"Go in! You stupid thing, why the heck are you so heavy!" Betty shouted in agitation trying to get Professor Oak's body inside the dumpster. Finally Betty managed to get Oak's body into the dumpster as she clapped her hands together getting the grease off. "Ugh, that's right I still have to put the arm in…Wormadam my life!" Betty yelled in frustration as she lifted the severed arm and chucked it up into the dumpster leaving a trail of blood. "Great, just great now there's blood drooping all over the parking lot! Ah, the heck with it, they can assume what they want, I'll just say a dog bit me…Ah, crap there's no dogs in this world…Fine a Magicarp bit me…whatever that is, I've heard the name before, I'll say that bit me and I bled." Betty said trying to devise an excuse if push came to shove. Just then Charlie was seen grumbling to herself as she walked back to Ash's house.

"Hey, Charlie, come here!" Betty called beckoning her to the scene. Charlie walked down to Betty in the parking lot near the dumpster.

"What?" Charlie asked bluntly.

"If you saw this trail of blood leading into the dumpster what would you do?" Betty questioned.

"Laugh and then look in the dumpster." Charlie said abruptly.

"Crap! So you would look in the dumpster…" Betty said.

"Well, yeah, trails of blood always intrigued me." Charlie replied.

"Ugh, will you help me clean up this blood then?" Betty moaned.

"Fine…" Charlie agreed reluctantly.

"Yay! Thanks, Charles!" Betty said.

"Charles? What?" Charlie stated.

"Charlie is a nickname for Charlotte not Charles how many times do I have to explain that to you! That's why I also was dubbed Lotty for awhile." Charlie explained.

"Like it matters, just grab a wipe and help me mop up this Oak blood." Betty ordered.

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Charlie said irascibly.

"Okay, okay Charlie I'll shut up, jeez!" Betty exclaimed as they wiped away the markings of blood on the tar. Just then a seemingly familiar face came strolling down the path, headed towards the parking lot, her favorite shortcut to Pallet Town.

"Oh, good grief…is that-" Charlie began. "Ugh, it is, it is…"

"Who is that, Charlie, do you know her? More importantly how can she affect me, will she tell on me!" Betty panicked.

"If she knows that I know you then yes…she's the devil in disguise!" Charlie exclaimed.

"So she's Emma?" Betty guessed.

"No…worse." Charlie uttered.

"Worse…? Than Emma! That bad!" Betty said emphatically.

"Yes, her name is Misty, Misty the evil!" Charlie exclaimed. "Just hide me!"

"Okay, okay, chill out!" Betty said as Misty walked right passed them but, then she desisted walking and backtracked her steps.

"Is that you, Charlie?" Misty asked.

"No, who's Charlie, oh, what a pretty name, though oh!" Charlie said in a horrible voice disguise.

"Yes, yes it is…for a boy!" Misty said dauntingly. "Come outta there, Charlie Ketchum." Misty demanded covetously.

"Yeah, but, Ash chose me." Charlie said grinning, knowing that no matter what Misty shot at her Charlie could always dart back the same insult and it would get her each and every time, she still had never let Ash go.

"…You stupid toad-face! I'm gonna-…Say, where is Ash anyway?" Misty asked.

"You don't have to know." Charlie said.

"Did you send him storming away with more insults again?" Betty inquired.

"Oh, so, you send Ash running away with insults?" Misty said.

"Yeah, well, so did you, you bashed him all the time when you were kids! And Betty is a diabolical evil mastermind!" Charlie yelled defensively.

"How the heck do you know what was going on in my childhood?" Misty asked.

"…I kind of…sort of…watched your entire life on TV." Charlie confessed.

"I knew it! Your friends even told me that you worshipped me!" Misty said.

"I didn't worship you…I idolized you." Charlie said.

"You went into denial when I left the series and made up a made up season called Pokémon Beware that I was in…" Misty yelled back.

"Hey, I was seven, okay?" Charlie said.

"You disappointed millions of fans worldwide!" Misty yelled.

"How the heck did I do that!" Charlie screamed.

"You crushed the hopes and dreams of Pokeshippers everywhere!" Misty yelled. "And Pearlshippers…and advanceshippers…and Negaishippers…and you sent all the fangirls on a rampage to burn down the Pokémon company." Misty yelled. "But! If you hadn't stolen Ash he would have picked me and at least Pokeshipping would have prevailed!"

"Well, too bad for you losers! Ash x Charlie for the win!" Charlie screamed.

"I'm leaving!" Misty said in a snit.

"Good, bye-bye!" Charlie said shooing her away. "Hasta la vista! Don't let the door hit you on the way out, good riddance, ciao!"

"I'm leaving to find Ash, since you upset him!" Misty yelled.

"Ash, is being pathetic…I mean it was just Professor Oak!" Charlie yelled.

"Which I, Betty, had no affiliation with it at all, nothing to do with it was such a random tragedy, Lord knows where these things come from! It was like boom, all of a sudden not like anyone beat him to death with his walker or anything, `cause like that would be really blatant and like yeah, not anything under those circumstances…of course if it was a murder, hypothetically speaking, of course, I would know nothing of it because I'm not a murderer!" Betty said.

"You're blowing it, Betty, just shut up…" Charlie mumbled.

"Oh my God, the professor passed away!" Misty cried. "No wonder Ash is so upset he and the professor were always so close…What did you do to him!" Misty said accusatively.

"What, nothing why would you think I did something, because I DIDN'T!!" Betty shouted psychotically.

"Betty, she was accusing me, and she was accusing me of upsetting Ash, not slaughtering Professor Oak, nobody cares about him except Tracey and Ash…" Charlie replied.

"Oh…yeah, of course…pfft, I knew that…I was just saying…making it clear that y'know I'm not responsible for Oak's death, cause I'm not so why would you think that anyway, right?" Betty said.

"Yeah…Like I said…leaving now." Misty said as she ran away from Betty screaming.

"Wait to go, Betty!" Charlie said exchanging a high-five with Betty. Meanwhile, over at the Ketchum's house with Juliana, Emma, Shea, Cecelia, N and Mrs. Ketchum were on the couch conversing until a sudden awkward silence swept over the room.

"So…did you ever here the one about the chicken, who crossed the road? Y'know, to get to the other side?" Shea said and everyone just stared at her like she had four heads. "I don't know! Charlie always said that, so I thought I'd give it a try…don't know why…she always got the same response…"

"OMG, OMG, OMG, guys guess what!" Emma said.

"You're leaving…" Mrs. Ketchum grumbled.

"No…" Emma said glumly. "Tomorrow is Friday, Friday we gotta get down on Friday! Fun, fun, fun, we so excited!" Emma sang.

"I will kill you right now." Juliana stated firmly.

"When'd you turn into Betty?" Shea commented.

"When Emma started singing Rebecca Black." Juliana said with a distant, perturbed gleam in her eyes.

"Ugh, I gotta go get something to eat…gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal." Emma sang as she sprinted to the kitchen as Juliana gave Emma a serious death stare. Just then Ash slammed open the door with a blotchy, tear-stung face of neglect.

"What now, drama queen?" Cecelia asked.

"Ash, what's the matter?" Delia asked.

"I don't maybe the fact that you're his mother…" N grumbled.

"Don't get me started on what's wrong with you, buddy!" Delia yelled and N kept quiet.

"Nobody loves me!" Ash cried and a silence filled the room *cricket~cricket*.

"That's not true, Ash, I love you! (sorta)" Delia said.

"Great, you love me, no one that matters does!" Ash exclaimed plopping himself down on the couch.

"Gee, I feel loved…" Delia groaned.

"Charlie, loves you, she married you!" Shea said reassuringly.

"No, she loves Gary…everyone loves Gary…and everybody hates me." Ash moaned like a child.

"No, Ash, everybody hates Chris, duh." Juliana remarked. Emma walked into the room and looked around at all the various options of seating on the couch.

"Kickin' in the front seat, kickin' in the back seat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?" Emma sang, off key to mimic the actual vocals in the song.

"Wormadam it, Emma, there's only ONE seat to choose from, just like in Black's car there's only one seat, sit your butt down with your 13-year-old driving friends and just go! I don't see how her seating options is such a confliction in her life that she has to write a song about it…if that's her biggest worry I'll trade lives in a second!" Juliana said.

"But, Juliana, we gotta be kickin' in the front seat kick-" Emma started to sing.

"I'm gonna be kickin' on your right leg, kickin' on your left leg gotta make my mind up, which leg will I kick?" Shea yelled.

"Okay, okay guys calm yourselves!" Emma said. "…We appreciate you, we think you are great, we appreciate you, yeah you really rate!" she sang.

"EMMA!" Cecelia screamed.

"You guys are so mean!" Emma whined.

"If you continue singing unbearably exasperating, nauseating, irritating songs you'll learn the true meaning of mean!" Cecelia screamed.

"You irk me…" Emma growled.

"That's great go be irked elsewhere with a muzzle or duct tape on your mouth!" Cecelia rebutted.

"I hate you all." Emma said.

"Ash, where did you think you'd end up back when you were a kid." N asked curiously.

"In a ditch with a bunch of man eating Pikachus! Oh…the irony…" Cecelia exclaimed spontaneously.

"O_o Noooooooooooooo… I don't know, I guess a Pokémon Master, why?" Ash replied.

"No reason…heheheheheh…" N said deviously.

"I'm not even going to ask…" Shea said as she watched N laugh maliciously thinking:" What the heck did Cecelia just commit her life to?" When all of a sudden a knock was heard at the door.

"Oh, that must be Charlie and Betty returning from their adventure, I'll get it!" Delia said as she went up to greet them at the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum!" Misty said pleasantly.

"Oh, hello, Misty what a surprise!" Delia said. "Please, please come in!"

"Thanks!" Misty said as she stepped through the door. "Oh, having a party?"

"No…" Delia mumbled. "Not one that I'm the hostess of anyway…"

"Oh, well I'm sorry to barge in I wanted to say hello, I heard Ash was in town!" Misty said.

"Yeah, he's right over there!" Delia replied and Misty walked over to talk to him.

"Hey, Ash!" Misty exclaimed.

"Hey, Misty!" Ash said happily.

"I'm sorry about Professor Oak." Misty stated offering her condolences.

"Yeah…" Ash said, eyes watering. "Do you wanna go talk outside it's a little hard to hear with everyone screaming in here."

"Sure!" Misty agreed and they walked outside, unbeknownst to them that Charlie and Betty were spying and eavesdropping on them from the bushes.

"Look, at him!" Charlie whispered crossly into Betty's ear. "He's flirting with her, I told you Misty is the devil in disguise!"

"They're just talking, Charlie, you're overreacting…" Betty replied.

"NO! You're under reacting!" Charlie whispered back irately.

"Besides, everyone knows that Kyuebey and Emma are the devil in disguise." Betty said.

"Whoever everybody is never met Misty!" Charlie said.

"Yeah, when we told Gary that Oak was dead he didn't even care, Tracey flipped but Gary was glad, and Charlie sided with him!" Ash explained to Misty.

"Ouch." Misty replied.

"I know! Then Charlie kept saying how great Gary is…" Ash growled.

"Jealous?" Misty said and Ash nodded. "Yeah…been there, done that."

"Y'know, Charlie swears that your jealous of her and that's why you didn't come to our wedding." Ash said. "Isn't that ridiculous!"

"Oh, yeah….totally…" Misty lied. "It was just cause…um I was…mad at you that day…yeah that was it, I was mad."

"Mad? Why? How could you have been to skip my wedding?" Ash asked.

"Um…because, you, ugh, um, owe me a bike, yes you better repay me for my broken bike, Ash Ketchum!" Misty yelled.

"…Your bike…Wait, what! That was over thirty years ago! … …And if I remember correctly you did get your bike back! And you forgot about the bike halfway through Kanto anyway!" Ash shouted.

"Well, I remembered, and got temporarily mad…Because technically you didn't repay me for the bike Nurse Joy just fixed it." Misty explained her rationale behind her excuse to cover her envy.

"Well, that's stupid…" Ash said.

"Well, maybe I felt like being stupid!" Misty screamed.

"Maybe she is stupid…" Charlie grumbled to Betty in the bushes.

"Over-re-action!" Betty said in chiming each syllable.

"…Say, Ash, where's Pikachu at?" Misty asked.

"…Charlie ate it…" Ash said in an agitated tone.

"She ate it? Like…she ate it?" Misty said, stunned.

"Yes, she ate it. She fried it, devoured it and it died." Ash said.

"Oh God! Poor Pikachu!" Misty screamed. "Some wife you got there…"

"I know, she sounds bad, but, that's just how she is." Ash replied.

"Whatever you say, Ash…" Misty stated.

"Isn't she demonic, I mean look at her satanic face!" Charlie told Betty.

"Okay, I am officially taking you to a shrink, I am scheduling the appointment like right now!" Betty said.

"I'm officially taking you to anger management classes…or prison!" Charlie responded.

"Touché…" Betty replied.

"Well, I gotta go, Ash, maybe I'll see you tomorrow!" Misty said.

"Okay, see ya later then, Misty!" Ash said as Misty departed to Cerulean City and Ash walked back inside his house.

"Okay, the coast is clear, let's go in!" Charlie decided and Betty just went along with it.

"It's like you're looking for a conspiracy theory because you're bored…" Betty commented.

"Shut up, Betty!" Charlie said. "Or this murderer is going to be murdered!"

"Alright, alright, take a chill pill, what're you an Emma!" Betty said as they stepped inside the Ketchum house.

"Hello, Mrs. Ketchum…" Ash said in a snit as Betty and Charlie entered the house.

"Ash, that is no way to address your mother!" Delia reprimanded.

"…I was talking to my wife, Mom…" Ash replied.

"Well, that's no way to talk to her either." Delia said.

"Yeah, Ash!" Charlie said.

"That's it, I'm taking you two to see a guidance counselor!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"…We-we do not need to go to a guidance counselor!" Charlie barked back.

"Um, yeah you do, okay fine we'll call it a marriage counselor!" Cecelia said.

"Ew." Charlie stated in response.

"Hmph, maybe that's what we need!" Ash replied.

"EW!" Charlie said. "You can't make me!"

"Charlie, you need help, think of the children!" Juliana coaxed.

"EW…Children…" Cecelia shuddered.

"What the crap do children have to do with anything!" Charlie rationalized.

"Because…" Juliana said. "Isn't it obvious…ugh, mortals these days, what're ya gonna do?"

"…I have no idea what you're talking about!" Charlie responded.

"If you can't do it for the children do it for Gary!" Juliana suggested.

"Gary…" Charlie stated, drooling. "Okay, I think I can do that…"

"Good, I'll schedule the appointment!" Cecelia concluded.

"This will be good for the two of you, you'll see!" Delia exclaimed.

"Yeah…maybe we'll take you and Mimey over there next, you shouldn't live together without being married, y'know." Charlie said.

"WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SUGGEST!" Delia freaked out.

"Pfft, have you seen the sheep's eyes it make s at you, ob-vi-ous!" Charlie said.

"YOU HAVE A SICK MIND!" Shea shouted.

"You, have no emotions!" Charlie rebutted an Shea walked up and kicked her in the shin.

"…Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, today it is Friday, Friday-" Emma sang.

"EMMA NO, NO, SHUT UP, SING THE BUMBLEBEE SONG, ANYTHING BUT THAT SONG!" Charlie screamed as she pushed two satin pillows against her ears to muffle the deafening sound of the horrendous song.

"Okay…It's prom night, prom night!" Emma began but quickly desisted after receiving multiple death stares.

"Okay-dokey! The appointment has been scheduled for today at five, I'll escort you!" Cecelia decided.

"What, today?" Ash exclaimed.

"What better time than the present to sort your problems out and find love!" Juliana stated.

"Shut up, Opera!" Charlie yelled.

"You must come together and love your spouse!" N commented.

"You too, Dr. Phill!" Charlie shouted.

"Oh my gosh, Charlie, I have like the cutest dress that would look absolutely, positively, ravishing on you! Oh my gosh come up stairs you can try it on!" Delia said.

"Ew, gross I don't want to wear old lady clothes…and why the heck would I get dressed up to go see a psychiatrist?" Charlie replied.

"I don't know…shrink's like to see their patients looking their finest!" Delia said.

"…Mom was just trying to be nice, Charlie." Ash advocated.

"I hate nice people…" Charlie growled.

"OMG, me too, what a coincidence!" Betty said.

"I love nice people!" Shea exclaimed.

"You love everything…" Emma grumbled.

"I do!" Shea said making a heart sign with her hands. A couple of hours passed and it was almost time to go see the psychiatrist and Cecelia was about ready to force Charlie and Ash to go see the shrink.

"I don't see why were the ones who have to see the shrink when all we have is a few marital arguments and Betty is a serial killer, Emma is a fairy-skipping emo person who still hasn't gotten over her eighth grade crush and she lives on the streets, and Juliana is a wizard!" Charlie shouted.

"Hey! Wizards are awesome, okay!" Juliana said defensively.

"But, I loved him!" Emma cried.

"It has been thirty years…" Juliana muttered.

"Okay, were off to see shrink!" Cecelia said.

"Oh, okay bye, honey, good luck, I love you!" Delia called.

"You too, Mom!" Ash called back.

"EW! I hate this love stuff…" Charlie growled.

"And yet I wonder where our marriage has gone wrong…" Ash groaned.

"Get outta here so we can have some peace and quiet!" Juliana yelled.

"Good riddance!" Betty said.

"Leave, I have to watch sop operas and Endurance, leave!" Emma called goodbye. The three hopped into the car and drove off to the Pallet counselor. Once they arrived they stepped out of the car to be greeted by the counselor's assistant.

"Is that…?" Cecelia asked.

"It can't be…?" Charlie said.

"But, it is?" Cecelia stated.

"Hello, welcome to the Pallet counseling institute I'm Mrs. Dunce, how can I help you?" Mrs. Dunce said.

"…Do we not look familiar to you?" Charlie asked.

"Sort of but, I'm superior to all so, I don't bother remembering the standard individual, commoner's name, it would waste my intellectual intelligence on such trivial matters." Mrs. Dunce explained.

"Yeah, because we wouldn't want something terrible to happen to such a brilliant, brainiac such as yourself. Like what if something like you getting fired from your teaching job at a parochial school and then you ended up in a parallel universe as an intern to a guy who solves others' problems…oh, wait." Charlie said back.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse my wife, they must've skipped teaching etiquette in her pre-school." Ash said offensively.

"At least I went to school past pre-school, Mr. Courtesy!" Charlie shot back.

"Um, fourth grade!" Ash corrected.

"Oh, excuse me!" Charlie said. "I'm just a Princeton graduate with a doctrine in technology, what do I know…" Charlie said sarcastically. "Especially when compared to a fourth grade, drop-out, who's a hillbilly to boot!"

"If you're so great, why'd you end up with such a loser?" Ash said.

"…I don't know, I've got a pretty bad personality." Charlie admitted.

"See, why I brought them here!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"I think you two need to get your acts together! Grow up!" Mrs. Dunce shouted. "Now, please follow me as I direct you to Mr. Kyubey's office."

"Mr. Kyuebey?" Charlie reassured.

"Yup-dup-duppers!" Mrs. Dunce assured.

"What kind of name is that?" Ash asked.

"That's a very sensitive subject…" Mrs. Dunce explained.
"Oh…" Cecelia said. They walked inside a peculiar looking room, that was decorated with only black and white décor. There was an office chair and a desk with the chair turned to the back of the patient.

"Hello, Mr. Kyuebey I have brought you your two newest patients." Mrs. Dunce said as she dismissed herself from his office. Kyuebey suddenly swished around from his leather, swivel chair making his appearance visible.

"Y-you're a Pokémon!" Charlie shouted. "You're all pink and fluffy!"

"That's not a Pokémon…" Ash said.

"You just love to contradict me, don't you?" Charlie said.

"No, no, I'm serious." Ash assured.

"Hello, please, please, have a seat." Kyuebey insisted.

"What the hell…that thing just talked without moving its mouth!" Charlie shouted.

"Yes, I speak telepathically." Kyuebey explained.

"That's not weird…" Cecelia commented.

"Now, what seems to be your issue?" Kyuebey asked.

"Right now, my problem is there's a freakish pink cat speaking to me through telepathy." Charlie answered.

"…Very funny, but, it seems to me that your problem is that you fight much too frequently." Kyuebey guessed.

"Yes!" Ash exclaimed.

"…No, we don't!" Charlie lied. "Ash, we gotta get out of here, I've got a foreboding feeling about that cat thing!" Charlie whispered in her husband's ear.

"You just wanna leave…" Ash replied.

"So, to be concise and cut to the chase I know a special way to make all of your problems vanish, almost like magic." Kyuebey explained.

"…That's great, bye!" Charlie said eagerly.

"I'm listening…" Ash said, as he stopped her.

"All you've got to do is sign this here contract!" Kyuebey said.

"And what exactly does the contract say?" Charlie asked with Cecelia intently observing the conversation like she was watching a flick.

"All you've gotta do is become a magical girl-" Kyuebey began until Ash gave him an irritated look "Or boy… and fight off witches!"

"Witches? Like what the wicked witch of the northeastern hemisphere, or like witches like Juliana?" Charlie asked.

"Neither, a whole new kind of evil witch that is a threat to our planet!" Kyuebey said.

"Nah, sounds pretty con-artsy to me, like you're trying to sell me something, I'll pass!" Charlie said declining the offer.

"You'll rue it!" Kyuebey persisted.

"Yeah, whatever, let's go Ash, this was a waste!" Charlie said. "Come on, Cecelia!"

"…Yeah, fine, stupid scam…" Ash mumbled.

"Sorry, guys I didn't know this was some sort of propagandist advertisement." Cecelia apologized.

"Eh, thanks for trying!" Charlie said. Then as Ash, Charlie and Cecelia left the building an eavesdropping Emma whom had followed them there walks into Kyuebey's room.

"I'm interested in signing a contract with you, Kyuebey!" Emma proclaimed.

"Wise decision, Emma, I myself signed a contract with Kyuebey!" Mrs. Dunce said as she popped out of nowhere.

"You're a magical girl, with that fat?" Emma remarked.

"Well, I'll be!" Mrs. Dunce said as she stuck her nose at Emma.

"Alright, then Emma tell me your dearest wish and I'll make the contract!" Kyuebey declared.

"I wish that Peter Pan loved me!" Emma announced and Kyuebey created the contract, therefore separating Emma's body and soul.

"So…does Peter love me now?" Emma asked.

"Go see for yourself, and I'll call you when I need you when a grief seed is forming." Kyuebey explained.

"Thank you, Kyuebey, thank you!" Emma squealed and ran off to find her lover.

"No, thank you…" Kyuebey said deceitfully as Emma dashed off to find her Peter and declare her superb news.

Next time Emma is reunited with her beloved Peter at last!

Update Saturday, May 7! Which is tomorrow! Yay~~~~