Where My Foreboding Thoughts Lead - Chapter 10
Yosuke
AN: Super short chapter, technically the Part 2 to the previous chapter. I guess I could've left the two segments together in one chapter but that would've made it super long compared to the other chapters. Meh.
As I said in the previous chapter, I am taking some creative liberties with Zidane's story here. I understand everyone might not agree with what I'm doing, but that's okay. If you have issues with what I'm doing, feel free to open a discussion about it in the comments.
Final Fantasy 9 and its characters do not belong to me.
A week later, Zidane left the village. He had assisted with Vivi's funeral but barely had the strength to give the little headstone more than a few words of solace. Vowing to return one day, he did little more than wave goodbye to Kuja, who didn't return the gesture, and patted dear little Mikoto on the head, smiling faintly as he turned to leave. Mikoto hadn't understood the sentimentality in his departure, but held fast the promise that he would return again someday, hopefully on less grim terms.
Zidane moved on to Daguerro, disregarding the water flooding his boots as he searched endless shelves of novels, reference guides, encyclopedias, and research material for any clue as to what he would need next. Upon finding his desired book, he tore the pages he would need right out, shoved them in his pocket, and left with nary an eye cast his way. Yes, he was a thief and he would always be a thief. It just came so natural to him.
Next stop was in Dali, where he hand-delivered the pages to a certain inn keeper and left specific directions along with a few possibly-empty physical threats to follow said instructions or "face his double-bladed wrath". The inn keeper, remembering the Genome quite well from his last visit and how easily he'd dealt with the Black Waltz on the airship field, quickly complied and ran off to begin his secret task. Zidane left Dali, content.
A hefty amount of time was spent in Lindblum after that, catching up with Tantalus and making them swear to secrecy that he was alive and well. For the most part, Zidane felt compelled to relive his days of joy, when he acted with the theatre troupe and amazed enraptured audiences with his many talents. He enjoyed it very much, and lived out every day for four months on the Tantalus stage in Lindblum's theatre district, portraying a variety of characters in many disguises to feel that breath of fresh air in his lungs, the air that wasn't contaminated with wars and power-hungry queens, raging Eidolons or planetary destruction. It was just Tantalus, his brothers, his first, true home. He was alive again and could live freely there. Well, freely for the most part.
After four months, Zidane checked in on Dali again, happy to find that his secret project was going as well as he'd expected, and when he returned another two weeks later, everything was completed.
However, Zidane felt a growing twinge of rage as he stood in the quaint, quiet town, staring at the machinery that had crafted so easily the black mage soldiers. They no longer ran on the Mist, as that part of the Iifa Tree was long dead, but the residents had found a way, much as resilient idiots would, and shortly before Queen Brahne's death, the production had come to a stop in that town. But with whatever means they used then to run the machinery, things were still being created. Things Zidane had "asked" for.
The machines ran slower than before, and it had taken a full four and a half months, but before him stood a row of nine, just nine, little black mages. The pages from Daguerro told, in detail, the magic of memory and the science behind artificial life. Mages had existed long before Zidane's time... Someone had simply been smart enough to write down the details of their creation in the book Zidane had found in Daguerro, and with a page written by Zidane himself, listing everything the mages would need to know, the residents in Dali had successfully created the next Vivi. Or, in this case, Vivis.
It was always hard to say goodbye, and the true Vivi would always be gone, but it wasn't fair that a part of him couldn't continue to live on as a human could, through their children. A memory could easily exist within another person, that much had been proven true in the mysterious realm of Memoria, when Zidane, Garnet, Vivi, and each comrade had seen with their own eyes and mind many different things they'd never even witnessed for themselves in person. Memories lived on, they moved to new minds to always exist, to prove that the past was real.
Vivi would live on as a memory, but he could also live on in spirit. The new black mages Zidane had commissioned would never be Vivi himself, but they could carry on his lineage. The newly created mages would have the same life expectancy and abilities as their predecessor, but they'd only be a small part of who Vivi was. It was up to them to create lives for themselves, even if they decided on their own that it would not be for Vivi but for a future they wanted to live in as humans in the present world.
Part of Zidane knew it was wrong to create those mages out of grief, but he also knew nothing but good would come from those mages' existence. The black mages would live on, one way or another. Everyone deserved to live. Kuja had taught him that much.
The mages, somehow or another, managed to develop their own personalities individual of each other, and Zidane could only thank the descriptive pages he'd given to the inn keeper. Stories of times shared with Vivi were given in great detail to the eager little mages, who held fast to the idea that their predecessor was a great hero, to which Zidane could do nothing but agree wholeheartedly. They were taken to Black Mage Village to greet their elders and the odd crowd of Genomes, who still did not understand social interaction.
Zidane tried to introduce them to Kuja, however the older Genome only grumbled out a weak "Dammit, they're still multiplying..."
Once the mages were safely in the village's care and told to "leave when you feel like you're ready, you'll be fine", Zidane once again waved farewell to the small town and headed for Treno, where he took up residence for three months, gambling and reconnecting with old friends. He hired a spy at one point to go and take a look in Alexandria for him, to see how Dagger and his friends were doing.
The spy, a good friend of Zidane's with a fantastic knack at disguise, returned with news that Eiko had been adopted by the Regent Cid of Lindblum and his wife Lady Hilda. Freya and Amarant had not been heard from for a while, Steiner and Beatrix were the happy couple of the castle, Quina was employed as head chef in the castle's kitchen, and Dagger... well, Dagger was just as beautiful as ever, a loving and peace-keeping queen, regal in every regard but quiet and often staring at the horizon as if waiting for someone to arrive.
Zidane had expected that his reaction upon hearing of his lovely princess would have been something likened to a lovesick anxiety, a swelling in his heart and a need to see her but dammit, I'm not ready to face her yet! That was what he had expected to feel but instead, he felt something entirely different.
Zidane was angry. Very angry.
Why? Why was he angry? Dagger was safe and sound. Perhaps heartbroken, but the fact that she was ruling Alexandria peacefully and complacently should have been enough for the thief. It wasn't. Zidane was angry. Why was Dagger sad? Because he was gone? Why couldn't he do anything about that? Why couldn't he return to her? Because he wasn't ready? Because he was too much of a coward to look her in the face after parting from her so many months ago? Because he wasn't sure how she would react when she saw that he was indeed alive?
Was he angry at himself? Yes. Yes, definitely at himself. And Steiner. Why Steiner? And Beatrix, too? What had they done? A lot. Where were they? Off being happy in their own corner of the castle? How dare they be so happy when the woman they'd sworn their swords and lives to was crying herself to sleep at night. Those inconsiderate, asinine fools. Who were they to be happy when their queen was not?
Why did Dagger have to cry? Why did Dagger have to be upset? Why couldn't someone fix this for her?
And then there was Vivi's death. If Zidane leaving her hadn't been hard enough, then what had it felt like when Vivi had suddenly died? There was no anger for Vivi, not at all. There was only anger for the timing. Why did so many bad things have to happen to Dagger? Why did she have to suffer so much? Why? Why? It wasn't fair!
Before he knew it, Zidane found a sword pointed at his throat. When he next focused his eyes, he saw the spy he was friends with holding a broadsword to the Genome's neck, a look of shock and anger on his face, and when Zidane glimpsed around, he saw the table he'd been sitting at in the rundown pub in the slums shattered in a corner and a man unconscious beneath the pile. Bar patrons stared in silent shock at Zidane, who gradually blinked away the red he'd been seeing and slowly backed away, heading towards the door with his hands in the air.
"What happened?" he'd muttered.
"Why don't you tell us?" the spy retorted, lowering the sword a little. "I just told you your girlfriend is doing fine and you threw the damn table against the wall!"
He'd done that? Why? How? He hadn't even been aware that he'd done it! How could he have thrown a whole table and not be aware of it?
Wary of the eyes piercing holes into him with their stares, Zidane slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his reticule, tossing it onto the ground before turning and running from the pub.
Zidane's destination after that was nameless. He felt listless, lost, and frustrated. He'd been so angry over Dagger's circumstances yet he had no proper, or sane, way of venting that anger. How could he possibly even have known if that was the first time he'd ever done such a thing? Throwing that table in the pub? He hadn't been aware that he'd done it. So how many other times had something similar happened? Was he losing control of himself? What was this anger and why was it manifesting itself in such a terrible way?
He couldn't stay in Treno. The atmosphere would only make things worse for him, but wandering the wide continent didn't hold any better prospects, and as he gradually felt his feelings of anger and fear for his princess heighten, the Genome finally decided, after a year of being apart from her, that it was finally time to return to her side, but not because he thought he was ready. Far from it; things were getting bad for him and he didn't want to put anymore stress on her to take care of his newly-misshapen habits. But the thought of seeing Dagger again, seeing her smile and holding her in his arms, calmed his rising inner-turmoil so much so that his fears of upsetting her were temporarily quelled, and he finally had the clarity to return to Lindblum. Setting things up with Tantalus to appear in the show's annual performance in Alexandria, the Prima Vista set sail to where it all began, and where it would all begin again.
"I beseech thee, wondrous moonlight, grant me my only wish!
Bring my beloved Dagger to me!"
"I dare say your flair for storytelling is about as grand as your need for heroics," Kuja drawled, standing from his cot and making his way to the door, which took a total of two and a half steps. With a heated glare at his brother, Zidane sighed and conceded to move out of his way. Kuja silently slipped through the door and into the blunted sunlight, Zidane and the two ladies following.
Kuja's gait was slow and tedious, making his way to the grassy area near the trees, suddenly desiring very much to be as far away from the black mages and other Genomes as he could. Having to listen to such a detailed story involving all of that despicable village's occupants made his head throb.
Zidane, Garnet, and Beatrix followed quietly, though it didn't stay that way for long.
"Zidane?" Garnet started, suddenly afraid to touch him. "Can't you... Can't you tell me more? There's so much left. I have so many questions..."
"Do you have to follow me?" Kuja snapped, not even bothering to glimpse behind him. "I left the hut for a reason. I want to be alone."
"Aw, but I missed you, big brother!" Zidane teased, jogging to catch up with the pale figure and bumping his shoulder lightly with his own. "I thought we should spend more time together!"
"I really should have killed you when I had the chance," came the quiet retort as the two continued wandering towards the woods, the ladies ultimately ignored for the moment.
"Zidane!" Beatrix hollered. "You're not finished yet!" But she was subtly silenced by the stilled hand of her queen. The two women stopped walking, opting to let the men continue on without them as they watched in silence. Garnet hardly had the strength to breathe anymore, let alone think about everything that had suddenly been put in front of her. So many details, so much time Zidane had spent away from her, doing things for her or in spite of her.
Zidane had rescued Kuja from the Iifa Tree, despite how the older Genome had sworn to end them all himself. He'd given him a place to stay, a future to look forward to, though that future did seem rather vacant for the most part. What would Kuja do now? Spend the rest of his days in that village? How long did Kuja have left? Was he as powerless as Zidane had led them to believe? No magic, no strength... Kuja was weak, as weak as a newborn. What could that man possibly do with his time left on Gaia? He surely did not contribute to the village, and he was welcome nowhere else on that planet. Could Zidane really make such an optimistic future for him?
The bouts of anger bothered her as well. The thief had started getting angry over thoughts of her suffering long before he'd ever returned to Alexandria. Why did her well-being make him so agitated? Because he loved her? Sure, Garnet would be upset if she ever found Zidane to be in danger himself, or hurt or lonely, but the extremes that Zidane suffered through... It just didn't make sense. Why was he being put under such stress?
Then there was the issue of the Vivi copies. Garnet was all but floored to know that her own lover had been behind their production. She wasn't angry, certainly not. She simply wished that she had been consulted before making such a grand decision, something that would affect the lives of the people Vivi cared about. To take such a liberty as to create so many lives from a life that had already passed without letting anyone else know, without asking anyone else... Garnet wasn't sure how she felt about that.
Who was this Zidane now? How had so much changed that she was almost beginning to wonder if he was even the same person anymore? It frightened her to think that the thief may have been right about becoming a different person, and it seemed very likely that that change had already taken place. Was he even still her Zidane? How much of him was left?
"Your Majesty?" A voice broke through to Garnet's thoughts, jerking her awake as she turned in her spot to glimpse at her general. Beatrix stared back at her with nothing but concern in her expression. "Your Majesty," the older woman spoke again. "You're crying."
The queen gasped a little, wiping her cheek with one gloved hand and staring at the moistened leather. "I..." she tried, but words suddenly failed her. She didn't want to talk to Beatrix about it. She wanted to talk to Zidane.
So why was she suddenly so scared to be near him?
Chapter 10 - end
To Be Continued
AN: Honestly I don't care for the whole "Vivi 2.0" thing. I wanted some kind of explanation as to why there were suddenly more Vivis and I figured I'd try to create some semblance of a reason, but I wish I could've been a little more creative than that. It seems terribly out-of-character for Zidane to do something like that but I figured I could just chalk it up to his personality "disorder" in this fiction. I don't know if it's been explained anywhere by the game's creators why there was suddenly more Vivis, but I couldn't find it. If you happen to know why, please let me know in a comment.