Wow you guys, what a roller coaster of a story this has been so far.
I know a lot of you are a little upset that Gale and Katniss are so close, and together right now, but you really have nothing to worry about. Like I've stated previously, this is obviously going to be an Everlark endgame story, I just need to establish a storyline, and adjust a few things. It's not easy to transition from being with someone for so long, and having a baby with them, to dating and being with someone else. So please, let me write my story then way I need to. Katniss and Peeta's relationship will take off soon enough, but you have to understand that Katniss and Gale have some unfinished business.
I love you all and all the support that you have provided me throughout this story, and I couldn't be any more grateful than I am right now. I hope you all stick with me through thick and thin with this story, and stay until the end.
Enjoy the chapter, lovelies.
And ear piercing cry is what eventually wakes me out of my slumber.
The first thing that registers clearly in my mind is where I am. It's coming to the end of the three week period with Gale staying here, and it hurts me more than anything to know that that in a few days, I'm going to be waking up without him. I can't imagine what it's going to be like without him here with me.
He's been such an amazing help over the last three weeks, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself once he leaves. And I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I am, and I can't change the way that I feel.
I would say that I want him gone, out of my house, and out of my life, but I just can't. I don't know what happened to me, but something has been keeping me from letting him go.
He wanted to stay in the guest bedroom during his time here, but I wouldn't let him. I even begged him to stay with me, because truth be told, I missed him. I missed the feeling of just being held and comforted, and Gale was here to give me that comfort that I've been craving all this time. It's all I've ever wanted from him, and once I finally got it, I didn't want to let that go.
It just felt right, being with him, and Maria. Everything just felt like normal, like it's what was meant to happen. But good things are usually short lived, and in just a few days, he has to leave again. And I now feel like I need to start to slowly distance myself from him, yet again.
I try to sit up, but Gale's arm is so tightly draped around me, I can't move. "Gale," I say loudly, shaking his shoulder. "Let go," his grip loosens just enough for me to slip out from under the covers and make my way out of the room. I take one last look at him, his sleeping, peaceful form, and walk out. I have to shake my head to clear my mind.
"Hey, mommy's here," I whisper, picking up Maria from her crib. "Don't cry," I hold her against my chest and bounce her slowly, patting her back. "You're just hungry."
After I feed and burp Maria, she falls right to sleep within minutes. I gently place her back into her crib, and back away, just watching her tiny chest rise and fall. It's all so new to me still, being a mother. It feels so strange, but it's filled with a sense of purpose, that I now have a reason to wake up everyday.
I take one last look at her before walking downstairs and into the kitchen. I'm not supposed to have much caffine, but I'm so exhausted, and one cup of coffee shouldn't be a problem.
I walk to the other side of the kitchen and begin pouring a cup, when I feel someone behind me wrap their arms around me. When I turn around, Gale's face is only inches from mine, and I back away quickly, hitting my back against the counter top.
"You scared me," I say, setting my cup down.
"Sorry, didn't mean to," he smiles and raises his arms above his head, yawning. "How long have you been awake?"
"About an hour."
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Because you were asleep. I figured you would want to sleep in, considered you stayed up late last night with Maria," I say, smoothing out my hair and tucking it behind my ears. He raises his eyebrows at me.
"How did you know I was up? I thought you were asleep?" He says, crossing his arms against his chest. "You wanted me to sleep in, even though you were awake the same amount of time as me?"
"I guess I didn't think about it that way," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "Why were you up so late anyways? She was asleep, you didn't have to be in there."
"Maybe I wanted to spend as much time with her as I can before I get kicked out of here," he's getting defensive now, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Do you think I'm kicking you out?"
"Well, I'm only allowed to stay here for a few more days before I have to leave again, so yeah."
"Gale, I'm not kicking you out," I sigh. "I don't even want you to leave-" I try to stop myself, I do. But he catches it, and I have to turn my head away.
"What did you just say?" He asks, stepping closer. He's right in front of me now, and I can practically feel the heat coming off of his body.
"I said I-"
"You don't want me to leave," he says, almost reading my mind. "That's why you won't tell me how you really feel." It's true, I don't want him to leave, but I know that he has to. He has a new life now.
"Katniss, you need to tell me how you feel," his voice is gentle, but stern. "This is important." I lower my head and stare at the ground. I don't want to tell him how I feel, because I don't want to admit it to myself that this is how I feel.
"I'm scared," I whisper, still keeping my eyes to the floor. "I don't want you to leave."
"I can stay," he says, lifting my chin. "I can stay, if that's what you want." My eyes begin to water, and I don't even try to stop the tears from falling. I let them fall, and pull my face out of his hands. "Really, I can stay."
"Y-you can't," I stutter, wriggling from his hold on me and moving to the other side of the kitchen. He reaches for me, but I pull away. He moves then, pulling me against him in a tight embrace. I bury my face in his shirt and begin to shake uncontrollable.
"I-I don't want you to leave," I manage to say in between sobs. "You can't leave me!" My voice comes out in screams, muffled against his t-shirt. He pulls me face back to look at him, holding my face in both his hands.
"Katniss I'm not leaving you," he says, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I would never do that."
"But you're going home, you're leaving me here," I say softly, gripping his shirt in my fists, as if he's just going to disappear from my grasp. "I can't do this by myself!"
"Katniss, you need to calm down. You need to breath, okay?" he says slowly, nodding his head with me. "Yeah? Good…" He walks us over to the table and sits me down beside him, pulling my chair as close as it can get to his. "Now, talk to me. Why are you suddenly wanting me to stay?"
"I just feel so alone, and empty. I need someone, Gale. I need you," I can't believe what I'm saying. Just before giving birth, I wanted almost nothing to do with him. And now I'm practically begging him to say. "I just feel so alone…"
"You're not alone, you know that. And I'm not leaving forever, Katniss, I'm going to come back," he reassures me, rubbing my back slowly. I try to focus on my breathing, to calm myself down. "I'm always going to come back. I don't think I could stay away from either you or Maria. You're both my life now." His words surprise me, and I look up at him.
"You promise that you'll come back? You won't just leave for three months again without telling me?" He clenches his jaw, and I can see that he's thinking.
"Katniss…"
"Just save it, nevermid," I say, gritting my teeth. I can't believe for one second that I thought he was going to be any different once he left.
"It's my job, Katniss, I have to go on those trips, you know that." I pull myself out of his grasp and stand from my chair, walking out of the room. But before I can make it to the stairs, his hand wraps around my arm, pulling me to a stop.
"Don't walk away from me, Katniss," he says, turning me around to face him. "Stop walking away from me."
"Walking away from you? I'm walking away from you? You're leaving again! I knew you were going to do that!" I'm screaming now, not even aware that raising my voice could wake up Maria.
"I'm not leaving, Katniss! I told you I'm not going anywhere, at least not for a long time," he says, pulling me to him. I wrap my arms around his back and hold him so tight that I think I may be hurting him. But he doesn't say anything about it.
"I just can't be alone again. You can't leave me, you can't!"
"Katniss, what has gotten into you? I'm not leaving you here alone?" He says it as a question, and pulls me away from him to look at me. "You really think I would just get up and leave you two after all of this?"
"Yes- I don't know? Maybe," I admit, resting my forehead against his chest.
"I'm not leaving for another month, Okay? And even then, I'm only going to be gone for three weeks. Okay?" I nod my head against him, closing my eyes. "I don't know why you're so upset."
"Maybe I just don't want my husband to leave right after the birth of his daughter," I say into his shirt. I feel him lightly laugh, and raise my head to look at him. "What?"
"You said husband." My eyes widen in mortification, realizing what I had just said.
"I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"It's okay, it doesn't matter," he says, letting go of me and backing away. "I'm gonna go shower, are you gonna be okay?" he asks, reaching out and pinching my cheek. I nod my head yes, and watch him walk away and up the stairs.
It's been three weeks. Three weeks since I've heard anything from Peeta. And I've felt reluctant to contact him at all, given the circumstances lately. But I feel so tired of having this anxious bubble in my stomach at the thought of not seeing him again, that I keep trying to call. But he never answers, until now.
"Hello?" A gruff voice answers.
"Peeta?"
"Katniss?"
"Yeah, it's me." I say, clutching the phone in my hands tightly. We haven't spoken since he left the hospital the day of Maria's birth.
"Oh, hey," he says, clearing his throat. "I was going to call you."
"Were you?" I ask a little too defensively. "Because it's been three weeks and I haven't heard a single word from you."
"I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about this over the phone. Can I just come over?" He asks, and I'm speechless. One second he hasn't said a word to me, and the next he's asking to come over?
"I-I guess, yeah. But not until after twelve."
"Okay." And he hangs up, conversation over.
I honestly don't even know how to feel at this point towards Peeta. He's been so hot and cold recently, that I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what he wants from me. I can't help that I have a baby with Gale. And quite frankly, it shouldn't matter. Because we met while I was pregnant, and he knew what he was getting himself into from that moment forward. And now, it just feels like he's running.
"Katniss?" I turn around and find Gale standing in the doorway. "I'm leaving, I just wanted to let you know." A sinking feeling forms in my stomach, and I have to keep myself from getting visibly upset.
"Don't be upset, I'll be back in two months." I run over to him and throw my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life.
"Come back here as soon as you get back, okay?" I say quietly, my voice muffled by his neck. "You have to come back here. Not your house, not anywhere else, but here." He squeezes me one last time before letting go of me. I take a few steps back and cross my arms over my chest.
"Maria will miss you." I'll miss you. Is what I want to say.
"She won't even know I'm gone." He says, smiling at me.
"She'll be three months old by the time you come back." I say with a sad smile. I inhale deeply, shifting on my feet, willing myself not to break down right here in front of him.
"Hey, it'll be okay, you'll be okay, I promise," he says. I inhale again, this time, choking on my own breath. "Hey, don't cry," he says, pulling me into a hug. "Don't cry." I hold onto him again, because deep down inside, I really don't want him to leave.
"I really have to go okay?" He pulls away and I follow him to the front door. He gives me one last hug before pushing through the door and climbing into his car. I watch him pull out of the driveway and drive away.
I must stand there staring out the door for minutes before I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. It's Peeta.
The text reads: I'm on my way. Be there in 20.
I decide that that's enough time to shower, so I do. And since Maria is asleep, I leave her in her crib.
I make the shower fast, leaving just enough time for me to comb out my hair before there's knocking at the door. I throw on a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt before walking into the nursery and picking up Maria's sleeping form. I hold her against me, her cheek pressed against my shoulder. I can feel her tiny huffs of breath as I walk down the stairs to open the door.
When I open it with one hand, Peeta is standing there, little to no expression on his face.
"Hey," he says, his eyes glancing down at Maria. "I think we need to talk."
The response to the last chapter was incredibly overwhelming. I didn't realize so many of you loved it so much. So thank you for your kind messages and reviews.
Okay, so, I hope you all don't hate me because of all of this Galeniss stuff. Just know that it's completely necessary to the central plot of this story. It's really important that you all don't get discouraged, because in a matter of no time, Everlark will be finning these chapters more and more and more.
The reason this chapter is a little shorter is because it's been uploaded the day after the last update, so I figured it would okay to cut it a little short.
Anyways, I hope you guys like it, and please leave reviews, they help me get ideas as to what to do next with this story.
Thanks!