Chapter Ten

Decisions

BPOV

Edward had left me thinking that he was right. There was no way that I could tell him that he wouldn't understand if he didn't even know what the hell was going on in the first place. But, I mean, come on, how would a normal regular human take that? If I told them that I was a monster… a vampire. I'm sure they would freak out and go around telling the whole world what I'm trying to hide.

I shook my head from my thoughts and stared up at my ceiling. This was so frustrating, why couldn't it all be like it used to be? Without worries…without painful memories…why couldn't I go back in time and stop myself from ever meeting Nathan. But it isn't worth it, thinking that, because there is no way in hell that I could actually go back in time and prevent all of this from happening.

"Can I come in?" I sighed and sat up as soon as I heard Alice opening the door.

"Why-"

"Do I ask to come in when I'm going to come in anyway?" She finished for me so I only nodded my head. "Duh Bella, remember?" She pointed to her head and winked at me. "I know the future. I already knew that you were going to let me in so… I just came in." She shrugged and sat down on the corner of my bed.

"Whatever Alice," I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"Okay, so I'll just get right to the point. What's wrong?" I smiled and shook my head.

"You mean what isn't wrong." I laughed darkly as I rolled my eyes.

"Okay then, what isn't wrong?" She said as she exaggerated with her hands in the air.

"There isn't anything that isn't wrong Alice."

"You've been acting weird lately Bella. I just want you to tell me what's wrong to see if I can help you."

"Actually Alice why don't you tell me what's wrong with you. You've been acting weird, hell even weirder than me. What are you hiding?" Alice stood up and laughed.

"Please Bella, what could I be hiding?" I knew Alice well and I could hear a little twinge of nervousness in her voice.

"Alice you know what happens when you hide something from me. If you're smart you will tell me now instead of waiting until the last minute and then getting me even angrier at you."

"I don't know what you're talking about?" She smiled at me and then ran out of my bedroom. Ha, there was no way that she was going to get away from me. I jumped up from the bed and ran right after her. I followed her down the stairs and when she stopped to open the door I jumped and landed right on top of her.

The little stinker tried to get me off but held on as she struggled to push me off.

"Tell me. Now." I growled. "Alice," I warned as she just stared at me, she sighed.

"Okay fine. I had a vision."

"Do I have to force it out of you Alice?" I asked as she stopped.

"The vision was about your future Bella." She took a deep breath and then continued. "Edward… he's going to be part of our family…you're going to… or are in love with him." I had never thought that a vampire would be caught by surprise. I sat down on the ground and just looked at my hands. I shook my head not believing it.

"No Alice, no!" I yelled at her shaking my head furiously. I stood up from the ground and paced in front of her while she just looked at me. "There is no way in hell that he's going to become a monster."

"Bella, it's going to happen no matter how hard you try to-"

"Shut up Alice! I don't want to hear it!" She looked hurt and even though I felt so bad for yelling at her I couldn't apologize right now. I just ran to the door and got out of the house before I told Alice anything that would hurt her even worse. I ran to the woods thinking about going hunting and trying to forget about how angry I was right now.

It just seemed ridiculous to me that after trying to 'save' him from everyone I was the one that was now putting him at risk. I grabbed a tree branch and broke it trying to get my anger out. I wanted to pull my hair and scream to the seven skies. This couldn't be happening.

***

After hunting for a while I had decided what I was going to do. I was going to leave Forks, Washington and then return to my family after they were gone from here. I couldn't stay…I wasn't going to ruin his life how mine got ruined. There would be no one that would be able to blame me for turning him into a monster.

I did however feel the need to say goodbye to him. Well not really, I wanted to prove to Alice that I wasn't in love with him and that there was no way in hell that I would fall in love with him because I was going to leave before that happened. I headed to his aunt's house, of course I was going to say goodbye without him knowing I did.

I noticed a tree to the left side of the house and climbed it up until I was right outside a window. I could hear nothing coming from inside besides deep breathing and their blood flow. So I knew they were all asleep. I opened the window and climbed inside easily. I was hit with Edward's scent and all the anger that I had felt just washed away.

It was weird that just by being able to smell him it calmed my nerves down. I made my way close to him and rested my arms against the edge of the bed while bending down and resting my chin on top of them. The anger that I had seen in his face during our last conversation wasn't visible anymore. He was just sleeping peacefully.

I noticed that he looked so much better without his glasses. His face was much more beautiful when he wasn't wearing them or worrying. The blanket that was over him was just covering up to his waist and I could see his exposed chest, he wasn't wearing a shirt. I was surprised by it. I always thought that Edward was skinny not muscular but I guess I had never paid attention to anything else but his face. It was also that he wore baggy clothes that didn't go with his built.

He had bruises on his chest and arms. I winced as I remembered that I had promised myself to protect him. I not only did a horrible job but I also made him angry at me. Why don't I ever do anything right for once in my life?

"Bella," He whispered and then let a deep breath out. I froze in that instant thinking that he had seen me. I looked at him and noticed that his eyes were still closed and that his breathing was still even. He just sighed again and repeated my name. I was surprised at the intensity he said it with. It was amazing how I felt, like my heart had beat again and by the flow of emotions that I never thought I would feel again.

My eyes welled up with tears that I knew were never going to fall. A quiet sob escaped my lips and then I noticed he frowned.

"Don't." He whispered as he smiled a sad smile. I was so angry at myself. It was too late now there was nothing I could do. Now I really was in love with him and it was my entire stupid fault. If I hadn't come here, if I would have gone straight home and packed, if I had just left right after arguing with Alice.

No, this couldn't happen. I had to leave, I wasn't going to hurt him and make his life miserable. I wasn't, I just couldn't. I got up from my position and raced to the window ready to go home and leave as soon as I had my suitcase packed.

"Don't." I turned around and noticed how Edward sighed. "Please don't." He said one more time before he turned around to his other side. It was as if he knew I was here and he knew what I was planning. I shook my head and closed the window after me. I landed with my feet perfectly on the ground and then ran as fast as I could home.

Okay Bella there are three things we can do:

First, we leave.

Second, we stay and try to ignore him,

Or, third we could accept that we love him and stay…with him. You have to decide and you have to decide right now!

This is a huge hint for those of you who want me to update sooner…REVIEW!