"I'm sorry sweetie, but your grandma can't drive herself to her doctor's appointment. I didn't even realize I scheduled them on the same day until last night when she called me and reminded me," my mom poured herself some orange juice and then me some.

I have a dermatology appointment today for some weird pimple that I have on the top of my head, but it's all the way in the OC. Oh why? Because it's a family friend's place and my mom goes there, my aunts, everyone in my family. I've never had to go until now and I don't mind it, I don't mind driving as much as they think, I mean, I'd prefer not to, but I don't mind at all. I just wanted someone to go to my appointment with me. It's not like it was down the street and if something were to happen, someone could come. No, I was an hour away. But everyone I'd want to go with me is busy. My friends, my whole family. But what did I expect? It was a Saturday. Seriously though, who goes to the doctor's on a Saturday? Me and my grandma, that's who. It sucked, but it was the only time I could go unless I wanted to miss school or sit in traffic in the afternoon after I get out of school.

"You'll be fine. When you're there, call Briana and she'll go with you," she told me closing the refrigerator door as soon as she was done putting the orange juice away.

"Oh wow, I didn't even think of that, totally forgot," I told her, my face lighting up. Briana was like a sister to me. I didn't get to see her as often as I'd like because she lived an hour away but we'd talk all the time and stuff. Her mom and my mom are absolute best friends and have been since high school, but they moved when we were just 10 years old. Of course we still kept in contact. And I'd see her as often as we could. Her driving out here with her mom or us driving there. Day trips. Weekend trips. Everything. How did I forget she lived there?! Maybe because I was preoccupied with how much I DIDN'T want to go to this appointment and how all I wanted to do was lay in bed and eat a gallon of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. "Yeah, I'll call her."

"Okay, good," my mom came up to me and gave me a kiss on top of my head, "I gotta go, and you should too. Call me after you get out, okay?"

I nodded and waved her off as she grabbed an apple on her way out. I got off the stool and grabbed myself an apple too and then went upstairs and grabbed my purse and put on some boots. I really did not want to go, but I knew I had to. I've had this weird pimple on my scalp for months now.

So I grabbed my keys from the key bowl or whatever and opened the front door to get on my way.

But to my surprise, Troy Bolton was standing there looking as hot as ever. "Troy?"

"Oh hi," he tells me, taking his hand away from the door bell which I assume he was about to ring, "Sorry," he apologizes, "um is Josh home? He wasn't texting me back."

I adjust my purse because it was falling a bit and shake my head as I close the door behind me. "No," I separate my house keys from my others on my key chain and put it in the key hole to lock it, "He went with my dad and Ava to this marathon in Sherman Oaks."

It was a breast cancer run that we participated in every year, but my mom and I couldn't this year so it was just them three. Ava probably wouldn't be able to keep up, but my other grandma would be there on the sidelines to watch her while they ran/walked it.

"Oh that was today?" he asked stepping back a bit, "I thought it was tomorrow."

I turned around from locking the door and shook my head, "No, today at 8," It was now 10 and I guess I could have gone for a bit, but eh, I would be cutting it close and back tracking so I had to sit this one out which sucked, but what are you gonna do?

"You didn't go?"

I watched him walk down the steps and then followed him until we were both standing near my car, "No, I have a dermatology appointment at 11:45 so I couldn't."

"It's only 10," he pointed out with a small laugh, "or are you going somewhere else?"

He stood there running his hand through his hair and it was the most attractive thing I have ever seen. He's done it before but it just gets better and better. Seriously, why is he so good looking? It wasn't fair and it sucked that I lived right next door to him. And that I have a boyfriend. And that I'm not blonde, 5'10 with blue eyes because that's who he deserves and probably likes. I mean, Megan's blonde and has blue eyes and they hooked up. So.

"Oh, no," I told him, snapping out of my ridiculous thoughts, "it's in Newport Beach so I have to leave now just in case there's a bit of traffic and stuff."

"You're going all the way to Newport for an appointment?"

It sounded ridiculous because there were SO many good doctors here in LA, but whatever. "He's a family friend and we always go there. Well, I haven't been, but whenever someone in my family has to, that's where we go," I tell him, "it's like getting a credit card from Wells Fargo if your uncle or dad works for Bank of America. You just don't."

He laughed and looked away for a minute before looking back, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I didn't want to stop talking to him, but I had to get going so how do I get rid of him? I made my way around my car and to the drivers side and unlocked my car, opening the door a bit discreetly so it didn't seem like I was just brushing off the conversation we were having.

He shrugged, "How long are you staying?"

"Um, I'm not sure. I have my appointment, however long that takes, and then I was going to meet up with my friend and I don't know how long that will take," I tell him and he's just standing there taking it all in, "I really don't have a set schedule."

"Mind if I come?"

WHAT? I stopped opening the door and left it open half way and looked at him, "you want to come with me to Newport?" What does this mean? Oh my gosh! how exciting!

"My sister lives there," he reminds me, "I haven't seen her in a few weeks so maybe I can get lunch with her and stuff while you go to your appointment and hang with you friend... if that's okay with you."

Oh right. His sister goes to school there. That's why he wants to go. Not for you, Gabriella. "Sure, I'll save you some gas," I tell him with a small laugh so he knows I'm kidding. "Are you ready to go?"

He nods, "Yeah, let me just grab my wallet and my phone."

He takes off to his house and I slip into the car and pull down the mirror right away. I fix my eyeliner a bit that was starting to smearing and then grab my purse and apply some chapstick. Okay, calm down, Gabriella, stop fixing yourself up for this boy. You have a boyfriend.

It sucked that I always needed to remind myself that I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend I hadn't seen in a little while now. Ugh. Oh well.

"Ready," Troy kind of startles me as he slips into the car.

I look over at him and smile before putting my keys in the ignition and buckling myself. This was going to be a long car ride, I could feel it.

"So it's nothing? Just a random pimple?" Briana asks me as we're walking out of the doctor's office and to my car.

I was explaining to her what Dr. Michaels told me about it. "Yeah, as long as it's not growing bigger or bleeding or anything like that, I shouldn't worry about it." And it wasn't. It wasn't uncomfortable or hurtful, it was just there and I had no idea why. I didn't know you could get pimples on your head.

"Hm, weird," she tells me as we reach my car. "Are you hungry? My mom told me she's making lasagna, your favorite."

Oh God. I didn't even have to answer her. She knew I would be down for her mom's lasagna. I always am. Even if I wasn't hungry. But I am, I'm starving. "I'm sorry if I speed," I tell her, laughing as I get into the car with her doing the exact same thing.

I pulled out as fast as I could and turned right to get out of this parking lot. Thank God her house was only 5 minutes away.

"So Troy came with you?"

Oh yeah, I briefly told her before I went in that Troy was here but we didn't get to discuss it too much because the nurse came and got me. "Yeah," I couldn't help but smile, "his sister goes to UC Irvine so I dropped him off there before coming here and yeah."

She reached over and turned on the air and pointed the vents to her. It was a little hot, but not really outside. I guess because my car had been sitting there for a little while. "He likes you, right?"

Briana knew everything. Even though we didn't live in the same town or saw each other as much as I would have liked to, I still talked to her almost everyday and clued her in on my life. Which meant harboring secret feelings for Troy. Well, they're pretty much only secret from him. And my family. All of my close friends know which is probably not something I should be telling them just in case someone eventually overhears. But I can't help it. Ugh.

"Ugh I wish," I turned right at the stop sign, "Briana, I'm a horrible person. I have Mark. I like Mark. Mark's nice and sweet and smart. Things that I LOVE in a guy. I shouldn't have these feelings."

"Gabriella, I've seen his picture," she tells me, "you'd be a horrible person if you DIDN'T like him."

Briana could always make me laugh. Since we were young, I remember always laughing around her and that's why I was so sad when she moved away because we would laugh and laugh and laugh.

"No, seriously, this isn't funny," I was still laughing a bit though, "it's serious and I need help. And I need to get over him."

And before I knew it, we were at her house and in her kitchen and her mom was taking the lasagna out of the oven as if on cue. And it smelled AMAZING. Beyond amazing actually.

"Gabs!"

I loved Beth just like a mom so I was so excited to see her. It's been a little while. "I've missed you aunt Beth!" I gave her a hug and then backed away and dug right into the plate of raspberries and blackberries she had out. I felt like they were just for me so of course I grabbed some. They were my absolute fav.

"Oh, we've missed you, too, sweetie," she tells me, going over to the sink and rinsing her hands, "fill me in. How was Spain, how's your boyfriend that I've heard little to nothing about, how's school. Tell me everything."

I laughed as I grabbed a few more raspberries and then took a seat on top of the counter. We all sat on top of the counter at her house. It was roomy and in the middle of the kitchen, so why not?

"Spain was absolutely breathtaking, so much fun," I threw in the last few raspberries into my mouth and swallowed before continuing, "I don't know if I could say it was life changing, but it was a really great experience. If I want to go away for college, I'd definitely be ready."

Beth patted her hands on the dish towel and then laid it out, coming over to me and Briana, "Oh God, I hope not because then I'd see you less than I already do and I would hate that."

Me, too. "I'm not planning on going far at all, don't worry," I assure her, "I'm just saying. But yeah, it was great. That's where I met Mark. You know he's from Santa Barbara and stuff. I think my mom likes him, but I'm scared to ask if she actually does."

Beth laughed and leaned back on the counter across from us, "Well, she hasn't told me anything so it's safe to assume she does," she clues me in, "how's that going? Has it been hard? I know he's not that far away, but it's not a simple drive."

"It's okay," I tell her truthfully. I talk to my mom about this from time to time, but she had her doubts about it so I didn't feel the most comfortable talking to her about it. "It's not easy. My last boyfriend was always there. If I wanted him to come over for movie night, he'd be there in 10 minutes so it's been an adjustment but I left Spain not being able to say goodbye to him so I don't know. He's what I look for in a guy."

And then I noticed Briana giving me a look and a sort of smile and I knew she wanted me to bring up Troy, but I couldn't. She was my mom's best friend and I was not planning on telling my mom about this. No way.

"What?" Beth asked, crossing her arms, "What's going on?"

"Yeah, Gabriella, what's going on?" Briana turned towards me and smirked at me. I was going to kill her. Okay, not really. But I didn't tell her not to mention it to her mom so I couldn't really be mad.

I guess I had to tell her. I mean, she could keep a secret right? "Um," I hopped off the counter and walked around it to the fridge to grab something to drink, "I kind of maybe like another guy but it's not that big of a deal and he's not interested so it's fine. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's eat!"

I open the fridge and grab myself an iced tea and then walk over to the table and sit down, pretending to wait for them to bring the food over but they're both in the same exact position they've been in and ugh. Beth finally speaks up though.

"You like another boy?"

I put my head down on the table and my arms around it and just nodded. I was embarrassed.

"Who is it?" I looked up and she was now standing in front of me with Briana following slightly behind. And then she took a seat on the chair in front of me and crossed her hands across the table. "Is it a big crush?"

I bit down on my lip and sighed. I couldn't answer yes. "I don't know, but um, his name's Troy and he's my neighbor..."

"Oh Troy?!"

What? "Briana!" I semi-yelled at her as she sat down in the chair next to her mom.

"No," Beth shakes her head, "She didn't tell me anything. Just because I haven't seen you in a while doesn't mean I haven't seen your mom. I've met him before! I went over quite a bit this summer since I was in and out of LA so I know him, he was hanging out at your house most days I was over."

Of course he was. He still is. And that's the worst part of it all. I can't go down to the kitchen and get a banana without seeing his beautiful face. These days, it hasn't been as much, but still. "Do you blame me?" I asked, now that she knows how he looks.

She laughed and shook her head, "Not for the reasons you think, though."

Huh?

"He's an attractive young man," she continues, "but he's also very polite and charming. And gracious and the way he would talk and hang out with Ava was the most precious thing, ever. It's so adorable to see Josh do it, but that's his sister, you expect it. This 17 year old is completely enamored with Ava and Ava is with him and it's so sweet to watch. He was just so kind and I don't know, I got a good vibe from him."

"So you get why I'm torn, Beth," I groan and sigh and put my head down and shake it and ugh. Everything you would do in a stressful situation. "I don't want to like him. I have Mark. Those 3 months in Spain were really something and I can't just throw that away for some guy who I don't even know if he likes me back, you know? But I do. And it freaking sucks because I don't know how to get rid of these feelings. I can't tell my brother to stop hanging out with him."

Briana was just sitting there watching her mom and I go back and forth in our conversation. I wonder how she felt about the whole thing since we didn't get into it in the car or over the phone these past couple of weeks, but I guess I'll get her mother's opinion first.

"You know, when I was a senior in high school, I was dating this guy Steve and he was great. He had all these qualities I really admired and he treated me like a princess. I thought I hit the jackpot with him," she starts telling me this story and I don't really know where it's going but I'll listen, "anyway, we were about a couple months in and I was so happy. I thought I couldn't get happier. But then my cousin brought his friend to my other cousins birthday party and his name was Ryan Carmichael and he was so attractive..."

Ryan Carmichael as in Ryan Carmichael, her husband? Okay, I think I know where she's going with this story. And I probably won't like it.

"And after that, I hung out with him and saw him whenever I'd hang out with my cousin because they were friends and sure enough, I got feelings for him. And of course I felt so bad because I had Steve. Steve was great. But Ryan, Ryan was just something else. I couldn't even explain to my friends what it was. Your mom told me I should just try things out with Ryan. And I didn't know. I mean, I knew I liked both but Steve and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, we were official. How could I let this happen you know? So after a lot of thought, I really just listened to my heart and I broke up with Steve and asked Ryan if he wanted to hang out. And well, you know the rest..."

Married for 21 years. 2 great kids. 3 dogs. A beautiful house. A beautiful marriage. The best life.

"Yeah, but Beth, maybe you were the exception," I tell her, trying to be realistic, "Mark could be the one for me and I could blow all of that if I give it a chance with Troy." Wait. What if he's not into me? "Not that I can. I have NO idea if he's into me or not."

"If Mark's meant to be yours, he will be. Regardless if you break it off and give Troy a chance," she tells me, getting up out of her seat, "I mean that in the least cliche way possible. It worked for me and it could definitely work for you. Or it could not. You'll never know."

Ugh. This is the absolute worst. I'm always saying that, but it is.

"And if you're sitting here complaining about it, it's because you can't deny your feelings and you don't want to," she points out, "I don't condone cheating, even though you're emotionally cheating already, but break it off with Mark and give Troy a chance."

It's easy for her to say. "I'll think about it," I tell her, truthfully, "I think my three months with Mark might have been different than your two months with Steve so I can't just sit here and say, yeah, absolutely, that's what I'll do! Because I really do like Mark. And I do believe it's something great."

The good about all of this is that Troy had no idea.

After having lunch, and a few hours of shopping with Briana and her mom, I texted Troy to ask if he was ready to go home. It was about 5:30 and he asked if I wanted to go have an early dinner with him and his sister. I mean, I couldn't say no. I was telling him I was ready to go so what could my excuse be?

None. So that's why I was sitting in front of this Mexican restaurant that was in between Irvine and Newport waiting for them. I didn't mind, I could always eat. But I think I'd rather be spending my time with Briana than this, but I couldn't say that to Troy. I didn't necessarily need to get home either, I just didn't want to keep him here all night which I could have easily done. I could have spent the night, even. But now I'm stuck going to dinner with them. Okay, that sounds harsh. I was hungry. Not TOO hungry, but I could definitely eat... like always.

"Hey."

I looked up from my iphone and saw Troy coming my way with this gorgeous brunette. I was jealous for a second but then remembered it was his sister. God, get a hold of yourself Gabriella. "Hi."

They were now standing in front of me and his sister was smiling at me and she took the liberty to introduce herself, "I'm Sam, it's so nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you!"

What? Oh my gosh! I think I'm starting to get some butterflies.

"Okay, well maybe not a whole lot, I just felt like that's something you say to someone you've never met before but have heard of," she clarifies with a small laugh, "Your brother... I know your brother."

Oh right. Yeah, of course it was Josh who she knew me by. Not Troy. Get a grip of yourself, Gabriella. Stop imagining that he actually likes you, too. "Oh, yeah," I laughed along with her, "Josh is my brother and I hope he said good things."

"Of course!"

And then we made our way into the restaurant and thankfully, they had a table for us so we didn't have to wait. I mean, it was almost 6 on a Saturday night so I thought for sure we were going to have to, but nope. They took us to a booth in the back and I slid in and Troy slid in right next to me and his sister was across from us. I liked this seating arrangement, but in my crazy head, I felt like we were a couple sitting on the same side. Ugh.

"Have you ever been here?" Sam asked me as opened her menu and started reading over the entrees.

I nodded then realized she was too busy looking down at her menu, "Yeah, a couple of times. It's really good, especially the enchiladas," I open my menu too even though I think I already know what I want, "I spend a lot of time here because my aunt and best friend live here."

"Oh really?" she asks, rhetorically, "I love it here. I mean, LA is my home, but it just gets to be too much sometimes. Here, I feel like it's less crowded even though it is a big place. I just really love it."

So do I. I want to move here. I probably will.

"What can I get you guys to drink?" Our waitress interrupted us as she put down a basket of chips and salsa. Yesss.

I order a coke, and so did Troy and Sam ordered an horchata. Dammit, I should have ordered that too. Oh well.

"I think I'm going to get the Burrito Supreme," Troy closed his menu and pushed it off to the side before grabbing his phone that was sitting where his menu was. He unlocked his screen and went to his text messages where he had one. I wasn't trying to be nosy, well maybe a little bit, but I noticed he was texting some girl named Simone. Ugh. I hate that name. I looked away before Sam or him could even see me looking. And I looked back at my menu.

But I already knew what I wanted. I wanted the cheese enchiladas with the rice and beans and a side of guacamole. It's what I always got when I come here.

"I'm going to trust you Gabriella, and I'm going to get the enchiladas," Sam tell me as she peers her eyes away from the menu and onto me, "If not, you're paying for them." I knew she was joking because it was followed by a laugh.

I think I like her. I don't know her that well, obviously, but she seems like a cool chick. "They're good, I promise."

"So what's it like having my brother as a new member of your family?"

Oh God, no. Can I please unhear that question? The thought of her implying that he's like another brother to me makes me sick since I like him for crying out loud! Really, I didn't even see him as that. My family members were around him WAY more than I was. Since school started, my mom's mentioned he's been around less, but in the summer, for sure they got to know him a lot and stuff. They probably do consider him family, I don't know.

Thank God Troy interjected, "I'm not a member of their family," he tells her with a slight laugh to not make it seem so serious like he doesn't want to be.

"I was away when he spent all summer at my house," I tell her, thinking now's a good time to answer since Troy prefaced it for me, "and I mean, we're friends, we have a class together, but when he's over, he's normally just with Josh... or my younger sister."

She nodded her head and then looked at Troy. It was one of those sibling looks that only they understood. Ugh. No fair. She then grabbed a couple of chips and dipped them in salsa, "do you have a boyfriend?" she asked me before stuffing them in her mouth, one by one.

Why did I think about it? Why did I stall? Of course I have a boyfriend. "Yeah," I tell her and she looks at me kind of funny which was expected.

"Yeah?"

I laughed, out of nervousness, "Sorry, I don't know, I do, it's long distance. I mean, I don't forget I have a boyfriend, but not seeing him everyday sometimes makes you feel like you don't."

And then her face softened a little bit and she nodded in agreement? "I did long distance my senior year after meeting this guy at a party. He lived about 10 minutes away and for a month and a half it was really good, but then he moved and we tried it out. And it didn't work. It's hard. Long distance is really hard."

Hm I was interested. I could use some tips. Wait, or maybe not since it didn't work out for her. But everyone's different, right? "Why didn't it work?" Oops, am I being intrusive? "...if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh no, not at all," she waved it off, "we didn't start the long distance thing loving each other or having a good, strong foundation. I think that's ultimately why. We cared about each other, and I don't think there was anything else going on except for the fact that it was too hard."

I guess that makes sense. "But what if you really like them and don't want to break it off?" I asked her, grabbing my drink. I felt weird asking that in front of Troy because I don't know, I liked him and I was talking about my boyfriend. Even though he has no idea, I still felt weird about it.

"I was in the same predicament. You think, but I like him enough to try to make this work," she explains to me, "but you have to face reality sometimes and realize that if it's not making you happy, you have to walk away."

I felt like I was in a cheesy romance movie. Troy was just sitting there stuffing his face with chips and I wish I could join him, but we already started this conversation and it was kind of my fault for asking so I have to keep it going or at least listen to what she had to say. "Yeah, I guess so."

"It's just, we weren't around each other to build that strong foundation, you know? You can't build trust over skype."

Yeah, true. I chuckled a bit as I grabbed a chip, "No, yeah, I get it. It's never easy."

"Are you having doubts?"

I didn't want to say the truth. It was embarrassing and I didn't want Troy to know. "Oh no, no, it's just hard."

"Well that's good," she tells me and then we're interrupted by our waitress coming back with our drinks and asking if we were ready to order. We were, so we did and I was kind of happy she interrupted when she did.

I wanted to get off the topic of Mark. It just felt uncomfortable.

"Where are we?" I asked Troy all groggily as I rubbed my eyes. But then I looked at the signs we were passing on the freeway and recognized exactly where we were.

He glanced over at me, "Good nap?"

I sat up and straightened myself out along with my hair and then pulled the mirror down and checked my makeup making sure I didn't smear my eyeliner after rubbing my eyes. It was a bit smeared but I fixed it. Good thing I didn't have mascara on or that would have clumped.

When we were done having dinner, and we were walking back to my car, he offered to drive back since I drove on the way or something like that. I don't really remember. I just remember passing him the keys without any hesitation. I didn't care if people drove my car. Well, I did a little bit, but he was a good driver so I trusted him. And so far, so good. We're about 10 minutes from my house. I mean, our houses. Lol.

"Oh it was great," I answered him. It really was. I had woken up way too early this morning and for no reason either. Just because.

He laughed and turned the radio down a bit, "We're almost home," he clues me in as if I haven't figured it out yet. But I just nod. "Can I ask you a question?"

I was a little bit worried. I hate when people ask me that. Why can't they just come out and ask me the question? "Sure."

"It's not a big deal, I was just wondering why you lied to my sister?" he asks me as he exits the freeway.

Ummmm what? "What are you talking about?" I asked, half clueless. I know he's referring to something about Mark, but I don't know exactly what. "About what exactly?"

He came to a stop at the stop light and adjusted himself in his seat a bit. "I don't want you to be offended or anything, I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, I just, you said you were happy with Mark and I feel like that's a lie."

I was about to open my mouth to say something, but he kept going, so I let him.

"I know you hardly know my sister and you probably don't want her knowing your business, but I really think she could have helped you out if you came to her with the truth having gone through a similar situation. I don't know."

Honestly, I didn't know whether to be upset that he thinks I'm unhappy in my relationship or flattered and giddy that he cares enough to realize that I am in fact unhappy with the way my relationship was going. I'm not completely unhappy but in some aspects, I am. And he gets that.

"I'm not mad," I start off with that and then turn towards him a bit as he pushes on the gas pedal to turn left. "It's just not something I've really come to terms with. I haven't even told my friends."

"Oh," he tells me as if he was just making up some bullshit lie to see if I would confess. But I knew he wasn't. He just now probably felt uncomfortable.

I sighed. I was finally going to talk about it out loud how I really felt and it was to a boy I liked. What the heck. This is all too fucked up. How did I even get in this predicament? I've talked to people about how it's hard and how sometimes I don't know what to do. But nobody knows how unhappy I've been lately and how I'm thinking about pulling the plug. And half of it has to do with Troy. I'm unhappy because my boyfriend is in another city and it's not like we text 24/7. No, that's not how our relationship has been. I'm unhappy because I went from having a whirlwind romance in freaking Spain to having to come home to long distance. I'm unhappy because Troy Bolton showed up in my life and made me like him and made me feel like a horrible person. I'm just unhappy with the romance in my life. I'm happy with how school's going. But relationships? Unhappy. Unhappy. Unhappy.

But first I had to know how he knew. Is he some sort of psychic? "How do you know I'm unhappy?"

He put the turn signal on and turned right on a street, heading into our neighborhood. "I'm good at reading people," he shrugs as if it's not big deal he's here reading my mind, heart and soul. Okay, I'm being dramatic, "and not in a bad way, I just don't feel you're the same girl I met when you first came home. Not that your personality changed or anything, just your mood maybe. You're still happy and outgoing, the same person I assume you've always been, but to me, it just seems a little forced. Like something's bothering you and I know it can't be school, you're getting straight A's. I know it's not your parents, your mom has even said you guys never fight. So, I'm just guessing it's about Mark, since you still hang out with all your friends."

Hmm.

"I could be completely wrong, though!"

He wasn't. "You aren't," I told him, looking out the window. Even though we were in our neighborhood, it was still another 5 minute drive or so. It was a big neighborhood and we were unfortunately at the end of it all. "I don't want to be unhappy. Mark is great. Well, maybe not so great since it doesn't seem like he's making a big enough effort to keep this going, but he still makes one and I can't be mad at that. I just, I never realized I needed someone who could be with me whenever I needed them. Not like I have to be dependent, but I think I just need to know that they're there for me- physically."

Oh grosss. Did it just make it seem like I needed sex? God, I hope not.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" he suggests, "You guys can easily see each other every weekend. Santa Barbara is not far at all and is actually ideal for a long distance relationship, if you ask me."

Nope. I didn't want him to try to fix things mainly because it meant that he had no interest in me. "I don't want to have to ask him," I looked out the window as we passed Phil's house. I loved that he lived so close. Sometimes I jogged there and then his mom would make me eat pie to make my jog go to waste, but I didn't care. And now I'm getting distracted. Ugh. Troy. I turned back to him and gave him a weak smile, "I just wanna go back to Spain."

It was the honest truth, but at the same time, even though my life is crazy, complicated and full of confusion right now, I wanted to be right here. Because even if Troy is never anything more, I love having his friendship and his company. Something about him just made me feel safe, comfortable and like I could talk to him about seriously anything and he'll be there to give me his honest opinion accompanied by a few laughs. Okay, maybe a lot of laughs.

"I'm sorry," he tells me.

And then we're driving in and out of streets, he's taking a shortcut he swears gets you home faster, but I didn't know. I was happy with the route I always took. And before I knew it, we were in front of our houses, pulling into my driveway. Maybe his way was better. I guess he's just the best at everything.

"I shouldn't have said anything, it's your life, who am I to say if you're happy or not."

I appreciate his apology, but I don't need it. At this point, we're friends and friends should be able to tell each other things, things the other person may or may not want to hear. So I didn't care. He could voice his opinion to me any day of the week.

I grabbed my purse and opened the car door and got out. I closed the door and looked at my phone. It was 8:30 and still a bit early, but I had no other plans so I was just going to head upstairs, take a bubble bath and probably head to bed. I had church early in the morning, anyway.

"It's okay," I finally told him as we're both standing in my driveway, a little bit awkwardly, if you ask me.

He's giving me a small smile and he hands me my keys after he locks the car, "I hope Mark realizes how good he has it," he tells me as our hands touch a bit in the process of him giving me my keys.

And my heart is skipping beats and I have goosebumps all over my arms.

Why did he have to say shit like that? Is he purposely trying to mess with my mind... and my heart? It's not fair. But before I could even respond, he's turned around and headed towards his house, but when he reaches the end of my sidewalk, he turns around. I'm still standing there like an idiot, staring at him.

"Goodnight," he simply tells me.

And then I slowly turn around, smiling from cheek to cheek even though he just made everything worse. Everything.