(As soon as Navi and Tatl made Link leave the room—not like he needed much convincing after the uncomfortable silence that the narrator left behind—he strolled over to the next room. When he came to the Zora guard it was quite clear that he was quite puzzled due to the fact that this was a comedy fanfiction and yet the authoress was, a few moments ago, giving her best attempt to try and be serious. What? Oh, no, wait… That's not what he was confused about. Nevermind!)
"Ah! Mikau! What have you been doing this whole time?" the Zora dude asked.
"Oh, you know…" Link grinned, trying to sound suggestive—he was getting used to pretending to be Mikau. "I've been busy."
"Evan the bandleader has been waiting for you for a while now." reported the Zora, "Hurry! Go in! Go in!"
(When Link entered he walked up the small set of stairs to speak to a Zora with headphones on and brown specks instead of blue ones all Zoras have. He stood before what looked like a large piano/organ thingy. This Zora must have been Evan, the bandleader, who at a closer glance, had no visible eyes.)
"Mikau! How was it? Did you get the eggs back?" Evan questioned apprehensively.
"I…uh…"
"Oh… You couldn't do it, after all." Evan sighed.
"DUDE!" Tatl yelled enthusiastically, whizzing out of Link's head. "Where are your EYES!?"
I think they are those bulging thingies at the sides of his head…
"No! No, I think those are his headphones!" Navi stated uncertainly, also flying out of Link's head. She then squinted her little fairy eyes, "Now where are they…?"
"Guys, hello… My eyes are right here." Evan called out, pointing to some of the brown specks on his head.
…How many eyes do you have?
"TWO!" Evan screamed out in the general direction he heard the third voice come from.
I still say his eyes are the things bulging at the sides of his head…
"Bah! Whatever!" was Evan's only response. He ignored the three questioning females with undistinguishable appearances, "Have you been to see Lulu out in the back by the ocean?"
"No…" Link sighed, facepalming at the fact that all the women questioning Ecan had no distinguishable features, "I haven't gone to see her yet…"
"Well, ever since the pirates stole her eggs, she's just been standing out there gazing at the sea and sighing…" Evan grumbled.
"I—"
"…Mikau! We need those eggs safe so Lulu can get her voice back." Evan yelled at the young male.
"Whoa; WHOA! Back up here!" Link shouted at Evan, "Can we slow down a bit?"
Evan did, but still assumed that Link knew everything he referred to, "We've grown accustomed to life in a peaceful sea… The only one among the Zora tribe who is still able to go to blows with those wild pirates…"
(DUN DUN DAH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
"It is you, with the blood of Zoran heroes flowing within you." Evan proclaimed, but the moment was already ruined.
"Ouch! Yo, Cherry-sama?" Link asked, glaring up at the intercom. "What the heck?"
Sound effects are fun!
"But annoying, and overdone." Link answered, raising his finger to point at the intercom.
…Yeah, well, Evan ignored me. So.
Link grumbled, "Whatever."
"I'm still keeping Lulu's problem a secret from the other band members." Evan said, though Link observed he seemed disgruntled by the Narrator's outburst.
Link wasn't listening, "You know, if you're going to do sound effects, don't turn the volume up to max."
But it wasn't!
"They've all been looking forward to our Carnival of Time concert. And I can't tell them it's cancelled 'cause Lulu can't sing, can I?" Evan continued in the background.
"It sounded like it though!" Link hissed at the intercom.
Yeah well, next time you want me to bring it up to max?
"WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!?!?!!??" Evan screamed so loud that it shook the entire…(dang, I wish I knew the name of this) place.
(With the scary amount of lungpower Evan seemed to have, Link sent flying out of the room. As soon as he hit the ground, he ran as fast as his little Zora legs would carry him, and frankly faster than anyone with legs his length could. When he glanced around for some refuge from that monster of a bandleader, he ran to the right. There, at the final door behind the seashell stage, there was another Zora guard, only this one was being a naughty little Zora and was peaking into the room he guarded, through the keyhole. Judging by this male Zora's behavior, it is safe to assume that this is Lulu's room.)
When Link came running up behind him, the perverted guard's only response was: "Shut up. I'm busy right now…"
"GET OUTTA MY WAY…!" Link snarled with such a dangerous tone in his voice, that it would make Darmani scared.
"Ah! Mikau!" the perverted Zora exclaimed. "You caught me!"
Tatl zipped out of Link's head, "You pervert!"
"Eee…I…uh…er, L0Lulu's been l-looking kinda weird lately…" the pervert of a Zora explained. "I was w-worried…"
"LOLulu? What kind of word is that?" Link questioned, temporarily forgetting his previous dread of the bandleader.
"Not LOLulu. L0Lulu." Navi corrected as she flew out of Link's head. "And it must have been a typo."
Yeaaaahhh, it was. Out of all the typos my sister made, this one was the most amusing. So I kept it.
"It's not like I was s-spying on her or anything…" the perverted creep of a Zora stuttered. "I-I'm not some k-kind of weirdo or some sorta slimy fish or anything."
"MIKAU! GET BACK HERE!!!" Evan screamed from down the hallway. "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET!!!"
"…Um, yeah. Uh… I just r-remembered that I have somewhere to be…" the perverted Zora guard mumbled.
Link looked anxiously at the door, and at Evan, who was following ominously behind, "Whatever, just move!" Link snapped.
(With Evan in close pursuit, Link did not have time to notice how fast the perverted Zora guard ran away—only furthering the accusation that he was a slimy fish. However, that was then and this is now, so now Link was inside Lulu's room.)
"Whew!" Link wiped his forehead. "I never thought that I would get out of that!"
"Um… Link…? I think I know why the Zora was being so obsessive about being a stalker…" Navi paused, looking at the room.
(As Link turned around to face the room, a shining blade protruded from the wall beside him; he could see his reflection in the flat of the blade. He gave a start and took a step back. He turned his head away from his reflection and he saw an identical blade was half-wedged into a table. A diary lay on a table that had a large gash through it. As Link's eyes gazed upon the damage in the room: spears, overturned tables, dozens of sword marks shredded the walls, many of Lulu's other personal belongings had been thrown about, and a Deku Scrub Salesman peeked out of a potted plant in the corner. (O.o ask the game designers).)
"…What happened here?" Tatl asked, as she panned over the room.
"Cool." Link smirked like the Hylian kid he was underneath that mask.
Navi took a closer look at the blade Link's face had had an encounter with, "Judging by the shape and the craftsmanship of this blade, I'd say that the Gerudo Warriors had attacked. However, I haven't seen any Gerudos in Termina…"
Tatl flew over to Navi's side and glanced at the blade as well, "I dunno what it's like in Hyrule, however a blade like this is a trademark of the Pirates. They must have ransacked the place."
"This must be what Mikau meant by the pirates stole Lulu's eggs." Navi concluded, remembering what Mikau had sung.
"Cool." Link smirked again.
"Hey look! I found her diary!" Tatl exclaimed, flailing the book around in her hands.
(With that Tatl cracked open the book and started reading it aloud to her two companions, and further violating Lulu's privacy.)
"'Blub blub, blub, blub, blub…blub!'" Tatl quoted out of the diary. "…Okay, this isn't getting anywhere. Alright, who can read Zoran?"
(Both fairies turned to gaze at Zora Link.)
"What?" Link asked, shrugging his shoulders.
"Read." Navi commanded, taking the book from Tatl and placing her fairy index finger on the cover.
"I can't read! I already told you!" Link grinned proudly.
"Well maybe Mikau could! Now READ!" Navi demanded to Link, starting to turn red from anger.
"No." Link replied sharply.
"Come on, Link!" Tatl begged, "Think about it! We are actually giving you permission to read a girl's diary!!! You know how rare that is from us females!?!"
"No." Link repeated.
(Navi took a deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, DEEP, DEEP, DEEP breath.)
"LULU'S DIARY:" Link shouted as he grabbed the diary from Navi and flung it open.
(Our three heroes rearranged some of the scattered objects in the room to sit on as Link began to read out loud. It's story time!!!)
Link opened to the first page "…Hey! COOL! There are pictures!" Link exclaimed enthusiastically.
(The fairies glared.)
"Ahem." Link cleared his voice awkwardly "'It has been two days since I lost my voice. I don't want Mikau to know, so I talked to Evan about it. He recommended that I take the eggs to the Marine Research Lab to have them checked. I think I will take them right away.'"
"Very good, Link!" Tatl complimented with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"…How could she talk if she lost her voice?" Link paused and raised his eyebrow, as he stared at the diary page (and the picture that accompanied it).
"…Hmmm…" Navi pondered. "'Take the eggs to the Marine Research Lab to have them checked'? Checked for what?"
"What was that?" Link asked as he turned over to look at Navi.
"Nothing. Continue." Navi muttered to Link, gesturing with her tiny fairy hand for Link to continue.
"Okay. Ahem. 'Such a terrible things has happened today that I don't even know where to begin writing. I heard a sound late at night, and when I opened my eyes, I saw strangers in my room. I tried to fight, but they were able to steal my precious eggs. It seems I lost consciousness after that.'" Link continued. He occasionally attempted to effeminate his voice—which would sound odd to anyone listening; however the fairies glared at him whenever he did this.
"…So that's why the room looks like the way it does." Tatl confirmed with a newfound level of understanding, stating the obvious, even though she wasn't having an ONA.
"…What in the world would the eggs be checked for…?" Navi contemplated.
"Okay… Next up… 'Today, I told everything to Mikau, the one person whom I didn't want to know about it. At first, I was too embarrassed and too sad to do anything. And with the words that Mikau said at that moment, I felt all hope had been lost. But please, Mikau, I'm begging you, don't do anything rash.'" Link concluded, "…And there aren't any more entries."
"That was beautiful!!!" The Deku Scrub Salesman proclaimed in awe, clapping his hands at the most inappropriate time.
"That was a short diary!" Tatl complained, bobbing up and down angrily. "Like, come on! Three entries?!"
"I still wanna know how she was able to speak after losing her voice!!" Link complained.
(He closed the book and placed it on a severed chair. The diary immediately slid off.)
"…Why would she feel the need to hide this from Mikau…? And then why did she tell him…?" Navi pondered, resting her chin on her fingers.
(DUN DUN DUHHH!)
"Oh…Crap…" Navi gaped.
"Considering that she lost her voice, you'd think she'd spend more time writing down her emotions than she normally would!" Tatl huffed, crossing her arms and turning her head to the side.
Navi's whimper broke the rants of both her roommate and her sidekick, "…Guys…?"
Tatl and Link turned towards Navi and responded at the same time: "Yes?"
"Well… It's just… Um…" Navi stuttered, looking side-to-side, unsure of how to enlighten the other two.
"Yesssss?" Link repeated.
Navi decided to start with the basics, "…Okay… What do we know about the account with the Zoras, taking place in this cove?"
"Well…" The Deku Scrub Salesmen pondered as he looked up at the ceiling.
"No, not you." Navi sighed in annoyance, and then pointed her finger to the random hole in the ceiling. "This is private. Go away."
(Grumbling under his breath about how he never liked fairies, and took off his funky hat, entered the flower, grabbed his underwear, his postage stamp, and his shoelaces and flew off into that strange little hole in the ceiling.)
"Anyway…" Navi turned back to Tatl and Link.
(Link was amusing himself by examining the pictures in Lulu's diary. He put it away after he caught Navi glaring at him.)
"The band, as we know it, is about to hold a concert at Clock Town on the day of the Carnival." Tatl said in response to Navi's question.
"Cool." Link commented, peeking inside the diary when he thought nobody was watching.
"And Evan, the bandleader, canceled it because Lulu, their lead singer, couldn't sing, after laying some mysterious eggs." Navi continued, adding onto Tatl's statement.
"I don't think Evan told the other band members about it." Tatl added.
"Cool." Link smiled reapeated, like a broken record. Running gag time.
"Soon after she laid the strange eggs, pirates attacked and took them from her." Navi continued.
"Then, she told this Mikau guy about the eggs, of all people. And he apparently became enraged and went to the pirates to retake the eggs." Tatl said.
"Cool." Zora Link smirked, lifting up the diary cover a second time and quickly peeked inside and then let it go before anyone saw him.
"Then, the pirates almost kill him, the people who were in charge of the ice cream stand gave him ice cream, and that's where we came in." Navi concluded, neglecting the part where Link slashed Mikau a couple of—er, several times.
"Cool." Now Link was just trying to be annoying.
"Yeah, so what? We know this already, and…?" Tatl asked Navi.
"There's quite a large piece from the picture missing here." Navi told Tatl, trying to put it as delicately as possible. "And I think I might have figured it out."
"And this piece is…?" Tatl prompted.
"In Lulu's Diary, she said in the first entry that she was going to have the eggs checked at the Marine Research Lab."
"Cool." Link said again, but the fairies just ignored him.
"Yeah, so?" Tatl asked.
"In the final entry, she told everything to Mikau, 'the one person' she didn't want to tell everything to." Navi continued on, "Then, something about this 'everything', made Mikau go into berserker mode, attack the pirates, who ended up killing him."
(Actually, Link was the one who had killed Mikau, and there was a high possibility he would have lived if Link hadn't attacked him. For the purposes of her theory, and to protect her sidekick from the wrath of the Zora, Navi omitted this.)
"……………Yes…?" Tatl asked.
"Now, Lulu said 'please Mikau, I'm begging you, don't do anything rash', suggesting that she cares about him. Which is probably the reason why she told him everything about the eggs, and not the other band members." Navi theorized to Tatl, "Now that sent Mikau into a rage after the pirates, which suggests that he cared about Lulu too."
"Cool." Zora Link smiled, pulling the sharpie marker out of his ear. He opened Lulu's Diary and started to draw pictures beside Lulu's pictures.
"What's your point?" Tatl paused.
"If they both loved each other what makes you think that they didn't take their relationship to a higher level?" Navi asked Tatl.
"…Um………………………" Tatl paused.
"Cool." Zora Link smirked, drawing a picture of a Dodongo roaring down on a picture of Lulu and Mikau holding hands.
"The eggs were a…product of that. Link killed Mikau, so the least we can do is finish his quest, since Link's impersonating him and all. This means that we have to go after Link and Lulu's eggs ourselves." Navi explained, "We're tangled in the huge emotional affairs of the Indigo-gos now."
"…Wait," Link asked shoving the sharpie pen in his other ear, "did you say 'Link and Lulu'?"
(Both fairies turned to look at Link for the first time during the exchange. They wore solemn looks.)
"Um… Link?" Tatl said gently, putting a tiny fairy hand on his shoulder.
"What?" Link asked.
Navi had to spit out, "…You're no longer a virgin…"
"Aw, man!" Link sulked, "This sucks!"
(That went way better than they could ever have anticipated.)
"Now I'm going to have to join another cult group!" Link pouted.
(Or not…)
"No, Link, virginity isn't a cult group!" Navi sighed, slapping her forehead with her hand.
"Then what is it?" Link asked.
"…Let's put it this way…" Tatl said slowly, "…You're a father…"
"What?!" Link exclaimed; he dropped the diary. "No I'm not!"
"Arrrggghhh…" Navi moaned. "Yes, Link! You are!"
"Prove it!" Link sneered, pointing an accusing finger at Navi.
"It actually doesn't say anywhere that those eggs were Mikau's children." Tatl pointed out to Navi, however she just ignored her.
…However, if you read between the lines, then…
"Those eggs Lulu laid…they were yours! That's why Mikau killed himself!" Navi snapped back, "It's your fault, Link. Mikau knew Lulu was two timing him! Those are your children!"
"Wait, what?" Tatl stared.
"No they aren't! I'm not listening!!!" Link sang as he covered his ears and started humming the Legend of Zelda theme. "La la la la—!"
"FACE IT, LINK!" Navi yelled in Link's face with such lungpower that it made that full-grown Zora body of his fall over backwards. "YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY AS SOON AS YOU PUT ON THAT MASK!!!"
(…Both the Narrator and Tatl were too disturbed to speak…)
"NOW, IF YOU DON'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN CHILDREN—!!!" Navi screamed, probably mentally scaring the Zoras outside Lulu's room as well as the Zora inside the room.
"THEY ARE NOT MY CHILDREN! AND EVEN IF I DID MAKE THEM, I PROBABLY DIDN'T MEAN TO!" Link protested so loudly it made Navi also fall over too.
"I KNOW! You were probably just fooling around!" Navi shouted. "BUT YOU SHOULD STILL TAKE SOME RESPONIBILITY!!!"
"BUT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE MINE OR NOT!" Link hollered.
"That's true, we don't know about Zora's egg laying process…" Navi paused, cutting off abruptly, "Cuccoos' eggs don't hatch every time they lay them… There must be Rukkoos around for Chickkoos to hatch…"
"…F-for a-all we know, it-it could b-be like having your…" Tatl couldn't finish her sentence, she distracted herself by looking at Link's drawings in the diary.
"Hmm… That could be right…" Navi groaned, "…We should have spent more time around Ruto!"
"No, we shouldn't have!" Link snapped back; if Navi ever said anything as disturbing or as disgusting as that, then he'd—
"WHATEVER!" Tatl shouted, throwing the diary at Link's face. "Let us go recover the eggs and then we'll see!"
"—If they're fertilized or not…" Navi muttered in displeasure, glowing a little more red than usual.
(Link stuffed Navi into his head.)
"Let's get going, shall we?" Link smiled with the most fake smile anyone had ever seen on his face; this time it was made out of a small piece of coral.
(Link should have known that Navi was never going to keep quiet about this. When Link exited the vandalized room he had both fairies stashed in his head.)
"Honestly Link, I knew you could be a pervert sometimes, but this is going too far," Navi nagging radiated out of his ears. Many Zoras gave Link weird looks as he walked by.
"I said it wasn't me!" Link hissed at Navi, wearing his coral smile as he waved nonchalantly at the staring Zoras.
"And here I had such a high opinion of you! But now—" Navi continued.
"It wasn't me!" Link repeated walking faster than he had previously. Maybe this was why all of fandom thought Navi was annoying.
"You! You deserve to be punished! Here, Tatl pull Sunset Orange and hold it! I'll strum Crimson Mauve!" Navi commanded Tatl, still exerting control over the Zoran male, even though she was really just nagging Link because she couldn't nag the real perpetrator.
(Suddenly Link's left arm bent at an angle that looked like he was about to punch himself. However, instead of hitting him, it just stayed in this position. Afterwards, Link's right hand, which was resting by his side, started slapping his leg.)
"No…wait…" Navi pondered after hearing a repetitive slapping sound, looking over Link's Colour-Coded Nerve Chart, "I need to strum blue! Yes! Blue!"
(From his elbow up to his hand, his left arm spun in small circles.)
"Aw, crap! Not blue! Gah! It was Twilight Mahogany! Yes! Twilight Mahogany!" Navi grumbled to herself.
(In the middle of his stride, Link began hopping on one foot.)
"AHHH! I did it again! Oh bah! This is too troublesome!" Navi growled.
(Navi decided that it would be easier if she just flew out of Link's head-hat and slapped his cheek. So she did. Of course, since the fairies seemed to be making a fool out of Link in front of all the Zoras today, he had just happened to stumble upon Lulu—the female Zora in the entire place, and who looked exactly like Ruto, only wearing clothing.)
"Oh, um… Hey!" Link smiled, looking at Lulu, rubbing his sore cheek, or rather, the minute and agonizing bruise Navi's small hand had left behind. "Hey! How are you?"
(However, unlike all the other Zoras within the area, Lulu just glanced at Link, gave him a cold and distant sigh, and glanced down at the ground again.)
"That sad face is trying to tell you something." Tatl sighed, flying out Link's head to look at Lulu. "…You can see it in her expression!"
(Tatl flew back inside, just had Navi done a while back. Like Tatl said, the sadness in her face was trying to tell him something, however, Link was not concentrating on her face, he was too engaged in looking at her—)
"EEEEWWWWW! LINK!" screamed both disgusted fairies within his head; this even managed to startle the depressed Lulu. "TURN OFF THE TV!!!!"
"Heh heh heh… Um… If you'll excuse me…" Link chuckled, giving Lulu a parting wink.
(On that note, Link dashed outside, covering his ears, which seemed to be where the noises of the fairies seemed to leak out of.)
"Link, you disgusting, sad excuse for a Hylian—!" Navi exclaimed, outraged by how this 14 year old boy had gotten so perverted within a few minutes.
"Mikau had a good eye!" Link remarked, staring off into space.
"Oh please! In six years from now, you would have despised the naked version of Lulu on any day!" Navi snapped, "What is wrong with you?!"
"Maybe—EEEEEEEEE!!!!" Tatl screeched.
(Navi and Tatl both whizzed out of Link's head due to what Link's Inner Mind Theater had featured on this particular moment.)
"Maybe this a side effect of wearing the Zora Mask." Tatl suggested, trying her best to get what she had just seen on the TV out of her head.
"What do you mean?" Navi asked Tatl.
"Think of it this way." Tatl started slowly, "Whenever Link wears the Deku Mask, he always short, can twirl around to kill people, and has this squeaky sound whenever he walks."
"Yes…" Navi answered.
"Whenever Link wears the Goron Mask, he gets big and fat with the ability to roll up in a ball." Tatl continued, explaining her theory to Navi.
"…Yes…" Navi paused, contemplating these facts.
Which shouldn't even technically be possible, with his body weight.
Navi turned to the intercom, "Quiet you!"
"Perhaps Mikau was a Zora stud, so whenever Link turns into a Zora, his interests in Zoran women heightens," Tatl suggested, "After all, we're pretty sure Mikau's the father, so...."
Navi could only roll her eyes, "Oh, yes, being interested in Zoran women is a very special ability…"
"HEY NAVI! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" Link exclaimed.
(Tatl and Navi turned their heads to see that Link had jumped in the water and was now swimming around beneath the surface. He would swim in swirling circles and then break through the surface, doing a flip, and dive back down. He looked like a dolphin.)
"Come back here!" Navi snapped at Link.
(He sighed as he wandered back onto shore; he was having fun being Link the Dolphin.)
"There, does that count as a 'special ability'?" Tatl asked Navi.
"Whatever, let's go." Navi sighed, flying back into Link's head, hoping to herself that the alarming images on TV were gone.
(Link took off his Zora mask and headed to Ikana Canyon. Abrupt? Don't blame me, blame the scriptwriter. Anyway, Link then used that nifty little Eye of Truth to talk to an invisible guy.)
"Huh? Don't tell me… That's…" the invisible solider asked the green-clad Hylian boy.
"What?" Link asked, cocking his head to the side.
"I'm shocked." The solider exclaimed, looking at Link's sword.
Before the guard could say anything else Navi flew out of Link's hat and said: "Yes, we know, that big sword is compensating for something—"
(Link stuffed Navi into his hat.)
"You're the first person who's ever spoken to me." The guard gasped, seeming oblivious to the Eye of Truth. "I've been here for many years, waving my arms around and asking for help, but everyone ignores me and passes me by."
"Well that must suck—" Tatl huffed; she could sympathize because other characters had a habit of ignoring her.
"It's 'cause I'm about as impressive as a stone, right?" the solider asked, looking at Tatl, tears in his eyes.
"…Erm…" Tatl paused.
"…I'm used to it, though." The solider sighed.
Wait… Tatl? How can you see him?
"Because I'm magical." Tatl explained, creating a little rainbow with her hands.
(In the meantime, Link and Navi had started an argument, which they seem to be doing a lot in this chapter, despite the fact that Navi was in Link's hat. They made such a racket that they managed to make nearby Bombchus (the animal version) explode.)
"Umm… I have a request…" the solider mumbled weakly.
"I TOLD YOU LINK, YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR THOSE WHO ARE OLDER THAN YOU!" Navi hissed, jumping up and down inside Link's hat, and on Link's large bald spot.
"GO KNIT A SWEATER!" Link snarled back at Navi.
"Can you give me some medicine that would make even an unnoticeable stone like me feel better?" the solider cut in.
"Sure." Link said, his voice bitter from the argument.
(Link pulled out a bottle with some red liquid in it and tossed it over to the invisible guy.)
"Ah, that's… Is that it?" the solider asked, shoving open the cork and gulping down the potion.
O.o Dude. Where'd you get the Red Potion?
"That's not Red Potion!" Link protested, yelling up at the intercom. "It's some of the ice cream I salvaged from the ocean!"
"…That is disgusting." Tatl groaned in repulsion as she watched the guard drink the fluid.
(…The solider drank the concoction of ice cream and salt water…)
"…I feel better…I think." The solider gulped, giving a small, revolting burp. "Thanks…?"
"Have no fear! LINK is here!" Link exclaimed.
"Have much fear! Link is here…" Navi moaned, giving a large sigh.
"Oh…here… In gratitude…" the solider urped, unsure whether or not he'd throw up or not.
(DUH NUH NUH DUH NUH NUH NUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH! Link got the Stone Mask! Now Link can be a sneaky ninja! Erm…stone…?)
"Now… Let me practice standing out…" the solider groaned as his stomach made a unnerving rumbling sound.
(The guard/solider promptly proceeded to begin waving arm around, holding onto his spear. He probably would have used his other hand, however, that was clutching onto his gurgling stomach.)
"Um, sir?" Tatl paused, looking at the guy. "I don't think that—"
"Huh? Not yet? I don't stand out at all?" the solider asked, looking at Tatl, still waving his arms around.
"Well, not really…" Navi paused, for if she was randomly walking by this guy, and saw him wave his arms around at her, she would have no idea how she'd react.
"…That's weird. But I'm trying so hard…" the solider moped.
"Look, buddy, if you wanna stand out, then wear something flashy! Like hot pink!" Link proclaimed, placing his chin in his hand.
"…Do you have a hot pink tunic on you I can borrow?" the solider wondered hopefully, giving Link an expectant stare.
"No, but I heard there was a tunic shop back in Clock Town—" Link considered as he turned his torso and pointed in the general direction of Clock Town.
"Oh, well." The solider let out a heavy sigh, disregarding Link and continued waving his arms around.
(And on that note, Link headed back to the Great Bay. And although that entire scene was rather random, I'm sure the scriptwriter had some reason for typing it up… Anywho, within the time that it took Link to get to the Great Bay, he had put his Zora Mask back on and spontaneously decided to try and enter the Pirate's Fortress. When he swam under the water's surface, he noticed some wooden boards adorned with the clichéd skull and crossbones on them that were attached to the wall of a cliff.)
"Hey…hang on!" Tatl's ONA bellowed in the depths of the water. "Doesn't this look a little strange?"
"Of course if does!" Zora Link retorted, shoving Tatl back in his head. "This obviously must be the entrance to the Pirates Fortress! Where—"
"—they have your kids held captive," Navi finished.
"They are not my kids! They're Mikau's! And we don't even know if they were his or not!" Link objected, who, in an attempt retaliate at Navi, banged his fist on the side of his head.
"But you're Mikau!" Navi pointed out.
"No I'm not!" Link insisted.
"Well you are now!" Navi hissed, bobbing up and down in Link's head, forming yet another brand new headache.