Fix the Roof I Think the Universe Fell In

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Yeah here's chapter 9! Please enjoy! Read and REVIEW PLZ!!! Thank you! (bows)

NOTE: The whole imaginary friend thing is just a thing I felt that was almost necessary. When a person gets really lonely, they either stay that way or have an Imaginary friend, I say she had one. You don't like it, deal with it. No Rovēros is incapable of actually affecting anything on the physical plane. Therefore when I referred to him as a poltergeist, it was just noises, not actually breaking things.

Another NOTE: If I don't describe the pro wrestling moves correctly please notify me with corrections, it took me forever to find descriptions and pictures of the wrestling moves.

Rules About Rovēros's Existence:

-He cannot lift/move/touch things in the real world (though this is debatable, it's sort of on and off)

-He cannot be heard by anyone except for Kyoko

-He cannot be seen by anyone except Kyoko

-He cannot be felt(as in the sense of touch) by anyone but Kyoko

-Presumably, he is only a figment of Kyoko's imagination

Chapter 9: Street-Rat vs. Emo

Kyoko's POV…

'A scavenger,' I thought bitterly as I overturned another trash can, 'I've been reduced to a common scavenger.'

Okay apart from the initial joy and excitement of being thrown into my favorite TV show/manga ever, my life still sucks, though not as badly. Between spying on the kids in the academy, raiding trash cans, and attempting to steal from shops (still not very successful in the clothing department though) the whole routine was getting old fast.

I once sat in the far corner of the playground, playing in the sandbox, using an abandoned bucket to make something like a sandcastle. Then I was confronted by what I believe to be some unimportant, unnamed random background character kid from the Academy.

"Hey what's with your clothes? And why are you playing in a sandbox? Are you retarded or-" The bastard never finished his sentence due to me chucking the plastic bucket into his face. By the time he had recovered, Iwas long gone.

I spent her days memorizing the layout of Konoha, trying to spy on the Ninja Academy Lessons, taking naps in trees, attempting to steal food(or money) somehow, and talking to the Kouchuu and Rovēros, or as he preferred to be called, Bob.

At night I raided trash cans, sometimes shops(only once, but she had nearly been caught so she didn't get anything except for fireworks), raiding the training grounds for stray shuriken and kunai, training with her hook swords and gauntlets, training in general, and getting back at people who glare at Naruto.

Basically I don't give a damn if it was plagiarism, most of the booby traps I made were rip offs from the 'Home Alone' movies. Those were my favorite movies when I was little, my thoughts trailed off again.

Basically my schedule left little room for sleep, and the food I mostly found was total crap, it had made me puke more than once, so now I added raiding vegetable gardens to my 'crime list'. Since the lack of resource, AKA food, I've gotten even thinner and I basically look like a mud-covered wraith…

I'm so beginning to hate a lot of people in Konoha, usually I get chased away from the trash cans with some large blunt force impromptu weapon or a kunai. It pisses me off, big time. So every time a person gave any signs of showing up, I would be gone in an instant.

Today I found a cup of unused instant ramen and I planned on eating it somewhere near where the Ninja Academy kids had recess and lunch outdoors.

Then I realized that I didn't have hot water.

"Ah fuck damnit! Why when I finally have food, fate has to screw me over on that deal too?!" I exclaimed to myself as Bob attempted, key word being attempted, to harass some academy students, but on account that he could not be seen, heard or felt, it was self-explanatory.

"Hey Doe, these kids have no imagination." Bob complained.

"Well considering they aspire to be trained assassins for hire, it's no wonder." I rolled my eyes at Bob's antics.

Then I spotted Naruto, with no lunch… 'Nooo, must resist, urge, to, help…' Then I caved, I half-jumped, half-fell out of the tree I was sitting in and decided to sneak up on Naruto.

I took a huge breathe, "HEY SHORT-STACK!" I greeted with a wide grin, making Naruto jump up in surprise.

"Waug!" Then he landed flat on his butt. He looked up at her, muddy brown hair, mud colored ragged clothes, even the mud that seemed to cover every inch of her visible skin(not like that you perverted freaks) including her face. "Na- nani?! You're real?!"

Well that certainly wasn't the answer I had been expecting, I scowled, "Of course I'm real you dumbass!" I snapped, I really don't mean to be insulting, it's just that I'm so used to insulting people that well, it's just natural. I can just insult people without even thinking about it, or meaning it.

Naruto had this slightly hurt look, 'oh crap,' I thought.

"Um, sorry, I cuss a lot, don't be so fucking offended." I amended quickly, though my sarcastic tone wasn't absent.

"Heh, that's alright. I'm just surprised you know, I thought that you were just imaginary, why'd you disappear after Hokage-Jiji showed up?"

I smirked, "I jus' don't like adults much, they control you, give you rules and regulations to follow, don't do this, don't do that, stand there, don't touch this, don't touch that. It drives me a free spirit such as myself completely bonkers!" I made over-exaggerative hand gestures as I spoke.

What proceeded was a friendly conversation, they found that they had so much in common…

"So you're a ramen fan right?" I smirked.

"Yeah!" He punched his fist into the air, "Ramen is the best, Dattebayo!" He smiled like an idiot.

"Here." I thrust the unopened cup of instant ramen into his hands, he just looked at me dumbly, like I wasn't real.

"Seriously?! Arigato!" He hugged the ramen to him like Gollum and the ring from LOTR. Then Sasuke happened to catch Naruto's glare, Naruto insults him, let the Fight-fest begin… Then Sasuke had to drag me into the argument, fuck that Emo-bitch loser…

"Another loser you're hanging out with dobe?" Oh crap, I know that condescending shit-face voice, I looked up form where I was sitting, it was Uchiha Sasuke, fuck damnit, now my day's totally ruined…

Naruto jumped up and started a common argument, well mostly, Sasuke just preened his ego more and more.

"Hey teme, don't insult Kyoko-chan!" Naruto bristled angrily with an anime vein throbbing on his head.

"Kyoko-chan? Finally found some as weak as you to fail with?" Sasuke sneered, oh great I looked behind him, damn his posse (AKA his fangirls) showed up.

I just sat there for a few more word exchanges, but then all that crap Sasuke was spewing I just couldn't let that go unpunished. I stood up calmly and got my insultin' muscles ready for action.

"Great! Just great!" I exclaimed dramatically, gaining the attention of my peers, I glared at Sasuke straight in the eye as I said, "I was having a great day, but you just had to go and ruin it!"

"What was that?" Sasuke's prideful emo-ass voice just annoys me.

"Oh my god, not only is he an Emo-assed loser, but he's stupid too!" I said as I smacked my forehead.

"Hey do you know who he is?!" Screeched Sakura in my ear. I turned to her, my eyes smoldering with distaste and pure (coughfakecough, I'm great at it) rage.

"Yes, and I don't give a fucking shit," She and some other girls gasped at my language, hah the sissies, "about if he was even the fucking son of the Kami! I've only met this teme and I find him a distasteful example of the male species! Hell I've met jackals more polite that this shit-faced ego-case! So, STOP, YELLING, IN, MY, EAR DAMNIT!" I yelled into her ear, although, I think I might've overdone it, I'll bet that that all of Konoha could hear me.

"How dare you insult our Sasuke-kun?!" Most of the fangirls screeched. Okay, did they not listen to what I just said about yelling(screeching) in my ear?! Does being a rabid-fangirl make you dumber or something?!

'Okay, screw this!' I thought as I smashed my fist into Sakura's gut, I didn't even hit that hard and she still went down like a rock.

Naruto and Sasuke were still bantering, well now it escalated into fighting, or sparring. But Naruto was horribly outmatched, I mean Naruto's had to train himself, while Sasuke at least at one point had a private instructor at some point in his life.

"Hah, once a dobe always a dobe." Hell even the fangirls had forgotten about me in favor of watching Sasuke beat up Naruto, they were laughing at him and showering Sasuke with praises that he coldly ignored.

Okay, if I wasn't pissed off before, I am so fucking pissed off now.

"Hey Duck-Head!" I called out, he ignored me, "hey I'm talking to you Emo-Ass!" I chucked a good sized pebble at his head. I hope all that training I've been doing is enough, or I'm going to look, sooooo stupid.

"What?"

"Agni Kai!" I shouted dramatically, inwardly I got all giggly, cause I remembered the line, 'but we're not firebenders,' from Avatar. Everyone stared at me blankly, I smacked my forehead and sighed, "it's a fighting challenge you retarded fuck-tards!"

"As if you could beat me." Emo-ass scoffed, "you're not even in the Academy."

"And you're the top of your class?" I laughed mirthlessly, "don't they teach you that underestimating your opponent can get you killed at the academy, or were you absent that day?" I smirked as if I knew something he didn't, anger lit in his eyes, yay, the Emo-ass is angry! I did I mental happy dance.

"I'm Rookie of the year, street rat." He smirked, and I thought, oh no he didn't.

"Oh no he didn't." Said Bob, though I was the only one who could hear him, wow, great minds think alike I guess.

"Nothing to say loser?" He smirked, okay that tears it!

//Kyoko-sama, he is besmirching your good name!// My Kouchuu clicked out from beneath my clothes and skin, everyone just heard clicking though, //the ignorant cur will pay!// Oh crap, I think they're angry, //when we're done with him, he will grovel before you're awe-inspiring might!// They ranted passionately.

"I'm taking care of this one myself," I whispered under my breath as I approached my opponent. "What? Is the so-called mighty Uchiha afraid of a little competition?" I mocked.

I stepped out of the tree's shadow, and he got a good look at my eyes, he looked unnerved, hah, he must think that I've got some sort of doujutsu, dumbass.

Then he attacked, with taijutsu respectively. I dodged, barely leaving a millimeter between actually dodging and being hit. He aimed a kicked at my torso, I planted my shoeless feet and caught the leg and attempted to twist his ankle. He wrenched his leg from my grasp and launched another kick into my gut, I gasped as the air was knocked out of me. Okay, now I'm pissed!

I attacked him with the taijutsu I've been practicing, though I must say it wasn't as effective I hoped. He repelled my attacks while I dodged his. Damn, what am I doing wrong? I mean I know I'm not that great at taijutsu but this is getting ridiculous! No if this was wrestling, I could do tha-

Then my mind just stopped, I am so stupid! The reason that I'm not being effective is because I've been trying to fight like someone else, I need to fight like me!

I smirked and caught Sasuke's kick again, I turned my free elbow to face him and rammed forward. Since I'm lighter, it'll take more force than usual to pull these off, but this'll work!

My bony elbow smashed into his gut, I hooked my right leg behind his left knee and used dug my elbow into his back. Yeah I'm combining taijutsu, some random moves and pro wrestling! Sasuke was sent to the ground! Inwardly I rejoiced, then he recovered and charged me again with a flurry of angry taijutsu strikes that I barely dodged.

Okay, I did a fakeout punch toward his face he flinched and "dodged" giving me enough chance to make a dive at his legs before he could properly react. I grabbed his legs and while pumping chakra through my muscles, I swung him over my head to slam him into the ground, to complete the combo I got my elbow ready held my fish with my free arm to add more for to the blow and jumped. I planned to slam my chakra enhanced blow into his solar plexus.

But Sasuke rolled out of the way and my elbow met the ground instead and came away bloody as the it dug into the grassy but still rockish, ground. Sasuke tried to axe kick my stomach, but I rolled into what looked like a pushup position, pushed off the ground into a kneeling position, then I was on my feet again and Sasuke's ninja sandals met the earth instead.

Vaguely, I could hear other students placing bets and screaming "fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" I could care less, this is a matter of pride!

Again I'm back to dodging, damn this is tiring. I'm used to running away more than I am fighting, I need more practice.

He scored a few hits though, and since he was heavier than I was and my current weight isn't exactly healthy, well those hits hurt. But it's not like I care, I've had worse.

Time to break out the big guns, and by that I mean the dangerous pro-wrestling moves that could possibly injure or paralyze this bastard!

I was behind him for a brief moment, then I hooked an arm under his armpit and my hand behind his head, then I put his arm in a hammerlock hold. I had him in a Three Quarter Nelson!

Then miraculously (for him anyway) he used his other arm to pull my hair which I haven't cut in a while. It hurt enough for me to loosen my ¾ Nelson/Hammerlock hold. What followed basically consisted of his kicking and punching my gut, had this fight taken place earlier when I wasn't used to being hit, sure I would've gone down.

But not now, I suppose I should thank my drunk bitch of a mother, but I'm ungrateful like that. I let my face go expressionless with concentration as I hit Sasuke with a left hook. He grunted as he was sent back a few feet, I would be sooooo much stronger if I had a decent meal more than every once in a while.

He smashed his right fist into my face in retaliation, then I put him in a classic arm triangle chokehold kicked out his knees and let him fall to the ground with me still maintaining the chokehold. Although I think the reason he couldn't retaliate well, was due to my smell, I'll admit it, I haven't bathed once since I left the mountain about two and a half months ago.

Then the teachers showed up and broke it fight up, I was unlucky enough to be nearest to Mizuki. Gah, I hate that traitorous bastard, I glared at him and Iruka.

"Hey we're fighting here!" I struggled as Iruka forcefully pulled me off of Sasuke, his nose wrinkled at my smell.

"You need to go home, your parents might worry." He said kindly, damn I hate it when people assume.

"Fine, see ya around you fucking numbutts!" I yelled as I climbed up a tree like I do walls and high-tailed it before anyone could say anything or get more adults to complicate the situation. Bob galloped along behind me.

Although, I could vaguely feel several pairs of eyes watching me as I leapt through the sparse trees (no not ninja style, more like on all fours and less coordinated-like). I climbed down and waved my fist at no-one in particular.

"Hey whoever you are, you're not doing a very good job of hidin' your presence, so either say hello or throw a kunai so I have a reason to kick your sorry ass!" I yelled with ill-tempered-ness.

Wind blew through the trees and silence reined.

"I hate rude people." Bob sniffed irritably.

"Same here Bob, same here." I continued to walk toward the back slums of Konoha.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hokage's Office… 3rd Person POV…

"Hokage-sama." The ANBU addressed respectfully.

"Rat." The Sandaime greeted the Rat-masked ANBU.

"There was a girl about eleven, causing a disturbance at the Academy. She had challenged Uchiha Sasuke to a spar. She doesn't seem to have family, and was conversing with the de-" A glare from the Hokage, "Uzumaki and gave him an instant ramen cup. I trailed her after the fight was broken up by the Academy instructors, she was able to sense my presence. Also it seems that Uzumaki had met her once before."

The Hokage thought for a moment, then remembered a month back on the Kyuubi Festival. Naruto had been talking to someone, except once he himself had shown up she climbed up a wall and disappeared into the night. She had been about Naruto's age if not slightly taller.

Ragged clothes, mud covered face and hair, her hair had hung in clumps held together by grime and dirt. The Hokage could only assume that she lived on the street.

"Anything else?"

"Hai Hokage-sama, she goes by Kyoko and also seems to have an aversion to adults in general." The ANBU stated.

"That will be all Nezumi-san, you are dismissed." Then the ANBU disappeared with a puff of smoke. This proved a bit interesting, the Hokage wanted to see about this for himself. Naruto having a friend his age was wonderful, but she could be faking or pretending, you could never be too careful…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Late That Night…

Kyoko was digging through the trash, again, while talking to Bob.

"Why'd you leave them all today?" Bob asked. "They could've helped eventually, a warm place to sleep, food not from a garbage can, and someone to look out for you.

Kyoko sighed, and turned to face him with a bitter scowl marring her young features, "As if. The only adults I've ever even liked are six feet under, and the rest of them are probably just as controlling as all those money hounds that tried to adopt me back home!"

"Kyoko-" Bob started.

"I don't wanna hear it Bob!" Kyoko spat irritably as she tossed a banana peel over her shoulder.

"But-"

"No, I don't care Bob." Kyoko dug into the trash further, "I'm perfectly content living in an abandoned shack-like building and eating out of the trash cans when people aren't chasing me with sharp metal weapons! Hmph, it's as if they want to keep their trash. Sheesh…"

"Um, but-"

"What Bob?!" Kyoko snapped impatiently.

Then she heard several footfalls coming from the apartment building behind her. 'Oh crap.' She thought as she turned around to face the person.

Wavy black hair, red eyes, holy-

It was Kurenai, freaking, Yuuhi.

Bob snickered.

'Not the motherly types! Noooooooo!' Kyoko thought despairingly.

Whether she was chased away with kunai or Kurenai makes her come in, either way, Kyoko felt like she was so screwed…

A/N: Yeah, this is where that chap ends! Sorry if I don't describe the actual fighting very well, I suck at that. Please review! Tell me what you think Kurenai will say/do, also I'm not very good at writing her character, so oh bleh to explanations. Just review! Thank you! Good night!