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You're to Blame

You are to blame for anything that is good in my heart. You are to blame for this change that has taken me by storm. - Mercy Me

Chapter Ten – June 1989 – July 1989

Friday June 2, 1989

Kelly was finally free from kindergarten. That meant Tony was finally free from songs that made absolutely no sense to him. First grade would do the girl some good. She was actually chosen to give the class speech... much like a valedictorian. Shannon got the whole thing on tape. It was cute but Tony was glad he didn't have to live through that every year. Actually, Kelly was glad that she didn't have to do that every year. She still wasn't the best at reading so the speech had to be memorized. While she was at the podium she was afraid that she was going to forget what she had to say.

Now that both of them were out of school Shannon and Jethro were making more permanent vacation plans for Virginia Beach. Tony was excited that he was going to see the horses again but didn't like the fact that he was going have to leave Kathryn behind for a week. He couldn't even make a phone call to her. He tried to convince them to bring her with them but they said that the vacation was for only those that had the last name Gibbs. Tony tried to use that logic against them and said that they should invite Grandpa Jackson along. That only earned him a head slap. Jethro really wasn't amused by that comment.

This would be Tony's first real vacation since the 'Hawaii incident' back in December of 1981. He still hadn't forgiven his father for leaving him in that hotel. Tony never mentioned 'incident' to his parents but he couldn't imagine them leaving him... or Kelly... alone for three days. Though hotels did make him uncomfortable once in a while.

Kelly told him all about last years vacation. They took it about a week before they had all met that fateful afternoon. She told about how she won a race against Jethro along the beach. Tony thought that he most likely let her win but it sounded nice. She also mentioned swimming in the ocean. He couldn't remember the last time he went swimming just for fun.

But not once did Kelly mention being forgotten or left behind. Not once did it seem like she felt as though she were an inconvenience. In all likelihood, Kelly Gibbs would never feel that way. Tony Gibbs was determined to never feel like that again.

Monday June 5, 1989

The car was packed and nearly everyone was ready to go. Apparently Jethro's plan to leave after his and Tony's run backfired. Kathryn had showed up early to say goodbye to Tony. That was twenty minutes ago. They really had to get on the road if they were going to get to the hotel on time. By this time Tony was really testing Jethro's patience. He understood the boy liked her but now wasn't the time for long goodbyes. He jumped out of the car, pulled Tony away from Kathryn bye the cuff of his neck, and threw him into the backseat next to Kelly. When Jethro got back into the car only thirty seconds had passed.

"Was that necessary?" asked Tony.

"Yes!" rang out three voices. That caused Tony to pout.

"It's only cute when I do that," said Kelly innocently.

Instead of responding Tony took out a book.

Tony couldn't believe how many people were already on the beach. He knew that it would be busy but not like this. Shannon and Kelly were unfazed by the crowd and while Jethro looked a little uncomfortable he seemed to know that it was going to be there.

Shannon had taken them out for lunch before telling them the schedule for the day. It actually wasn't much of a schedule considering all she had planned for them to do is to play on the beach. Tony was OK with that. He felt like being lazy for once. He took out the book he had been reading in the car and sat down next to Kelly who was digging. Neither of them knew or wanted to know where Shannon and Jethro were.

Tony was nearly done with his book when he heard Kelly calling for him. At first she didn't see her and started to panic but then he found her in a giant hole that she had dug.

"What did you do?" asked Tony as he lifted her out of the hole.

"I dug a hole," she this in a 'isn't that obvious' kind of way.

"Yes, I can see that." He knew that he had to fill it before someone fell in and got hurt. Fortunately Jethro appeared carrying a couple of shovels. He gave one to Tony without giving Kelly a second glance. He knew that this was going to happen.

"Maddie told Kelly that if she dug a deep enough hole she would be able to reach China. That girl is a really bad influence."

Wednesday June 7, 1989

Jethro had rented a boat for the day. This was first time he did this since Kelly was born. The rental company had a policy about having children under a certain weight on their boats. Until recently Kelly was too small to be allowed on.

The whole family was excited to go out on the ocean. Tony was begging to be given the chance to drive. Jethro told him that the boat they rented was a lot more sensitive that any yacht. After an hour of Tony badgering him, Jethro handed over the helm. The kid handled the boat like a pro. Jethro should have known that would happen. He still hadn't found anything that Tony couldn't do well other than math and science. There was a look of pure joy on Tony's face. He controlled his speed enough that he could feel the rush of adrenaline but also he made sure he went slow enough that Kelly didn't fly over the edge.

Friday June 9, 1989

It was late afternoon when the horses were finally available. Shannon couldn't tell who was happier to be riding again, Kelly or Tony. They went to the same horses they had last time. Jethro did tell them that it was better to ride a horse that they were familiar with.

Tony patted his horse before clumsily climbing on. He tried to copy Jethro's movements but proved that it wasn't possible for him to be that graceful. He did take it as a good sign that he hadn't forgotten anything when he didn't fall off the other side.

He wasn't that surprised that Jethro was waiting for him. They had a lot to talk about and his dad wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"Are you sure that you want to join the Corps?" Blunt was a good thing. It was Jethro's way of showing that he actually cared.

"Yeah, I do. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I thought about going pro football but that isn't going to happen. The Criminology degree was just something to do so that I didn't get bored. I'm not even eighteen yet and I already have a degree and I can keep getting degrees until all of my money runs out. But I don't want to do that. Joining the Corps will give me a chance to think about what I want while still giving me the challenge that I need."

"It won't be easy. You'll be called away from your home, your family at a moments notice. You'll have to take orders and not question them."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this? Because it won't work. I'm told that I can be quite stubborn," joked Tony.

"You want this?"

"I need this," he answered in all seriousness.

"OK."

Monday June 12, 1989

It was hard to believe that a year had passed since Tony had moved in with the Gibbs. Shannon insisted that they went out for dinner to celebrate... until she saw that both Tony and Kelly were covered in red spots. They both had Chickenpox. Though Jethro couldn't understand why Tony didn't have chickenpox as a child.

Shannon had to tape oven mitts to Kelly's hands to stop her from scratching. The little girl hated that she was being spoon fed. The only time the mitts came off was when she was taking baths.

Tony was too tired to scratch. He refused to eat and all he wanted to do was sleep. That really worried Shannon.

Tuesday June 13, 1989

It was just pass one in the morning when Shannon and Jethro heard Tony thrashing around in his bed. He was having a nightmare. He calmed as soon as Jethro held him to his chest. Heat was radiating off from Tony. Shannon managed to get his temperature.

"He's burning up Jethro. You have to get him to the hospital." He gave her a look. "His temperature is at 103. He needs to be cooled down and we can't do that here."

Jethro bundled Tony up in the back of his car. He drove at a normal speed hoping to prevent any nightmares. But that made it seem like forever before they got to Bethesda. Fortunately the parking lot was nearly empty and Jethro was able to to get a spot close to the emergency entrance.

"C'mon son. I need you to walk for me. It's not far. On your feet. That's it."

"Where's Kelly?" he coughed out.

"She at home with your mom."

"My father doesn't have her?" Jethro figured out what the nightmare was about.

"She's safe at home," he reassured Tony.

"I'm tired." With that Tony collapsed in Jethro's arms. He had to drag Tony the rest of the way. He wasn't as light as he was a year ago.

The ER nurse called for a gurney as soon as she saw the state the two of them were in. When he was settled she began taking his vitals.

"Temps at 104.2! Get me a cooling blanket!" yelled the nurse.

Tony tried to push the blanket off the moment the nurse tried to lay it on him. No matter how many times it was placed on Tony, it was pushed off. When Jethro heard the doctor mention a tub he knew it was time for him to interfere. He knew how much Tony hated taking baths.

"Let me try to calm him down before you use the tub. I don't want to use that unless it's a last resort."

"Sir, if he keep rejecting the cooling blanket I won't have a choice."

"I understand that. Just let me try. He can't be put in a bath."

The doctor nodded to the nurse to give Jethro the blanket. He covered Tony again but caught him before he could remove it.

"Dad, it's too cold," Tony complained

"I know son but you have to keep it on if you want to feel better. You have to get better."

"OK, I'll keep it on." Shivering, he went back to sleep.

The doctor placed a saline drip mixed with an antiviral in Tony's left hand because Jethro was holding his right.

Shannon arrived hours later with a cup of coffee for Jethro. She had to see for herself that Tony was getting better. A phone call wasn't enough when you know she saw the poor condition Tony was in before he left the house.

Even in his sleep, Tony was coughing. The doctors were worried about pneumonia and gave him an oxygen mask to help him breathe. Shannon wasn't told about this and turned on her husband.

"It's a precaution. He's a little trouble breathing. I promise that he's fine."

"I just worry. He's never been sick like this before."

"I know. He just needs to rest and he'll be back to his normal self in no time." Tony called out Kelly's name. He's been doing that ever since they forced to cooling blanket on him. Jethro gripped Tony's hand tighter. "He's fine Shannon. Chickenpox is just not that common in people Tony's age. I won't say that it isn't dangerous but he's getting the best care Washington can provide."

They fell quiet. There wasn't any need to talk. Soon Shannon's soothing hand on Tony's forehead woke him.

"Mom?" He didn't have to open his eyes to know it was her.

"Yeah Sweetie, I'm here."

"Kelly..."

Jethro answered before Shannon could. "Kelly is fine. Your mom just wanted to see you."

"Kathryn is with her. Kelly wanted to come but she's still contagious."

"You can see her once you feel better, ok?"

"OK. My head hurts." It must have been bad because Tony never complained of being pain, not even when he broke his arm.

"I'll go find a doctor to see if they can give you anything. Just try to go back to sleep." She knew that it wasn't likely that they had anything for pain. It wasn't every day a Naval hospital gets someone with chickenpox as a patient. They couldn't just give him aspirin.

Shannon was just about to find someone when the doctor came in. He had to look at Tony's vitals again. His temperature was still a little high but it was no longer reaching critical. He was glad that both of Tony's parents were there.

"Your son had had mild case of viral pneumonia. Don't worry if he starts to cough up small amounts of blood. That is completely normal. It should clear within a day of two with proper medications. Now, how did he get chickenpox in the first place? It is highly unusual for someone his age to contract it."

"His little sister, our daughter, just finished kindergarten. She must have gotten it from someone in her class and passed onto Tony. Kelly is sick right now as well. But he will be fine, right?" asked Shannon.

"He will make a full recovery. Tony is very healthy... other than the chickenpox and pneumonia. You have no reason to worry."

They asked him about getting something for Tony's headache and after the doctor got him a pain reliever that wasn't dangerous Shannon had to leave. It wasn't fair on Kathryn to leave her with Kelly for too long when she's sick.

Friday June 16, 1989

It turned out that everyone in Kelly's kindergarten class had chickenpox at some point since the last week of school. Kelly most likely caught it from Maddie. Though Maddie's mother seemed to think it was the other way around. In the end it didn't matter because both kids were ill.

Kelly wasn't taking being isolated from the rest of the world that hard. Once in awhile she complained about not being allowed to see Kristina. She didn't understand that chickenpox could be fatal to someone that young.

Sunday June 18, 1989 (Father's Day)

Tony was finally allowed out of the hospital. The pneumonia was gone and his fever was at a manageable 99.1 degrees. He was still contagious but chickenpox was the least of the doctors worries. The antiviral did all that it could for Tony.

It always marveled Jethro how different Tony was a year ago. He changed from a shy boy seeking the approval of a man not willing to give to someone with an abundance of confidence in himself and a new faith that he can have parents that actually care about him. He helped do that. He helped someone find a family when that concept was completely foreign to him.

Kelly managed to convince Tony to make a card. He placed it in the same box that held all of the cards Kelly had made him.

Neither Tony nor Kelly were allowed to leave the house. Meaning that they couldn't celebrate Father's Day until they were cleared by Shannon.

Tuesday June 27, 1989

Freedom was something that Tony wasn't going to take advantage of again. Being stuck in bed of any length of time was a horror that he didn't want to experience again any time soon. Having a broken arm was bad but at least he was mobile.

Jethro took them back to the same batting cages he took them he year before for a late Father's Day. They got there early so that they could avoid most of the crowds... meaning high school baseball players.

Tony was excited that he could participate this year. He never felt so normal before. It didn't occur to him how much of an outsider he had felt. Now he couldn't deny that this was where he belonged.

Baseball wasn't his sport. It didn't have enough action for his tastes. However, he could hit a ball with a bat with no trouble. The same couldn't have been said about Kelly. Tony felt pity for his sister each time she swung her bat and missed the ball.

"I think we should just blame mom's lack of athletic ability for this and head for lunch," said Tony as the bat flew out of Kelly's hands. "Maybe next year, if were all together, we should do something less painful to watch."

Tuesday July 4, 1989

Jethro could only hope that this years celebration went better than last years fiasco. The day started out pretty much the same as the last Fourth of July. Though this year Shannon had invited Gwen, Kathryn, Jeremy, and baby Kristina. She didn't invite Jackson much to Tony and Jethro's relief. He was the reason last year was so horrible.

By the time they were done barbequing and were at the park, the Gibbs family were positive that Jackson wasn't coming. Shannon was glad her father-in-law wasn't coming, even though it was a mean to think like that. She did care for him, she just didn't like how he always intentionally made Jethro feel uncomfortable.

Tony, Jeremy, and Kathryn wanted to get away from the adults (and in Jeremy's case, Kristina) for a little while. Considering the trouble that Tony got himself into on a regular basis, Jethro was reluctant to let them go. Shannon, on the other hand, agreed that they should have fun. They wouldn't be far and throwing a Frisbee around wasn't going to attract attention to them from the police.

"And Tony..." started Jethro.

"I know, no GID's."

"What's a GID?" asked Jeremy.

"Geek in distress," answered Kelly before Tony had the chance. "It's kinda like a damsel in distress but with geeks." Jethro gave him a head slap for teaching her that.

Hours later Kathryn was curled up next to Tony, feeling safer than she had ever felt. She couldn't imagine her life being anymore perfect than it already was.

All of her life she had been pushed from family member to family. That was hard her. She had one desire and that was living in a stable environment. But she had six different homes since she was three-years-old. None of them lasted very long. The longest was when she lived with her grandparents from her mother's side. She probably would still be leaving with them if her grandmother hadn't been diagnosed with dementia. Now she had a place where she fit it, and she had Tony to thank for that.

She put all those thoughts to the side and watched the fireworks.

Saturday July 8, 1989

Tony had mixed feelings about turning eighteen. Before he was adopted it was a milestone toward a freedom that he wasn't that he was ready for. He knew that it would have been the day that he would have been cut off from his father's fortune, including the trust fund that his grandparents had set up for him when he was born. It would have been the day that he was stripped of his identity.

But now he was Tony Gibbs, loved by his family and not just about to be disowned. He didn't need to worry about losing everything.

That didn't stop him worrying. In his heart he knew that Jethro and Shannon were nothing like his father. There was still doubt that they wouldn't cut him off. He knew that they loved him but his father was supposed to love him and that didn't end well.

Shannon had him invite all of his friends. She got him a huge cake that was much larger than the on from the previous year. Jethro let her do it and made sure that she didn't go overboard with everything. These actions melted the last of the doubt that he had. They wouldn't do those things, the things that parents do, unless they wanted to.

"Present time!" yelled Samantha even though everyone was in the same room. It was funny that she was more excited than Tony was.

Shannon handed Tony Kathryn's gift. He stared at it in awe once he opened it. Jethro looked at the gift to Kathryn.

"Is that a Rolex?" he asked astounded.

All Tony could do was nod. His father had a Rolex. It was fancier, more ostentatious was a better word, that the one he currently held. That made the watch so much the better. He loved it.

The rest of of Tony's presents were much smaller, meaning movies and books. Though Jeremy thought that it was funny to get him Risk. A game about world domination was apparently something every Marine (or future Marine) needed.

Monday July 10, 1989

Even though he had been planning to do this for months, entering that recruiter's office with his dad by his side was the hardest thing Tony had ever done. It was what he wanted... what he needed.

He knew what he was losing. He saw it every time Jethro had to leave Shannon. Their relationship showed him how he and Kathryn could end up. They were happy for the most part, like all couples that were truly in love. He also knew he a lot to gain as well. Self worth was only one of those things.

Tony spared Jethro one look before turning back to the recruiter.

"Where do I sign."

They left the recruiter's office an hour later. Jethro's hand was firmly clasped to his son's shoulder. This was something he wished his own dad had done when he told him that he had joined the Marine Corps. Jackson never understood his decision to leave Stillwater. He thought that it was a mistake and made his opinion known very clearly.

He would never do that to Tony, to either of his of his children. They deserved the chance to make their own decisions. They deserved his support no matter what they choose to do with their lives as long as it didn't hurt them.

"You know you are lucky, right?"

"Yeah Dad, I know." He flashed him a smile showing Jethro that he was one of the reasons he was lucky.

Tony found Kathryn sing on her favorite swing at the park. He fingered to box in his pocket before he approached her. She must have noticed him because she began to slow down. Though the anger in her eyes was obvious.

"Shannon told me where you went today," she said evenly.

"Kitten, I―"

"No, you don't get to day anything. You didn't tell me that you were going to the Corps today!"

"I―"

"Two days ago. That was when you turned eighteen. You're supposed to talk to me about these things. I thought you loved me."

"I do love you!" shouted Tony. "I do love you," he repeated softly.

"Then prove it." The anger in her eyes turned into desperation.

He reached into his pocket and took out the small box. He sighed before he flipped it open. "I got you this."

"That's a...

"Promise ring."

Kathryn squealed when she heard those two words. When she calmed she looked into Tony's eyes. "What exactly are you promising?"

"Look at the inscription and you'll know."

On the inside of the ring were the words You'll always be my Kitten.

A/N The next chapter will be taking place in right before the Persian Gulf War. Nothing really happens until then.