I climb in bed at nine at night, and I'm still awake after two in the morning.

That interview was definitely not one of my best moments. Will I have any sponsors?

I remember mama's words. "I love you. I'm there for you. I'll try to send you things to keep you alive. I love you very much."

And I feel tears come up in my eyes as I remember what else my poor family said, Hannah begging me not to die. Esther clinging to my leg. Papa looking sad, so sad, and so full of misery as his oldest girl was taken away.

And what of Hannah? What if something happens to her, too? Tomorrow is the games. I might have my throat slit in a second. But at this rate, mama and papa lost two of their children. Hannah is the third. It's her turn to be hurt. Hasn't she already, though? After losing me? But somehow this brings me peace. Maybe momma and papa will be more protective.

I get up and wrap a robe around me. I know exactly where I'm going for peace, even if Miranda was right last time and I'll catch a cold.

I'm almost to the door when I feel a hand on my arm.

I turn, expecting it is Miranda, but it's not. Kevana stands behind me, her lips in a straight line and her now yellow hair in pink plastic curlers.

"Miranda told me of the night where you went up there," she says quietly. Her usually bright, happy eyes now show nothing but concern. "But this time you need your sleep, Rue. I'm sorry."

"Please," I whisper urgently. "That rooftop is my only sense of peace."

She shakes her head. "You need to be used to discomfort before the arena."

She takes my hand and leads me back to my room.

Usually, on nights like this, when I know trouble will arise the next day, I try to remember things that keep me happy. But all of those things are back home.

So I try to remember songs I love. That's when it hits me.

"Kevana?" I ask. "Do you have anything that plays music?"

"I believe there are some music boxes in your closet," she tells me, getting ready to close my bedroom door behind me. "Don't stay up too late, Rue. You'll regret it."

The door closes and once I hear her footsteps padding away, I run to the closet and look around.

I never really opened it, and now I see that it it's enormous (well, what isn't in the Capitol?) and I'll probably get lost in it. The blue walls match my carpet, and they turn into hallways, the shelves containing anything you think about.

The first music box I come to is wooden with carved-in reliefs of ancient goddesses and gods. I turn the knob and listen. It's an eerie, two-note key that reminds me of danger coming, and I put it away.

The next box is plain. I turn the knob and the lid opens to reveal a ballerina that turns to an excerpt from Swan Lake.

I find one more, the one that's already opened. It's a Mocking jay in the middle, and its wings go up and down. It plays a pretty tune that reminds me of home. I carry it out of the closet and play it while I go to sleep.

Though the thought of the games scare me in my dreams, when I wake up, the little box still plays. And I know it's a greater comfort that I've ever had, even more than the roof.

I tiptoe out of my room, and find that everybody is still asleep. I know I probably should be, too, but instead I go up to the roof for a little while.

"Not scared, are you?"

I turn. I've been sitting on the couch for a little while; listening to the birds and watching the first Capitol residents go about their day. I didn't even hear him come up.

"Hi, Thresh," I say. "No, I'm not scared. Just…anxious."

"Meaning…?"

"Well, everybody dies, of course, except for one tribute. And that's probably not going to be me."

He sits down beside me.

"I guess what I'm anxious for," I say. "Is exactly how I'm gong to die. I guess I never expected it to be me."

He laughs. It sounds like bells. "Of course! Nobody does, do they? But you'll be fine."

"You can't promise that."

"No, I can't, your right. But…Rue…" he takes my small hands in his large ones. "I have a pretty good feeling."

We share a smile.

After breakfast, my prep team fits me into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, an extra jacket, and a matching windbreaker. They do my hair and make sure I'm ready. Of course, I'm not.

Frinda comes and puts her light blue arm around me. "My blessings, Rue." She sounds choked up, ready to cry. "These past few days of knowing you haven't been nearly enough."

I nod and pat her back. "I'll be fine. Really, I will."

She nods back. "You'll be fine."

Lies. Such empty, empty lies.

Xena pats my head and loses it completely. She grabs a tissue, presses it under her eyes and runs from the room.

Sarsen brushes my hair behind my ears. "Be brave, little one," he says. He is so noble. "Be brave, for me."

I hug him. He reminds me of my father.

A finger taps my shoulder after a moment, and I see Miranda, whom I love the most.

I run into her arms.

"Rue…" her lip trembles. "I have a gift for you, from all of us. It's something to t-take into the games." She pulls out a beautiful necklace with a cross in the middle of the gold chain. On the back of it in teeny writing it reads, "search for the person you wish to be, and you will always find yourself. –Mama."

I gasp. "My mother sent this?"

"Yes, Rue," Sarsen smiles.

As Miranda fastens it around my neck, I feel a lot braver.

I hug each one of them in turn, and even go find Xena.

Then with a final sad wave, they leave.

Vinci and Kevana and Thresh wait for me at the door.

"Listen, Kid. Just run when you get on the plates. After that, I'll do what I can."

"Thank you, Vinci." I smile at him, though he looks serious.

"Well, Kevana," I address her. And I feel her trembling as she hugs me. She even kisses my forehead.

"Goodbye." She finally says, before she too, losses it and runs off.

Thresh and I shake hands as we go to separate elevators.

"We may not be on the same team," I tell him.

"No," he agrees, before disappearing behind the sliding door.

Vinci and I travel down together.

"Anything else I should know?" I ask him.

"Just be careful." He says.

The door opens and I am escorted to a helicopter, which is ready to take me to the Games.

I wave at Vinci before the door closes.

I take a seat and see Katniss at the far end. She gives me a small smile, and turns away.

I don't look for Henry, and Thresh, who has been with me all this time, I can't bear to look at. I keep my gaze down even as a woman puts a sharp metallic thing into my arm. My tracker.

We get off and I'm into the building. Frinda is there.

"I forgot to tell you I'd be here." She smiles.

She kisses my forehead as I give her one last hug.

The last one. Probably the last one I get.

I climb into the circular elevator, thinking I've ridden too many, and my body trembles. She blows me a kiss, and I blow one back as my elevator rises.

It's time for the games.