunter they knew would even consider leaving the corpse of a loved one vulnerable like that.

Although apparently out of earshot, Jo had looked round at Dean the moment he said it and her eyes had seemed full of hate. She'd not said another word till just now.

Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot and all three of them got out. Jo walked straight inside the diner, heading for the restroom. Sam grabbed his brother's arm, manoeuvring them both so they were turned away from the front windows. "Dude, d' you think she heard what you said about burying Ellen's body?"

Dean paused for a minute. "Maybe," he said then pulled away looking pissed. "I don't really give a shit if she did, Sam. She's a grown up, she can take it. Besides, it's a valid question. I'm not spending however long she decides to be here walking on fucking egg shells and filtering everything I wanna say in case I hurt someone's feelings".

Sam looked mortified by his brother's outburst and looked over to where Jo now sat in a

booth by the door. "Jesus Dean, can you at least keep it down?" he said through his teeth.

"No Sammy, this ends today. No more baby-sitting. And that goes for you too, dude. She's gotta start pulling her weight or she's out, understand?"

Sam shook his head. "Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not being like anything, Sam. Ellen's gone. Buried. It's time to get on with what we do. Hunting. And what about Bobby, huh? What's the deal with him? Have you even given him a thought over the past few days?"

Sam moved in closer, towering over Dean formidably. "Don't you dare say that, man. Don't turn your inability to feel into my problem, okay? Bobby has nothing to do with this. He made his choice. Why are you even bringing him up?"

"My inability to feel? You son of a…" Dean swung at his brother, catching his eye and knocking him down. "Fuck you, Sam. Both of you." He walked across the parking lot and got back into the Impala.

The engine had barely turned over as the wheels spun across the gravel. Jo came out and bent over Sam who still lay on the floor.

"What the hell?" She helped him up, both of them watching the Impala as it disappeared off down the road.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock …

The Grandfather Clock sounded comforting as it echoed through the lobby of his house…

"Bobby, honey - you want another beer?" She came towards him, her face beautiful, just as he remembered, kind and full of goodness. He pulled her to him, the feeling of warmth and love and happiness…overwhelming….all around him…

He was sure he'd forgotten to do something, though, a nagging feeling, like he was meant to be somewhere or do something…

Ah - who cares...probably nothin...

Sam and Jo sat in the booth sharing a large fries between them, wondering what to do now. Jo took a sip of her soda and lent forward to examine Sam's bruised eye. She sighed. "So Dean told you he wanted me to leave, right?" she said matter of factly.

"No! No, Jo…he was just saying that now things are…well...just that now…" she could see him struggling to find a nice way of saying that now she had buried her mom, she needed to get on with it.

"It's okay Sam. He's right. That part of my life is over. Time to move on." She sat back in her seat. "But I figure I'm not going to do that if I stay here either, Sam. Dean knows it, and I think you know it too. This…" she spread her hands out around her, "This isn't me. Time to get back to the job and that means be out there on my own."

Sam looked horrified. "No way!" He held her gaze.

"Sam, think about it. I don't belong here. I mean, look at what just happened. I'm not getting in between you two. I won't do that. I need some space now, need to sort some stuff out for myself." She smiled. "Besides, I'm kinda sick of Dean riding my ass this hard and I'm pretty close to bitch-slapping him if I'm honest." Sam nodded. Dean had one coming from him too. "I wanna do this, Sam. And it's what mom would've expected me to do. That's all that matters now."

That statement Sam was not on board with. "Whoa...hold on Jo, sorry but that last part is bullshit."

Sam pushed away the last of the fries and got his wallet out, but never dropped out of her eye line. "You think you're the first person to re evaluate your life after something like this happens? To start feeling like the only way forward is to do exactly what you think you're parents wanted you to?" he laughed but his eyes were far from amused. "When we lost Dad I did the exact same thing." He stood up to go, leaving a tip on the table. "And like I said - it's bullshit."

"What - you and your brother wrote the book on grieving so I can't possibly know the right thing to do for myself? That's a fucking dangerous assumption Sam." Her eyes were wide open with anger.

"No, I'm just saying that maybe what you're feeling now is still grief-driven and that you can't just switch that off because you buried Ellen." He sighed, trying to put it more gently. "Just...trust me when I say you should wait a while before making any major life decisions okay?"

He moved his hand out to touch her arm, but she pulled away. "You think you know me, but you don't," she said coldly. "I've told you Sam, this is not me. I need to get back out there, back to what I know, because this…this has to stop." Her eyes were full of tears again but he could see how angry and frustrated she was with herself.

He got it. She was a soldier, made of stronger stuff than most. But even warriors had to feel something sometimes.

"Look. Just get through today without making any rash decisions, okay? That's all I'm saying. Believe me, it's far worse if you don't." Sam rubbed his sore eye. "Then tomorrow, feel free to rip Dean a new one 'cos he's seriously got it coming."

His phone signalled a text message from Dean:

Valley Motel - Rm14

Sam looked at Jo, sucking in his cheeks as he wrote back:

Fine. Come get us.

No

COME GET US DEAN!

Dean sent no further message and after leaving it a few moments Sam turned to Jo.

"Looks like we're staying here tonight. Dean's sorted out a motel." Jo swung round, arms outstretched indicating that she wasn't able to see any motels near them anywhere. "I know. I told him to come get us but he's pissed so I guess we're walking." He pulled his jacket around himself. "You know, I don't know why I put up with his shit," he grumbled as they started walking onto the Highway heading in the same direction as Dean had left.

Dean placed the phone gently on the table.

No sudden movements.

The man standing next to him jammed the gun back into his temple. "If I get any indication that he knows I'm here, I'll shoot you, him and his bitch. Understand?"

Dean understood.