Long chapter is long. But I think you guys will hopefully enjoy it. Some of you have guessed some things that may happen, others are a little off. I won't say which are which ;3
Spock looked up at the growl and took in a sharp breath. "Dr. McCoy!" He stood, feeling his cheeks and ears tinge. In truth his final decision had been to turn T'Pring's hand away, letting her down easy. Now however it was a compromising scene he logically knew, even by Vulcan standards. Then he immediately wondered why being seen in such a way bothered him when McCoy was not technically his mate. This woman has truly spectacular timing...
T'Pring looked at her as well, her Vulcan control returned to her. "So this is...McCoy."
The doctor narrowed her eyes at the other woman and crossed her arms. "That's right. Mind introducing yourself?"
"I am T'Pring. Spock's intended bondmate," she said simply.
McCoy's nostrils flared and she narrowed her gaze on Spock. Spock knew that despite the bravado and yelling that often ensued, the "arguments" she and he got into were not the kind that threatened violence. If anything they seemed almost friendly, so long as salads weren't involved apparently. Now however he was not so sure. "So it's true...you've got a damn fiancée?"
"That is the Earth term for one a person is engaged to be married to, correct?" T'Pring said before Spock could answer.
"Yes."
"Then that is both true and not." McCoy arched her eyebrows at her and Spock sensed another blow coming. T'Pring Continued before he could stop her. "What we have is less than a marriage, but more than an engagement. We are already partially bonded through our minds. It is a connection you cannot hope to match."
McCoy looked shocked, the anger temporarily draining from her face. Spock also thought he saw hurt in her expression and protectiveness surged through him in a wish to wipe it away. "T'Pring, you have my sympathy, but I truly don't think you and I are compatible." McCoy looked to him, seeming more worried than anything suddenly.
T'Pring looked at him, her eyes narrowing. "So you do seek to end our bond?"
"Our bond has never been strong. I did not even realize you were among the survivors till now." McCoy winced and Spock grew more confused.
"...It can become stronger, as I stated."
"I do not see the logic in strengthening the bond."
"...You seek to bond with this woman?"
Spock felt his ears tinge and McCoy gaped at her with a red face. "Whoa there missy! I-It's not like that, we just...uh..."
"You are pregnant with his child," she said simply, hiding her hands in her sleeves as she rose. "This would imply a definite level of familiarity."
"...yeah," she said quietly, almost shamefully. "I...it wasn't intentional or anything, we're just...we're not together like that. I didn't know he was...with you."
Spock moved towards her as well. "Doctor, T'Pring and I have been bonded since we were seven. It is an arrangement."
McCoy's head snapped up to him, then to T'Pring, then back to him in shock. He wasn't sure if that was more comforting than shame at this point. "Wha-dah-an arranged marriage? At seven?"
"It is logical," T'Pring said, a slight wrinkle in her brow at her incredulous tone.
"How the hell is that logical? Most cultures on earth stopped with arranged marriages decades ago! What about free choice!"
"Vulcan was not Earth. There are private imperatives within our society that deem it necessary to ensure we have a mate in our adulthood," T'Pring said. "You would not understand this."
The sympathetic look McCoy had been warring with melted completely and she glared at T'Pring. "Okay, look. I may not be happy with Spock for this little revelation," she cast him a glare that clearly said he would be in for an earful later. "But he said he doesn't want to bond with or marry you or whatever. Since it wasn't his choice in the first place to be your "mate", I support him in that because he's got a right to choose what to do with his own damn life."
Spock was surprised, but felt emboldened by those words in an odd way. It was rather pleasant to be supported by someone in such a decision.
"Even if he has denied you that choice?" T'Pring asked coolly.
Lenore narrowed her eyes at the other woman and Spock was reminded of a cat about to strike. "I have plenty of choices, but I'm making them for what's best for my child. My life and its life ain't none of your concern though."
Dark Vulcan eyes narrowed. "It is when you have conceived with my bondmate," she said lowly.
"T'Pring." The girl straightened, eyes snapping up as T'Pau entered. "You are becoming compromised."
"I am not—"
"Go meditate. You are not thinking as clearly as I had hoped and will only cause further tension. Decide what you truly wish to do depending upon logic, not your own desires."
"...I will go to Spock's quarters," she started, but Lenore held up a hand.
"I don't recommend that, missy. Spock and I share family quarters, per Starfleet regs." Spock thought he noted a hint of superiority in her tone. "Bit awkward for everyone at this point."
T'Pring was quiet before Jim cleared his throat. "We have a free room near the officer's quarters that she could rest in."
"That will do," T'Pau said. "T'Pring, follow Captain Kirk to that room. I wish to speak with Spock and Dr. McCoy. After you have calmed we can discuss this further."
T'Pring did not seem pleased but swept past Lenore and Spock. Jim tried to give them both supportive looks before turning to escort the other woman away. Spock felt a moment of relief before realizing T'Pau was still there and regarding them calculatingly.
"Dr. McCoy," she finally said. "I have anticipated meeting you."
McCoy blinked, her stance relaxing just slightly. "Uh...thanks?"
"I am T'Pau. I am leader of Spock's clan."
The human woman's eyes widened. "O-Oh...um, nice to meet you, ma'am."
Spock felt like dipping his head at T'Pau being called "ma'am", but the elder woman's brow simply rose quizzically. "Indeed...Please sit. I assure you, I mean no harm. I only wish to understand the situation at hand."
McCoy nodded slowly. "Alright..."
The matriarch sat in the nearest chair again, her staff in her hands. "I understand this was not intentional. Your pregnancy."
She shook her head. "No. It was an accident. Ahem, fertility drugs were involved..."
"So Spock told me. You were not previously in a relationship?"
Lenore blushed again, leaning against the table so she nearly sat on it. "N-no. Not with Spock or anyone else."
"I see. I have heard you have been previously married."
She gripped the table tighter. "Yeah...on Earth. It didn't end well," she said decisively.
"May inquire on whose fault it rested?"
There was a pause before she sighed and rubbed over her forehead. "I won't say it's all his cause that ain't true. I say the better chunk is still his, but I had my issues too. But it ended before it got worse and brought me to Starfleet so I don't have any regrets."
T'pau nodded slowly and Spock thought she saw satisfaction in her face. "I see. I have also heard of some of your own exploits here aboard the Enterprise. You even went to Spock's rescue while you knew you were pregnant."
"Some would call that illogical and reckless," Stuvak said.
Lenore glanced at him but then to T'Pau. "Jim is my captain and best friend. Spock...is my friend and the father of my child. If I didn't do everything I could to bring them and the rest of my crew back safely, I couldn't look anyone in the eye ever again. Least of all my own child. And I had no intention of getting hurt or killed. Jim wouldn't have let that happen either."
"Or Spock?" T'Pau asked.
"He didn't know yet. I wasn't sure how to tell him." Spock looked at her a long moment, taking in her deflated nature. He found himself worried that she may not speak to him after this. It seemed as though he had a habit of upsetting her unintentionally and through unfortunate circumstances.
"Dr. McCoy is also my friend," he said, almost unintentionally out loud.
T'Pau straightened her back, eyeing him. "Friendship is not seen as logical."
Lenore looked up again and from her expression was about to argue, but Spock set a hand on her shoulder gently. "I understand that. But at the same time, I am grateful for her friendship...and the friendship of my captain and other crew members. As closely confined as we are on the ship, the minute bonds I make with my coworkers ensure an easier relationship and an atmosphere of camaraderie that results more beneficial working conditions. Dr. McCoy however is unique...she challenges me mentally but has a caring nature. Her friendship has become indispensable. I believe this also means that she will make a good mother."
The human in question looked at him in surprise, blushing more subtly before looking down. "...Thanks, Spock. That means a lot."
Spock simply nodded but felt deep inside a sense of relief that perhaps she would not remain angry with him. Looking up, he thought he saw a faint smile on his older counterpart's face behind Stuvak's more disapproving look.
T'Pau looked between them slowly before nodding again. "I see. It is logical then to maintain a close relationship with certain persons as it provides support and security needed in group situations such as these. It is understandable. However, does this mean you will abandon your beliefs?"
"No," Spock said decisively. "I am Vulcan. I practice my control daily still. However, given my personal circumstances...as well as the circumstances of our people, I feel it is logical to make a concession in the regard of my closest friends and my child. I wish to be close to them as I have already lost much." He saw Lenore smile a bit more at that from the corner of his eye, though it was a bit sad.
"Very well. You have some logical points." T'Pau rose again. "I believe that is all."
Both Lenore and Spock were surprised. "That's all?" Lenore finally asked.
"Did you expect a full interrogation, Doctor?"
"Well...yeah, kind of."
Though she did not smile in the least, Spock thought perhaps T'Pau was of all things amused. It was not as comforting a thought as it might be that even she was perhaps changed. "I wished to see what sort of woman you are, Dr. McCoy, and what sort of man Spock had become. I am satisfied with my answers. Until T'Pring is ready, I believe I will request a tour of this ship. It is rather fascinating from what I have seen so far as I had not gotten the chance to take a good look at it before. Would you recommend a guide?"
"I could guide you, T'Pau," Spock said.
"The gesture is expected, but I believe you should talk more with Dr. McCoy about what you wish to do. T'Pring is firm in her belief that you must remain bonded. You will have to decide if you truly wish to dissolve the bond and all the risks that entails. A decision such as this should not be made in the heat of a moment."
Spock nodded slowly. "I see...I shall call another to show you the ship then."
Captain Kirk, who had apparently returned after quickly getting T'Pring to whatever room he'd chosen, bowed a bit despite being a bit out of breath. "I'd be honored to show you around, my lady."
T'Pau nodded. "I would appreciate that, Captain Kirk. Soltek, Stuvak, will you join us?"
Spock the elder glanced at his younger self. "I believe I shall remain on my own for a few moments more. Please continue on without me."
"I also am not particularly interested in seeing the workings of the ship," Stuvak said simply.
"Very well. Captain Kirk, lead on." Jim smiled and nodded, casting a glance at Spock and Dr. McCoy before leading the elder woman away.
"...Interesting lady," McCoy finally said. She gave Spock a dubious look. "Why is it I seem to get along with the other members of your family but not you, hobgoblin?"
Spock's eyebrow twitched but he took the statement as McCoy perhaps trying to regain the balance of their usual conduct. There was still some heat to her words however so he knew to tread carefully. "I am unsure, Doctor."
"Hobgoblin?" Stuvak suddenly asked.
"It's just what I call him. Cause he's green and has pointy ears," she said simply. "No offense to you of course."
Stuvak frowned. "You will forgive me, but I do find it offensive. You made a similar comment to me as you barged in here. Are you always so...xenophobic?"
Spock narrowed his eyes but Lenore outright glared at him, straightening up. "I'm not xenophobic. I deal with aliens all day and I'm a damn good doctor to several different species."
"Do you refer to them by derogatory terms as well?"
"Deraga—it's not derogatory! I say it to get a rise out of him, yeah, but I don't..." She looked at Spock, her face more anxious now. "You don't take it that way, do you?"
Spock blinked. "I have grown quite accustomed to how you converse with me, Doctor." Though he intended it to be soothing she looked more upset by his words.
Stuvak looked rather detached as he eyed them. "I must confess my sympathy for you, Spock, to have mated with one so crude and unruly. Then again, perhaps you deserve her."
That caught her attention again and she glared once more, this time with more fire as she pointed a finger right in his face. "Now see here you! You've known me for five minutes so I'm not gonna put much stock in what you say anyway, but don't you go insulting me like that. For one thing, it's far ruder to say that kind of crap when you got no idea what's going on here. I got the excuse of being upset, where as I'd think a Vulcan like you would have more "control" than that. And for another, I think it betrays some kind of emotion in you to go insulting anyone like that. Where I come from, it's a sure sign of insecurity. I'm no trained psychologist but I know people."
Stuvak narrowed his eyes at her. "You are obstinate as well..."
"Damn straight. Also, I'll call Spock whatever I damn well please and it's no business of yours. Unless you two were friends or something."
The other Vulcan gave a small exhalation through his thin reedy nose. "It is illogical to make friends. Especially with one such as him."
Spock remembered once again his youth and the bullies of the school but remained calm. McCoy on the other hand had no such luck. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"He is part human," he said primly as if that explained everything.
She glared further with sneer. "You're the pot to my kettle apparently. Weren't you just admonishing me for being "xenophobic"? Apparently hypocrisy must be logical for a Vulcan to practice it so well. Or else you lack some of that precious control." Spock was unsurprised that Lenore was good at stinging words. What he was surprised at was Stuvak's reaction.
His hand reached for her shirt and fisted in the material with a look of contempt in his eyes. "Humans have an annoying habit of preaching in matters they do not comprehend fully."
Lenore glared but before she could try to get him to let go Spock's own gut reaction had him wrapping his hand around Stuvak's wrist and squeezing. He let go and Spock pushed him forward with strength that obviously surprised the other Vulcan. It had been a long time since school fights, but now he only saw the current Stuvak before him rather than his childhood bully. He squeezed more, feeling the skin bruise under his grip with satisfaction. "You. Will. Not. Touch. Her." He drew each word out in a low monotone growl, betraying the full extent of his deep anger in how he continued squeezing. No one was allowed to hurt Dr. McCoy. His older self was apparently stunned as much as the younger Vulcan, since he only stared with slightly widened eyes at the scene in front of him.
It was McCoy that came to the rescue. "Spock, knock it off! You're going to break his wrist!" She grabbed for his hand when he didn't listen, wrapping one around his own wrist and the other pressing at his hands. "Spock! Let go, dammit!"
With a slight hum in the back of his throat he finally released the other Vulcan. Lenore kept a firm grip around his wrist to be safe and he felt oddly comforted by it.
Stuvak glared more openly, hiding the bruising arm in his sleeve. "You have spent too much time among humans, Spock. You grow as violent and ill tempered as they are."
Lenore arched her eyebrows before holding up Spock's hand like a dangerous weapon. Perhaps in her mind it was. "On second thought, break his wrist. Break it a lot."
Stuvak only looked as smug as a Vulcan could. "I rest my case. I wonder Spock if your tainted blood carries that anger and pass that on to your child with this human. Or if your own whore of a mother taught you—"
Spock had learned long ago not to rise to the taunts of his peers about his heritage. He ignored them the moment the mentioned his blood or other key works and blocked them out or else risked once again coming to blows.
No one had told Lenore.
The words had barely left Stuvak's mouth before Lenore's fist connected with the Vulcan's face. Flawless form and surprising strength were packed into the blow and Spock took a moment to admire the way she actually sent his old tormentor's head reeling back sharply. He stumbled and brought his hands up, pure shock on his face as green blood began to dribble between his fingers from a now broken nose. Likely a Vulcan such as he never anticipated a human, and especially a woman, could honestly hurt him.
And Lenore was eerily the calm one now. She stared him down with her fist still ready for another strike, her eyes targeted on the Vulcan before her. Spock knew now what Lenore looked like when she was truly mad enough to not forgive someone. He was rather glad it wasn't directed at him. "Don't you dare talk about Amanda Grayson or my child like that, you ill-begot son of a snake. You're just a goddamn bully with no right to talk to Spock at all, let alone with disrespect to him and his mother like that, and I'm damn well not taking flack about my baby from you."
Stuvak glared further, moving towards her. "You insulted him as well!"
"I do it because I care about him! Big fucking difference!"
Before Spock could ask what that meant or the fight could come to further blows, Spock the elder came up behind Stuvak and grasped an area of the other Vulcan's shoulder. Stuvak's eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the ground, Lenore quickly stepping away as if he were something contagious. "Forgive me, Dr. McCoy. I had been so...engrossed in what was happening I failed to stop it sooner."
"Glad you didn't frankly, I liked punching him." She hissed as she uncurled her fingers. "Even though I think I broke my fucking hand..."
"It's possible...Vulcan bone structure is much denser than human. You acted far too recklessly," he admonished openly, narrowing his eyes.
"Excuse me? Did you hear what he said about you and your mom?"
"You are pregnant, Doctor, you should not be getting into fist fights," he said lowly.
Lenore blushed, looking upset but also chastised. "I know that! I just...I..."
"I believe I will take Stuvak to the infirmary for your staff to look over," Soltek said suddenly, kneeling down to pick the other man up despite his age. "I will also inform T'Pau of his behavior. He acted very unbecoming of a Vulcan today."
"I'll come with you," Lenore said, pointedly turning her back on Spock.
"Is your shift not over?" 'Soltek' asked with an arch of his eyebrows.
"Doesn't matter, I don't feel like talking to him now, ungrateful two timing jerkass." She jerked the thumb of her good hand back at Spock.
Spock felt his brow twitch. He chose not to comment on that description, but knew he should not let her simply walk away upset. Considering his options, he knew the one he chose would likely make her more upset than before, but he also knew he needed to resolve this now rather than wait. Waiting had not done him well this day. Coming up behind her as she moved for the door, he quickly swept her off her feet and into his arms with one arm supporting her back and the other beneath her knees.
"What the hell?" Lenore began struggling, but Spock ensured his hands locked her in his arms firmly but gently. "Spock, put me down!"
"I will treat your hand in our quarters." He looked to his older self. "I wish to speak with you later."
"I thought you might."
Spock nodded and headed out the door before him, heading for the turbolift with a still struggling Lenore. She blushed as they passed a group of confused ensigns. "Put me down, dammit! You goddamn Neanderthal!" She moved to beat on his chest but hissed again, clutching her hand.
"Doctor, please remain calm. I only wish to ensure you get proper treatment and relax after apparently stressing yourself."
She glared at him. "Whose goddamn fault is that?"
He remained silent as he came to their door, using a voice command to open it. Entering, he went to his room and set McCoy on the bed. "Please remain here. I will treat your hand."
"Spock, I was heading to sick bay, I could've-"
"Let me. Please," he added more quietly.
She stared at him before huffing and lying down. "Fine..."
Spock went to where he had put his more advanced first aid kit and pulled it over, sitting on the edge of the bed. She pointedly turned her back on him, curling up against his pillows. "Doctor, let me see your hand." She said nothing and held her hand out, luckily not resting against the mattress. He could see her knuckles were already bruised, but he felt a small amount of satisfaction at the green flecks on them. He took a cotton ball and some disinfectant and cleaned the small spots of foreign blood from her skin in mild swipes and dabs. When that was done he gently moved his fingers over the area to ascertain any damage to bones or muscles. He noted when she tensed, but she didn't utter a sound as he examined the area to see if she was in pain. "There is a moderate amount of deep bruising, and your middle knuckle may be sprained..."
"I figured..." she muttered.
"I will heal the bruising as best I can, but the sprain will need more time." He took out his dermal generator and set it to settings best for subcutaneous tissue before working it over her knuckles. "...I believe I know the answer but in an attempt to start conversation I will ask: You are still angry with me?"
She turned her head enough to glare at him and Spock thought he saw a bit of moisture on his pillow. "You saying I shouldn't be? Cause I'm willing to sprang another knuckle."
"No. However...I would like you to know that it was never my intention to hurt or anger you. This morning or with this revelation. I should've apologized for my rather foolhardy attempt to broach a topic this morning much sooner, I know. For this situation...I am admittedly lost as well. Truly I had not realized T'Pring had survived—"
"That's not an excuse and you know it," she said. "You were dating before then. I hate two-timers."
"...I understand." He rose after a moment and put his med kit back in order to be put away. "I will leave you then to rest." He moved for the door when McCoy's voice stopped him. It was quiet, but his superior hearing made it possible to hear her clearly.
"My husband cheated on me."
He stopped, blinking once as he processed the words. His head turned and he regarded her back. The strong woman that had just punched a man ten times her strength in the face suddenly seemed much smaller curled up in the middle of his bed. Illogically he wished to comfort her, but though his expertise spanned many areas, comfort was not one of them. With no other plan he walked back and sat down near her. Hesitantly he set a hand on her shoulder, feeling better when she didn't immediately try to move away. "I am sorry..." It was quiet a few moments before he breathed. "Do you wish to...vent?"
Another moment of silence passed before she began speaking again. "I wish I could say it was all his fault...he is a selfish bastard, narcissistic and dumber than a sack of hammers..."
"...I must confess confusion why you would marry such a man in the first place."
A long suffering sigh escaped her. "I wonder that a lot too...His name was Jason Curtis. We were high school sweet hearts, then broke it up, then met again on my tail end of college and got back together. Thought it was serendipitous at the time. He didn't seem so bad then...that's what I thought but I think I was just blind. He did make me feel special..." Spock found he did not like the almost wistful tone of her voice. But he only left his hand on her shoulder to provide a sense of solace.
"Something went wrong?" he asked quietly, as if to build a bubble around them even within his own room.
"Yeah...and I guess it is my fault when you get down to it." She rubbed over her eyes as if tired but he didn't think she was fatigued. "We got married just as I entered Med School. I was focused on trying to be a great doctor because I wanted to make my mama and daddy proud. Jason though thought it was expensive and time consuming and then wanted kids like a year later. He kind of pressured me but I didn't want to do have any until I finished med school at least. But the pressure...it did make me work harder. I finished early." Spock had known that of course after reading up on the important officers he would be serving with. He'd found Dr. McCoy's proficiency in med school a comforting sign despite her often capricious attitude. Now, while still impressed, he is also annoyed with the man he has never met putting such pressure on her. It was no wonder Dr. McCoy seemed to thrive in stressful situations despite her complaining, likely they had become normal for her.
"But...My father's death...it hit me hard. I'd just gotten out of med school and on my way to being a damn good doctor when it happened. I just...it was hard to handle. I started drinking a bit too much and too often...I got distant from everyone..."
Spock hesitated before reaching up and stroking her hair. His mother had often done this to comfort him when he was young. "Grief is...difficult to deal with. I admire the strength you have gained from it."
Lenore laughed quietly, but it didn't sound light or happy. It was almost bitter. "Don't think I'd put it that way. But that's not the point I'm trying to make here. My point is Jason and I became pretty toxic. Lots of shouting, lots of hurtful words...Then I realized I hated who I was becoming, so I did try to get back on track. Tried to be more romantic and all that. Then I found out Jason had been seeing some little girl barely outta high school behind my back," she growled. "Knowing he cheated hurt so much...knowing it was a younger woman hurt more. Felt like a goddamn slap in the face. Then the coups de gras punch in the gut so to speak: he got her pregnant."
Spock attempted to keep his mental shields up and strong, but he could feel waves of negativity rolling off of her. Anger, sorrow, insecurity and more. It was a mixture that even made him sick in his stomach. "...I wish I had words to convey...anything that would comfort you."
She eyed him before turning away again. "I appreciate the thought, Spock, but you don't see the damn correlation? How alike this is to then? Except now I'm the damn other woman and I hate it!" She punched at his pillows, breathing deeply at a twinge of pain. "I never wished those feelings on anyone. I almost didn't pull out of the downward spiral I fell into. I barely fought in the divorce, just let Jason take his damn assets and fuck away with the hussy. Drank more, stopped caring about my appearance...Frankly if I hadn't gotten into Starfleet and met Jim I'd be hell of a lot worse off. He at least brought me a little back up."
"...You feel sympathy for T'Pring," Spock interpreted.
"Yeah...I do."
He nodded slightly, more to himself. "I...understand I think. But please understand, our bond was not through our own choice. It was an arrangement between our families."
She turned then and Spock's brow furrowed to see her eyes were a bit watery as if she had been attempting not to openly cry. "I don't get that...I know it might be a culture thing, and I'm trying not to be disrespectful I swear, but were you really engaged at seven?"
Spock nodded. "Yes. As I said, it is a tradition that is in place to ensure stability and survivability...I would explain more, but it is a private matter even among Vulcans. It is not certain if I will even be subjected to this ordeal. If the time should come, I will tell you. Is that acceptable?"
Lenore frowned, obviously not thrilled. "I'd like a little more give after baring my goddamn scars to you, but fine..."
Spock turned that statement over in his mind thoughtfully. "...My father admitted he married my mother because he loved her. This was after we had lost her though."
Lenore's face eased into worry and sympathy. "Spock, I didn't mean—"
He placed a hand on her forehead, silencing her. "My father's original bondmate had not survived a trauma in youth...He had said his union with my mother was logical as he was the ambassador to Earth. I believed him...and I believed then that my love for my mother was illogical because of this and our beliefs. I sought to push it as far down as I could." He closed his eyes. "Regret is also seen as illogical. This makes apologies difficult...but my greatest regret, second to not being able to save her, is not letting her know how much she truly meant to me. And I can never make amends now."
McCoy stared up at him for a moment before she sat up. Spock thought perhaps she was bringing their time talking to a close but was surprised when her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Her body was cool against him even in her uniform and though he remained still as stone she seemed to mould into him. It was a disturbingly pleasant sensation. "She knew," she said quietly but with a surety that he admired. "I'm sure she knew. It must've been hard to be without her son, but I think she was real proud of you and just hoped you'd be happy. I would be."
Spock felt a tightness in his core and in his throat that threatened to consume him, but he breathed deeply to keep it at bay. "...Thank you." He meant it. From a very deep place inside him before he pushed it further away.
She pulled back, searching his eyes before sitting fully back so they faced one another. "...So you don't want to stay with this T'Pring girl? She is quite a looker..."
Spock moved with her dodge, well aware that McCoy herself was sometimes not good with emotion. The revelations from earlier brought him some understanding of this. "Aesthetically she is pleasing. However, I find no personal connection with her."
McCoy arched her eyebrows. "So you agree she's hot...but you don't like her personality? Does she have a personality as a Vulcan?" The last was a bit more teasing than serious and Spock felt somewhat relieved that she was attempting her sarcastic humor.
"That is an accurate summation. When we were young, she wished to have no contact with me prior to and after the ceremony that started our bond. She found my being half human distasteful, our arrangement more so. I believe it was seen as an insult that she should have to marry someone inferior." Lenore frowned but he went on before she could say anything. "She admitted to me that when the time to make a full bond came she would challenge it in favor of another she cared for who was among the casualties."
"Oh, so that can happen?" she asked curiously, but still looked troubled.
"Yes. I would have had to battle this rival to the death."
Brown eyes widened and she gaped at him. "To the death? What the hell?"
"The incident I mentioned is a time of great stress, it would not happen any other way."
Lenore made several noises of discontent before she glared sourly. "I will drop that. For now. But I will say this: a duel to the death is pretty fucking barbaric for such an 'advanced' race." Spock's eyebrow twitched. "But you said she would make you do this challenge thing before...what changed, aside from her guy being gone? Why does she want to get with you now?"
Spock shook his head. "I am uncertain. She has listed many logical reasons, including my bolstered reputation, but I find I am not swayed or completely believe them. But whatever her reasons, my own inclinations have not changed. I see her as barely an acquaintance and our bond is weak enough I have rarely if ever noticed its presence."
"So that means you could sleep around?" she asked in a deadpanned tone.
Spock sighed quietly through his nose. "In a way, but please bare in mind that we obviously have ways around our proposed pairing should we wish it. The bond is I suppose you could say a contingency plan. The time of stress can be fatal to us due to many biological factors. We are allowed to explore our options before then in case we find another willing and more compatible. In which case I would also be able to challenge the bond at any time I chose and should she agree it would be dissolved."
She frowned but finally crossed her arms. "Hmph...Fine, that actually does sound logical..."
His lips twitched but then he turned thoughtful. "Though T'Pring states we could build a stronger bond with one another, I cannot foresee myself being content with her given our pasts..."
Lenore was quiet before nodding a little. "I get it. You don't love her—don't fucking argue with me right now about emotions or I will kick you in the...never mind, that probably wouldn't do me any good given your damn anatomy. But my point is, you don't think you'd be happ...content with her ever?"
Spock nodded slowly. "That is my belief. I have no attraction to her now so I can't say I would believe it would come later when I have no intention of returning to the colony with her."
Lenore looked surprised before seeming to suddenly become calm and even smile a real smile. She put her good hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "I understand. As much as I still feel for a girl in her situation, you're my friend." She grinned and he flushed, knowing now she would not let him forget his admission from before. "And since I'm your friend, I want you to be happy. Whatever the hell that means for you. So do what you gotta do. Just...let her down easy, okay? Or as easy as you can. She's already been through a lot too."
Spock nodded softly. "I understand...your support is appreciated."
A small red tinge came to her cheeks and she looked down. "...You're welcome."
Lenore felt raw inside and out. Mostly within. It felt as though someone had taken sand paper to her heart until it exposed the old wounds she had tried to cover up. Seeing Spock with T'Pring had hurt more than she ever wanted to admit, thinking to herself that they made a good looking couple. She had spoken without thinking to keep them from touching. From there she'd gotten angrier and more ashamed. This made her angrier at being ashamed.
The only consolation was Spock saying that he did care for her. It was as a friend he said, but hearing him admit feelings in general at anytime was a slight accomplishment in her book. Still, her anger at him didn't leave. The only thing to help that was getting angry at someone else.
In that sense Stuvak had helped Spock. She hadn't liked him from the start with how hoity-toity he seemed, but the moment he insulted Spock and his mother in one breath, all bets were off. It was worth a few bruises and a sprained knuckle to put that look of shock on his face and possibly bust his nose. Spock didn't seem grateful though and so she was pissed at him once again. More so because he was right that she shouldn't be getting into fights while pregnant. She didn't want to admit that. Or that when Spock had swept her off her feet her heart had done a pleasant trip up her throat and back.
Finally dredging up the whole messy affair (no pun intended) of her divorce had been the hardest thing. She hadn't spoken about it since Jim had hidden her wedding ring one year around her anniversary. Though pissed, she eventually forgave him and they went out drinking, which ended up in Lenore drinking a bit too much and being taken home by Jim. She'd drunkenly spilled out everything to the younger man as he tucked her into bed. To his credit, her best friend just comforted her, said that Jason was an ass and told her to get some rest. Confessing while drunk was easier since the alcohol masked the pain at the moment, and the hangover masked the pain later. Now she felt sober and exposed, like wounded prey.
Spock though had seemed to understand or at least try to. His calm demeanor actually comforted her in a way. Like it wasn't a big deal. Maybe to him it wasn't. She'd in turned listened as he talked about his mother and tried to comfort him the best way she knew despite knowing he wasn't the touchy-feely sort. He hadn't pushed her away though. She then listened as he talked about how he didn't feel anything for T'Pring...and had to admit that banished a large weight in her stomach and on her back, leaving her lighter and dare she say happy. It was hard to admit she was jealous, but she'd already had to admit to herself and Jim (and possibly Uhura, but she was always sharp) that Spock was special to her. Annoying, but special.
"I believe I should meditate before I meet with T'Pring again. I need to consider how best to convince her to stop should she continue to argue."
"Alright. Um, you want me to return to my room?"
"...You may if you desire. I would not be objectionable to you resting here, so long as you rest. I think you have been stressed enough for the day. You deserve to relax. And I have more confidence you would do so here than with the distractions of paper work you would find in your room," he added dryly.
Lenore flushed and glared at him, but inside an annoying part of her was saying to take the deal. She hadn't been in Spock's room since that night more three months ago, and that wasn't even technically this room. She was more annoyed with her weakness than Spock but she used it to her advantage. "Okay, just for that, I will steal your damn bed." She flopped back down, arms still folded. Spock simply nodded and rose, moving to gather some things. "Uh, what...?"
"I will meditate in the common area so as to not disturb you. The smoke from the incense would not hurt you I believe, but I would rather not risk it."
She flushed, alternately in disappointment and being affected by those words. It's for the baby, you swooning ninny! She told herself that and nodded. "Okay..."
Spock nodded. "Rest well." The words were soft and again made her blush. He turned and exited, letting the door close behind him. Lenore groaned quietly and curled up on her side again. Was it good to be in love with someone you constantly found yourself berating and getting angry with? She couldn't honestly think so. But taking a deep breath, she breathed in the scent of Spock on his bed. It was spicy and sweet and smoky, partially from that incense she thought, but it wasn't bad. It was like breathing in deeply from a box of mixed green and red tea leaves. The scent was oddly soothing and she felt a small sad smile grow before she began to drift off.
LINE
Spock meditated for an hour, his mind pulled back deep into himself. He ensured his control was in check, his shields up and strong. He could subtly detect the bond to T'Pring, but he guarded himself from that as well. It was not strong enough she could likely even hear his thoughts but he had no desire to test it even in curiosity. While there was logic in keeping the bond for that vast "what if" of the future, in the long run he saw it as more detrimental than beneficial for both of them. He hoped he was right.
Standing, he extinguished the incense and candles and put them in his box. He moved to return them to his room but paused. He knew Dr. McCoy was likely asleep and didn't want to disturb her rest. Part of him said he could be quiet though and likely not disturb her, but that seemed illogical. Thinking over it a moment he turned back and set the box on the table of the common room. He then left their quarters in search of a certain other.
Spock the Elder was resting at a table in the rec room three, apparently enjoying a cup of herbal tea. He looked up as Spock entered as if he expected him. "Hello, Commander Spock."
Spock nodded to him, casting a glance about. "I would like to speak with you now if it is acceptable."
"Of course." He rose, finishing his tea. "Shall we adjourn somewhere more private?"
He nodded and turned to leave. "I believe one of the observation decks should be free. I trust you know where it is." The older man didn't answer, instead following him to the deck. Outside the stars moved by them slowly, the Enterprise keeping a leisurely pace beside the ship that had brought the Vulcans. It was a newer ship that had been donated to further the cause of the Vulcan Colonists. "I have wondered what all of you were doing traveling here. Was it merely to meet with me?"
"No. We are on our way to meet with members of a planet who have offered to look into replicating certain Vulcan animal species. Not Gorns of course, as they are too dangerous, but Sehlats have become desired...something more of our old life to hold on to as we move on I suppose."
Spock nodded slowly, remembering his own childhood pet as he was sure his counterpart was. "I see. That would be most fortuitous. But that is not my main question."
"I rather thought not." He sat down on the bench before the huge window and relaxed. "I'm sure you must have many. Sit. We will discuss as much as possible."
The younger half-Vulcan did so, keeping his eyes on him. "...I am uncertain where to start. I suppose the question that comes to me first is whether this happened in your timeline?"
Elder Spock shook his head. "It did not. Dr. McCoy was indeed a dear friend of mine, one of my best friends I suppose you could say, but we were never physically involved. Harakel was not even visited by us but by the USS Intrepid."
"...which was lost in the Narada incident," Spock said quietly.
"Yes. So I'm afraid I can't help you with this situation. I'm not sure if I would if I could as this is a your own experience. In away, I envy you."
Spock blinked looking at him. "...You never had children?"
"I did not. It is an experience I was always remiss not to have, but had accepted."
Spock nodded slowly. "I see. I am..."
The elder held up his hand. "I understand. This is not my time line so of course things are different, and I cannot change my own past now. Instead, please know you and Dr. McCoy have my support. I would be honored if you would allow me to help whenever possible."
He nodded again, feeling more at ease. "I find that to be acceptable. You should likely talk to Dr. McCoy as well though."
"I had hoped to before we left."
"She's resting now."
"Ah yes...I did receive a small amount of satisfaction at witnessing her breaking Stuvak's nose. Most impressive."
Spock's lips twitched. "Indeed. I have another question however."
"Yes?"
"Did you...go through Pon Farr?" his cheeks tinged he knew, but he thought this would be beneficial to be aware of.
"You truly wish to know?"
"Yes. While I am still firm in my decision of what to do regarding my bond with T'Pring, I am still...uneasy of this possibility."
The elder regarded him with a slight knit to his brow. "I see...I will tell you then that I did go through it. It was several years from now, but the timeline is already far different from mine."
Spock tried not to show the dread that came through him at that knowledge. "I...see. Then I suppose you went through with the bonding with T'Pring."
"No, I did not." A small twitch went through the wrinkled lips as the younger Vulcan's head whipped up.
"You did not? But..."
"In truth, it was because of James Kirk I made it through." He blinked at the horrified widened eyes his counterpart gave him. Spock's mind had immediately gone to some disturbing places of what that phrase meant, trying to bury phantom images as quickly as they came. "...I believe I should better explain as you appear to be letting your imagination overtake you. When the time came, I managed to convince the Captain Kirk of my world to go to Vulcan that I may meet with T'Pring. However, she envoked the ka-li-fee."
Spock tried to relax despite racy images of his Captain still attempting to scar his mind. "She said she would...you had to fight Stonn then?"
"No. T'Pring is a surprisingly cunning strategist, so I warn you not to underestimate her. She chose Captain Kirk as my opponent." Spock's eyes widened again, all disturbing thoughts forgotten. "In my state I could barely object and we did fight. I was the victor...but upon thinking I killed my Captain, the plak-tow receded in the shock and I no longer required to bond."
"You killed-"
The elder held up another hand. "Please wait. I did not in fact kill Jim." Spock's brow ticked at the use of the first name but eased back. "T'Pring is a surprisingly great strategist, but Dr. McCoy more so. She injected the captain with a time released sedative in the guise of a tri-ox compound to make up for his disadvantages in Vulcan's atmosphere. When I attempted to garrote the captain, he passed out into a death like state and thus shocked me into my senses again. Because I won I gave T'Pring to Stonn as I could not forgive her for this, but she revealed this was part of her strategy. She did not want Stonn killed, so she chose the captain believing that should I die, she would not have me to deal with and the Captain would not want her. Should he die, I would let her out of her commitment to me or else be gone again to Starfleet while she still had Stonn."
"A...logical if cold strategy," he admitted.
"Indeed. Later, I went to Dr. McCoy in order to resign and put myself in the brig for murder. However, she had already revived the Captain after beaming him aboard." His lips twitched again. "My relief at that Jim did not die was evident, I admit now. You can understand why he was one of my greatest friends. Dr. McCoy as well."
Spock nodded slowly, thinking over everything he said. "Indeed...a well done strategy." Dr. McCoy is full of surprises...
"In any case, my time line is not yours. As things stand, I do not believe anything like that will happen. Make your own life, but remember that James Kirk and Dr. McCoy are both friends to value highly. I feel now that to you Dr. McCoy may even rank higher."
Spock blushed a deep green in surprised but quickly composed himself. He thought that over more and looked down in silent admission. "Perhaps..."
About two hours after she laid down, Lenore awoke with her head buried in the pillows, her arms cuddling one and feeling better rested than she had in a long time. Blushing despite no witness, she rose and stretched with a yawn. She then took a moment to look around Spock's room since she never really had before. Minimalist had been her expectation she knew, nothing frivolous or illogical. And for the most part it was, but she could see a few surprises. A few knick knacks, things like an old astrolabe and telescope, and even old books and scrolls were on his shelves. Lenore walked over to look and tilted her head when she saw a red stone the size of her thumbnail in a surprisingly prominent place. Hesitantly she picked it up and looked it over. Is this...oh...it's the last bit of Vulcan... She wondered how he found it, how it felt when he did and carefully set it back down with a sad look. She looked over the spines of the books, many written in languages she didn't understand, and followed them away to the corner where something else took her attention.
She knelt down and looked over what appeared to be a kind of harp. Huh...I didn't know Spock played an instrument... Biting her lip, she reached out and hefted it with a grunt. Heavy. Pulling it to the side, she moved a finger over the strings, expecting a lovely melodic sound, only to wince at several sour notes. Don't think he's tuned it in a long time... That was sad. When she was young she'd had a guitar she loved to play. Taught herself and sometimes thought she'd be a great music star. Then medicine captured her heart and she wanted to help people. But her guitar had been a source of calm and enjoyment until it had disappeared. She was still sure Jason had done something with it but never proved it. But she wondered why Spock had apparently stopped all together.
Putting the harp back she stood and shook her head. I shouldn't be snooping. I should go...maybe check in at sick bay; I think I need a walk to clear my head. She went to the bathroom to wash her face to wake her up then headed out to the common area. Spock was no longer there, and he had cleaned up after himself, but she could still smell the smoky incense in the air. She quickly went out the door before she let it distract her and headed for sick bay. Walking in, she was immediately greeted by the sight of a still unconscious Stuvak in a bed in the corner and a very sheepish looking Scotty on another bed holding a burned hand.
"Ah, Doctor! Good to see ye."
McCoy smiled as she walked up. "You too, but I don't like the looks of that hand."
"Ach, I know doctor, but I've had worse really. Was me own fault I admit though, was just waiting for one of the nurses to finish up."
"I can treat you real quick," she said, pulling her stool over to sit in front of him. "Let me see." She took his hand gently and looked it over. "Not too bad, but looks painful."
Scotty smiled. "Aye, it stings, but like I said I've had worse."
"What did you do this time?" she asked, grabbing a generator.
"Well, the captain brought that Vulcan lady, T'Pau down to Engineering and I was showing off some of the Enterprise's best features. She was quite sharp, I kind of like the old girl. Reminds me of my gran. But anyway, I was in the middle of showing them around when some blasted fool looked up from fixing the damn power couplings and let his torch slip. And I, acting on instinct, caught it. On the bad end. Luckily it shut off automatically and cooled a bit by the fall, but it still smarted so the Captain sent me up."
"How long ago was this?"
"Oh not long. Apparently that T'Pau lady likes detail so it's taken them a while to work through the ship."
Lenore chuckled. "Jim seems okay?"
"Aye. Believe it or not I think he gets along with her pretty well."
"Jim the 'I don't like anyone's authority but my own' Captain of the Enterprise?"
Scotty chuckled. "I know. But I think he's doing well. ...Speaking of doing well, how are you doing lassie?"
Lenore looked up at him, blinking. "Um...fine?"
"Really? Cause...I heard you heard about Spock's fiancée, of which I heard of too."
She blushed before focusing back on his hand. "Ah...well...It was upsetting I'll admit, but Spock explained a few things. Basically it was an arrangement he didn't really agree to and he intends to get out of it."
Scotty's eyes widened. "Really? My...this is better than an Orion soap opera!"
She flattened her eyes at him. "Scotty..."
"Sorry, sorry. But ye and the Commander are on good terms?"
She paused before nodding slightly. "I'd say so."
"Glad to hear that!" He grinned. "I was worried there. I know the two of ye get along better than ye want to admit but this could've been bad. I'm glad ye worked it out though cause I think you two are good together."
Lenore blushed in surprise but chose not to say anything. She shut down the generator and stood. "You're almost good to go. You'll still be a little sore so don't do anything too strenuous. I'll get you a couple of medium painkillers, wait here." She stood and headed for her office. Opening her locked cabinet with an ultra secure code and scan, she looked through for the right pain killer.
When a hand grabbed her roughly by the back of the neck she gasped.
a/n: I'm somewhat enjoying evil endings lately...