chapter ten:i thought that love was a kind of emptiness

Quinn loved it when girls cried during elimination, the messier the better. Waterproof mascara had been permanently banned from set, so every black streaked tear that ran down Maggie's face showed up on camera as Vanessa cut her, Tanner, and Joseph.

But Quinn didn't like tears that were her own, leaving wet tracks across her face as she tried to angrily swipe away any evidence. Unfortunately that didn't change the fact that crying left her nose and eyes rimmed red.

Rachel had produced the group date and the elimination ceremony beautifully. She'd channeled her anger into pushing the contestants to their limits and now they had two cat fights, one breakdown, and so many perfect shots to edit though. Then, as soon as they'd cut for the evening, Rachel left, without even a backward glance as she stormed off set. She hadn't even looked at Quinn for the rest of the day and then she had taken her Jeep and driven off into the night.

Quinn finished her four glass of whiskey. She was torn on whether or not to head home for the night. On one hand, her bed would still smell like Rachel, but on the other, she knew that for the first time in a long time the large expanse of down and warmth would feel far too empty.

She turned on the security camera feed, scrolling through each one. Chet was walking alone near the crew trucks. Quinn considered this. It would be easy to find him, to casually run into him. Then one thing would lead to another, as it usually did. She knew that if she went to find Chet she wouldn't be spending the night alone.

But that wasn't what she wanted, not really. Going back to Chet, again, would just complicate things. Quinn closed her eyes. Her feelings for Rachel left her heart pounding, and fear raced through her bloodstream whenever she thought about what she'd almost said last night in the heat of the moment. And then she'd fucked it up.

She had to fix it. For all the times they'd fallen apart, they'd always had time to fix things again. But now it felt like the walls were closing in, like their stalker circled as a wolf would before striking, like time was running out. Quinn was not going to lose Rachel to this monster making their lives miserable.

Opening her eyes, Quinn clicked through a couple more feeds when something caught her eyes. The footage was dark and grainy, but, yes that was definitely Leo knocking on the door to the Suitress suite. She switched the view to inside the suite, and was surprised to find the camera uncovered.

Quinn watched as Vanessa let Leo in, her body language seductive and flirty the entire time.

"It looks like an old dog can learn new tricks," Quinn murmured to herself as she watched Leo kiss Vanessa, and Vanessa begin to inviting his shirt.

It was voyeuristic, but Quinn couldn't look away and instead poured herself another whiskey. It was information gathering to better produce both Leo and Vanessa, or so she told herself.

As Vanessa leaned back on the bed, and Leo crawled on top of

…

As she started on the long drive back up to her cabin, Rachel fumbled one-handedly with her phone, searching for a number she should have deleted a year ago.

Setting it to speaker, she listened to it ring as she drove through the darkness.

"Rachel?" The familiar voice made her skin crawl, "I didn't expect to ever hear from you again. Is something wrong?"

"Where are you?" She asked, trying to keep everything but cold questioning out of her voice.

"I'm really glad you called," he said, "Are you still working at Everlasting?"

After a pause, Rachel said "Yeah, yeah I am."

"It's going to kill you Rachel,"

That's exactly what she was worried about. She left that ominous statement hang in the air as she turned a corner, driving farther and farther away from the city lights.

"Where are you?" She asked again.

"I'm in Oregon, I got a place up here, a nice job. I think you'd like it."

"How long have you been there?"

"About six months."

"And you haven't come to California at all? Can you prove it?" Rachel pressed.

"No I really can't, Why are you really calling? What's this about?"

"I-" I think you're planning on killing me and Quinn, "I thought I saw you. I wanted to make sure it wasn't you."

"Did you want it to be me?" Her phone was so clear that for a moment it sounded like she wasn't alone in her car.

"No. I don't want to ever see you again,"

"How's Quinn?"

Rachel's heart leapt to her throat. It was him. It had to be him. She could feel all her fear and anxiety bundled in her chest, it was like an enormous weight was holding her down.

"She's fine."

"From you're tone of voice it doesn't sound like it. I know you don't want to hear this-"

"Then don't say it."

"- but she really doesn't care about you. I know she probably makes you think she does, but you're just a tool to her, Rachel."

She thought about the night before, in Quinn's office when she began to cry. She thought about Quinn holding her so tight, the feeling of Quinn's lips moving against her temple, Tell me what's wrong, tell me how I can fix it, Rachel, you're scaring me sweetheart.

"You're wrong, Quinn cares about me a lot!" Her words came out sharp, but raw, with a edge of emotion. She hadn't realized she was crying until her tears hit the tops of legs and blurred her vision. Rachel gripped the steering wheel.

"Maybe, in her own twisted way, she does think she cares about you, but it's not real Rachel," the connection was beginning to cut in and out.

"Just leave us alone!" Rachel cried, "Stop sending the letters and photos and just leave us alone!"

There was silence, then her phone makes a fast beeping sound. When Rachel reached to check her phone, she realized she'd driven so far out that she'd lost the signal.

The call was over.

…

Vanessa sighed with pleasure, and Quinn knew a real orgasm when she heard one. She knew she shouldn't be watching, not real time at least, but Vanessa's fucked up life was an easy distraction from her own.

Leo rolled over, pulling the blankets up around them. Vanessa smiled, kissing him softly, before getting up and slipping on a robe. Leo, much like most men Quinn had known, fell asleep almost immediately.

She disappeared off camera for a moment, and Quinn was going to turn off the feed, but then Vanessa reappeared, throwing a towel over the camera.

Quinn sat back, surprised. Vanessa wasn't the idiot she'd assumed. She knew exactly what she was doing.

…

She lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. It had been hours since the phone call, and hours since she'd showered and gotten into bed, but sleep still eluded her. Every time she closed her eyes it was just Quinn, Quinn, Quinn behind her eyelids.

Last night had been grief sex, or something akin to it. Grief sex's cousin, the thing that happened when you were terrified for your life and needed to feel something, even if it was just for a little while.

But of course it was Rachel, and it was Quinn, and they couldn't just be okay. It was as if the universe wouldn't allow it. Instead Quinn had hidden the danger they were in from her, she decided not to tell her that a crazy stalker was taking photos of them, and now her mother knew.

Rachel groaned. Olive Goldberg knew. Someone had sent her photos of Rachel on top of Quinn, Quinn with her shirt off, Rachel kissing the soft skin between Quinn's breasts. It was modifying.

Pushing all thoughts of her mother from her mind, Rachel let her hand slip beneath the waistband of her underwear. She thought about how Quinn had asked, voice gentler than normal, permission to touch her. Rachel pretended her hand was Quinn's, that Quinn was lying beside her again, getting her off. She was still angry at being kept in the dark, but she ached, oh how she ached, for Quinn's touch again.

With the thought of Quinn, she got herself off, but it wasn't as satisfying as she wanted it to be. But it did tire her enough that soon Rachel's eyes were fluttering shut of their own accord, and she was slipping into a sleep where her dreams would only be of Quinn, and whatever horrors awaited them.

…

"Camera C pushing in on Leo," Quinn said into her walkie as Leo approached the breakfast table.

"Good morning gentlemen," Leo said on screen with a smile, "How did everyone sleep?"

Rachel slipped in the back, Quinn didn't need to turn to see and simply snapped, "Over here Goldberg."

She also didn't need to look to know that Rachel rolled her eyes as she dropped down into the chair beside where Quinn stood. Nevertheless, Quinn pushed a coffee towards her. It was a peace offering that was met with suspicious eyes.

"Don't think you can gift your way out of this-" Rachel whispered as Quinn turned her laptop to face her and hit play.

"What you missed last night," she said, cutting Rachel off.

Rachel leaned forward to watch, taking a sip of the coffee. It was muted but the screen was replayed the feed from Vanessa's room.

"She had this covered…" Rachel murmured in confusion. Quinn waited a few moments for Rachel to see what they were doing, then reached over and fast forwarded to the part where Vanessa recovered the camera.

"She knew exactly what she was doing," Quinn said, hand resting on the back of Rachel's chair, "I want you to talk to her today, figure out what she's planning because there is a plan there. Okay?"

Rachel nodded, then seemed to remember she was mad at Quinn and glanced up at her, tight lipped and through narrowed eyes, "Whatever you say boss."

Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes back to the monitors where Mike had turned beat red. Leo was leaning back in his chair, arms behind his head.

"Take that back," Mike all but snarled.

Leo continued to grin, "Just because you're too much of a little boy to make a move doesn't mean we all can't. Vee was screaming my name all night, on her back, just how I like 'em."

"Don't talk about her like that," Mike said.

"Camera A, zoom in on Mike. Camera B, Leo," Quinn said.

"Cmon Mikey, it's all just fun, I'm sure you've said your share about Vee after a day of feeling her up on the ice," Leo jeered and that's when Mike's fist connected with his jaw.

And with that, Quinn cheered.