Jackson was fucking nervous. He couldn't remember the last time he had been on a date. Usually Lydia and him had stayed home and watched that horrid movie 'The Notebook' and maybe if he was lucky make out. While some people probably wouldn't believe it, Jackson and Lydia had never actually had sex. He didn't want it the way Lydia was giving it, like another thing to cross of her to-do list…literally. That didn't mean it had to be special or anything…he just didn't want it to be a task. Sex was meant to be lots of things like fun, and exciting, sometimes angry, it wasn't supposed to be something you did just for the sake of having said you had done it. At least that was what Jackson thought…he really should not be thinking about sex and Stiles or the way his amazingly smooth strong hands…Jackson was fucking nervous.
He didn't know what to wear. He didn't want to just throw something on like he was going to school. He also didn't want to deck himself out and look desperate so…somewhere in between? He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a nice button up flannel shirt with a collar and tie and a white blazer on top. His hair was also bothering him. It had gotten long in the last couple months to the point were he couldn't spike it anymore and covered his ears. He could take care of that. He walked into his bathroom pulled out his scissor and clippers and redid his hair the way he liked it, short on the side and long on top, he combed it to the side slightly spiked and bed heady.
He looked himself in the full length mirror in his bathroom. He looked stupid…but he didn't have enough time to change into anything else. He sighed, defeated and hoped that Stiles at least liked the way he looked. This thought sent his stomach churning with nerves, again.
Stiles was nervous as fuck. All his clothes had fucking stupid anime and video game characters and shit on them and they all looked like they belonged in the closet of a middle school kid. All his dress shirts had wrinkles that probably needed to be dry cleaned out, he didn't even know if there was an iron in the house. Thank god he didn't have to worry about his hair.
He settled for wearing an old polo that fit a little tight but was his favorite shade of blue. He paired this with a pair of cream colored slacks and his newest pair of chucks. Now all he had to do was wait an hour for Jackson to come pick him up… the longest hour of his life.
Jackson pulled up to the Stilinski household. He gripped the steering wheel tight and took one long steadying breath. He got out of his car and slowly made his way up the front steps. He hesitated, only a second before knocking on the door. He waited and slowly shifted his weight from one foot to the other till he could hear Stiles barreling down his steps and then open the door. They stood staring at each other, Jackson couldn't help but notice the way Stiles' polo hugged his body and outlined his growing muscles, Stiles felt like he was going out with a model especially the way Jackson was dressed. Stiles blushed he could practically feel the heat from Jackson's eyes as it roamed his body. Jackson had never thought of Stiles as being sexy, but today, looking at him here, he couldn't deny it, Stiles looked amazing.
The appreciative silence was broken when Jackson couldn't help but laugh, and neither could Stiles. They laughed hard and loud, Stiles locked his front door and Jackson led him to his car and opened the door for him. The drive to the theatre was filled with awkward silence, again, only broken by their laughter at how awkward the whole situation was. After that though, they were finally able to open up like they had before and the drive was filled with simple conversation.
Stiles paid for the movie but Jackson got the snacks which ironically cost more than the movie tickets, but when you buy as many snacks as Stiles wanted it was bound to be expensive. While the movie was playing Jackson would sneak glances at Stiles' face and enjoyed the happy enthralled expression on it. Jackson noticed Stiles' hand resting on the arm rest, thought about it, and then reached out and intertwined their fingers. Stiles entire body froze stiff, Jackson was holding his hand, Jackson was holding his hand, Jackson was holding his hand. Jackson squeezed when he heard the way Stiles' heart stuttered a beat, Stiles squeezed back and slowly his heart rate returned to normal. Jackson liked this, the feel of Stiles hand in his own, the lemony scent that consumed his senses leaving him intoxicated, and the thought of what could be.
After the movie, they walked around the shopping area the theatre was found in, it had a small grassy area, like a park, in its center with a giant artificial lake in the middle with dancing fountain jets. They mostly just talked, like always, but now everything was over colored with the fact that they were on a date. It made things a bit awkward but not much and over time they were able to return to acting normal around each other. Jackson was still holding Stiles' hand.
Jackson let Stiles choose the restaurant, he settled on a Japanese curry place, one of Jackson's favorites, Stiles' too. The dinner was good but Stiles could feel the looks their waitress kept throwing them and didn't know if it meant trouble. Jackson ordered different appetizers and shared them with Stiles. When Jackson got up to use the restroom their waitress approached with the check, "I'm sorry for staring it's just…you guys are the most adorable couple I've seen come in here!" She squealed and then walked away. When Jackson came back the waitress brought them dessert to share, on the house, and Jackson enjoyed slicing off a piece of cheese cake and then holding out with his fork for Stiles to bite. Stiles blushed so hard he wished it kill him. They split the bill.
After dinner they walked towards the lake and leaned against the railing that overlooked the water. Jackson wrapped his arms around Stiles and pressed his back against his own chest and they both just watched the moon reflect its rays off the still water. It was fucking romantic as hell and Stiles chest constricted with happiness he didn't know he had been missing. For once, he felt like cutting Scott some slack, if this is how it felt…well he could understand being a bad friend. For now, Stiles just leaned back until his head was pressed against Jackson's shoulder.
The drive back home was quiet but not awkwardly so. All Jackson had to do was look at Stiles and a giant smile would break out on his face. Jackson couldn't help it, he reached out and held Stiles' hand all the way back to his house. He got out and led Stiles to his front door.
"Today was…amazing," Stiles couldn't think of another way to describe the night, it was simply amazing and over far too quickly. All Jackson could think of saying was, "Yea…"
They stood there on Stiles porch for a short while, neither wanting to end the night. Jackson thought about for a minute before reaching forward wrapping an arm across Stiles' hip and bringing the other one to wrap around Stiles' neck and kissed him deep and long. He parted their lips and rested his forehead against Stiles' as they both tried to catch their breaths.
Stiles was stunned and breathless. The kiss had sent electrical charges down his body and left him shivering, he wanted to feel the press of Jackson's warm lips against his own again, but before he could try Jackson pulled away.
"Good night Stiles," Jackson said before slowly walking back to his car, turning around every few minutes to look at Stiles, send him a large smile each time while blushing. Stiles loved the way Jackson blushed, like he was embarrassed but didn't care.
Stiles made his way into his house and took a minute to just stand there and absorb everything that had happened. He could make this work, he had to. Now that he had had a taste he thought he was addicted.
From the trees deep in the forest, down wind, Derek watched Jackson kiss Stiles, he bristled. If Stiles thought that he was just going to roll over and give up he didn't know him that well. He would fight because doing anything short of his all wasn't something he knew how to do. Derek could offer Jackson something Stiles couldn't, the night, the moon, and the true release of the animal nature living inside them both. He would take full advantage of this.
Wednesday morning was going to be hard for Jackson he was excited to see Stiles again but wasn't sure were they stood now, but he was ready to find out. He drove slowly to the school not worried about being late. Who knew being the best student in all his classes actually gave you certain privileges, like being a little late to class. He arrived right as the first bell rang, and quickly made his way into the building and not seeing Stiles he went to his first class. But the day came and went and he didn't once see Stiles. He texted him and waited in his car after school but Stiles didn't show up. Jackson didn't know what had happened he thought that everything had gone well with them. He wasn't sure if Stiles was ignoring him or just too busy to respond…he gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to let it go. He didn't think it meant much.
On his drive home Derek texted him and asked him to come over to his house, he was grilling steaks and thought they could enjoy them together. Not having anything better to do Jackson agreed.
Stiles was having the worst morning of his life. He woke up and did what he normal does in the morning then ate breakfast. He got his backpack together and headed out to his jeep, which wouldn't start. He popped the hood but that was the extent of his knowledge, he didn't really know what went where. He tried to pull his cell phone out of his backpack where he left it but couldn't find it, it was missing. He went back to his room but he couldn't find it anywhere in the house, he even tried calling it from the house phone but didn't hear it ring. He didn't know anyone's number from memory and so had to call his dad who wasn't in and wouldn't be in all day. Stiles was stuck home but he desperately wanted to see Jackson especially after their amazing date. He decided to head over to Jackson's house after school.
Jackson pulled up to Derek's house and wondered why Derek really wanted him there. Jackson wasn't going to lie, he admired Derek and envied his confidence. He didn't understand how Derek could have no self doubts, didn't understand what it was like to just not care. His entire life was about trying to impress people, make them love him, so that no one else would ever abandon him again, and up until a while ago he didn't know what it felt like to not care. He got out of his car and made his way to the back of the house were Derek was grilling.
"Hey…"was all Jackson could think to say. Derek pointed at the picnic table were there was an open cold beer waiting for him. Not being one to turn down free booze Jackson picked it up and drank. It was really cold and had the familiar bitter taste and yet it wasn't as disgusting as some of the cheap stuff they had at parties.
"So…need any help," Derek just smiled at him and shook his head. Jackson sat and just looked out across the back yard and into the woods, enjoyed the smell of the cooking meat. A cool breeze blew the smoke away from the house and carried with it the scent of the forest. Jackson loved that smell, the mossy damp smell of the woods mixed in with the trees and plants.
Jackson jumped when Derek put his hand on his shoulder. All Derek did was laugh and say, "If you want you can mix the salad I left in the kitchen, bring it out here."
Rather than answer, and mostly to hide his embarrassment, Jackson went into the kitchen and found the salad in the fridge. He mixed it and dressed it with some olive oil and black pepper, the way he liked it, and brought it out onto the deck. Derek was bare foot and wearing a loose pair of jeans with a black t-shirt. He looked so normal, standing there grilling, he saw Jackson and gave him a small grin. Jackson had to smile back. He could get used to this, coming over every few days and enjoy the evenings with Derek as the waited for night to fall to enjoy the night together as they hunted and played.
When Derek finished grilling he set a pile of meat on the center of the table and they both just dug in. Derek brought out his home made steak sauce, a marvel of human confection. Jackson couldn't help but make obscene noises as he ate. The meat was amazing, like nothing he had ever tried, it was the taste of pure cow and the sauce tasted like every delicious herb mixed in with the bite of vinegar and something sweet. This was the most delicious thing he had tasted since turning.
"Dude, where do you find meat like this, I mean it taste like meat, there's nothing else there,"
"I know a man. He has a dairy farm not far from here. He also raises a few cows for slaughter and whenever he has some meat he makes sure to call me. It's all natural no hormones or grain-feed, this is what a cow should taste like, most people don't know the true flavor of beef,"
"This taste even better than the stuff my parents get at that fancy health store,"
"It should be its fresher; the cow was slaughtered this morning."
Jackson and Derek ate their meal making small talk, Jackson didn't want to bring up his date with Stiles since it was still a tentative thing, he wasn't sure if it would work out. He also didn't want to give Derek any ammunition to use against himself or Stiles. He wasn't sure if he fully trusted Derek, no matter how bad he wanted to.
"Jackson is it okay if we talk about…serious stuff,"
"Okay…like what,"
"I wanted to talk about the way I've treated you…" Derek could see the way Jackson paled could see him work to swallow the food still in his mouth and could smell the nervousness. Jackson just nodded though and so Derek continued.
"I know I've been…a bad person. I don't know what happened to me, I don't know what made me hate you so much. A small part of me was angry at seeing a person with so many opportunities, a person who had all the makings of a leader, of a good person, but back then you weren't…you weren't bad but you weren't good. I guess I got some sick pleasure from…giving you a taste of your own medicine…"
"Okay…"Jackson didn't know why Derek was telling him this, it was cruel to remind him of who he was, to bring up how people hated him.
"But you changed and you changed me. The bite I gave you…it connected us and it took me so much time to notice, I denied it because….because the thought that I had failed you killed me. I couldn't bare that I didn't change you, it made me feel weak and worthless and I took it out on you and for that…I'm so sorry. I never meant for our relationship to start out as victim and victimizer. But I want to tell you that I'm going to make it up to you, I'm going to be the person you need me to be, I'm going to be the Alpha you deserve and I guess I'm asking for your permission, I want to ask you to be a member of my pack and I want you to know that I will never treat you the way I did in the past. I want you to be my partner, my second in command…"
Jackson didn't know what to say, the entire thing was so…overwhelming. He never imagined Derek would ever apologize for what he had done. But Jackson was also chocked up no one had ever been so open to him in that way, no even Stiles who still kept a bit of distance between them. Derek wanted Jackson to know who he was and know him in return and Jackson didn't know what to say. All he could think of doing was nod, he couldn't talk, if he did he would cry and he promised himself that he would be stronger, not like the old weak Jackson, he would be better.
Derek sat next to him and put his arm across Jackson's shoulder and buried his head in his neck. Derek had never felt like crying after his parents died, he cried now, he had never felt so bare. The day he let the enemy into his house and watched it burn to the ground was the first time he had opened himself up to a person, today was the second. He needed his pack, he need support just as much as he could give it, and Jackson wouldn't let him down. Jackson hugged Derek as he cried and that sent Jackson over the edge, he let tears slowly trickle out of the corners of his eyes but he didn't sob. They sat like that until the sadness passed, all that was left was a silent promise that they would make each other happy, they wouldn't let each other down.
Derek enjoyed Jackson's sent, he smelled like cedar chips and fresh mown grass…and blood, Derek loved the smell. He was happy to just keep his head buried in Jackson's neck, but he knew that time for that had passed. He disentangled himself from Jackson and walked across the yard to the woods discarding his clothes as he went, Jackson followed. Together, naked, they walked deep into the woods and let the animals inside themselves out. They took their anger and sorrow out on the world around them. They purged themselves of all negativity until all that was left was the animal joy.
Across the woods high on a cliff Stiles became tired of waiting for Jackson, he obviously wasn't going to show up, and started his walk home.