American Horror Story: Second Chance

Chapter 10

Ange couldn't stop tossing in her bed. A sound, peaceful sleep was obviously out of the question for tonight. Not that this surprised her in any way. The four days that followed after the basement events, Ange had spent them mostly asleep. She had tried to fight it, to stay awake, to let Tate know that he wasn't alone, but at some point exhaustion kicked in. Exhaustion and the tranquilizers Dr. Anderson insisted she had to take. Both her mother and the doctor seemed to believe that she was heading for an emotional breakdown. Now that she was thinking it over, she couldn't really blame them. After her initial shock faded away, Ange had spent hours crying and screaming and trying to leave her bed. For some reason her mother insisted that Tate shouldn't be in her room, but Ange felt… knew… that this was not a good time for him to be by himself. The House was always waiting for chances like this; for a soul to start drowning in sorrow or anger or confusion so that it could get stronger hold of it.

''No… Not this time. He is stronger now. The House has no longer that kind of power over him…'' Ange told herself, trying to shake the bad hunch that was making her chest feel heavy and her limbs go cold. She looked at the electronic watch standing on her desk. It was 3:15 in the morning. At 3:16 she had already decided that lying on the bed, quiescent, was pointless. She had to find Tate. She had to make sure that he was at least trying to cope with Violet's loss.

She stood for a second in the dark hallway and tried to reach Tate's conscience. To her surprise all she managed was to fall on a mental wall. Tate was shutting her out? Why on earth would he do that? ''Oh, this can't be good.'' She thought. ''Ok. Let's do this the traditional way. Come out, come out, wherever you are.''

Ange had just begun her one-sided hide and seek when she noticed the bathroom door wasn't completely closed and there was light coming out of it. She walked till there on her toes to make sure she wouldn't wake up her mother. For a moment she stood right outside the bathroom. She just stood there with her hand on the door. She was too afraid to push it open. She could sense Tate was in there. But which Tate? Not the one she knew. Not Violet's Tate.

She gathered all her courage and gave a light push on the door. She barely managed not to gasp by putting her hands on her mouth. In her short life Ange had experienced things horrible enough to match someone's most terrifying nightmares. She had made it through though… Not totally unscarred, but still... But now she was looking at something that she would carry for the rest of her life. You can't hide a friend's most agonizing moments in a secret corner of your mind and then pretend they never really happened. There was no defense mechanism Ange could use to erase what she had just witnessed. And maybe she didn't want to. Because of her gift she had unwillingly shared the pain of hundreds of people, but Tate's pain was one she didn't mind sharing.

She closed the door behind her. Tate was sitting on the bathroom floor, right beside the sink. He didn't look up to face her. He kept looking down at his hands. He was covered with gruesome, bleeding scars from his wrists, all the way up to his elbows. His right hand's fingers were closed in a tight fist. He slowly opened them and a rusty razor fell down on the tiles. It didn't make a single sound. It just got sank in the pool of blood that surrounded him.

-''Leave.'' Tate told Ange in a monotonous voice.

-''Eeehm… What about…no.''

-''I don't want you to see this…Please, go.'' Tate hid his hands between his legs.

-'' You don't need to protect me from all these, Tate. I'm the one who is supposed to do that and I … I failed you. I'm sorry.'' Ange said, fighting to choke back her tears.

Her voice was calm and steady but what was going on in her head was a completely different story. She was trying so hard to keep herself from panicking. All she really wanted to do was run to Tate, shake him by the shoulders and yell at him to stop, to tell her what the fuck he was thinking, to not ever do this to himself again.

-'' Well…at least you tried. And thank you for that… Thank you for believing I could make it.'' He finally looked up at her and tried to form a smile. That was the saddest smile Ange had ever seen.

-''I still do. We can do this Tate. So please…Please, don't give up.'' Ange went to kneel by his side. She didn't seem to care that her white nightdress got soaked in his blood.

-'' Why? There is no reason not to. She… she is not here anymore. Everything I did, it was for her…''

-''I know… And you have to keep trying for her. You have to go find her. You won't just leave her waiting, will you?''

-''You don't understand… She is waiting for me. Wherever she is… She is scared and alone and she is waiting for me to go save her. But I can't go there. She must think… that I have abandoned her. But I haven't… I'd do anything to go to her. But I can't…I can't…''

-'' And how is this going to help? Huh?'' Ange said angrily, holding up the razor and then throwing it away.

-'' It takes the pain away… For a moment…just for a moment…something hurts more than her not being here. But unfortunately, that doesn't last…'' He revealed his hands once again. The scars had started to disappear.

-'' Tate, listen to me. She won't be there forever. At some point she will move on to the other side and you have to be there. Don't you want that? To be with her…for eternity?''

-'' Your mother said that she might not make it out of there…''

-'' Look, Tate… I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know much about the Intermediate Levels, but I know it is hard for some souls to complete their pass from there with success. But don't you trust Violet to make it? Breaking your bonds with the House wasn't exactly easy, right? But you did it... For her, you did it. Now it is time for her to do the same.''

-'' Do you think she may have done it already?'' Tate asked her. The expectant look in his eyes broke her heart.

-'' No…I would be able to reach her if she had. But… I get nothing. Sorry.''

Ange watched all hope disappear from Tate's eyes. ''Damn… Why couldn't I go with a probably…or at least a maybe?''

-''I…I don't think I can do it, Ange. Without her…there's nothing…no one… to help me resist the House's influence.''

-'' And what the fuck am I doing here, huh? Haven't I always been there when you needed me? Do you think there is even a single chance that I'm letting this house get its claws around you ever again?''

-'' I don't… I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry. I'm too confused…too tired… to think straight. Please…can you go? Just for now…I need to be alone.''

-'' Just…for now?'' Ange asked. When Tate nodded positively, she kissed him lightly on his forehead and then stood up to leave. But before she opened the door she looked back to find Tate curled up on the floor. And then she understood… Tate didn't need to be alone in order to think straight. He needed to rest. After more than eighteen years of non-stop pain, anger and manipulation, maybe rest was the key for Tate to start thinking a bit more clearly.

Ange went to lay by Tate's side. He opened his eyes but before he could protest, she told him to close them again and then grasped his hand. He did what she asked him to… He trusted her. Very much to his surprise Ange started singing. In a low, soothing voice… She had a beautiful voice.

''Is she trying to lull me?'' Tate wondered. ''But…I can't sleep. Not for real. Can I?''

Gradually, Ange's voice flooded in his head. It felt strangely…relieving.

''You're my brightest star.

You're my crystal sea.

You're my loudest rhythm…beats inside my heart.

I will make you laugh.

I will make you fly.

To the shiny skies where you'll live in happiness.''

Even before she had stopped singing, Tate was well asleep. For the first time since the day he died, he was able to shut this noisy, confusing and cruel word out.

Ange looked at him smiling. And then she stood up. She had to clean all that blood before her mother woke up.

Though Violet was no longer fully aware of her identity, she was aware of what her quest was. She knew she had to leave the park, but she couldn't… Not yet. She couldn't help but feel that right now that park was the safest place to be and that the moment she would step out of it she would be… vulnerable. She wished Feidippedes was still here. Well, maybe he was. He said he would be around. But she needed to see him, to hear his voice. There was something about his voice… If he told her that everything was going to be alright, then it probably would.

Violet went to lie on a bench nearby. She looked at the clear sky above. She took in the scent of the lemon flowers. She felt a light breeze stroke her face. Why on earth would she ever give up such beauty? What was so great about the Other Side for her to give up the comfort and the peacefulness of this place?

A few minutes later the first sign of life made its appearance. A butterfly landed on Violet's hand. It fluttered its red black wings as if it was trying to communicate. Violet chuckled and brought the little creature close to her face.

-'' Hello to you too.'' Violet said. And then she raised her hand to the sky. In a matter of seconds the butterfly had disappeared. But Violet wouldn't stay alone for too long. Soon dozens of kids came running through the lemon trees and flooded the park with their laughs. They were running and playing and climbing on the trees. And though Violet couldn't remember much of her past she swore she had seen nothing more beautiful in her whole life.

A company of little girls started to play jump rope right in front of where Violet was lying. A very short blonde girl was the jumper and two redhead twins were holding the ends of the rope, calling out the jumps. Violet felt the profound urge to join them.

-'' Can I jump?'' She asked. The girls kindly agreed. Violet took off her shoes and rushed to join the game. It was an amazing sentiment. Playing without worries, jumping, feeling the cool grass beneath her feet. She never wanted it to stop. Until she heard something… Something like bird calling? She looked up to see a flock of swallows flying above the park. That single image of birds flying away awoke inside her an unsettling feeling. She felt as if there was somewhere she needed to be. She couldn't remember where, but she was pretty sure this was not the place she was supposed to be. She had to go. Right now.

-'' I'm sorry. I think…I should be going now.'' Violet told the girls.

-'' Yes. You probably should.'' One of the redheads said, smiling.

Violet picked up her shoes and ran towards the path.

The Grey city was no longer so grey, Violet noticed. It was full of colors, light and life. It was certainly not like any city Violet had lived in; the world she was coming from wasn't half as beautiful.

''But I don't belong here.'' Violet thought once again. ''I have to be…Eeehm….somewhere else. I have to remember where.''

She looked around desperately. ''There has to be something. Some clue as to who I really am… What do I like? What do I want? Ugh… Something. Anything!''

All she had gotten in the last few hours was that she preferred dogs to cats (maybe she even had one?) and that she enjoyed reading. She had passed earlier in front of a public library and she just couldn't resist getting in. Automatically she chose to go to the poetry department. She went through three or four collections, but the one she loved the most was ''Paradise Lost''. The oddest thing was that when she looked at the last few, almost blank pages she saw written about a dozen times ,in small, calligraphic letters, the phrase ''Violet loves John Milton. '' There were little flowers drawn all around.

''Is that…my copy?'' She thought. ''Holy shit… I think it is. This cover…And the heart stickers at my favorite parts… This is my freaking copy!''

Now that she was thinking it over, it was no surprise she hadn't made such a great progress. She had spent too much time in the library. But now she had to focus on her quest and nothing but her quest.

-''Oops! Sorry…I'm so sorry.'' Lost in her river of thoughts Violet had accidentally bumped into a woman who was holding a little girl in her arms.

-'' It's fine.'' The woman said smiling kindly. She seemed very sweet…very motherly…'' I wasn't paying attention to where I was going either. Rose here is making it as difficult as possible.'' The girl made a slight grimace. It seemed that she had been crying.

Violet noticed that the woman was not dressed in white. Most people in the Grey City wore white, but there were a few that didn't. Violet thought that these people could be the key to figure out the mystery of who she really was. Maybe if she kept the discussion going…

-'' Let me guess… First day at school?'' Violet asked, seeing that the woman was carrying a red backpack with her free hand.

-'' Yes. And she is not taking it very well… We've…never been apart.'' The girl wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck. The woman let out a sigh of desperation.

-'' Don't worry… Give her a few days and soon you will be the one begging for her attention. Independence is scary…at the beginning. But at some point it becomes addicting.''

-'' Well…that sounds logical. Thank you, V…Eeehm…Thank you. We have to go now.''

-'' Oh… Right. Goodbye…And good luck!'' Violet called disappointed as she watched them go away. But at that moment, Violet had her very first flashback.

She seemed to be about five or six years old. She was in a school class, sitting at the last desk right by a window. She was writing in her notebook. She was copying the alphabet from the big green board. The letters from k to q were almost unreadable. Violet had stained them with her tears. She wanted to leave, to go home. Her classmates were stupid and her teacher was mean. She had forced Violet to take off her hat and sunglasses. She said she had to act properly while in class. So Violet wanted to go home where she could dress and act however she liked. She didn't want to cry though. She just couldn't help it.

Violet turned to look outside the window. A wide grin lighted up her face. At the far end of the school yard, right behind the gate was her mother. She was just standing there chatting with the security guard. She seemed to be showing him some photos. He took out his wallet and reached for a couple of photos too. They seemed to be having fun.

Her mother had promised her that she would be around every day until Violet told her that she didn't need her anymore. Violet thought it was just a trick to make her go to class, but her mother had kept her promise.

''Take that dimwits!'' Violet thought, looking at her classmates. ''I have the best mum e-ver.'' She wiped her tears and got back to work.

Present Violet wiped her tears too. But they were tears of happiness for she had just remembered her mother. Her beautiful, caring and absolutely messed up mother.

To be continued

-Yeah…It seems that chapter turned out a little short too. Well, I'll make it up with the next chapter…probably.

-You know…I guess it happens to a lot of …''fanfictioners'', but I always imagine the scenes I write about with a song or a melody in the back. After all, this is a series I'm writing about. So I really enjoy finding ways to insert the song in the scene. That is about what happened with Tate and Ange's scene. I thought this song fitted so well. At first I picked it for its melody because it has this haunting feel in it, but then I noticed that with a minor change in the lyrics it could also bring out Ange's feelings for Tate. In case you haven't noticed she has a little crash on him. Ofc this is not some weird triangle. Ange loves Violet and she will do anything for her and Tate to be together. But hey Tate is a very cute guy and they are pretty close so…she can't help but feel her heart race a little faster when he is around.

-I know…I overanalyzed this. Sorry…Can't help it. Anyway… The song is ''Yes I do'' by Monika. You've probably never heard of it. She is a Greek singer so it is kind of unlikely.

-Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so, so much for reading S.C.

Disclaimer: I do not own American Horror Story, just Ange, Kat, Rey and Pheidippides. And I also don't own ''Yes, I do'' or any of Monika's songs.