Chapter Ten—Apologies

"You promise you'll answer next time?" Bella panted, collapsing onto the bed under my weight.

With a jolting thrust, I bucked my hips flush against hers, and then came with a cry of absolute pleasure. "Yes. Fuck, yes I will."

"Good boy," she giggled.

I hadn't been able to stop touching her since she'd answered her door wearing nothing but a skimpy negligee. My thoughts had been purely innocent up until that point. I'd intended to tell her the truth—that I was falling in love with another woman as well as her—but the minute she bared her irresistible breasts to me, I'd lost my concentration.

I didn't know what it was about Bella that had me chasing after her like a puppy dog. I felt pathetic, like some kind of subservient asshole that was unable to control his lust. Didn't I have morals anymore? Had I really become that dependent on Bella that I couldn't give her up for Esme? And more importantly, was Bella the one that I was meant to end up with?

"I missed you," she whispered in my ear as her hand reached down to cup my ass. "Don't leave me hanging again. I won't be as receptive to your charms next time."

I smoothed back her hair, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and gave her a quick nudge with my cock. She groaned, closing her eyes as she savored the feeling of my length inside of her. "It won't happen again."

"You've made me all sticky. Now I have to take a shower," she purred. "Care to take one with me? You're so good at getting me wet."

I wanted to say yes except the words just wouldn't leave my mouth. She was impossible to deny, but the nagging feeling that I was just making the situation worse was stronger than the desire to taste her again. Now that the joy of my orgasm had receded, I could think clearly again. I wasn't sure that I was ready to sever our contact, but I just had to know what she wanted out of our relationship in order to make a decision. What if she was going to dump Edward for me, and I just walked away without knowing? Things would be easier to break off with Esme if I knew for certain that Bella wanted to stay with me, though the thought of a life without Esme made my heart ache. However, if I went off with Bella, Esme would never have to see me around her house or at a family function. It wouldn't be as easy for Bella if I ended up with Esme. Then again, maybe they would both get rid of me after they learned the truth, and I would be the one left out in the cold.

Bella frowned. "I'm taking that as a no."

I smiled as best as I could, propping myself up on my elbow and pulling out of her. She moaned softly as my cock slid against her leg.

"It's not that I don't want to, but I was hoping we could talk."

"About?" She was surveying me with that same look she'd had when I'd asked her about Edward the second night I was here in her bedroom.

"Where is this going between us?"

"Carlisle," she sighed, getting out of bed. "I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to talk about it."

Bella wrapped a towel around her body, and turned to face me with an exasperated expression.

"You're getting married in six weeks. How am I supposed to feel about that? Don't my feelings matter to you?"

She sighed. "Can't we just keep on having fun?"

"And what about Edward?" I asked, sitting up. "How do you think he will feel if he finds out you've been cheating on him? I mean, what are your intentions here?"

Probing Bella for some kind of information seemed like the best thing to do. If I was going to make an educated decision between Esme and Bella, I needed to know the truth.

"Edward doesn't have to know. We can keep on doing this."

"What about when you're walking down the aisle? Do you really expect me to sit back and watch you marry another man?"

Her cheeks flushed bright scarlet. "I thought you understood. I love Edward, but he can't do the things that you do. I've never been with anyone so strong before. You make me feel like myself, and I don't want that to end."

"Well, you can't have both of us. You must realize that by now."

God, I felt so stupid saying that. I was guilty of exactly the same thing.

"Don't you want me?" She whimpered and averted her eyes. There it was again—that shy, intimidated Bella that I wasn't used to.

I immediately closed the distance between us, wrapping one arm around her while lifting her chin with the other. "I always want you. I just don't want to share you. Please, tell me what you want from me, Bella. I'm begging you."

"I—I can't."

She pulled away from me, and then slammed the bathroom door in my face.

"Bella," I urgently whispered against the door. "Please talk to me."

"Go away, Carlisle. Just go."

I could hear her sobs through the large, wooden door. My heart sank at the thought of her in tears. I'd done this; it was by my hand that Bella was now in the midst of despair when only moments before she'd been the happiest girl in the world.

"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I need to know what's going on."

"I can't do this anymore. Please, just leave me alone."

Was she breaking up with me? An uncomfortable feeling started to spread throughout my chest. The weight of the feeling caused me to take a step back, and I gripped the bed railing for support. There was no explanation for the immense pain coursing through me. I'd always known that Bella had no intentions of staying with me; I was just a toy in her eyes, wasn't I? Still, it hurt me to hear her say the words.

"If that's what you want," I mumbled. I didn't really want to go. There were still so many unanswered questions. "Call me if you change your mind."

How could everything have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?

"I won't."

Her words were final, and as I gathered my belongings and slipped out her front door, I couldn't help but think of whether or not my last memory of Bella would always be one of pain.

A/N: It's about time they had a decent discussion. Too bad for Carlisle that it didn't end well. However, you never know what might happen. Maybe...just maybe, Bella will change her mind. As always, thanks to hmmille for being an awesome beta! Next update will be Wednesday. Reviews are much appreciated, and I will be giving a spoiler on the Fictionators twitter on Monday, as well as one on Twinetwork on Tuesday!