You promised and I know that you'll always care
Through good times, through bad times you're always there
Hold me now, don't ever let me go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
Straight From The Heart - S Club
She felt so goofy, she wanted to believe all he said was true, but how could she? It meant putting herself out there, being both vulnerable and defenceless. Both things she did not enjoy being.
He promised to always take care of her, she knew that wasn't a lie. They had seen both good times and bad, but they always remained friends. Their love was a rock, but it was the friendly kind of love, that was it, friends, they had an amazing friendship, but she longed for more, she always had. Had he?
There were times when the only thing she needed was to be held, and only by that one special person,it was the only thing that helped the nightmares, help make the bad seem not so bad.
That happened in Alaska, she was nearly ready to throw in the towel and run back underground and off the grid. The bad was so overpowering sometimes, so unnatural and unmentionable, it made her shudder. She hated when the darkness threatened to take over. He talked her out of it, he always did. He made her feel like things would be all right, she felt so loved, so needed, that she was cared for. Her Noir Hero, he always did that for her. He promised to be there the rest of her life, but would he actually be? Could she trust that?
To complicate things more, there was Kevin, he was a really nice guy most days, but she was not truly happy, how could she be when half of her heart belonged to someone else, to someone so special, so amazing that he was within reach but far from reach all at the same time. It was not fair to lead Kevin on anymore than she already had.
She was in love with Derek; and she could pinpoint the exact moment when it turned from "school girl crush" to full blown love. It was right after she was shot. He spent so much time with her, helping her, caring for her, protecting her. It was then that her feelings had shifted from crush to full blown love. That was the first time he told her he loved her, too, and she him. At that point, she meant it as much as she did every day in her life. Now their love was implied.
He already knew she cared, everyone did. They saw the reactions that she had when he nearly died on more than one occasion, it broke her up to know he was hurt and could have died. His reaction was no different when she was shot, no one could miss the pain in his eyes when he saw her in that hospital bed.
They had a special kind of love, one that would last forever, it was straight from their hearts.