Lullaby

In my subconscious dwells a new realm, an alternative realm where Lazytown civilians live and so do other unknown people and creatures. The places I had seen were never seen before, and the diary's events certainly were unknown as well. While sitting in Robbie's favorite orange chair, he asked me more about the place I dreamt about. I told him as many details as I could recall, some being rather hazy.

"I have an idea," Robbie declares almost predictably.

I question, "What might that be?"

"Simple. Next time you visit this place, try to pinch yourself awake. If that doesn't work, hurt yourself."

"Hurt myself?" Gosh, Robbie is a nutcase.

"If you get a bruise or cut from the other world and wake up perfectly normal, you'll know it's just a dream. If you wake up and see a black and blue mark or blood, then we'll have more to discuss and you aren't as stressed as we thought."

Robbie never struck me as a moron. However, the underlying knowledge he kept hidden shocked me a bit. This new Robbie understands that I am a mature woman and not a dumb brat. At least he can finally speak to me with meaning and depth.

This is Robbie, though, I remind myself. Not Socrates.

"You're right," I finally reply. "But I'm not going to run around in my dreams cutting myself. Maybe one little mark. I will decide on a part of my body. How about my left leg? I bruise easily on my legs and I'm sure I could get a cut if I accidentally bump into a prickly bush of some sort."

"That's good thinking. So, do you have any idea how these blackouts happen?"

"No."

Robbie sighs and stands up from his seat. "What would make you faint?"

"You aren't going to try and induce these blackouts yourself, are you? I can't have you knocking me over the head or anything." I laugh to hide my fear.

"I wouldn't hurt you," Robbie says. "But what would make you so shocked you faint? Or fall asleep fast? Or something . . .?"

"What would shock me? If Sportacus quit being a superhero. Or maybe if Stingy gave away his toys for free. Since none of those will happen, we should stick to waiting this out. I mean, unless you can help me sleep quickly." I did not want him to agree to helping me sleep because –

"How can I help you, then?"

Dammit.

I look at the floor and frown. "You will think this is stupid, but I used to fall into a deep slumber when my Father held me in his arms on his lap. He used to run his fingers in my hair and call me his 'Little Flower.' I'm too old for that now, and I've gotten accustomed to falling asleep with teddy bears and nothing at all. I do have problems getting tired. It's just a thought."

I think I am insane. Why would I share such a silly thing with this villain?

"Well," Robbie places his hands on his hips and says, "get up. I can't snuggle you with me on your lap, can I? I'm intrigued to know what's going on in your mind. Let's do this."

"Are you sure?" I ask. My face heats with blush.

"Don't question me or I could turn evil on you. Up. Get up."

Perhaps I'm already dreaming. Robbie sits on his chair and stares blankly at me. I feel an odd warmth twist around in my stomach like a ball of rubber bands ready to unravel. I sit on Robbie's lap. He allows my head to rest on his shoulders. Suddenly, he lifts my legs off from the floor and rests them on his leg. I am curled in a ball. Helpless, vulnerable in a rotten person's hold.

He pulls my sneakers off.

His fingers stroke my hair.

I like this too much. Robbie is comfortable and accepting.

And my eyes grow heavy while my lips curl upward.

"Happy dreams, Pinky."