A/N: Good lord, it's been so long. I missed you guys. Betcha thought I'd given up on this, huh? Nooopppe. I just like to keep you guessing. And I'm a lazy shit.
As always, thank you for all the lovely comments, favorites, follows, whatever. Even if you're just here reading stealthily, thank you.
Special shoutout to Threatens and Adores, my bae of baes. I kinda thought we'd be over our weird fanfiction phase by now. Let's be real, I'm glad we aren't.
XXX
It was easy for Bonnie to fall asleep that night—her eyes hurt, just being open, and exhaustion pulled her down like gravity.
She had curled up on the sofa, staring into the crackling fire she'd started despite the warm weather. This was after the fits of sobs had left her body, leaving her hollow and unbearably tired. Still, the fire spell was easy. It rose from her fingertips before she'd even formed the thought to do it.
She didn't know when Kai had left the room. She'd turned around at some point and he was no longer standing there, that was all. He'd said some things before he left, about the eclipse, Damon, the prison world, but she hadn't wanted to listen, and when she saw that he was gone, she didn't know whether to be glad or lonely or both.
But she was certain she didn't want to hear more theories or debates or half-baked hopes. She'd been let down enough times.
She woke somewhere early in the morning, before the sun. The fire was embers now, just on the edge of burning itself out. And suddenly she was wide awake, her feet softly hitting the floor and padding towards the kitchen. It was hunger that eventually forced her upright, otherwise she would have gladly stayed staring blankly at the ceiling until the eclipses burned themselves out.
Whether she'd wanted it or not, she found company in the kitchen.
Kai was standing before the stove, his back to her, and Bonnie could hear the crackling of something on the burner. Edging closer, she saw that it was a skillet of scrambled eggs which he was pushing around methodically with the side of a spatula.
She considered backing out of the room again, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was too tired to care about appearances or stubborn so-called-moral principles or whatever it was she usually cared about. So she sat down across the table from him and waited only a few moments before speaking.
"No pancakes?" she asked dryly.
Kai turned around, pleased and surprised to see her.
"Bonnie," he said. "Uh…" he gestured towards the skillet. "Yeah. You get tired of the same thing every day, you know?"
"Yeah," she said sardonically. "No kidding."
She fiddled with a stray fork on the table while Kai took the eggs off of the burner. She didn't say anything, letting the quiet in. She hated it, and yet, right now, she could almost pretend it was soothing.
"You want some?" he asked, expecting her to be too proud to say yes.
But instead she just said, absently, "okay."
In slightly perplexed silence, he gathered two plates and forks from the cupboard and brought them over to the table. Bonnie was staring down into the wood grain, lost in thought.
She still wasn't saying anything, and Kai hated silence more than she did.
"Got a story for you," Kai said, sitting down opposite her. "I was twelve years old. The Gemini were having this big to-do in Sacramento, some anniversary of some elder's initiation or whatever. Big deal. It was this week-long thing, people traveling from all over, talking shop, having a big circlejerk, you know. Of course, me, being the abomination and all, I got left behind."
Kai pushed the eggs onto the two plates as he talked. Half to Bonnie, half to him.
"I was psyched, besides the whole abandonment thing. I mean, a whole week with no parents, no coven, no anything. And best of all, they'd hired this, like, textbook hot babysitter to look after me. Like Daryl Hannah in her prime. Bleach blonde hair , crazy long legs. I don't know what they were thinking. That she'd work for cheap, I guess. She was a broke college student from PSU, she probably needed the cash."
Bonnie blinked, passively letting the words in. She didn't know what the point of this was supposed to be, and she didn't much care.
"Anyway, she was nice enough, mostly just talked to her friends on the phone while I played Donkey Kong. But she seemed to think I was younger or more of a dumbass than I was. She had this weird thing about me being near the stove, or fire, or even a lighter. It kinda pissed me off, since back then I was just getting into stir frys and, well, you do need a stove for that, duh."
"But she was stubborn about it. I sorta wonder now if they told her to be wary of me. I don't know why; it's not like I had any magic of my own. Anyway, after a while I started carrying a box of matches whenever she was around, and I'd light one every once in awhile in front of her face just for the hell of it. Just to mess with her. She told me they weren't a toy, but of course that just pissed me off even more. And one time she was yelling at me, her hair swinging down and hitting me in the face, and I just...moved the lit match a little to the right, that was all."
"She must've had in a ton of hairspray, because that pretty blonde hair went up like a candle. She looked like a burning Q-tip. It was pretty funny, actually. She shrieked her head off and ran all around the house until the fire finally went out. Of course, by then she had burns all over her head. She was choking on the smoke and everything. It was gross. Her hair was just gone, and I think I heard it never grew in exactly right again. The coven had to do all sorts of memory spells on her so she wouldn't talk. Made her think she got into a bad accident with a flat iron."
"I still remember Mom coming home after that trip, smelling the burnt skin and going, "God, what has that thing gotten itself up to now?"
Kai stopped short, maybe aware that he'd shared too much. He smiled placidly and said, "Hmm, good times. Mommy dearest."
Bonnie was taking slow bites of her scrambled egg, listening through she wasn't looking up. When she'd let his story settle in her brain, she asked, "Why are you telling me this?"
Kai considered this for a moment. "I don't know," he said. "Something just reminded me."
She twirled her fork, wondering what he was searching for. Sympathy, or intimidation, or just an end to the silence. Whatever the reason, she heard herself start to reply in kind.
"I used to send my mom a Mother's Day card every year," Bonnie said quietly. "She wasn't around when I was growing up. I'd bike to the store and pick out something I thought she would like. I imagined she liked flowers and vintage photographs. Eighteen years I sent those things. Never got a reply."
"What about your Dad?" asked Kai.
"He was around. Sort of. He was always so busy. It was Grams who really taught me everything." She looked down, feeling the beginnings of a lump in her throat and trying to stop it. "I miss her," she said, and that simple admission nearly broke her down to tears. I miss so much, was what she meant, and she didn't have to say it.
Bonnie pressed a hand to the center of her forehead. Somebody had told her once that you could stop yourself from crying that way. It worked a little. Her throat unlocked and she let out a shuddery sigh.
"I hate doing that in front of you," she said, her eyes closed, keeping her voice steady with a conscious effort.
"Doing what?" he asked.
She lowered her hand. "Falling apart like that." When she opened her eyes again, Kai was looking at her, uncharacteristic concern on his face. "It makes me feel like I'm losing…whatever it was we were playing."
Kai reached for her hand across the table. Or started to, but he hesitated, withdrew again, and when he did take her hand, it was a little too hard.
"Listen, Bon, this whole eclipse thing, I know there's gotta be—"
"Don't," she said. She tried to move her arm back, but he gripped it with renewed, desperate force. "Hey," said Kai harshly. "We're still in the game, okay?" Like a sullen child, she refused to look at him, and he grasped her face with his other hand, forcing her to face him. "We're still in the game."
Bonnie fit her hand around his wrist, half-heartedly trying to pull him away. "Stop it."
"There's a way," he said stubbornly and evenly.
"I don't want to hear—"
She was cut off by the clatter of dishes as Kai brought his fist down against the table.
"Just—" he started, but he didn't seem to know what came after. The word was hanging there, loose in the air, waiting to be caught. He was breathing hard and shallow, suddenly, silently searching her face for some sign that she would listen. His eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips, and Bonnie knew what he was about to do before it happened. She didn't pull away.
He dipped his head down, pulled her chin forward until their lips collided. And it was a collision—her jaw tight, Kai's hand at the back of her neck, drawing her painfully close. Bonnie parted her lips, let him in. She could blame it on the night, on a primal need for physical contact. Not that it mattered. There would be nobody to rationalize to now, nobody but herself.
As if in response to her thought, she felt a sickeningly familiar pressure on her forehead, as if someone were trying to cut their way in with a heavy, dull knife. She knew what that pain meant, though she didn't know why. Kai was forcing his way inside her head again. His hands were hard against her, as if they could somehow sink right through her skin.
He was unbearably sad, she thought, as sad and pathetic as she was. There was no point to this pain anymore. What else did he think he could take away? What did he have to gain, besides mindlessly passing the time?
Fine. Let him have his fun. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a struggle, not now. She pressed her hips into the side of the kitchen table, leaning on him as much as she could, twining her fingers through his short hair like some pantomime of a gentle lover. And as easily as letting out a breath, she lowered her defences and let him tumble inside her mind.
Just like that, the space behind her eyes was set on fire. She saw pools of congealing blood, heard screaming, pleading. Smelled smoke fading into the purple Portland sky. Saw the eclipse flaring overhead. It was something Kai was trying to show her, something he knew he couldn't convince her of with only words. And there was an idea settling quietly in her head that hadn't been there a second ago. An awful idea, with an awful ring of truth. It was his idea, growing in her mind like a virus. And she wanted to say it out loud, but the smoke was rising higher, choking her, and the world had turned red no matter how tightly she shut her eyes-
She pulled away with a jolt, surprised to find her feet still on the faded kitchen tile.
Instinctively, Bonnie stumbled backwards, pushing her chair aside.
"What was—"
"You know what that was," Kai said. "You wanted to know if there was a way."
"A blood sacrifice," she said slowly. She ran a hand through her hair, smoothing the edges where Kai had tangled it. "You think I hadn't considered...it wouldn't be nearly enough—"
"Magical blood. I've seen it, Bon. It's not pretty, but it's worth it if it works."
"That's what it is. That's what it takes."
"Yeah," said Kai.
"You're sure," she said.
"Cross my heart, Bon. Stick a needle in my eye, that whole thing."
For a moment, she allowed herself to believe it would work. It was almost elegant, in a brutal, reckless way. There were a thousand ways it could go horribly wrong. But if it did work...if she could find her ticket out...
"This is insane," she said.
He didn't dispute that. "It could work," said Kai stubbornly.
"It's probably more than likely we'll both die, you know that, right?"
Kai held her gaze, considering. He knew. And it terrified him, if he was being honest. A new and unpleasant feeling. Twenty years and there had been nothing much to be scared of. But his hands were shaking now. A fluke, he told himself. This whole fear thing. It could happen to anyone.
He shrugged, playing at nonchalance. "It's something to do," he said.
"If we do this…" said Bonnie slowly. "And if, by some miracle, it works...it still doesn't change anything. On the other side I'll still—"
"Bonnie, Bonnie, dearest darling vicious killer," he gripped her by the arms. "One thing at a time?"
She let out a breath, nodded. It made things easier, not to think about what came next. Just act. There was nothing else to do. "Okay," she said. "Okay. When?"
"Tomorrow." He said, and with a small thought, added, "Well, actually, today."
Bonnie glanced at the clock on the wall. It was near four in the morning. The eclipse was eight hours away.
"Tomorrow?" Bonnie repeated, incredulous. She stepped back and his hands fell back to his sides. "No, no, no. We've got to prepare, to train. Something."
Kai fixed her with a pointed stare. "You think you can train for something like this? We're as ready as we'll ever be. Do you really want to wait?"
She was scared, too. So scared she almost could have put it off forever. But when she thought about finally getting out of here, even the slightest chance of it…the idea brought adrenaline back into her heart, intoxicating and terrifying and powerful.
"No," she said, dispelling the unsteadiness in her voice. "No. You're right. Tomorrow."
Kai smiled, and Bonnie was crazy enough to reciprocate.
"That's my magic charm."
XXX
Bonnie tried to go back to sleep, in theory to rest for what was coming, but she should have known it would be useless. Lots of tossing and turning with her eyes wide open, and now the clock by her bed was telling her she had seven hours to go.
Kai was still downstairs, shuffling around wide awake. He was making chocolate milkshakes, inevitably left to melt in the early morning sun.
Six o' clock. Six hours to go.
She had finally fallen into a fitful kind of sleep, her hands unwittingly clutched into fists that she held to her chest. The light outside was pale gold, but she'd sent a spell twisting through the windowpanes, creating the illusion of midnight to help her to sleep.
When did wake up, her bed was strangely comfortable and warm, clashing with the anxious half-dreams lingering in her head.
Bonnie opened her eyes. Kai's arm was slung across her body, his head tucked against the back of her neck. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, some faded vintage t-shirt and jeans.
She might have jumped up, pushed him away. But, no, too easy. This might be her last chance, and it was his turn to be rattled. Slowly, she reached for his hand and pulled it close to her chest. All the heat that he'd built up between them, she collected it at the center of her, channeled it straight into her heart, as bright and hot as an open flame. And with a small smile, she watched his hand start to singe against her skin.
With a yelp of pain, Kai shot up out of bed, landing on the floor. He held his hand by the wrist, his palm turning shiny and red.
"What the hell?" he yelled as Bonnie rolled languidly over to face him.
She adjusted her head on the pillow. "That's what you get for creeping on me," she said matter-of-factly.
Kai flexed his fingers and winced. "Harsh, Bon."
She sighed softly and stretched her legs, enjoying the warmth his body had left behind. "Do you scar? I mean, you don't die, so…"
He shook his head. "No. All part of the whole never-gonna-die-never-gonna-leave package."
"Hmm," said Bonnie. "That's too bad." She closed her eyes again, stubbornly wishing she could fall back asleep. But it was pointless—her heart was pounding in her chest, sending waves of magic through her blood. It beat like it was making up for lost time. Or time she might still lose.
If she listened close, she could hear Kai's fast breathing start to quiet as his hand healed. He was still on the floor, sitting up against the dresser. When he was able to form a fist again, he closed his hand and turned back to her as if nothing had happened.
"So," said Kai. "Big day."
"Yeah," Bonnie said lightly. She finally, slowly, sat up. Her back was to him as she pushed back the covers and let her bare feet hit the floor.
"Any second thoughts?" he asked her.
She opened her closet doors. "No," she said. "You?"
"It was my idea, Bonnie-Boo."
Bonnie smiled softly to herself. "You've had a lot of ideas you haven't followed through on. What about ruining me?"
"Hey, we've still got a few hours, right?"
When she turned back around, Kai had his head tilted to the side. He'd been mentally tracing the curve of the back of her thigh to her waist, the outline of her hips. She'd only been sleeping in just her underwear and a camisole. In some distant, hazy past, Bonnie might have blushed and covered herself up in a blanket at that look, felt dirty knowing what thoughts were running through his head. Through his head, which held things you shuddered to read about in the newspapers. But now the magic inside her gave a rush of approval. Desire meant power, it reminded her. Use it.
Fuck, marry, kill, she thought to herself, and had to fight not to laugh at it all.
XXX
The sun was coming up high and bright against the trees as Bonnie and Kai made their way through the woods. They were headed to the cave where they had first used the Ascendant—where it had smashed irreparably and thrown them into the mess they were in now. Kai had brought his backpack full of 1994 memorabilia—baseball cards, laser disc copies of Jurassic Park and The Fugitive, a case of Zima, and every CD he could fit in the space left—though Bonnie kept telling him that it didn't sound like they'd be able to take anything with them.
Still, she brought a backpack with Ms. Cuddles in it, just in case.
They stopped just outside the mouth of the cave, sunlight streaming over the jagged rocks below.
"Ladies first," said Kai.
"We're jumping?"
"Well, yeah. You don't know another way in, do you?"
"Damon and I used rope," Bonnie said.
"Kinky."
"Shut up, Kai."
She stared down into the darkness, and her hand unconsciously went to her stomach, tracing the scar there. She didn't like the idea of being trapped down there in the dark again.
"You go first," she said.
"Oookay," said Kai. "You'll have to give me a hand."
He knelt down and gently dropped the backpack first, waited to make sure he didn't hear any shattering plastic. He didn't—the drop must have looked farther than it was. After he was satisfied nothing of his had broken, he held out a hand to Bonnie.
She took it, roughly, and helped him lower himself down into the pit, until he was dangling a few feet above the ground, held up by her hands.
Of course it occurred to her to let him drop a few times during the process. But she didn't. She was trying to be practical today.
He let go and landed on his feet with a soft "oof" on the cold dirt.
When he looked up at her, the bright sun sparked in his eyes. "Come on down," he called. "It's so nice and dank down here."
Her feet hesitated at the edge of the crumbling hole in the ground. The sun that felt so warm and comforting against her back also reminded her that they only had so much time. Into the dark, then.
She slowly eased herself down, until he could touch the bottoms of her shoes, and then she let go and found herself caught in his arms. She hadn't been expecting that—or wanting it, honestly. She didn't much feel like playing damsel in distress.
The air in the cave was damp and cool, in harsh contrast to the warmth of Kai's hands on the small of her back. He let her slide down, and they were nose to nose for a split second before her feet hit the ground. Kai took a few moments longer than he should have to let go of her, pressed tight against him like some action movie poster, until she wrenched herself away.
"What now?" she asked tersely.
"Time to Gemini…-ify," Kai said, and then frowned. "No. That doesn't work. Time to…Gemini the place up? No. That's worse. Okay. Fine. Technical. Time to make this place Gemini ground."
She had seen this in his head. They had to consecrate the ground, make it ready for the spell by turning it into Gemini soil. First thing they'd need, his vision had shown her:
"A token from my coven's history," said Kai, as he pulled something from his backpack. "Check."
He tossed it face up on the ground. It was a photograph, crumpled and old, of two smiling kids at a summer barbeque…
The little shit.
Bonnie had assumed he'd thrown the picture away after she'd used it like a sharp knuckle on his bruise. But no, of course. Ever the manipulator. He'd probably been keeping it for a moment of shock value like this.
"Thought we'd give it a good send-off," Kai grinned.
Bonnie shook her head, shaking his distractions away. She took a moment to center herself, or try to, before she began the spell.
She stared down at the photograph, keeping her eyes fixed as she created a circle in the dirt around it with the edge of a sharp rock. She hated the stupid thing. Hated the blissful ignorance on both Kai and Jo's faces. Hated that it reminded her of so many of her own family pictures, posed and a little awkward, but genuine, all the same. She hated that this happy girl was still out there somewhere, waking up in a cold sweat when she dreamt of her brother's face. That reminder was the last thing she needed now.
"So, I need you to start a contained fire right about there, and then the incantation's just—" Kai paused, noticing the expression on Bonnie's face. "—Bon?"
"You're still gonna kill her, aren't you?" she asked slowly.
Kai glanced down at the picture. He seemed thrown by the question. Why it would matter to her, suddenly. Bonnie didn't know, herself, but the words still came out.
He gave her a sidelong look, then down at the ground. He didn't say anything.
Of course he would. Kai had never said or done anything that should have convinced her otherwise. He wanted to finish what he'd started twenty years ago. Unleashed, he'd slaughter them all.
That was why she'd been the martyr in the first place. Why she'd let Damon go, why she'd sentenced herself to a life in Kai Parker's prison. Just to be his guard.
It had been the right thing to do, she had been so sure. So selfless, so noble, so typical Bonnie Bennett.
And now...
"Um, anyway, Bon, the fire?" Kai was saying.
She followed along mechanically while her mind was somewhere else. "Phasmatos incendia," she whispered, and fire crackled on the dusty ground.
She could feel the spark of the spell humming at the tips of her fingers, bringing a pulse of electricity to her blood. She chanted the words mechanically, as if they were a song she'd always known. Clamore hunc terram notam gemini propter...
Had she forgotten who she was supposed to be, or had she evolved? It was impossible to tell in this airless, friendless place. All her life, she'd been helpful, loyal, a giver. Her friends told her so and she would smile to hear it. Now those same words felt like ropes around her chest, making it hard to breathe. Now she'd gotten a taste of what it was like to be selfish, to consume, to ravage and burn to the ground. Like sparks on her tongue.You like power, Bonnie Bennett. And you wear it well.
She didn't know whose voice it was in her head anymore, hers or Kai's.
Somewhere beyond these thoughts, she was still chanting, letting the fire grow higher, her magic growing along with it.
Energy raced through her skin, a thrill of joy and horror all at once. This was what it must be to be selfish, to be careless, and god, it felt good. This new power, it was too much and not enough, full to bursting with it and she still wanted more—
"Bonnie!"
Kai's yell brought her back to reality. Her small fire was rushing out from its confines, searing the ground and reaching out burning tendrils to every corner of the cave.
"Bonnie, enough!"
A blaze strong enough to fill the cave. It could claim him, it could claim her. It could burn everything in this world. It was intoxicating, dancing on the edge of what was possible. She didn't want it to stop.
The fire was pushing Kai against the stone walls of the cave, making him cough and sink to the ground, running out of air—
And just like that, she made it disappear. Every trace of it. Because she could.
Kai gave a great heaving breath as he stood fully upright again, his hand to his chest.
"Are you fucking crazy?" he yelled, and the sound reverberated harshly off of the suddenly empty stone walls. "What the hell are you doing?"
She might have flinched at the crack in his usually cool demeanor, but she was already shaking too hard, standing, looking at her hands like they were someone else's. After a huge spell like that, she should be exhausted. She should be bleeding, head pounding. But she was only aching for more of it. For something else to tear down.
Kai had his fists clenched as he came back at her from the corner. "Do you even want to go home? Because if you try to fuck me over—"
"Fuck you over?" Bonnie said suddenly. She was breathing hard, letting her anger seep into her bloodstream like poison. Something had snapped inside her, something that had been growing for weeks and months, ugly and brave and mindless. "This is your fault. All of this is your fault. You think I want to be this out of control? You think I want to be like this? You are the one terrorizing me, torturing me, and it's all just a sick game to you." Her voice was growing louder, unbidden. "You put me through hell just for the fucking fun of it."
She pushed him back hard with the heels of her hands. "It's all you, and I can feel you inside me like a virus. It's your fault, making me feel these sick things that I don't want to feel. It's because of you this is happening to me. It's because of you I like it. I could burn your fucking face off, I swear to god, Kai."
She pushed him again, but this time he caught her wrists in his hands. He'd lost the cool mirth he usually wore around him like a shield, and a cold rage had taken its place.
"Oh, poor little victim Bonnie. Did I ruin your perfect prison world experience? I'm so sorry. But you want to talk things you don't want to feel? Twenty years I waited for a chance to get out of this place, twenty years just barely existing, and you finally come along and decide that I'm not fucking worthy to be among my saintly family, and you want to leave me here to rot. You and Damon, like either of you have any right to judge me after all the shit you've done. So don't act like the scared little good girl in all this, because we both know it's not true."
"I didn't want to let a thing like you out, and I was right not to," Bonnie hissed. "You're a murderer."
"You really wanna do this now?" Kai's eyes flickered to the sun overhead. They had less than an hour. "We had a deal! You think we're turning back because you remember your stupid code of honor?"
"Oh, no," Bonnie said softly, venomously. "I'm going home. I just wanted to let you know exactly what you've done before I can finally kill you and make it stick."
"Big talk, Bonster."
His grip on her wrists was painfully tight. She tried to jerk her arms away, but it did no good.
"You don't think I will?"
Kai grinned down at her. "I think I'd like to see you try."
"Let go of me," she said, still struggling in his grasp.
"Come on, Bon, one last round for old times' sake, what do you say? There are some moves I've just been itching to try out on you."
"Let go!" She dug her nails into his hands, trying to pry his fingers loose.
"Now, what's the magic word?"
"MOTUS!" she yelled, with a force that sent him reeling against the rough cave walls.
He hit with a crack that sent bits of dirt and rock raining over his head and crumpled to the ground again, panting. He held his side as he slowly stood back up again.
"There you go," he said, dazed but grinning maddeningly as usual. "Was that so hard?"
Before Bonnie had a chance to catch her breath, Kai stretched out his hand and shot her a spell in turn.
"Nocere!"
He'd been quietly siphoning her magic, and she hadn't even noticed. The spell hit her square in the chest and spread like fire over her neck, her head, her arms and legs. She fell to her knees, buckling under the weight of it. It was pain, as if all of her muscles had seized up at once, so overwhelming she could barely see or hear. Somewhere echoing off the stone walls, she heard her own strangled cry.
But Kai only had enough power for a few moments of torture, and then she was gasping for breath, scrambling back up, rushing at him.
She had forgotten that she had magic, forgotten the plan they had in place and the sun that was slowly edging towards the center of the sky. All she wanted to do was hurt him, make him bleed, leave him in broken pieces on the ground. Everything else was white noise.
Bonnie pushed him back hard, his back against the jagged wall. She aimed a punch at his nose which he barely ducked to the side, instead leaving him with a split lip and making her knuckles drag against the rough stone behind him. She hissed through her teeth in pain, holding her fist, and wasn't prepared when he came from behind her, sweeping her legs out from underneath and knocking the wind out of her.
While she lay gasping on the ground, Kai forced her down, straddling her and pushing her head hard into the dirt. She'd bruised him when she threw him against the wall, the skin on the back of his neck turning red and tender. His cold blue eyes somehow managed to turn dark in the half-light, and for a few surreal seconds, Bonnie could only make out a blur of blood and shadows and bruised flesh as she struggled.
She kicked her legs uselessly, pushing against his chest until he finally released and she shot up again, dizzy but full of a manic rage that guided her forward. She tried to swipe at him with an outstretched fist, but instead Kai caught her hand and forced it against the wall over her head, and quickly he'd done the same with her other hand.
Their faces met in the middle as Kai pinned her to the wall, and he gave her a harsh smile as he grabbed her shoulders and pressed upwards, making her back scrape against the stone. It was ripping her t-shirt to ribbons, making deep and dirty cuts between her shoulder blades, and she screamed, snarled into the echoing corners of the cave.
Desperately, she clawed at his face and neck with sharp trailing nails, leaving scratch marks against his cheek as if from the paw of a wild dog. But it wasn't enough, she had to reach for every inch of skin that was left unmarked, and she jerked his head up to meet hers.
"See, isn't this fun?" Kai smiled up at her, barely catching his breath.
"Yeah," Bonnie brought her knees up, braced herself against the wall, and pushed him away with her legs as hard as she could. Kai stumbled back, doubled over. "It is."
"Nocere!" Bonnie yelled, her arm outstretched, her hand twisting. Kai's pain spell came back to him, a punch to the gut that brought him to his knees on the cold dirt.
It was hard to maintain, a harsh, demanding spell like that, and she found herself releasing her hand again after a few seconds. Kai groaned and slowly started to get to his feet again, but Bonnie was ready with another shot of the same spell.
"Nocere!"
It was worse for him this time, her power growing with every attempt she made. It was pain that paralyzed your brain, made it impossible to breathe, to think, to do anything except feel. Kai came out of the haze still on his knees, only seeing Bonnie's wild-eyed face, her hands clasped around his wrists to amplify the spell.
I kinda love you, Kai thought suddenly. And he hoped she hadn't felt that thought through his skin, because he didn't want her to misunderstand. Love wasn't what she would think it was. Not to him. Not promise rings and sweet nothings and tearful goodbyes. It meant knowing somebody so intimately, so completely, to hurt them so acutely. How could he not love her, the way she burned him with her eyes alight?
And he could see that it still wasn't enough for her, her knuckles white, her breath coming in short gasps.
She wanted an incentive to take this further; he was only too happy to oblige.
Kai slowly brought his hands down and Bonnie let go of him—not out of kindness or expectation of surrender, only out of curiosity.
He traced a light finger from the hollow of her throat, slick with sweat, in a straight line between her breasts, past her stomach to the ripped hem of her shirt. She was frozen, waiting for the catch she knew would come.
His hands slipped under her shirt, her skin smooth and feverishly hot, and ghosted along the outline of her waist. She let out her breath in a huff, and Kai smirked at her obvious impatience.
Finally, his thumb found its mark—a small puckered strip of skin just under the line of her bra, still tender to the touch. He hooked a finger and dug into the fragile skin as hard as he could, undoing, he knew, all that hard work of his to mend that wound, but oh, it was so much more fun to destroy than to create.
She gasped as he pressed harder, her lips parted, eyes closed, a kind of awful ecstasy. Her hands grabbed desperately in the air for something to steady her, and found Kai's back, her nails raking across the skin, digging into his shoulders like hooks, and Bonnie brought him down on top of her.
His fingers were still pressed cruelly into her, little rivers of blood swelling up at his touch, and she responded by gripping tighter at him, leaving raw scratches with her nails until she heard him gasp, too.
Her legs were wrapped around him, every muscle taut with a kind of terrified anticipation.
Experimentally, Kai released the pressure on her scar, dragging his fingers away slowly, waiting for her muscles to relax again in the absence of pain. But instead she drew in a sharp breath as he let go, arching her back as if to meet his hand again, and when he skirted the top of her jeans, she breathed out a soft, desperate moan.
"Kai," she said, and it sounded like, "please."
His lips twisted into smirk. Ask nice. He slammed her frame back against the ground, and she lost her breath for a few dizzy moments. Bonnie reached for his face, tracing white scratches along his neck, and drew him down again to meet her. His split lip shone bright red and she caught it between her teeth, running her tongue along the surface until his metallic taste flooded her mouth. A brutal kind of kiss, and he returned it as if she'd set a challenge, biting and sucking at her lips as if he meant to devour her piece by piece. She fisted her hands through his short hair and held on, riding out the dark shivers coursing through her body. Her magic was building somewhere in the center of her, coiled like a spring and tensed at every slight movement.
Almost instinctually, pieces of magic crept to the surface, tendrils reaching out through her fingertips, too much to keep contained. She sent a pulse of it through Kai's body, soft and ringing but painful as an electric shock.
She felt him stiffen against her as the wave went through, and he spoke against her lips: "That's not playing fair, Bon."
Her voice came out ragged as she replied, "Who said this was fair?"
Bonnie felt him steal a taste of her magic with another, ironically tender kiss. Leveling the playing field, she guessed. He sent it back to her in the form of white-hot heat, as she'd done to him that morning, his skin like a branding iron. He kissed a burning trail down her neck, and she squirmed and shut her eyes tight and dug her nails into the earth, but refused to make a sound. He was pulling her shirt aside, up above her head, and when he grazed her scar again with that heat, she sucked in a shaking breath and held on tighter.
"Aw, come on, Bonster," said Kai, as he made his way slowly further down, leaving red marks across her stomach. "Bonnie-Boo. It's no fun if you don't scream."
"You've...never—" she gasped. Kai was undoing the button of her jeans, sliding them off her legs and leaving only a hint of heat in their wake. "—made me scream."
She felt, rather than saw, his smile against her lower belly, tensed against his burning skin. "Sounds like a challenge," he said. With the last fading embers of his spell, Kai pressed the heel of his hand between her legs. Bonnie let out a whimper as she drove her hips forward to press harder against him. Her nerves radiated a kind of strange chill, hot and cold at once like a bad fever. But she still hung on to that feeling for as long as it lasted, slumping breathless on the ground when it finally faded away.
Intoxicating. That was the word, wasn't it? For something that poisoned you at the same time that it made you crave more…
She closed her eyes again as Kai dragged her underwear down past her thighs.
"You know what was really fun about those trips inside your mind?" he said suddenly, his breath hot against the side of her bare hip. "Seeing all these little thoughts and fantasies you wanted to bury away. About me, I mean. So flattering. All those different things you wanted to do to me, or things you wanted me to do to you…"
He slid his thumb between her folds and began to move slowly up and down, feeling her breath quicken. "I mean, dark stuff. I was impressed. But then, I am a psycho."
"Shut...up," she said desperately, digging her nails further into the ground as she rocked against him.
"Just saying. Kinda seems like this—" he pressed hard against her swollen flesh and she let out a gasp "—and every other twisted thought you had would be against that moral code of yours, right?"
"Shut up," she repeated, opening her eyes now.
"Unless you've learned to be more...flexible. That's what I did. Just, kinda... bent my definition of evil. It feels good, doesn't it?"
" stop talking." She put a hand to her forehead, trying to get a grip on herself.
"Whatever you want, Bon." With a flicker of a smile, he bent his head down. His hands raked across her thighs, feeling taut muscles underneath the feverish skin. He wanted to tear into her. Hollow her out, write his name in her blood and only leave bones behind. He wanted to see her undone, unguarded. Destroyed and rebuilt. Wanted to be the one to do it. Christ, he wanted to hold her hand when it was all done. What was happening to him?
He pressed a kiss between her legs, soft and teasingly slow at first, until she closed her eyes and tilted her head back again, a quiet moan on her lips. But that was too nice, he decided, too like a real lover, so he grazed her with sharp teeth and she seized up, a shudder running through her body.
Kai felt her nails dig into the back of his neck, seeming to urge him on and push him away at the same time. He kept going, drawing circles with his tongue, pressing too hard, too sharp, but Bonnie was arching closer, flushed and letting little muted cries out through her clenched teeth.
He could feel the magic in her, swirling and gathering like stormclouds. Crackling with electricity, waiting to strike. He wondered idly if she'd fry his brain when she came, and if he even cared.
Kai felt her nails pressing inwards, guiding him up her body, and he followed without thinking. He clambered up to meet her mouth again, for another bruising kiss, and he could show her how good she tasted, deadly and ripe maddeningly sweet—
But as soon as they were eye to eye again, Bonnie rolled them over, his back hitting the hard ground with a force that almost made it hurt to breathe. Kai groaned, the cave spinning around him.
"You wanna know what I saw inside your head, Kai?" Bonnie asked. Her hand reached for something on the ground, a jagged piece of rock that they'd knocked down from the walls. She trailed its sharp edge along his chest. "You're scared. You're scared of what I'll do to you if we make it through and I can hurt you for real."
She pulled his t-shirt up and off, and with the rock she slowly carved an X into the skin over his heart. Two shallow cuts, barely even bleeding. Still hurt, though. He stayed still, refusing to look away from her, though he let out a small hiss of pain and tightened his fists until she'd finished.
"You're scared of what you've pushed me to," she continued. Bonnie threw the rock aside, turning her attention to his belt buckle. She undid it with quick fingers, grinding her hips down in a feverish rhythm that made Kai almost forget what she was saying.
"That's good. You should be scared."
She bent down to him, her hands resting over the wound she'd just created.
"Because I'm gonna fucking ruin you," she said, slowly and deliberately, with a smile mimicking his own.
He wrapped his hands around the back of her neck, pulling her down hard to meet his lips again, before she had a chance to say anything else. He was grinning against her with an almost frantic glee. God, all those months watching and waiting, he'd never thought it could be like this. He'd seen her dress and undress, seen her with her temper up and color high in her cheeks. Contact-starved, of course he'd wanted her, in the shallow way that any boy would. He'd sensed her magic, faint and wavering and, stupid, thought little of it. Except as a way out. He hadn't thought of what he'd be bringing to life until—
He sucked in a breath, because she was unzipping his jeans and pulling the fabric down, sliding herself onto him with a small ragged moan.
Jesus. He couldn't think anymore.
She dragged her hips experimentally forward, and they both tensed for a moment, hanging onto the feeling until the wave passed. And then she started again, achingly slow, and the waiting almost hurt—
Okay, so after a while he'd let himself imagine all that power twisted to suit him, imagined holding her hand while he finally ripped his parents' entrails out. Little daydreams.
But this—his skin under her fingernails, her mark carved into his chest—they were making something. Something intimate and huge and terrifying. The things they could do together—the worlds they could destroy—
Bonnie had her eyes closed as she ground her hips back and forth, lost in the dark, and she scraped her fingernails down his chest, making sure to catch on the X on her way, but it was already beginning to heal. God damn him, it wasn't fair. So she leaned down and kissed him again instead, her hands clutching desperately at his face, and she fell, as easily as taking a step, into the space inside his mind.
She remembered the intrusiveness of it. Of feeling like she was somewhere she wasn't meant to be. And she waited for that feeling again, waited for Kai to whimper in pain, but...nothing. Only the dark and a slight chill. He wasn't trying to push her out.
But in the few moments that she paused, trying to understand, he had shoved her onto the ground, seeing just a flash of his bloodstained lips before she was back in that place again. And Kai took up her rhythm where she'd left it, his hands grasping at the small of her back to pull himself further inside her.
Bonnie wasn't sure how it had happened, but she had felt his presence pressing against her skull, the same as she had done. She didn't even know if he'd intended to do it. But now she was in her own head and his, thoughts and feelings blurring together like watercolors until she couldn't tell the two apart.
They went on, both caught somewhere in between their two minds. When Kai buried himself in her he could feel her wave of pleasure, her ache, along with his, and Bonnie raked her fingers through her hair—or it might have been his, and she didn't care, it didn't matter—as she felt them both on the edge of release—
Bonnie wrenched her eyes open, unable to stand it any more. She felt the ground underneath her, breathing in the clammy air, and tried to return to connection, whatever it was—that wasn't what she'd counted on. Too much, all at once, and she didn't want to empathize right now, least of all with him...
Kai opened his eyes, too, lost for a moment as though coming out of a dream.
Bonnie waited for him to say something—something snarky, childish, disgusting. But he just stared back at her, flushed and breathing hard, an unreadable expression on his face.
Insane, the idea that she had to remind him of how exactly this was supposed to go. But she did. She ran her thumb across his cheek, scraping with the sharp end of her nail. She drew a thin pink line, straight under his eyes like war paint. Kai winced a little, and Bonnie nearly drew her hand away. But then he turned the grimace into a twisted smile and, with no warning, he jerked her hand away, slamming it to the ground, his grip locked around her wrist.
A familiar, uncomfortable sensation told her that he was siphoning her magic, and she struggled to get her hand away, but he only held on tighter and gave her a would-be innocent look.
"What are you—" she started to say, but he thrust into her again, picking up where they'd left off, and she was cut off by her own sharp intake of breath. They moved together, and Bonnie closed her eyes and tilted her head back, getting lost. Wanting to be lost.
Kai pressed hard on her bruised scar again, and her muscles tensed in response. The spot bled freshly, coating his fingers in dark red. And she didn't care, it felt so good not to care—
She clutched at the back of his neck, pulling him down as she felt herself getting close, and knew that he was too—
Fuck, she was really doing this. This was so many levels of not okay. He smelled like blood and so did she, and they were devouting each other, two predators locked together, but it felt so good to fight like this, raw energy and magic, bloody knuckles and dirt under her fingernails.
Her magic was storming inside her, building until she could almost choke on it, and it smelled like blood, too.
"I'm—oh, god—" Bonnie stammered out, and then bit her lip hard to stop a scream as her orgasm tore through her, turning her vision dark and hazy and leaving her head spinning.
Kai was fast on her heels, and went rigid with an animal groan, collapsing with his blood-slick fingers tangled in her hair.
For a long few moments, they lay panting on the cool ground. Bonnie let the aftershocks pulse through, her eyes closed, exhausted.
Kai lifted himself up and lay down again on his back, landing with a muted thud beside her. She could feel him shaking as he let go of her.
Slowly, she started to become aware of where she was again. The echo of their breathing against the stone walls, the faint light outside that meant—
Bonnie opened her eyes again. She lifted herself up by her elbows and squinted at the light up above.
"Kai," she said suddenly, harshly.
"What?"
"The eclipse. It's about to start."
XXX
There were a frantic few moments as Bonnie hauled Kai up to his feet and they pulled their clothes haphazardly back on. Bonnie avoided looking him in the eyes, and Kai was oddly quiet.
"Are you—?" he started to ask, as they stood in the center of the circle they'd created.
"Yes," she answered, and held out her hands. She finally looked at him, a sick rush going through her blood as she did. The beginnings of regret, or disgust, or just plain terror at what they were about to do. No time to wonder about it now, thank god.
"Well," said Kai. He hesitated, stepping slowly towards her. "It's been fun, Bon."
She didn't answer. He grasped her hands loosely, like a kid at his first school dance. And then, all at once—
The pain usually felt like something scraping against her skin. Dull and uncomfortable, not agonizing by her standards. But this time, he was trying to take her magic quickly. All at once. It was like choking on burning sand.
She gritted her teeth, closed her eyes, and she found that Kai had done the same. Magic flowed freely out of her into his hands, and her breath went with it. Her vision blurred, and she struggled to breathe. She felt cold, bleeding to death.
"Kai," she gasped out, panic gripping her. "Stop. Stop!"
He stayed still, his eyes still closed, a grimace on his face that she could barely see.
"Kai!" she said again, but it was a rasped whisper, barely audible.
Her view of the cave and Kai in front of her was growing smaller, her knees about to buckle. And just as she was sure that she was going to pass out, Kai let go, and Bonnie fell to the floor, taking a huge, gasping breath of air as if she'd barely escaped drowning.
Kai stood with his hands shaking, a giant from her perspective on the ground. She could sense the power coming off him, huge and unstable. Almost radioactive.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
She sat up. It took a lot of effort. She couldn't remember ever feeling so tired. "Yeah," she said.
"Okay." He found the backpack he'd left on the ground again, fumbling through the pockets until he found a small pocket knife. Kai knelt down next to her, holding the knife in front of her eyes.
"Get your hands dirty, then."
Bonnie took it. It glinted in the fading light.
This couldn't possibly work.
"Come on," Kai murmured, and traced the edge of her face. "You know you want to."
She breathed and set her jaw, giving him a tiny, resolute nod.
Kai squeezed his eyes shut as Bonnie extended her hand, knife pointed his direction, and and in one swift motion, slit his throat.
So many times she'd imagined doing that, or something like it, but the reality made her want to be sick. He choked, gasped, fell forward onto all fours, and Bonnie drew back, dropping the bloody knife.
In a small voice, she began the incantation: "Phasmatos, suscipe benedictionem hanc in sanguine , ut stellas capiatur in caelis, obturarent capita telarum stragulam terrae. Phasmatos, suscipe benedictionem…"
Kai collapsed on the ground, unable to support his weight any longer. He gasped frantically for air and finally fell still, the pool of blood growing around him.
Bonnie held on to him, to his arms, his face, because she had to find strength somewhere. Her voice grew faster and louder, the words of the spell like a chain that kept her tethered to consciousness.
"suscipe benedictionem hanc in sanguine , ut stellas capiatur in caelis…"
The pool of blood, still seeping from the gash in his neck, was beginning to disappear, as if the earth was drinking it up.
A magical blood sacrifice. Her magic, his blood. His arms were starting to grow cold and so were hers…
"obturarent capita telarum stragulam terrae…"
Bonnie looked up to the sky. The beginnings of a shadow cast itself over their heads. Maybe they were already too late…
She shouted the words, repeating until her throat was hoarse, and closed her eyes tight. This was how she would die, covered in blood and shame and screaming to stop the stars.
Her voice gave out at last, and she fell beside him, thinking she saw the shadow move across the sun before she stopped seeing anything at all.
XXX
It was colder outside than she'd remembered. Cold and biting, and she must still be asleep.
She tried to roll onto her side, and every muscle protested. So she lay on her back, and the sun was hurting her eyes, even though they were still not open.
Her heart sank. They were in the cave, and it was the next day, and the eclipse would come out, again and again and again, for all the days after this. It was a cruelty that she hadn't died, after all.
She unwillingly woke up, in no hurry to face the world again. Slowly, the moved her hand and found Kai's. Dirty, crusted with blood, but warm. Alive. Of course he was, and she was sure he had some fresh hell planned for her, all alone on the empty world with nothing else to do...
Bonnie let her hand fall, and when she did, the ground made a strange sound. A crackling, like a crumpled piece of paper or an empty wrapper.
She hadn't remembered having either of those things with her, but maybe the wind blew it in…
Slowly, reluctantly, she opened her eyes.
The two of them were sprawled on the ground, and they were surrounded by fall leaves. Some a brilliant yellow, some dark maroon, some brown and crumbling away, some with a hint of green, even though it had to be—
Bonnie shot up, forgetting how much it hurt to move. Her heart pounded violently in her chest.
Fall leaves. And it was never fall, never going to be, not in 1994.
The sun shone overhead, no hint of a shadow in sight, and the cold November air had never felt so beautiful.
They were out. They were home.
XXX