The (Mis)Adventures of Doggycard

DianaPrince31

Ch. 10: The Squeaky Toy Perplexity

Disclaimer: I do not Hellsing

SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK.

"Alucard stop doing that!"

SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK.

"I said stop dong that!"

SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK.

"What did I just tell you!?"

SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK.

Walter grabbed the toy out Doggycard's mouth and threw it in the garbage disposal. The hound whimpered; "That wasn't nice."

"That's what you get for being an annoying bloody turd, now leave me alone I have things to do."

Doggycard couldn't understand why the butler didn't like squeaky toys, everyone loved squeaky toys. Later on that day, Doggycard couldn't find a single squeaky toy. No matter where he looked, there were none to be found. When he tried to ask Walter, the cranky old man threw toilet plunger at him, smacking in the nose. Doggycard slunk into Integra's office and plopped on the couch.

"What's the matter, Alucard?"

"I can't find any of my squeaky toys and Walter threw a plunger at me."

"WALTER!"

The butler walked into the office with a scowl on his face; "Yes Sir?"

"Well someone is on his period. Where are Alucard's toys?"

"He knows where they are."

"Ok, let me rephrase that, where are Alucard's squeaky toys?"

Walter looked really uncomfortable; "Well..ah…those were worn out, so I had to throw them away…"

"Get the car, Walter, we need to replace those 'worn out' toys." Walter stared at his boss as if she had grown an extra arm; "But he had enough toys, he doesn't need more."

"I don't want to have to repeat myself, Walter." The butler left grumbling something along the lines of Alucard being a spoiled mutt.

"Don't mutter Walter, it makes you look senile."

That night Alucard was surrounded by hundreds of new squeaky toys. He was practically in squeaky heaven as some squeaks were different from others. And Walter was in squeaky hell.

"How can you bear the sound of those infernal toys, Sir?"

Integra took out a pair of earplugs and smirked; "I have my ways."

SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK!