Chapter 9

Change

November 10

Aoto:: Sunday Night in Tokyo, and you know what that means. This is our Sailor Senshi hour. First we have an announcement. This comes from a letter Sailor Moon dropped off with the police.

She says: There have been several incidents recently with photographers getting too close to a battle. This is unsafe and puts them, and us, in danger. We cannot protect ourselves if we are constantly worrying about people sneaking up to get a picture of a Youma or us. We prefer that people leave the area during any attack. I know some of you won't listen, so if you do plan on watching or taking a photo of any battle, stay back by at least 200 yards and to take cover. No picture is worth your life.

Yuna:: There is also a charity event being planned to help the families affected by Youma violence. Sailor Mercury reports a total of seven deaths since the attacks began. They are asking for donations and are raffling off three items. The first is a rose bed. The second is a signed photograph, poster sized, of all five Senshi (see it here) and Tuxedo Kamen. And the third item is a meeting with the entire group, for one hour. The event will take place two weeks from tonight, and the three of us have been invited to attend.

Miyu:: Okay, let's move onto the powers exhibited by Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen then shall we?

Aoto:: Absolutely. We've all noticed the change in the Senshi. Each has gained at least one new attack, and there are several new joint attacks.

Miyu:: Right, and Tuxedo Kamen is showing the ability to heal physical wounds and has a smoking bomber attack and his new vines.

Yuna:: But the best one is his new joint attack with Sailor Moon. We have a picture here taken during an attack in a grocer. Coincidentally this grocer said he overheard them talking about their "NEW" attack. Okay, we're increasing the magnification on this one. Look here. Do you see the gold and silver sparks mingling? And look carefully at the center of the light. Roses. But not just red ones. Now there are red, white, pink, and purple roses.

Aoto:: Okay, so we've all seen Sailor Moon's new shield. She uses it a lot. Doesn't need Tuxedo Kamen to carry her everywhere these days… which makes it even more romantic that he always does. Sailor Moon also has the ability to heal, but hers seemed more focused on the mental portions and her sparks are silver not gold.

November 14

Chiba Mamoru didn't often truly lose his temper. He considered himself an even-tempered man most of the time. But recently he had found many reasons to be angry. The most pressing was the memory of a gun held to Usagi's throat and a choice to watch her die or rape her. It had destroyed him to do it, and he remembered screaming at the man, begging him not to force him to do it. He remembered begging for someone to come and rescue them both... and then the horror of realizing Usagi's friends, her Senshi had witnessed the tail end of the atrocious act.

Another reason to be angry was the Negaverse. Queen Beryl must have been in a snit, because after two weeks of silence, there had been at least one attack per day, sometimes more. His powers were growing, as were Usagi's. He was able to control the Earth to a certain extent, form vines as well as roses, and could now heal any physical injuries. While Usagi's powers seemed to cascade out of her. On top of the new shield she could produce, she could now heal the minds of those who were affected by Youma, or even other mental hurts. She could levitate and had learned that her bracelets came off and could be thrown at a Youma and they would cuff it automatically. But they were both exhausted. The latent powers of the other Senshi were coming to the surface as well, but not nearly at the same rate, and as a result they had to pick up the slack during every battle.

His anger at his community was the biggest on his mind now. Rumors about what he and Usagi had endured were everywhere. Somehow the story had gotten out in full. He was quite certain that someone had let it slip accidentally, but now they both had to face the aftermath. Most people were sympathetic, but their comments didn't help. They asked her how she could even look at him after everything. They asked him if he felt guilty. They asked their friends what it had been like to witness a double rape. They asked Usagi's parents if their daughter was still a good girl. They asked Motoki if he could still be friends with "that Chiba kid." To be completely honest, he wanted to take Usagi and run away. But he had responsibilities.

He was sitting in English class one afternoon, ignoring everyone around him, when something happened that finally made him snap. One of the boys in his class, a punk named Yodu who felt entitled because of his parents' wealth, turned around in his seat and asked Mamoru a question. He didn't even hear the kid, he was so lost in thought. A hand slapping down hard on his desk jerked him back to reality. He looked up, annoyed.

"So, Chiba," he asked in a loud voice. "Now that your girl isn't a virgin anymore, do you get it whenever you want?"

Mamoru didn't remember standing or picking the punk up. He had no idea when he threw him across the classroom and into the blackboard. He became suddenly aware some time later that he was being held by the arms and around the middle. Motoki was in front of him, yelling his name and asking him to calm down. His breathing was ragged as images popped into his brain. Images where he was being forced to rape his girl. Images of her tears as she struggled with the people around her constantly asking for information like what had happened to them was juicy gossip instead of a crime.

And he broke. Sobbing, he fell to his knees in front of Motoki. His friend knelt too, gathering him into a hug. And Chiba Mamoru, the cold, stern, always calm and collected high school junior, wept like a small child. Every bitter thought, every harsh look, every recriminating glance, every moment of loneliness and sadness that had filled his life crashed down on him until he couldn't bear the weight any longer. He couldn't stop the flow of tears, or the words pouring out of his mouth.

"He made me hurt her, Motoki, he made me hurt her." Time seemed to fail him, the tears unending, the self-blame eating away at him as he clutched at his first friend. "I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help her. It was me hurting her and I couldn't do anything!" His bitter flow continued. "The gun! Motoki, every time I close my eyes, it's all I can see. Him holding it to her throat, making me hurt her. And I can never take it back." His nose and eyes were running, his ears were ringing, and his head felt like it would explode from the pressure. "What if she stops loving me because I can't take it back?" And with this last thought, unspoken before even in his mind, he collapsed to the floor, curling into a ball, still sobbing.

The room was hushed as people listened, not really intending to pry or intrude, but unable to look away or move. They were there when the light walked in and rescued Chiba Mamoru. A light, clothed in middle school uniform, calm but urgent, kind and gentle, but enraged... the light walked in. She knelt, gathering Mamoru against her. Motoki helped him to sit up, and she held him against her breast like a new babe. Her words were soft. Her voice smooth as silk.

"Mamo-chan," she said, and no one moved or breathed a word, as an even greater hush fell on the students. "Mamo-chan, I'm here." She kissed his forehead, and he stared up at her, in awe of her beauty, her kindness, her outpouring of love as she looked back into his eyes. "Shh, it's okay. I love you more than the moon Chiba Mamoru. I love you more than the sun and the earth and all the stars in the sky." She smoothed his damp, sweaty hair away from his face.

"Do you know what I was thinking that night Mamoru? Over and over I said to myself, 'Mamoru isn't the one who is raping me.' And it's the truth. You must learn to accept it Mamo-chan. I know it's hard, and you feel like you did something wrong, but it wasn't just me who was raped. It was you too. And because of what they were forced to see, in an odd way it was our friends too. It wasn't your fault, and you will never ever lose me. I won't leave you. I promise to love you longer than I live, to protect you even after I am dust. Do you understand? Always."

His sobs were subsiding as he looked up at his angel, his princess. He wanted to believe her, but he had that shame dug so deep into his core he didn't know how to pull it out.

"Do you hate me?" He asked on a shuddering breath.

"CHIBA MAMORU!" And now her tone brooked no argument. She was the Moon Princess Serenity incarnate, with royal command in her tone, and in her face. "You listen to me, my love. I could never hate you. Never. I know what you have lived through. I know your past, your present, and even part of your future. I do NOT hate you. There is no room for love and hate to co-exist. And I love you. I love you so much sometimes it hurts to breathe. I can point to you from across town and know how you are feeling. Know when you need me. I love you more than I could express in words." She bent down and gently kissed him on the mouth.

With Motoki's help she got him to his feet, and brought him out to her father, who was waiting in the car. He had rushed to her, when she called him in a panic, and when he saw the boy he was glad he had. And he hoped, now that Mamoru had finally broken down, that they could rebuild his spirit.

The story spread, as gossip tends to. But no asked any more questions. No one judged either of the two teens anymore. And no one pitied either one. They were sad of course, and wished they had not endured such pain, but no one could pity a man whose love had known he was in pain without a call. No one could pity him when she had come for him and expressed such love and devotion.

And no one could pity her when she had a love who wept for causing her pain, though he had been forced to do it or end her life. No one could pity her as they watched the couple in the days that followed. If people had known Serenity and Endymion they would have pitied them, but no one could pity Usagi and Mamoru anymore. And without pity, there is no contempt.

They weren't perfect people, neither one. She was a klutz who did poorly in school, ran constantly, ate too many sweets, and loved video games to the point of distraction. He was slightly reclusive and tended to be cool and even a little smug. He focused too much on grades and schoolwork and drank too much black coffee. But together, they were more than either could be alone. Her grades improved, and he learned to laugh at himself. She learned to work hard, and he learned to play. And often, as people watched, they could tell when she knew he needed to be away from people and would drag him away for a walk in the park. When she was sad, he would tease her until she lost her temper, and then make up by kissing her and carrying her around.

November 24

Aoto:: Hello and welcome to this weeks Sailor Senshi Hour! Well it's Sunday night in Tokyo folks and we have had an interesting few weeks.

Yuna:: That's right, it seems we are getting several attacks per day. And sometimes one or more of the Senshi don't appear... Usually during school hours. You have to figure this is a bunch of high school kids who have had some pretty insane things happen to them.

Miyu:: I still say the girls are younger than that. I mean look at them. Yes, Sailor Moon has fully grown all of a sudden, but remember even back before her and Tuxedo Kamen disappeared she looked like she might be thirteen or fourteen developmentally speaking.

Aoto:: How do you think it affects them in their normal lives. Sailor Moon says they have families. What do they think of all this? Are they proud or scared?

Yuna:: And what about school work... after school jobs... a social life? These kids have been out training until dark nearly every night this week. They take turns on patrol every night too.

Aoto:: Has anyone ever noticed a disproportionate number of attacks in the Juban District? Especially the park near the Crown Arcade and Café in the middle of the night, and the shopping centers just after people get out of work.

Miyu:: I actually hadn't noticed that. I wonder if we could get a message to them somehow.

Yuna:: We're on TV.

Miyu:: Right. Okay, Sailor Mercury, you might be able to answer our questions. Perhaps you could send your answer to the police to pass on to us. Why are there so many attacks in these locations? Why at that time of the day? And also, why do you think these Youma are draining people of energy? Is there something people can do to protect themselves?

November 29

The Negaverse attacks finally slowed a bit about five weeks after they were released from the hospital. All the Senshi, as well as Tuxedo Mask, were exhausted, and a bit grumpy. Sailor Moon felt it more than the others because she was often the one who finally brought down a Youma, though all the others were sharpening their skills and had kills under their belts now too. It was hard, tiring work, and they wished they could have a break.

Usagi fell asleep in class, her head resting on her arms, and woke up with Haruna-sensei telling her to go stand in the hall. She wasn't feeling very well today. Too many battles, not enough food, and he was feeling a little dizzy and restless. She had a bad taste in her mouth, like she had been sucking on a coin, which, she assured herself... she would never do again, as the one time she had done that, when she was little, she had swallowed it, sending her mother into a panic.

Usagi had to stay in the hall twenty minutes before the bell rang for lunch. Makoto and Ami met her and walked out to their favorite lunch spot under a tree. She was hungry and rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Makoto had been making her lunches for a while now because she loved the way Usagi reacted to food. It was fun to have someone else to cook for, because living alone, without family, sucked.

Today, after Makoto had handed her the lunch pail, she opened it to see a beautiful array of chicken tempura and rice with cut peppers. Her stomach lurched, and she set the pail down and raced for a clump of bushes where she was violently ill. Ami came over and held her hair back, and Usagi sobbed and shook. She hated getting sick. She had no clue what she had eaten that could have been bad, but now she just wanted to go home.

Ami pulled out her communicator and called Mamoru. She had made his communicator special so that it vibrated or rang depended on the settings, and she was planning on doing the same for the rest. Plus, his looked much like a plain black watch until you flipped it open. He answered quickly, and she explained Usagi was sick. The girl was still dry-heaving.

Makoto went inside and ran to the office asking if Usagi could be sent home. She explained what had happened and told the secretary they were calling her boyfriend. The secretary Mian-sensei stood up and looked out the window, then turned back to the teenager.

"Makoto..." She wasn't sure how to say what her fear was. "Have him take her to the doctor. She needs to take a test."

"What test? We don't have a test this week Mian-sensei." Makoto said, not understanding.

"Makoto, not a school test." She leaned forward, and her voice dropped. "A pregnancy test."

Mamoru arrived quickly and gathered up Usagi, who was no longer getting sick, but was still shaking. When he gathered her into his arms she cuddled there like a small child. He turned and walked to the car, helping her into the seat. He was about to climb in himself when Makoto raced out of the building and called his name. "I'll be right back Usako. Ami will stay with you for a minute, okay?" When she nodded he turned back to the other girl who was waving for him to come over.

"Hey Mamoru-san. The secretary needs to talk to you for a second." He followed her inside to see an anxiously pacing middle-aged woman. Makoto looked anxiously between the two several times and then sat in one of the chairs against the wall while Mamoru went to the desk.

The woman started talking without preamble or honorifics. "You have to take her to the doctor today." She said, now wringing her hands. "For a TEST."

Mamoru shook his head quickly in denial. "Iie!"

"She's been dizzy, sleeping more, cranky, and now this. She needs the test."

"But she bled!"

"Some woman do once or twice. She needs the test Chiba." Her tone was firm.

"Hie. I'll take her now." But his legs were shaking, and he had to sit for a moment while the room spun a bit. "Can I make a call?"

The secretary put the phone on the counter. He pulled out a card and called the nurse from the hospital.

"Moshi, Moshi."

"Hello. It's Chiba Mamoru. I need help."

When he pulled up to the hospital Usagi was sleeping, her mouth slightly open, leaning against the window. He carefully opened her door and carried her to the office on the second floor. The doctor there was aware of their circumstances and no one in the office would judge either of them. He signed her in and woke her so that she could help him fill out the paperwork.

"I don't understand why I have to take a test Mamo-chan. I bled."

"Some women do apparently, once or twice."

Usagi was silent then, absorbing the information. A single tear fell, and she reached for the pen. Mamoru was fervently hoping her mother would get here before they got the results. He didn't know what to say or do. A girl needed her mother in a time like this. He wrapped his arm around her and helped her with some of the information. She tended to forget dates and things.

The nurse called them back, and weighed her, took her temperature, and sent her into the bathroom to pee in a cup. She was given a pelvic exam, and he turned around while she undressed her lower half, but she wouldn't let him leave her alone because she was afraid. He asked the nurse to wait until her mother showed up for the results while Usagi in the bathroom. But it had been nearly an hour since they had started the appointment.

The nurse told Usagi that most of the tearing hadn't scarred, which was a good thing. Usagi did not do well during the exam, hiding her head in his armpit and crying. He wanted to make it better, but he didn't know how, so he just decided to tell her a story.

"Do you know where your name really comes from Usagi? He asked. She shook her head no.

"Tsuki no Usagi is the story of the moon rabbit. You see, once, a very, very long time ago, the Old Man of the Moon decided to come to the earth. He disguised himself as a beggar and asked for help. Now, at that time, there lived a Fox, a Monkey, and a Rabbit. He went first to Monkey, who climbed up a tall tree and brought the man down some fruit. Then he met Fox, who went to the steam and caught the beggar a fish. He was very pleased with their kindness. Then the Old Man of the Moon, still in his disguise, went to Rabbit. Poor Rabbit had nothing to offer him but some grass. So, he asked the beggar to build up a fire. After it was started, Rabbit jumped into it and offered himself as a meal for the beggar to eat.

"Quickly the beggar changed back into the Old Man of the Moon and pulled Rabbit from the fire. He said, "You are most kind, Rabbit, but don't do anything to harm yourself. Since you were the kindest of all to me, I'll take you back to the moon to live with me. The Old Man of the Moon gathered Rabbit into his arms and took him to the moon. He is still there to this day, exactly where the Old Man left him. So, if you look up at the moon in the night sky you can see him."

By the time the story had ended the exam was finished, and Ikuko had entered the room. Usagi was still teary, but she was looking up at Mamoru with so much love and trust, that he bent down and kissed her gently. Her mother helped her dress and the three of them sat for a moment and waited.

"So," said Ikuko. "You know why I thought your name was perfect now." Usagi nodded, held tightly between her mother and Mamoru.

"Haha, I thought if I bled I wasn't pregnant. I didn't know some women do bleed."

"It's okay Usagi. I should have thought about it. I just assumed, and that wasn't very smart of me."

"I assumed too," added Mamoru. "And I'm studying to become a doctor. I should have at least looked it up."

Finally, the doctor opened the door. He pulled the rolling stool over so that he could sit with them. "Well, the tearing has healed, and there are no signs of any infections. It helps that you were both virgins when it happened, so we don't have to worry about STD's or anything. But I'm afraid you are pregnant Usagi. I don't know if you will be happy about this, but I offer one piece of comfort. Despite the fact you were both raped, this child is from the man you love, and not the man who hurt you both."

The silence in the room was deafening. Then Ikuko sobbed. Usagi sniffled. Mamoru just wrapped his arms around them both and held on as if they were the only things keeping him from drowning.