Chapter 9-Mr Ambulance Driver
Bill scribbled furiously on the parchment that lay in front of him, his eyes never leaving the dusty, mouldy text in front of his nose. He had just stumbled upon several pages that made long and detailed mentions of a rarely mentioned sejungere curse that he was positive had been used on Sirius. It was something that a death eater wouldn't be able to resist despite the extremely complicated casting of it.
Muttering under his breath, he pushed that text away and reached out for another one that he was sure had mentioned another curse that could have been used in conjunction with the one he had just written notes about when his hand brushed against a warm and long fingered hand.
The subsequent yelp brought him out of his thoughts and nearly made him fall out of his chair. Looking up, he saw that Remus was staring at him, his face a stoic mask. Sirius too, was looking up from his work. His eyes though were mere grey slits in his face as he watched the scene in front of him.
"Shit! Sorry!" Bill apologized when he had calmed himself down from the shock of touching living flesh rather than the dry parchment of old books.
"It's fine. You simply startled me." Remus replied before returning back to his work, his face slightly flushed as he kept on reading and making notes.
Bill sighed and rubbed his face. Maybe he needed to take a break from the research. At least for a few minutes. Without a word to the other men, he got up from the table and went over to the fridge and took out a bottle of butterbeer. Uncapping it, he took a swig and walked out of the kitchen and into the backyard, where he sat down at his usual place on the porch.
He tried to watch the clouds floating by and the neighbours go about their business, but his mind simply wouldn't take to the distractions. Not when he still had the image of a flushed Remus making excuses to brush the incident out of sight and mind as quickly as possible.
A month or two ago, he wouldn't have even thought about the implications of his accidentally touching Remus. Or Sirius for that matter. They would have been left alone. Classified as accidents and barely even given a second thought.
But the more time that they spent at the table scouring ancient texts had started to subtly change how they all reacted toward each other. Bill had ignored it for as long as possible. That was the only way to react to the physical and psychological effect of being too close to someone for long periods of time. He had had it happen before, noticing how a colleague's hands looked as she touched a piece of parchment. Or the way that her hair caught the sun. Or how the fabric of a shirt stretched out tight over a male colleague's shoulders. How there would be a subtle and special glow in his eyes when he spent time with them. It would soon pass, Bill knew from experience. But often it wasn't fast enough.
"It will have to fade fast this time around though." he muttered to himself before he finally drained the last of the butterbeer and went back inside. There was still work to do.
Or at least that was what he told himself. He didn't want to think about his reactions to Remus and Sirius. He knew that he wouldn't like what he would find at that time.
OO
Bill yawned widely and rubbed at his reddened eyes roughly. He glanced up at the clock and was surprised to see that it was about two in the morning. Grinning slightly, he glanced at the pile of dusty books on the study table before getting up. Stretching, he cracked his vertebrae back into place before turning off the light and walking to his bed. Or more accurately, the bed he was sharing with Harry.
Since they had started researching Sirius's cure, Bill, Remus and Sirius had found close to forty different possibilities for a cure. The only work left at that stage was to figure out exactly in what ratios the curses had been mixed before they were cast and how to best create an anti-dote.
Although it seemed like it was a bleak start, Bill had to force himself to be positive on how far they had gone into their work of this particular case. The other curses, especially the one that had left Malfoy blind, had no possible root. Or cure. He had already, in the six months that he had been working on the cases, had regretfully handed back four of the files with the word "Irreversible" stamped across the cover page.
So the fact that he had made that much headway into this particular one that had been given up as a completely lost cause was a professional trump for him. Not only at St. Mungo's, but at the bank as well. Not that he cared about the accolades. He was doing what he was good at, not to mention that he was going to hopefully get Sirius his voice back.
That was what counted more for him than anything else. Bill knew that even though there were other ways around the silence, it didn't compare to the act of speaking. To have his own words rather than have a silent communication through either pen and ink or his hands.
There was also a small part of Bill that wanted for Remus to lose that sad look in his eyes whenever he and Sirius conversed in either sign language or by exchanging notes. Although he knew that Remus was more than pleased to have Sirius back with him, not hearing his lover's voice was taking its toll on him. He wanted for Remus to be as happy as he was with Harry and that was why the lack of sleep and the work, although taxing, was rewarding.
At least that was what he told himself.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts and stumbled to the bathroom, where he washed his face and brushed his teeth. Carelessly slapping the switch off, he moved to his room and stripped off his clothes.
Once that task was done, he crawled into bed and spooned against Harry, who sleepily moved against him. Bill grinned in the dark and wrapped his arm around Harry's waist before closing his eyes and drifting off into sleep, where he dreamt about sunshine, snow, woods and...fur.
He woke up with the memory all too vivid in his mind the next morning. For once he was glad that Harry was already gone. He didn't think he could face him. Not when his subconscious was giving him such broad hints.
Bill shook his head when he realized what he was thinking and got out of bed. He had the day off and even though he was grateful that he didn't have to come in to St. Mungo's, he was determined to not slack in his research. They were all too close to a goal for him to want to take a break at that moment. He looked out the window and looked outside, his mind still debating the possibility of a break. It was a waste of time to even think about going out, even though he was sure he hadn't had a leisure moment ever since he had taken on the assignments. Besides, they were complicated cases and there would be enough time for him to relax afterwards. But the fact that it was one of those cool and crisp and altogether perfect days was weakening his resolve to work.
He smiled wryly as he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and proceeded to brush the morning taste out of his mouth. Ginny used to like days like those, he mused to himself. He rinsed his mouth and put his toothbrush away, his mind already made up. Maybe a few hours in the park wouldn't hurt. Maybe Remus and Sirius would be up to it also. Lord knew how long it had been since those two had been out anywhere.
Nodding to himself and humming an old song tunelessly under his breath, Bill got dressed in an old penguin books t-shirt and worn dungarees. He pulled his brush through his hair a few times before being satisfied and made his way to the kitchen where he could smell fresh coffee brewing.
Just as he expected, Sirius was sitting at the table, his attention focused on the newspaper in front of him while Remus finished making the toast and eggs that was to be their breakfast along with the oatmeal that was keeping warm on the stove.
"Morning." He greeted the two older men as he went over to the cupboard and retrieved his favourite cup and filled it with coffee and milk.
"Morning, Bill." Remus greeted softly while Sirius nodded before going back to his paper.
He took a few sips of his coffee before turning to Remus, who placed the food on the already set table and sat down next to Sirius. A few softly spoken words had Sirius putting the paper away and looking up at Remus with an expression that made Bill look into the milk and coffee mixture in his cup. He remembered that look. He had received it from Fleur countless of times and could recognize the signs: the slight widening of the eyes, then the softening of the iris before it was nearly swallowed by the pupil. That was what it looked like physically, but emotionally it felt like an invitation to a private world made just for the both of them. It was a look that only two people deeply in love shared that intentionally or not, shut everyone else around them out as effectively as slamming a door in their faces.
Bill tried to shrug it off. After all, he was sure that he had given Harry that look in the presence of Sirius and Remus before. Not to mention that he had seen it pass between Remus and Harry when he had just come to live with them. He had no right to feel rejected by the exclusion. If anyone had that right, it would have been poor Tonks.
Even he had to wince when he recalled the following days after the battle. He had arrived at the end of the confrontation, but had heard the rest of the tale from Fred.
She hadn't been there when Harry had brought Sirius back. She had been on the western flank and had done her part to dispatch as many Death Eaters as she possibly could have. She had arrived late with that battalion and had immediately gone to search for Remus, who had been lying unconscious in a tent after they had healed his broken and shattered legs. She had stayed by him all that night, going with him to St. Mungo's. But she had left in the night to sleep.
He knew that between the time he had told Remus about Sirius and after Harry had left that Tonks had come by. Fred had been the hallway, waiting for Ron to visit with Harry when they heard the broken, intelligible shouts coming from Remus' room and Tonks leaving in a flurry of robes and long black hair. Remus had walked to the open door and had only watched as she had left. He had only looked at Fred and then at Harry's door pointedly before returning to his room and closing the door. That was how Fred knew, he later told his oldest brother, tactfully ignoring the small wince that had crossed his brother's face when he had received the news.
She hadn't to her credit gone mad or anything overly melodramatic as such. But she had hidden herself away for the longest time and had taken every assignment out of England that she possibly could. Now, nearly a year later did it seem that she had more or less come to terms with Remus stopping anything that they had between each other.
Or at least Bill hoped. Not just for her sake, but for his brother's sake as well. Fred had, sometime during the war, developed an infatuation with Tonks. It had surprised him when he had found that out, since he had always assumed that Fred would never let go of Angelina.
Well, he supposed there was a reason for him never to have taken Divination. Fred and Angelina had tried, but the war had put too much of a strain on them to continue. That had been evident when she had broken down at her mother's death. Fred had tried. He really had. But in the end, he wasn't what she needed.
He took another sip of coffee and made a mental note to visit his brother's shop sometime in the near future. Maybe then he would be able to get more information and perhaps an update on the situation. His mum hadn't mentioned anything the last time that they had talked, but that had been a few months back. Maybe things had changed enough for Fred to have made some kind of headway in pursuing a relationship with Tonks.
Bill hoped his brother was lucky in that endeavour. He also hoped that Tonks would be able to see past the façade of the fool that Fred and George worked hard to cultivate. Fred wasn't exactly drop-dead gorgeous, but he was a good guy. Good enough to make someone a great companion.
He shook himself from his musings and looked up at the clock, his mind busy making plans for the day. Although the desire to stay at home and research was great, the drifting of his mind to other completely unrelated areas had proved that there was no way he would be able to concentrate.
The park was probably the best place to go. At least it would help him clear his mind some.
Once he had decided on a course of action, he finished his coffee and breakfast and told Remus and Sirius about his plans. Both men nodded and wished for him to have a good day before he apparated away for the day.
OO
Harry sat at his desk at lunchtime, where a sandwich lay in front of him half eaten and ignored. It wasn't that it was a horrible sandwich. Or that his work was getting him down, but rather he was trying to figure out where his relationship or pseudo-relationship with Bill stood.
In three days, he hadn't really said much to his partner. Other than a few sentences exchanged here and there, they had barely spoken. And the last time he checked, that wasn't really what relationships were about. Or was he expecting a bit too much?
He tried to see it as a rational adult, but he hadn't come to a viable conclusion at all. Sure, they shared a bed and talked to each other as often as their schedules allowed. But...
Harry frowned as he looked down at the half-drunk can of pop in front of him. Something was lacking. And he wasn't sure whether it was from him or from Bill himself.
Maybe it always had been, but now that he's so immersed in work, it has become obvious. He tried to push the thought away where it had been mouldering in the recesses of his mind for some time, but it wouldn't obey him. Not this time.
"It's because he's still missing Fleur. No one gets over losing someone that they loved that deeply so easily. He still needs time." He told himself as he reached over and took a swig of the pop.
"I mean, Ginny was in that position for a brief time, but the pain of her loss was one of losing a sibling. I can't compare it. It's all relative to the person." he argued.
"True enough. But let's say that isn't it. Let's say that he's...perhaps developing feelings for someone else? Or maybe those feelings were already there and only now coming to the surface?"
Harry put the can down and stared at his hands. That had been one thing that hadn't occurred to him. Not that he was that involved in his own life to not notice, but because he had looked into Bill's laughing face that night they had gotten together and believed that this was the right thing to do. Despite him still occasionally reaching out in the night for a slender and more scarred body, or trying to not feel disappointment when his hand met corded muscle only marred by a few scars; he had thought that it was the right thing. That they would eventually build the foundation of some sort of happiness together.
But now, in the stark light of day, he really had to wonder if he had just been fooling himself. If Bill was also having those hidden second thoughts as well. He had felt something was different in the house when he was back from assignments. A circle that he was more or less excluded from; even though Bill and the others treated him exactly as before. The undercurrent was still there and it wasn't going away. In fact, the longer he was away, the more the feeling grew.
He clenched his hands and took a deep breath. He was probably just being paranoid. The case load was probably just got to him, being away from home so much. But once the case was solved, he was sure that things would smooth out. He would be home more often and things would go back to normal. And then he and Bill would laugh about what he thought about when he was in his office scrambling catch up on some paperwork and lunch.
"Never thought that you were still in the business of denial. Especially how well it went back in the first years of the war," he gritted his teeth at the voice and swore to ignore it.
"I was fifteen! No one was telling me anything! I was still reeling from Cedric's death! What the hell was I supposed to do?" Harry snarled at himself as he buried his head in his hands.
"Something else than what you did. Learn your lesson already!" he was trying to formulate a reply to the voice, but there was nothing he could really say. He was lying to himself. That was all too obvious now that he was away from the situation.
The life that they had in Godric's Hollow was like a house of cards. Flimsy and would more likely than not crash down around his ears if he didn't make an effort to fix things. Something he had to do fast.
OO
Harry sighed with relief when he got to the house. It had been a hell of a day. Not just with the ongoing case, but also because of the niggling doubts that had been plaguing him since his lunch-hour. Although he was going to have to do something that was probably going to be very unpleasant, he was glad to be home. At least things would be clear for once in his life. There was nothing that was going to be hidden. Nothing half-said.
As he walked up the stairs to the front porch, he had to admit that he had never realized how much of his life had been spent hiding or telling half-truths. Only Ron and Hermione had that privilege. And now, Hermione was gone and Ron was busy living his own life. There was no way that he was going to pull Ron into his life and tell him how to go about living. He was going to go into it himself.
Once he has gotten all of that squared away in his mind, he takes a deep breath and unlocks the front door.
And is immediately engulfed in a set of arms that he honestly never thought were ever going to be wrapped around him ever again. Shocked and confused, he nestles into the wiry warmth on instinct before it is quickly pulled away. Startled, he looked up only to be pulled into another hug and swirled around. This time his impression was of mint and red hair tangled into his glasses.
Once he is let go, he stumbles for a bit and he hears soft laughter that fades once he gets his bearings. When that is achieved, he found himself facing Remus, Sirius and Bill. All of them with ecstatic expressions on their faces over something. His eyes darted around the room and rested on a stack of parchment and books that he swore weren't there when he had left for work three days prior. The sight of those materials drive all of the resolutions he had made out of his mind.
"Uhm..not so sound ungrateful or bewildered, but what's with the rowdy homecoming? Have I really been that AWOL around the house or something?"
Bill laughed at Harry's question and wrapped his arm around his waist. "We did it Harry! It's all there in black and white! We have done it!"
Harry frowned a bit as he tried to recall what had been achieved. He knew that Bill and Remus and Sirius had been busy...his eyes widened as he looked up at Bill and then at Remus and Sirius, who were both smiling widely.
"The curses? You found the cures for the curses?" Harry asked, his voice loud with excitement by the time he had finished the question. Bill nodded as he pushed a hank of bright red hair behind his ear.
"Pretty sure we did. We just have to give the roots of them to St. Mungo's and they'll do the rest," he explained to Harry. Or mostly to him, Harry thought as he once saw Bill giving Remus a quick look that he tried to convince himself was only a glance of comradeship. Especially when he didn't see it again.
Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to nod in agreement. He really had wanted to hash things out before he lost his nerve, but that had been before he was greeted with the news of having Sirius back and whole again. There was no way that he was going to be an asshole and rain on everyone's parade.
It was going to have to wait. When Sirius got better, when things were okay again. Then maybe he was going to talk about it. And he hoped that it wasn't going to suck as much as he was afraid that it would.
Disclaimers- As always, JKR/Bloomsbury/WB et all own the characters. I just play with them. "Sejungere" is a latin word that means "To Sever" I may have gotten the tense wrong. I apologize. I went by my own knowledge of romance languages and a Latin dictionary. Anyways, I do apologize for the long delay and once again, hope you enjoy it. We're at the home-stretch now. Only two more chapters! Cheers and thanks!