Chapter Ten: Some Musings and a Conversation

Jill woke up early the next morning. She carefully got out of the bed, avoiding waking up Lily, who was still sleeping besides her. She looked at the clock that hung on the wall across from her bed. It was six thirty in the morning.

Tiredly she remembered the disaster of a dinner that had happened yesterday. She was still mad, and had the feeling that she had a right to be, her mother hadn't been exactly straightforward with her after all. Calling this Scott man a "friend" from work. Did her mother think she was Lily's age? She knew what was going on.

Her mother said that they would talk more about what had happened the night before. Jill knew what that meant as well. Mrs. Pole would talk and she would listen, and then she would get grounded or extra chores, or some other sort of punishment. Jill could handle the grounding and the chores, but what she couldn't handle her mother acting as it was all her fault. Sure she had not been exactly polite to Scott, but her mother had lied to her. She'd lied to her about some man.

When the divorce had happened Mrs. Pole had said it would be the three of them, her, Jill, and Lily against the world. What had happened to that? Now she was bring some man into it.

Deciding that she didn't feel like having a "talk" with her mother Jill quickly took a shower, got dressed, tiptoed downstairs, and headed out the front door. It was summer, so the sun was already up, it was a little chilly so Jill needed a sweater, but she was sure she would be able to take it off later in the day.

She walked down the street, not exactly sure where she was going to go.

Jill walked to the park and then walked around it aimlessly. It was mostly empty except for the occasional dog walker. It was going to be a long day, she could tell. It had been a long summer, in fact, and it was only the middle of June. She almost wished that the summer holidays would end so she could go to school and get out of the house.

After half an hour or so Jill realized that during her directionless walking she had some how ended up at the lake, the very same one she had been to with Eustace that time some weeks ago. It was peaceful there, she decided, so she sat down in the grass in front of the lake, leaning against a big oak tree that was behind her.

It hadn't always been like this. She decided after thinking for a while. Things hadn't always been so confusing. Her parent's used to be together and they'd been happy, at least it had seemed like it to her.

She supposed it had happened the year before when she was in the seventh grade. It was a bit after she'd gone to Narnia. No, they'd been arguing before that, maybe in sixth grade. Those few arguments had not really seemed like much back then.

They'd also started spending less time together, Jill realized, after some thinking. Sometimes her father would be late and completely miss dinner, or her mother would take Lily somewhere whiles her father would take her somewhere else or vice versa, they just seemed to never spend time together anymore. She hadn't noticed of course, she was only twelve, but…

Maybe if she hadn't been so clueless she could have done something. She didn't know exactly what, but, she could have come up with a plan or something to make them spend more time with each other, then they'd realize how much they really loved each other and they wouldn't have gotten divorced.

Now this man, Scott, was trying to come in and make everything worse.

'If I ever get married, I'm going to make sure that I'll never get divorced.' Jill decided. 'Divorce ruins everything'.

She drew her knees into her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and gazed out onto the lake. 'What am I going to do?' she asked herself miserably. She tried not to feel sorry for herself, but before she could stop them the tears began to roll out of her eyes and down her face.

She'd only been crying a minute when she heard footsteps behind her.

'Great.' She thought quickly brushing the tears out of her eyes. 'Who else would be here at this time?' she asked herself looking at a watch, but no, it was already eight o'clock, she had been sitting there longer than she thought.

"Well Jill, it looks like great minds think alike." Eustace said cheerily as he walked up to her. "I had no idea you'd be here to. That's…" he caught a glimpse of her face and his demeanor changed from happy, to worried in an instant. "…Are you alright Jill?" Eustace asked.

"Yes, Eustace, I'm fine." Jill said wiping her sleeve over her eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"You just…well…don't look to well I guess." Eustace said. He was going to say that she looked like she did that time when he found her behind the gym after she'd been crying, but decided against it. "I don't know, maybe it's just my imagination." He said instead.

"I'm fine." Jill said wiping her eyes again. "It's just the pollen affecting my allergies." She said knowing, it was the most unbelievable excuse that she could come up with.

Eustace continued to stand there for a few minutes, and for the first time Jill wished he would leave.

"Jill," Eustace started. "You're the best friend that I have." Eustace said, he shuffled from one foot to another nervously. "…if you ever need to talk or anything…you can talk to me."

Jill nodded.

"I guess I'll be going now." Eustace said, and started to walk away.

"She doesn't care about me." Jill said.

Eustace stopped and turned around.

"Who doesn't care about you?" he asked gently.

"My mother." Jill told him.

Eustace walked back and sat down next to her.

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

"She invited some man over for dinner." She began. "She said he was a "friend" from work, but I could tell it wasn't like that. She lied. I guess…I wasn't as polite to him as I should have been, but…it hasn't even been six whole months yet."

Eustace nodded. Jill's parents had gotten divorced January, he knew. Everyone knew, no one else's parents had ever been divorced, so it had been big news at school.

"Now she's mad at me, but how can she be mad at me when she's the one who broke all of her promises?"

"Jill, parents are odd." Eustace said.

Jill looked at him, obviously waiting for him to explain his statement.

"Sometimes…they think they're only doing what's best for you, when they really…aren't. They're doing the exact opposite is what they're doing" he said. Jill could tell he was not only thinking of her situation when he said this.

"Jill, your mum cares about you, I know she does." Eustace said. "I mean…well…sometimes I feel as if Alberta doesn't care about me, but I know she does, she just doesn't understand what's best for me is all…my parents are stubborn, I've met your mother Jill, and I think that she could understand you, if your tried to explain yourself to her."

Jill looked at Eustace, and for some reason she remembered that time she had run into him when she was taking Lily to the dentist. He was being kind again, cheering her up as he had cheered Lily up. "I guess you may be right." Jill said.

Eustace shrugged. "I didn't mean to get all philosophical on you, it's just what I think." He said.

Jill sighed. "It just seems as if all I do is give." she said. "When my mum and dad divorced she asked me to be strong for Lily." Jill said. "So I was strong, for Lily and for her. And now she's asking me to let this man that I don't even know just come into our lives and take my father's place. I can't do it, Eustace, I just can't."

"Then tell her that." Eustace said.

Jill nodded. "I will." she said. "Eustace?"

"Yes?" Eustace asked.

"Thanks." Jill said.

"For what?' Eustace asked.

"I don't know." Jill said. "For talking to me, I guess. I got up from bed this morning and I was angry and sad and confused, and...you made me feel a lot better. You can actually be a very nice boy sometimes."

"A very nice boy." Eustace asked making a face, as if it were more of an insult than a compliment.

Jill laughed at his expression. "Yes, a very nice boy." she repeated. "I have to get home now." She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek before standing up. "Bye Eustace." she said, before taking off.

Eustace didn't answer but continued to sit there with his hand on the spot where she had kissed his cheek.

And that was Chapter Ten: Musings and a Conversation, I know, kind of angst filled, but, I don't know, I thought it sort of worked. Chapter Eleven will be as soon as possible.

Riley 35