Joke
I was a joke; I could almost hear the Capitol sniggering at me as I stumbled towards the raised platform, my face gummed up with tears and snot, I was worse than a baby, at least a baby had some control over themselves. I looked like an idiot, but this was my plan, I had to be weak, they had to think I was going to die. I wouldn't get any sponsors from it, but I wouldn't be hunted down by careers in the arena either. Sure, I didn't have much dignity now, but the joke would be on them.
Oath
I had made an oath with myself when I was seven; I wouldn't die in the arena, I wouldn't let the Capitol win this fight. I had read all the history books at school, analysed every move the Districts had made, what had gone wrong and how to fix it. If there was ever another rebellion I would be ready to fight, and if there wasn't another rebellion, I would know how to start one. I would fight back, I wouldn't just be another victor, broken and left to die. I would be a part of the uprising for freedom.
History
What was done was done. I had killed, but so had everybody. Every victor was a murderer. In all the books about the games every person was listed, and underneath each name was a list of who they had killed. The first name was Gem Allstone, she had killed six people, including a twelve year old from District 11. What she had done was brutal and vicious, what I had done was awful as well. But it was history, what I did now was to look into the future, why dwell in the past? It's a bad place for me.
Adorable
I was never the adorable type, if you wanted a cutesy little girl with pretty pigtails sprouting out of her head, go and look in District 1. That's where all the well off people lived, the girls were decked out in pink frocks and the boys in little suits, no one was poor in District 1; it was a cute fluffy heaven, filled with rainbows and pink unicorns. District 2 was the same, if not worse! At least in 4, you were put to work, you had that young innocence knocked out of you before it began to manifest itself.
Negligence
I had tried, I really had tried. I wanted another victor for my District. It meant that I wouldn't have to mentor anymore. I wouldn't have to watch as children met their sticky ends and know that it probably had something to do with me. If I said run at the cornucopia, then they would be caught and tortured. If I said fight at the cornucopia, they would be dead before they even stepped off their plate! I should have told them how to manage with the hunger, to ignore the pain. It was my negligence that had killed them.
Necessary
What I had done what necessary for my survival.. It should have been a straight line, reaping to winning. But why did there have to be so many twists and turns in it? Like the boy who had her face smashed repeatedly on a rock, blood and brains had splattered me as I ran from the cornucopia and what was left couldn't really have been described as a face at all. Why did the smallest girl have to cry and scream so loudly for her parents as I advanced on her with a knife? I just wanted to leave alive.
Altruistic
Some people thought that Peeta Mellark was selfless; he was ready to kill himself to save Katniss. What a laugh, if he had known the trouble he was going to cause, he would have killed himself before telling Katniss, before she talked him out of it and gave him an alternative. He would have ended his life before it all went wrong. Katniss would still be the Mockingjay, we would still have our rebellion, but it would be so much simpler. We wouldn't have to keep Peeta alive for her. Some people think he's altruistic, I think he's just stupid.
A/N: Gosh, I have been a while updating, I am truly sorry. Real life got the better of me for a while there, I was playing in a concert on Friday, Saturday was filled with saturday things and Sunday was spent procrastinating. I hope this makes up for it, please review :) xx