A/n: Okay, okay... first off, we finally have reached the big one-zero! *cheers, throws confetti* And well, I also thank you for all of your support! *hugs and kisses* This... is not the end, though the AN may make it sound like so.

xxX~o~o~Xxx

Chapter 10: Assurance

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Hikaru sits up in panic as the little trickles of sleep leave him and only vague memories of a dream about green pandas and pink water and purple cotton candy remain. This is the time where Kaoru is supposed to sit up too, and ask him what's wrong or comfort him. Or maybe poke Kaoru until he wakes up and talk to him about his dream just to annoy him.

But there is no Kaoru to comfort him, there is no warm body beside his. There is only the cold of Kaoru's side of the bed and the teddy bear that is sat on Kaoru's pillow. He falls heavily down unto the bed once more.

Gods, he is so tired.

This is all Kaoru's fault.

Hikaru blinks tiredly up at the ceiling.

He's tired, but he can't sleep. There are tears in his eyes caused by exhaustion. His mouth stretches open, and a roaring yawn moves up his throat and escapes his lips. His tears slide slowly down his cheeks and he glares at the ceiling as if it was what had caused all his problems.

He can't sleep, no matter how much he tries. He closes his eyes and dots of different colours splatter over the darkness. Opening his eyes, his head lulls to the side and he looks out of the window. The moon is full. Its light is bright and blinding. He lets it blind him, his punishment for causing all this trouble.

"Why..." He whispers to no one in particular in the dark. His eyes land on the bear, and he reaches his hand out and grabs the bear, his nails digging into the soft brown fur. All he wants is to hug Kaoru, to kiss him and to show him how much he loves him. He wants to say 'Fuck it,' and take what's already his and oh-

He yawns and he brings the bear over his face to cover his mouth and maybe a little bit of something else.

"I miss it," He says into the bear's belly and presses it harder against his face. He imagines it as something softer, something more alive, something like Kaoru's hair. "I miss you." He mumbles and chokes a little on his saliva, just because.

Hikaru can't take it anymore. He's tried everything. He's counted sheep, had calmed his breathing, but he can't sleep without Kaoru right beside him. He throws the bear covering his face to the side, and throws the blankets off of him as well. He stands up and walks to the door.

Before he leaves and closes the door, he looks into their room and his eyes scan over as the moonlight filters through the window. He sees the bear lying face down on the ground, and there is a certain pang in his chest. He has to go back and pick it up.

"You think Kaoru would mind?" He asks the bear. And he waits for a few moments to pass. "Yeah, I guess." He says though the bear has not said anything and has just only stared blankly at him.

It's late at night and he sneaks through the silent hall. He finds a room, and it was supposed to be Hikaru's room. It has always remained empty and yet it seems to always be clean. Hikaru enters silently, and he sees Kaoru sleeping on the bed. He walks over, and sits at only the edge.

"Do you think I should wake him up?" Hikaru asks the bear.

"No need." Says a voice and Hikaru promptly throws the bear away.

He stares wide eyed and a little bit scared. But then the sheets rustle and he looks down to see Kaoru awake and sitting up. Hikaru immediately sits as close as possible to Kaoru because even the only few moments they were apart seemed like forever to Hikaru. "What are you doing here?" Hikaru says loudly, and he doesn't care that it's late at night. He wants to hear Kaoru's voice.

"I... had to think..." Kaoru says, "I had to think and rethink about everything." He looks at Hikaru and he twines their fingers together. He shifts his eyes, and looks at their connected hands. "I've already been feeling since long before, and it just confuses me." His hold tightens, "It's hard, because this seems wrong, but... and... I wanted to avoid any confrontation at all. And then we-"

"Kaoru..." Hikaru tilts Kaoru's face up by the chin.

Kaoru's eyes shift from side to side and he blinks and finally has the guts to stare directly into his older brother's eyes. He licks his dry lips and his lips tremble a little, "Yeah?" He says in a quiet voice.

"You talk too much." And Hikaru leans forward and kisses Kaoru with a comforting and understanding and the tenderest of kisses kind of kiss.

The bear falls forgotten on the floor, and the soft thud startles Hikaru and Kaoru out of the kiss. They smile and they fall back on the sheets, and they sleep in peace as the earliest of birds twitter outside and the sun just barely peeks out of the horizon.

To be continued...

xxX~o~o~Xxx

A/n: I just had to say, I took all your ideas. *smiles* If you were as I paranoid as I am when it comes to symbolism, you'll know where your ideas are. Oh, and you might notice my next idea for a story.

Please review :D