IX

That evening after the picnic, he put in another call to Bill Adama. He didn't want to take much of his time, as the Cylons could be back at any moment. But he knew he needed to talk to the Admiral about Kara and what had taken place the day before. Bill Adama was genuinely flabbergasted at what he had been told.

"Admiral, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot, Mr. President", the Admiral responded.

"The Leoben who came with you. Where is he now, do you know?"

"Not at this moment. After we arrived, he left the fleet, and has been roaming the globe, studying the different religions of Earth", Adama wondered what this was about, "I've always thought he was kind of off his rocker to be honest, but I have to say he has a deep faith in what the Cylons have always called The One True God, and that he believes that all men, whether Cylon or Human, are brothers." He paused for a moment. "Why do you ask, sir?"

"Didn't you tell me that he and Kara have a long and rather interesting history?" Justin Bond was trying to approach his Aide's problems from a different perspective.

"That's an understatement", he said with a touch of wryness. Kara had tortured him on the Gemenon Traveller; Leoben held her in that Doll House on New Caprica for four months during the Cylon occupation where she 'killed' him about six times, and convinced her that she had a daughter. It was the avatar of Leoben that appeared to her in a vision before she disappeared for two months; he's the one who sought her out in proposing an alliance between the Cylon Rebel Baseship and Galactica.

"Is there any way to contact him?" The President pressed a little further.

"He didn't want to let us know where he was going, more because he just wanted to be left alone, and I don't really blame him, but he did tell me before he left that if we needed him in an emergency that we could contact him through Caprica", the Admiral continued on, "You think he can help you figure out what is going on with Kara?"

"I don't think it can hurt, do you? Sounds like he has a unique perspective on Captain Thrace."

"Another massive understatement, sir", Adama said wryly, "But yes, he does. Would you like me to contact him through Lieutenant Baltar?"

"If you would, as a personal favor to me, Admiral", the President said gratefully. "You've given me part of the puzzle to what the hell is going on, maybe Leoben can give me more."

"Consider it done, my friend. What would you like Caprica to tell him?"

"Have Lieutenant Baltar ask him that the President of The United States is requesting an audience with him here in Omaha out of my concern about Captain Kara Thrace." He paused after finishing the "invitation". "Think that will get his attention?"

"I believe it will, Justin. Mention Kara to him, and he is interested."

"If he agrees, Bill, please send a Raptor to wherever he is, and get him here ASAP. Advise me that he's coming."

"I will follow your instructions, Mr. President", Bill said, in parting, "I don't think you'll be waiting long."

Abigail didn't even remember walking from Starbuck's quarters to the family compound. The next thought she had was that she was on her own bed, crying hysterically, the frightening images of what she had just witnessed tearing through her like a razor-sharp scythe.

Nothing had ever scared or hurt her so much in her life. Kara hadn't done any damage to her physically when shoving her against the wall. Abby knew she could very well have. But the trauma of the moment and the look in Starbuck's eyes...

Abby knew something was very, very wrong with Kara. She idolized and loved Kara so much.
The person she had encountered a few minutes ago wasn't Captain Kara Thrace or Starbuck-it was a person that looked as if the devil himself had consumed her soul. More than her own personal safety, that frightened Abby Bond to no end.

Her dad and mom were at the picnic, and she didn't want to spoil the atmosphere of the family get-together. She desperately wanted to talk to her parents. Yet her emotions at that moment were out-of-control and she simply couldn't stop crying or shaking.

Within an hour, her mind and heart utterly spent, she had fallen into a deep but very unsettled sleep. She wouldn't wake until morning.

The Following Morning

The Admiral was correct with his prediction.

By late that evening Offutt Air Base time Caprica had found Leoben and he was flown by Raptor to Offutt Air Force Base for an 8am meeting with President Bond.

Caprica had told Leoben that he was being summoned about Kara, but had offered no specifics. The President wanted to save that for the meeting.

"Leoben, thank you very much for coming on short notice. It's amazing that you and I have never met.", he offered a seat to the man that he hoped would shed some light for him.

Leoben smiled warmly "I assure you, Mr. President, it wasn't personal. I made the decision to be a bit of a recluse after getting here. I simply wanted the time to myself. I was fed up with war and all the anger and hatred, so I sought some solitude."

"No offense taken, Leoben. You know what this meeting is about." He inquired, just to make sure he was up to speed.

"Yes, sir", Leoben nodded with no hint of overt emotion. "Kara and I have a long, complicated, and from both our points of view, not always a friendly relationship." That came out with more than a touch of regret.

"So Adama and Caprica have told me." He had been going over the dossier on Leoben again before he arrived, just as a refresher. "I think you'll have a unique perspective on her."

The President offered Leoben some water, which was accepted, and then he continued.

"You are aware of Kara's current status, I gather?"

"Yes, sir. Even though I roam and stay out of the limelight, as it were, I keep up with current events. She is your Attache to UED, and she's currently heading a squadron from this base that is fighting the invasion."

"Very good. I like a person who is up-to-date on the subject matter." He said approvingly, which made Leoben smile. "That makes my job a little easier."

"Thank you, sir." He took a sip from the glass of water. "Now, if I may, why exactly do you want to pick my brain about regarding Captain Thrace?"

The President proceeded over the next twenty minutes to run through her history since he had met her: the introduction, the stressful interview that she went through for the position; how she had truly grown and become a first-rate officer in every detail, and finally her sudden change in attitude and personality since the war had commenced, culminating with the disastrous talk with her two days before that.

"Now, Admiral Adama told me that this all sounded familiar to him, and gave me a few anecdotes to back that up. Does it sound familiar to you?" He looked directly at the Cylon.

Leoben's face had begun to darken with concern when the President had brought up her recent behavior. "Yes, sir, it sounds very familiar. As I said while I've remained away from everything, I do have sources, and I thought she was finally past all that."

"Explain?", the President commanded, as he also took a sip of water. "And don't omit anything, if you can."

Leoben then proceeded to go over his history with Kara, which, as Adama had told him, was quite extraordinary. It took him a good half hour to go through the details. He finally got to the part where Kara had rescued him from the damaged Cylon Scout ship and brought her aboard the Demetrius. It was at that point that the President stopped him.

"Leoben, back up. What did you specifically say to her after you thought she was going to beat the snot out of you on the Demetrius?" Something had peaked his interest.

Leoben had a brief laugh at that. "She did beat the snot out of me once, sir, but she didn't on the Demetrius. She had been telling me that she was the same person, but clearly, she wasn't. To this day, I don't know really what happened when her Viper exploded, allegedly, and then she came back two months later. I do know we found a destroyed Viper on the other Earth. The occupant in the cockpit was a blond female. I've never been able to explain that, and neither has she. But the point is when she returned after that two-month hiatus, and whatever had happened to her, she was different."

"Exactly how was she different? Remember, I've read reports and logs, but you seem to know what that difference might be." He inquired, trying to get into Kara's mind.

"You've read her official file I would assume, Mr. President?"

"Of course I have. Adama gave it to me before I interviewed her for the position here." He said, making a mental note recalling that file.

"Kara was always an incredible pilot. And yet, like her file obviously shows, she has a long history of insubordination, disobeying orders, even striking officers. And I presume you know what kind of personal life she had been living; the booze, the casual sex, and all too often not seeming to care."

"I am aware of all that, Leoben", he informed the man, "but how was she different after that?"

"Those things didn't mean anything to her after she came back. I told her on the Demetrius that I didn't see the old Kara Thrace, but, how did I say it?", he stopped in an effort to recall the conversation, "I told her that the woman who was into getting drunk, mouthing off at officers, and having one-night stands all the time was no longer there. I told her that she appeared to me like an Angel of God who wanted to lead her people. And yet when I hear about the higher-risk missions and the way she treated you at that party, it sounds like those old demons are back again."

There's still something missing, the President stated to himself. "In your view, what caused her to be the way she was before the ship explosion and getting to the other Earth?"

"A lot of that was her upbringing. Her mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic; she didn't know her father much. I believe that made her scared of getting close to people. There's no doubt Lee and the Admiral have always cared for her. And she married Sam. But it seems like that whenever she realized how attached she would get to someone, she'd suddenly rebel sir."

The light finally went on. "Wait a minute. You're saying you feel that she's afraid to really let anyone in, is that right?" He thought he almost had it. "She keeps trying to get close to people but when she realizes how close they're getting, she suddenly shuts them out?"

"Exactly, sir", Leoben confirmed. "She wants to be loved. She wants to be accepted. She wants to, well, fit in. But the scars that have been left behind from her childhood, from the war, and from her own insecurities always appear and push those closest to her away. And what adds to it is that she doesn't think she deserves to be loved and accepted"

That last observation jolted Justin Bond hard. Jesus, the President thought with alarm, thinking of the emotional dinner two night ago and her outburst at the picnic, that's it. It's happening to her all over again.

"From what I've told you about her attitude since the war started, do you think she's doing that again?"

"It sure sounds like it, Mr. President. It sounds all too familiar. She's frightened to death of being close to someone but frightened to death of being all alone, and it sounds like that war is still going on."

"So, she's fighting a war within, while also fighting a live shooting war", he said, almost to himself. "What do you think, in the end, she wants."

"She wants something that she feels has been missing all her life and has felt she's never come close to having it."

"What is she missing, Leoben?" He asked, thinking that he knew the answer.

"Kara's had friends, lovers, drinking buddies, fellow pilots, but never anything that she felt was uniquely hers, that no one could take away. As I said she wants to be loved and accepted for simply who she is, without any conditions, despite all her flaws. And she's always felt whether it's true or not, that no one has ever given her that unconditional acceptance and there were always strings attached. When things got too emotional, she'd cut the strings. And most importantly, she's never accepted her flaws."

At that moment, the President had an epiphany of sorts. Out of nowhere, a thought blossomed in his mind that hadn't even been hinted at, and he felt that now, he might have a way to help his Attache rid herself of these demons once and for all.

"Leoben", he concluded, ending the interview, standing up and shaking the man's hand, "I thank you very much for coming all this way to meet with me and discuss this. I know it was an inconvenience, and I truly appreciate it", he stood up and shook the Cylon's hand.

"It is my pleasure, Mr. President. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers, and for everyone fighting this war. She is a good person but she's still searching for that light of salvation that will save her. I thought it had happened after..whatever happened to her and that Viper. But I believe she still hasn't found what she was meant to be."

Now he needed to talk to Judy. The conversations with Adama and Leoben, plus the revelation that had come to mind, meant that they needed to talk.

But before that happened, things took another ominous turn.