Patience Is Its Own Reward
Disclaimer: I do not own SkipBeat or any of its characters.
2nd Disclaimer: I do not own Ashlee Simpson's "Shadow." I chose to use the piece with the highest respect for both the singer and the song.
Kyoko is still attending school and is trying to make the most of it before it graduation, with Ren and Sho chasing her every step of the way.
Chapter 10 – The Chin Drop
It was the first week of April before Kyoko finally had to admit the truth to herself. It was difficult to accept, but it was the truth nonetheless: At her current level of playing, she couldn't produce the feeling, the sound, and the intensity that she wanted for this song.
* * *
Nikino slammed her hands on the strings of her Stratocaster, making Michiko and Nanami wince at the discordant sound. "Aauugh! I hate this!! Of all of the times for Sani to graduate! Why couldn't they schedule this stupid contest before graduation?"
Nikino, Michiko, and Nanami were in much the same situation as Kyoko. The trio were life-long friends who had dropped-out after middle-school to pursue their music. Along the way they had met Sani, a girl with the raspy, rock and roll voice that fit their sound perfectly. But Sani's parents had stood firm about one issue: Sani had to finish high school, and she could only play in a band who also took education seriously. So the three young ladies had reluctantly re-enrolled.
With Sani as lead singer they had made an immediate splash in pop music. But Sani had just graduated, and her attitude lately suggested that she might be exploring her options. The three friends were worried. Besides, now that Sani was graduated, she was no longer eligible to perform in the school talent competition. Among them, Nikino had the best voice, but it didn't have the power or appeal of Sani's voice.
They had reserved the school's large practice room for the afternoon so that they could try out different song choices. They were on their third song and hadn't found anything that matched them as a trio. Without Sani it all felt like amateur hour.
"Don't give up, Nikino!" Michiko pleaded, "This is our last term and we just have to perform!" Michiko played bass with a real flair, but her voice was nominal at best.
"You can do it, Niki," Nanami pleaded as she spun a drumstick. "We just have to pick a song that fits your voice better."
They all looked up in surprise as they heard the door being opened. Nikino was about to yell at the intruder when her voice froze in her throat. All three girls went ashen. "Relax, girls. I just want to talk to you."
Within a half hour the three girls were beaming with joy. Now they knew that they had a lock on the competition. Their only worry was that their new lead singer was relentless, picking out every detail, every nuance of the music until they began to wonder if they would survive the next three weeks.
* * *
Love is agony. You go through your young life blissfully ignorant of the fact that you are only half a person. Then, one day, you meet a person who completes you; someone who is your other half in every conceivable way. Only life is never that kind, or simple. Because, while I am romantic enough to believe that such a person exists for each person, I am also realist enough to acknowledge that you seldom find that exact person.
And even if you do find that person, it is unlikely that the person will just fall into your arms and say "let's make a life together." Love takes time to grow, and there are many pitfalls along the way. And even if you find the right person, you still have to make yourself into the right person so that you can be worthy of the one you love.
Ren had promised himself to be patient. What he feared the most in the world was that he would do something to hurt Kyoko and drive her away. Since the night of the graduation Kyoko had kept her promise: she wasn't pushing him away. But she wasn't the same, either. Something in Kyoko had changed, and it worried Ren. She seemed… more aware… less naïve. But if she was aware, was she aware of his feelings for her? And if she knew the truth, then what did she feel in return?
The most difficult thing about love is that there is always the possibility of loss. Right now the possibility that he could lose Kyoko was making him feel tense and worried every moment of the day and night. Of course, Lory was pleased. In fact, he was ecstatic. He was finally seeing Ren "suffer in love." He was also pleased because on Ren's other jobs his love scenes were showing real depth now. Of course, the poor actresses who played opposite him were receiving the full brunt of his newfound depth. More than one leading lady was setting her sights on a more permanent attachment to the tall actor. But no matter how beautiful the lady was, she couldn't seem to catch his interest.
They were on set, filming a scene between the B.J. and the character that Kyoko had been asked to play. Kyoko was completely in-character. Ren, as B.J., was bent over, yelling in Kyoko's face, when she slapped him across his cheek with a resounding "smack." B.J. was about to grab her by the shoulders when…
"Cut!" Both actors looked over toward the director to find out what was wrong with the scene, "I think that you went a little overboard, Setsu (the director could see that she was still in-character as the actor's sister). Kain's face is bleeding."
Kyoko's eyes grew wide with alarm, but Ren shook his head. "She didn't hit me that hard. It doesn't even…" he saw her fingers and took her hand, "Kyoko, your hand!!"
She looked down at her small hand in his large ones. Everyone on the set was struck by the undeniable concern and tenderness in Ren's voice and actions. The moment seemed to stretch on forever, with Ren kneeling in front of Kyoko, holding her hand and looking into her eyes. Kyoko stood still, not tensing and not jerking away; only meeting his eyes. Suddenly her eyes opened wide and she tried to pull her hand away, but Ren held on, "Mogami-san, what's wrong with your hand?"
"I'm fine, Tsuruga-san. It's just my fingers. They're a little cut up from playing guitar."
"A little!?!" Ren turned her hand over and tenderly opened her fingers. The liquid bandages had peeled, and her fingers looked red and raw "Oh, Kyoko, is this because of my challenge?"
"It's not your fault, Sempai. I want to compete. I want to play and I want you to hear my song." Her face turned red as she uttered her last words. She tried to pull her hands away again and this time he released her.
"Go get your hands taken care of, Mogami-san." He wanted to take it easy on her, but he knew that she wouldn't like that. "Hurry, we still have scenes to finish. After that you are going out to dinner with me."
Kyoko didn't even think to protest. She let herself be led off by the make-up crew and the on-site medical staff.
As the medic worked on her fingers, Tonami Momo, the hair-stylist, fidgeted with her hair, "Oh, that was so touching to watch, Mogami-san. You are SO lucky!"
Kyoko looked up at her in confusion. Momo smirked, "Oh, come on, Mogami-san! Everyone in the studio knows how he feels about you. He's not exactly doing a good job hiding it. And after that little scene even the doubters will admit the truth."
Kyoko sat there, stunned, and let everyone work on her. For some reason she was having serious problems keeping a smile off of her face.
If the cast and crew was expecting to see more drama between the actor and actress, they were disappointed. On-set and in-character, Tsuruga Ren and Mogami Kyoko were professionals. The rest of the scenes went off without a single re-take.
Ren was waiting for her when she stepped out of her changing room. He nodded to her without speaking and they both walked to his car. "Where's Yashiro-san?"
"He had … other duties to perform." He turned on the car, pulled out, and headed out of the parking lot. "Mogami-san, I need to apologize."
Kyoko shook her head, "Tsuruga-sempai, I told you that I want to compete…"
"No, it's not that. I… I should have been more careful about my behavior." He looked over at her with concern in his eyes, "Mogami-san, we're both celebrities now. That means that our lives aren't really our own. Everything we do… or they think we are doing… is open for public consumption."
Kyoko looked at him and met his eyes as he turned to her again, "Yashiro tells me that people are talking. Ever since someone found out the true identity of the actor Kain Heel, the reporters have been paying a lot of attention to this filming. Any day now, possibly even tomorrow, the press will decide that you… and I… are an item."
Kyoko didn't know how to respond. Is he saying that it's true, or that it isn't true?I
As if Ren was reading her mind, he said, "You're only seventeen, Mogami-san. You're still in high school. The press will eat this alive. They will try to corner me, but it won't take long before they realize that you're an easier target."
Kyoko understood now. One part of her wanted to do as she had done for the last year: cringe in the corner and think about how ridiculous it was for people to connect her with such a great actor. But the last two weeks had changed her perspective. "Thank you for telling me… what happens now?"
Ren was completely confused. Kyoko wasn't reacting in the way that he expected. She wasn't apologizing, she wasn't cringing, and she wasn't melting away. But she also wasn't letting him know her own feelings. He pulled into the restaurant parking lot and turned off the car. But he stopped her when she started to get out. "Mogami…" He took a deep breath, "Mogami-san, what has happened? Something about you has changed, and I'm not sure how to act with you right now. Did I do something wrong?"
For the first time since she met Tsuruga Ren, Kyoko realized something: He wasn't perfect. He was feeling vulnerable, worried, maybe even scared. It made him seem more endearing to her. But he was still the most magnetic and intimidating man she had ever met and she didn't have a handle on how to deal with him. "I've just become more… aware. I'm finally seeing things that I never let myself see before, Tsuruga-san."
He looked at her, trying to read her and failing. Finally, he decided to discuss the most immediate problem. "I asked you to go to dinner tonight without thinking about everything that I just told you. If we get out of this car and go in there, chances are that somebody will see us. That didn't matter before, but now that people have decided that we are… close, everything we do will generate talk. Mogami-san, I want you to walk in there with me. I want to enjoy a nice dinner with you. Will you have dinner with me?"
Kyoko blushed, "I would love to have dinner with you, Tsuruga-san."
They enjoyed a pleasant dinner together in a private corner. If they were recognized, nothing was ever said about it.
* * *
The Annual Talent Show at Kijima High is practically a red-carpet event. Many of the who's who in the entertainment industry had young relations attending the school, and many of those young relations would also be performing that evening. This year was especially well attended because of the sudden interest in one of the competitors.
The first story had hit the press only three days before the event, and now it was generating a publicity storm. The title of the story in the gossip rag was, "Tsuruga Ren has finally found his woman… or should we say girl?" Someone had gotten a picture of Kyoko dressed as Setsu, which added considerably to public interest in the story. As Ren had predicted, most of the press focused on her. Thankfully, Kijima school, being a school full of budding celebrities, had security in-place to prevent intrusion. But that didn't help Kyoko when she wasn't at school.
One enterprising reporter had somehow discovered where Kyoko was living. Since yesterday she had been camping out with Kotonami Kanae to avoid him.
But she refused to let it affect her evening. She and every other competing student had worked far too hard for this. As she waited for everything to start, she slipped into the auditorium to say hello to her friends. She was in disguise, thanks to Jelly Woods, and only those who had already seen her would have known that the mousy, bespectacled girl was really the young lady that every press agent in town was chasing. But just to be safe, this time she didn't run out yelling "Moko-san!"
She walked right past one reporter with a camera ready and sidled down a crowded aisle until she arrived at the place where everyone was waiting. "Moko-san, Maria-chan, President, Taisho, Okami-san; thank you for coming"
Maria started to blurt out an excited greeting, but she quickly stifled it. She was almost whispering as she told Kyoko, "Sawara-san and Ren-sama are here too, Onee-chan. I think that they're hiding in a corner somewhere."
Kyoko nodded in reply, but she couldn't keep herself from searching the crowded auditorium for her tall sempai. "I have to go back and get ready. I was listed pretty early, but all of this hype has the faculty worried. They moved us to last so that the press doesn't mess up everyone else's performances."
Kanae raised an eyebrow, "us?"
"You'll see. I hope that you enjoy your evening. Gotta go!"
She had almost made it back to the girl's dressing area when a large hand grabbed her arm and pulled her into a classroom. Kyoko found herself facing a very unhappy looking Fuwa Sho. "Is it true?"
"Is what true, Sho?"
"You know what I'm talking about, Kyoko. Are you dating Tsuruga Ren?" He was torn between worry and anger. Everywhere he went for the last two days he had either heard or seen something about the scandal.
"Look, Sho, I am not dating Tsuruga Ren or anyone else. But even if I was, it wouldn't be any of your business."
"It is my business, Kyoko! I thought that I made that clear. I… I want…" he was prevented from speaking when a group of students walked by the classroom door.
While they waited for the students to pass, Kyoko met Sho's eyes, but her look was not encouraging, "I am not the young girl who followed you around and basked in your reflected glow, Sho-san. Now go out and enjoy the show. I have to get ready."
Jelly Woods was waiting for her, looking slightly frantic. "You're late, Kyoko! I need to get you fixed up and then go out. I don't want Darling to forget that he promised me a seat beside him. Were you accosted by reporters?"
"Something like that. Thank you so much for doing this, Jelly-san."
"It's a pleasure. I got my start on high school girl's hair. Now I get to primp my favorite young starlet." Jelly was working her magic as she spoke. She truly did like to work on Kyoko. The way that Kyoko's entire character changed with her appearance only seemed to make Jelly's work seem more magic.
"And the others?"
"All set and working hard not to gnaw their fingernails off. Your new notoriety has them a little distressed."
The auditorium was packed beyond what the fire codes allowed. The students knew that part of the hype was for other reasons, but the packed house still inspired them. Every competitor was performing to his or her best potential.
Finally there was only one more performance. The stage lights went off for long enough that people started muttering. A simple series of notes on an electric/acoustic guitar was heard and everyone quickly became silent.
A single spotlight began dim and slowly became brighter as it illuminated a pretty girl sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage. Those who knew her best knew that Kyoko was in a new character now; she was a coffee-house singer, strumming away and preparing to deliver her soul to the audience.
Jelly had done her magic. Dressed in cut blue jeans, penny loafers, and several torn layers of shirts, she looked sultry without looking brass. Everything about her seemed comfortable, alone on the stage with just her guitar for a friend. And then she began her song.
Ren had heard her singing her hurt and pain out in his apartment. Only he, and very few others, had expected anything special from Kyoko. Her first words made everyone sit up as they came out soft, clear, and beautiful…
I was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
As she continued her song, an electric guitar softly joined in; next, a bass; and finally, at the chorus, drums brought out the beat. The lights came on to reveal Nikino, Michiko, and Nanami. The fans, friends and families of those ladies whistled and clapped. But the power of Kyoko's voice, the quality of the band, and the strength of the message made everyone lapse quickly back into silence.
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me
The audience had been unprepared for the soft voice of the lone girl to become wonderfully rock-ish and raspy. The four girls had practiced the transition until every note was perfect, and now their hard work was creating a performance that captivated the audience.
Kyoko had translated the words to Japanese, careful to make the words fit in perfectly with the music and still deliver the impact of the original. Jelly had studied each of the girls and found their perfect look, so that they were just as captivating and beautiful as the music.
The audience sat mesmerized until the music softened and the lights began to fade. Only Kyoko was visible now as she delivered the final stanza.
Living in, living in, living in a shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day
The audience sat in silence for what seemed like minutes, until a tall, blond young man jumped up and began whistling and clapping. Everyone else joined in immediately. The lights came on and all four girls bowed their appreciation.
With so many outstanding performances it was difficult for the judges to choose a winner. Kyoko and the girls had to settle for second place. First place went to a violinist who would eventually become world-renowned for his style and skill. But Kyoko was pleased. And she did win two other victories.
The first victory was with the press. Her success up until that moment had been in acting out "bad" girls. The press was always quick to criticize and they questioned Tsuruga Ren's tastes. Several films were made of the performances that night. One of those films would make it onto all of the major Japanese entertainment newscasts. After that night the reporters never questioned Ren's taste again.
The other victory was the one which had once dominated Kyoko's existence. She had even painted a Daruma doll while expressing her intention to pursue this one goal: She would make Fuwa Sho's chin drop and make him regret that he had ever let her go. It had been Sho who leapt up to start the applause. His jaw had dropped, he had been enchanted, and he would regret his mistake for many, many years.
Kyoko felt happy and relieved as she and her three new friends made their way back through the congratulatory handshakes of the other competitors. She longed for solitude by the time she was finally through the crowd and standing at the dressing-room door.
She saw it as soon as she walked into the small room that had been commandeered by Jelly Woods. It stood out from everything else and seemed to pull at her from across the room. She walked slowly, relishing its beauty. Once she was standing in front of it she raised her slender hand up to gently touch the petals. With her other hand she opened the card.
It read: The Queen of Roses for the Princess of Song. Your song was as beautiful as you are. Ren.
Notes: I sincerely hope that I'm not breaking any rules by providing snippets of Ashlee Simpson's song "Shadow." I searched and searched for a song that would communicate Kyoko's feelings about Sho (and about her mother in a way). Of course, the lyrics don't exactly match Kyoko's story, but the sentiment of breaking free is so powerful that I could just see Kyoko singing it. You can listen the Ashlee Simpson original on YouTube at /watch?v=HrqvMnYv9z8. I highly encourage you to do so. She is a beautiful young woman with a wonderful voice.
If I have violated any rules, please let me know and I'll remove the lyrics immediately.
Everyone who responded agrees that the make-up artist's name is Jelly Woods, despite the translation of 154. It sounds cooler anyway, so I'll go with that.
A reviewer with the alias SID chose the correct song. SID was unsigned, so I can't reply directly.