25 Days Christmas Romance Challenge || Day 10: Character A and Character B both sign up for a Christmas Pen Pal project to exchange postcards.
There are not many constants in Emma Swan's life.
Well, no, that's a lie. There are plenty but she doesn't like to think about most of them.
Like the fact that if any difficulty or inconvenience presents itself, people will always, without fail, give up on her. Like the fact that no place has ever felt like home, except maybe that one small brown house when she was three, the one she barely remembers but can still feel the warmth and the belonging for the very first time, the one with a family inside that eventually gave up on her as well. Like the fact that she can pack up all her things and leave in less than an hour. Like the fact that 'romance' has brought her a hollow and dirty feeling at best and a pregnancy scare at worst. Like the fact that she is 25 years old and has yet to make a single friend in this cold, self-sufficient and uncaring world.
Except for one who Emma is pretty sure most people would say doesn't really count and who is probably far from thinking of her as much as she thinks of him in moments when she is no longer just willingly alone but lonely to the bone.
The only constant in Emma Swan's life, that she likes to think about, is Killian Jones.
There are few things that she is grateful for from the numerous schools she was tossed between but that Christmas Pen Pal project in 7th grade is definitely one of them.
/
2004
'Hey Killian,
Mrs Lucas gave me your address. She said you are one of the two people from Ireland who volunteered to take part in the Christmas Pen Pal exchange. Most kids got addresses for people in England because there their school makes them take part. Like our school here. But you volunteered. That's kinda stupid. Why would you care to send a postcard to a person on the other side of the world? Are you trying to make friends? I'm not an expert but I don't think that's how you make friends. Anyway, Merry Christmas, I guess.
Emma'
'Dear Emma Swan,
I was quite excited to receive your address. Isn't this a great idea? You can hear about how someone across the world is spending Christmas. Or whichever holiday you celebrate. Or just having a jolly few days of school, I suppose.
I hope you are indeed having a wonderful holiday – lots of friends and family, a big beautiful tree and decent Christmas carols, and Christmas sweets, and presents and all.
I'm spending Christmas with my brother and we're not really exchanging presents this year but we got a tree and spent all night decorating it after Liam (my brother) came home last night. And it looks like it will be a white Christmas so I'm quite excited. But also I've found that whenever the holiday cheer is waning, a cup of hot chocolate with cinnamon always does the trick.
Wishing you a Happy Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!
Kindest greetings,
Killian Jones'
She receives his card in January and feels like the biggest Grinch ever. She contemplates writing him again to apologize but then things start falling apart around her as they always do and she never talks herself into it.
But when they tell her to gather her things, she tucks his address in the inside pocket of her backpack. Just in case.
/
2005
'Hello Killian,
I'm sorry for being such a Grinch last year. I wanted to apologize but then you gave your address for a Christmas exchange, not to have me sending you random letters so I thought I'd better wait for Christmas again. So, yeah, sorry about that. I hope you and your brother had a great Christmas. Mine wasn't all that you wished me but it wasn't the worst either. The hot chocolate helped.
So Merry Christmas again! Hope it's a better one.
Apologies and greetings,
Emma Swan'
'Dear Emma,
You're not the first, and I guess you won't be the last, person to tell me I don't have a clue how to make friends. I'm sorry you got forced into this, it sounded fun to me and I never thought they made you do it in other schools.
So I thought I won't bother you anymore but I got your new address from your teacher a couple of months after Christmas last year so then I decided I'll send you a card this year as well. Just in case you changed your mind.
Happy Christmas, Emma!
(Hope you've gotten better at making friends, you should give me some tips.)
Greetings,
Killian Jones'
/
2006
'Dear Killian, (that's how you're actually supposed to start a letter, right?)
I'm gonna apologize again for that first letter because I got yours last year (I never thought they'd send you my new address but I guess it's kinda cool that they did). It was really nice of you to send me one even though I wasn't all that nice to you. I think you'd be a great friend actually. So maybe you should give me tips (I think I'm getting worse at making friends and not better).
Merry Christmas ! Enjoy the hot cocoa!
Seasonal greetings (or whatever you write here),
Emma'
'Dear Emma,
I was surprised to receive your letter last year. Pleasantly so. And you can send me any random letters you want, I won't mind.
Liam and I had a nice Christmas but this year I've been working with him at the docks so I can actually buy him a present so I'm quite anxious to go find the perfect one tomorrow. I hope your Christmases keep getting better and better.
Happy Christmas and don't forget the cocoa!
Yours sincerely,
Killian'
When they give her 15 minutes to throw her things in a bag in April, the first thing she grabs is her baby blanket. The second is Killian's address and cards.
In August she sends him an empty (but the prettiest she could find) postcard and her new address and hopes it's still the same by the time Christmas comes.
/
2007
'Dear Killian,
I hope you managed to get Liam that perfect present. And I hope you got my new address as well. It's ok, if you didn't though. I get moved around quite a lot so it's kind of a Christmas miracle (look how non-Grinchy I am, writing about miracles, you should be proud) that I've gotten all of your cards so far.
Merry Christmas and may your cocoa be always warm!
Yours,
Emma'
'Dear Emma,
Thank you for sending me your new address! Storybrooke looks very beautiful, I hope you get to stay there for awhile.
We're about to move in the spring as well so I'll be sending you a new address soon but for now here's a picture of our Christmas tree (we got a real big one this year, I'm quite proud of it).
I think you have some hidden friendship talents yourself, lass, but thank you, I sure hope I manage to make some new friends when we move.
Wishing you a happy and white (Storybrooke looks like a great place for a snowy holiday) Christmas!
Yours,
Killian'
She stays in Storybrooke for three years and exchanges Christmas cards with Killian each and every one. Their letters are never more than a page long but what little she learns about Killian, she memorizes and treasures. He's three years older than her. He loves the sea and working at the docks in hard but he doesn't mind one bit. He loves his brother more than anything in the world.
She tells him why her address keeps changing. She tells him her favourite book as a child was Peter Pan and she got a battered copy of Christmas Carol her second December in Storybrooke. She describes the buttercup tattoo she is getting.
When 2011 rolls around she is twenty and leaves Storybrooke with a need for something more and no idea where to look for it. The first things she packs are Killian's address and letters.
When 2012 hits his brother is in the Navy, she can tell he is both proud and afraid and it's the first time she thinks about how much she wants to see his face and hug him.
/
2013
'Dear Killian,
I moved again. As you should know, if you got my card a couple of months ago. I just didn't feel like there was anything left to explore in Chicago and I can get a crappy waitressing job anywhere. Though recently I've been thinking that I have so much experience with changing places and disappearing and looking for people who have disappeared that I might try to put that to some use, you know? Does that sound stupid? I don't really know what I'm gonna do but I'm sure I can be doing it here as well. Or somewhere else. Anywhere really.
I hope your brother is doing well in the Navy. I don't know what to tell you about joining him, to be honest. I mean, it sounds like quite the adventure, like you said, but a bit on the unnecessary dangerous side? I mean, you can be brave without being reckless. Just let me know when you've made your mind. So I know whether or not I should stop sleeping soundly at night.
Merry Christmas, Killian!
Yours always,
Emma'
It's the first time in almost a decade that she doesn't receive a Christmas card from Killian. And she tries to tell herself he simply forgot (but that's not Killian and she knows it), tries to tell herself he simply didn't get her new address (but somehow his cards always find her and she knows that too), tries to tell herself she will get his email or something the second she can afford a freaking laptop (but somehow not having a new letter in her hands on Christmas is all she can think about).
She tries to tell herself nothing bad has happened (but she fails).
It is the closest she has ever come to taking his address out and buying a plane ticket rather than a stamp.
/
2014
'Dear Killian,
I hope everything is alright. I know maybe you just didn't get my address or the post fucked up or something but it kinda sucked not to hear from you on Christmas last year.
I'm still here but will probably be sending you a new address within a month or so. On the plus side, the whole searching for people thing is paying off and in case you need to find someone who skipped on their bail in the future, just let me know. Though by the time I get your letter they would've probably switched a dozen states or countries or whatever.
Which brings us to my question. If you ever see this and get back to me, maybe we should exchange emails or something? I mean, this is wonderful and all but I was thinking we should make use of that magical invention called the Internet. If you want to.
Well, I hope you're safe and happy.
Merry Christmas, Killian. Don't forget the cocoa, wherever you are.
Love,
Your Emma'
'Dearest Emma,
I'm so incredibly sorry for not wishing you a happy Christmas the previous year.
I did indeed join Liam in the Navy and perhaps had I read your sound advice earlier, we would've come out of it not so worse for wear. We are both alright now though. Liam gave me quite a scare there and my own bloody shoelaces take a bit longer these days but we're out of the woods. And the Navy.
I hope you haven't followed my example and gone off on some perilous adventure on your own. Though it is my firm belief that whatever it is you decide to do and wherever you decide to go, you will never fail.
I really missed you, Emma. I know that probably sounds ridiculous because we barely exchange two letters a year and I did get one from you but you do happen to be my oldest and best friend so here we are.
Happy Christmas, love! Made a cup of cocoa and thinking of you.
All my love,
Killian'
/
2015
She sends him a card, those underwater goggles he's been raging about for the last two months and a three-page letter and he one-ups her with five pages and the most exquisite edition of Peter Pan she has ever seen.
'I do so hope you are not still partial to the naughty devil over the dashing captain, Swan, since I've found myself growing old and losing appendages in the last few years.'
She rolls her eyes and puts his letter aside to type out a reply in her email before she has forgotten.
They email each other three times a day. On busy days. And yet, when she comes to the end of her letter, she hesitates over the 'Send' button like she has done every time in the last months, thinks about asking him if she should find him on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or whatever the kids are into these days.
And as the coward she is, she clicks her mouse without another word.
Faceless fantasies of a happily ever after are safe – wonderful and bright and hopeful and vibrant and so hopelessly unrealistic but safe.
Giving them a face, his face, is dangerous. It can make her fairytale a concrete might-be, could-be, should-be. It's her last line of defense.
/
2016
The only constant in Emma Swan's life, that she likes to think about, is Killian Jones.
He has been a flicker of light in her worn-gray life for the last 12 years, a steady beam in the last 2.
They were quite lost in the postal nightmare the first few years and lucky to get their cards in the first half of January. But with time they've perfected their timing so that they are always holding each other's letters by Christmas Eve.
Which is probably why Emma is bouncing her foot unconsciously and glowering at Jude Law and Cameron Diaz's ridiculous flirting on her screen and squeezing her cup of cocoa perhaps a bit too tightly at 11pm on Christmas Eve.
Not only has she not received her letter, she hasn't had an email from Killian in the last two days.
Panic wasted no time in trying to set in but she quickly told herself that there was no way he'd received her letter before sending his own, no way he'd read certain beyond-cheesy, my-bin-is-overflowing-so-I'm-sending-this-one, suck-it-up-Emma-it's-been-12-years, all-I-want-for-Christmas-is-to-wish-you-a-merry-one-in-person sentiments and decided to never write to her again.
There is simply no way.
So why is she grinding her teeth harder and harder with every minute that passes? It's not like the postman is suddenly gonna remember her lonely mailbox at 11:35pm on Christmas Eve.
If he will just reply to her damn emails maybe-
There's a knock on her door and Emma, for one beyond-ridiculous moment, thinks the postman has indeed come to rectify his grievous error. Then she shakes her head, tells herself to fucking chill and go direct the lost person that is probably looking for the party upstairs.
She opens the door and well… she wishes she was the one throwing a party that guy would show up for.
Emma may or may not have been paying very little attention to male specimens on the streets in the last year or so. She may or may not have reduced her bar-visiting hours almost to zero. But her eyes still function very well. And the man before her is nothing if not a delight for the sense of sight.
"Emma Swan?"
For the sense of hearing as well. And she can just bet that he will score well with smell, touch and taste as well.
Emma shakes her head to dislodge those particular thoughts and scowls a bit at herself. She has come across her fair share of extremely attractive men in the aforementioned last year or so and none have had much effect on her.
She blames it on her Christmas card withdrawal and clears her throat.
"Who's asking?" she demants, a bit harsher than is probably reasonable.
But the guy just grins as if that's exactly what he expected, what he was hoping for, looking for. What even? Emma tries to get mad at his cheeky face. And fails miserably.
Before she can give it another try, he brings one of his hands from behind his back and hands her a white envelop.
Emma tries not to get freaked out but the apprehension in her wide eyes must be clear because his grin softens into an encouraging smile as he nods at her to take it. She does so with extreme caution, not touching him at all.
There's no name or address so she tears the envelope without ceremony and takes out a fairly simple Christmas card showing a fireplace with two solid cups on the wooden floor before it. She chances the quickest of glances at the guy before opening the card. He looks somewhat apprehensive as well by now, even if his smile is still in place.
'I sure hope you have some hot cocoa with cinnamon.'
Her eyes fly back up to his so fast she feels a little dizzy. But then again, there might be another explanation for that as well.
"Killian?"
If she stops to think about it, she might describe her tone as painfully hopeful.
He brings his other hand from behind his back as well. Or what's supposed to be his hand but is not. He looks terribly awkward in comparison to his air just a minute ago.
"Happy Christmas?" he kind of asks, his smile all sorts of nervous.
She throws her arms around him and kisses him until there's no question exactly how happy the holiday or she is.
/
2017
She scoffs at the 13th mistletoe he hangs in the apartment and half-mockingly informs him that there are still none in the shower. He takes the bait like the wonderfully mistletoe-obsessed man that he is and she takes the opportunity to slip the red envelope from her nightstand drawer under his pillow.