CHAPTER TEN
I opened my eyes to the dark sky that was slightly hidden by the tall trees. I couldn't recall exactly what happened, but this feeling of disorientation could only mean one thing. I had died, again.
No matter how long I thought on it, I couldn't remember anything. There was just this lingering pain that squeezed my chest and an overall feeling of defeat. I was tired. My body ached, my head ached, my heart ached. I didn't want to do this anymore.
Throughout the night. I felt a variety of small critters passing over my body. It was uncomfortable, but I wasn't in the mainframe to fully care. They were all going to come and go. They were going to live and die – a natural cycle that took hold of everything in the universe.
I didn't sleep that night. There was too much on my mind. I especially hated when it triggered the image of him. He looked at the blonde with so much care and worry. I was sure that he had also held her in the same fashion.
"No more…" I whispered into the darkness, verbally urging the mental torment to cease. I didn't think that anything could be as unbearable as being burned alive, but clearly, I was mistaken. This was so much worse. He was like a plague that constantly affected me. I couldn't live a single moment without him haunting me. There was nowhere I could go to protect myself.
When morning came and went, so did I.
I didn't know how long this went on for, but days must've gone by. I remembered very little of each, short timeframe I had with living. I just knew that each time I woke up, I was in a slightly different location, but that as typical. I never woke up at the same location. It was always a headache getting back into my corner of the alley, especially with no clothes on. It was a miracle that I hadn't been arrested for public indecency, yet.
Now, it didn't matter. I didn't have anywhere to go and unless I found shelter for the day, I would keep burning. It simply wasn't' worth the effort anymore. I was going to allow whatever power that governed my dead body to take me where it wanted to go. Maybe I'll eventually fall off a cliff, break all my bones, and die of blood loss. Would I finally be rid of this life, then? I had never tried taking my own life before. There was just this other part of me that kept chanting, "Just another day. You can die any time you want, but living takes effort." Somehow, that had gotten me going for all nineteen years of my life. Somehow, that had been enough. Or maybe… I was afraid to know what would happen if I tired.
It was difficult to keep clinging on to my little mantra, now. I found myself falling just a little further into the darkness every day. I really wanted to do it for my mother who never had a chance to live out her own life. She had died so young. She had died thinking that she was alone with no family, only a stranger to hold her hand. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be alone when I died. I wanted to be held and loved. I wanted to know what that felt like.
I scoffed at my own desperation. How could I possibly long for something I never knew? It didn't make any sense. Not as if any aspect of my life was normal.
I closed my eyes when the sun hit them. It was mind-numbingly painful, but at least, this was faster. I hated dying feet first. It simply took too long to die.
When I next woke, I was in a different place – a familiar place that I never thought I would return to, with a familiar face that I never thought I was going to see. As he looked at me, I was reminded of how beautiful he was.
"Madison…"
"Hi, Jimmy," I smiled at him. This was an unexpected dream. I couldn't recall that last time I had done that. It was so nice. I didn't want it to end, or maybe I was really dead this time. Did God give me the face of an angel I wanted most? That was nice. I wished I had actually believed in them when I was living. Would He let me see my mother?
I really missed her.
I sighed when a gloved hand touched my face. I could feel the heat radiating off him. He was so warm. If this was a dream, he wouldn't mind if I held him, right?
Just this once…
Reaching up, I touched his feather-soft hair and gently pulled him down. His lips felt heavenly against my own and when he deepened the motion, I knew that this wasn't reality. It was disappointing, but if this was all I could get, I'd take it.
The bed began to dip when I felt him shift above me. One leg brushed across stomach and he supported the rest of his body with his elbows. His hair tickled my nose.
A hand tugged the blanket off and I felt his skin on mine. When had he taken off his shirt? It didn't matter. His gloved hand brushed my nipples and clutched on to my breasts. A gentle squeeze made me moan. He was just as passionate as he was before, but gentler. He touched me as if I was going to break at any moment.
"Madison," he mumbled against my lips.
I ground my hip against his and felt a sizeable bulge that rubbed back against me. "Please…"
He broke away and worked fervently on his jeans. When the leather gloves got caught in the zipper, he pulled them off, cursing under his breath. He tugged at the small metal piece until it finally came loose and he threw the denim fabric away. Just as he was about to touch me, he froze, staring between the hand and me with a look akin to fear. Was he truly bothered by them?
I wrapped my fingers around his wrist before sliding them to his fused digits. He tried to jerk away, but I held on tight. No more hiding. That was what I wanted and since this was my dream, no one was going to stop me.
I pressed his hand against my chest. He was even warmer without all the fabric around us and despite its abnormal appearance, his fingers were agile and danced along my skin as he grew more and more confident.
He trailed them down my body and brushed against my sensitive bud. I let out a quiet whimper, buckling into his hand. "Stop teasing me…"
I brushed his hair back to see his eyes darkened with lust. This was exactly how I liked to see him looking back at me.
With a smile, I brought his face back down and he hungrily devoured me. I would gladly let him do anything he wished.
"Don't leave me, again," he whispered. "You don't understand what you've done to me."
The feeling was mutual. He incited something frightening from within me, but all I wanted to do was embrace it. I ran my hand down his body and felt his toned muscles twitch and tense.
"I can't… I won't be able to hold back if you don't stop me, now," he told me, clenching his eyes shut. I could feel a slight tremour in his body.
"I need you, Jimmy. I don't want you to stop. I don't ever want you to stop," I breathed, softly crying out when he brushed his groin against mine. "Take me. I'm yours." There was nothing but truth in my words. It felt right. I felt complete with him against me. It didn't matter if I was imagining everything. It didn't matter if I was dead or going crazy. I just knew that I belonged to him and nothing was going to take him away from me.
He shifted and I felt the searing head brush against my entrance.
"Now!" I groaned, trying my hardest to get him to move and stop teasing me, but he chuckled, holding my hips with his long hands. "Jimmy!"
"Say it. Say it, Madi."
"Take me, Jimmy. Make me yours," I begged.
He surged forward with a groan as I tried to will away the pain that was ripping into me. He was too big. Was he tearing me in two?
"I'm sorry. I'll get off. I – " His eyes were wide when my face scrunched up.
"No!" I shouted, holding him close with my hands and wrapping my legs around his waist. "No, please. I'm alright. Just give me some time. Don't leave me."
My lips trembled and tears began to well up in my eyes. I couldn't explain why I was feeling this way. All I knew was that whatever I had suppressed in this entire time was starting to leak out and it felt as if it was going to explode out of me. "I'm sorry… I don't know what's wrong with me."
Instead of laughing at my sudden ridiculous behaviour, he held me close until the horrible feeling retreated and all I could feel was his body pressed so closely to mine. "I'm never letting you go, Madi. You're safe here. You're safe with me."
Of course, I was. I smiled. In here, no one can hurt me.
With a content sigh, I wiggled my hip and let out a muffled moan when he slowly slid out inch by inch. Each movement touched somewhere that left me begging for more.
He pulled out until only the tip was still inside me before plunging back in. 'Jimmy!" I cried out, throwing my head back.
I had never felt this way about anyone before. My heart felt as if it was going to burst out of my chest, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was overwhelmingly exciting.
We moved together for most of the night before he fell asleep behind me. His warm breath brushed against my ears.
I laid there for hours, afraid if I went to sleep now, I was going to wake up back in the forest, or worse, back with Dandy. If I could, I would stay awake forever just to remain here in his arms. I wasn't' ready for this to be over, yet. I wasn't ready to lose him to the pretty fortune teller. I hadn't even had the chance to tell him how I felt, but… what was I feeling?
I shifted my body to have a better look at him. His lashes were so long. I was jealous.
My fingers ghosted down his face and stopped at his heart. The gentle thuds were barely noticeable. Had it raced for me when we were…
What were we?
Had we made love? Or was it just sex?
I shook my head. It was what I wanted it to be, right? I was the one in control here… So why didn't it feel that way? All of this, it wasn't my life. This didn't happen to people like me.
I buried my face into his chest. I couldn't lose him. He was the only one who ever made me feel. I wouldn't be able to go back to how things were before.
"What's wrong?" I heard him groan, groggily. "A-are you crying?"
I shook my head.
"Then why is my chest wet? Why is your face wet?" He seemed genuinely confused at first before pushing my shoulders back, but I stubbornly looked away. "Madison, look at me."
"Madi," I mumbled back.
"What?"
"I like it when you call me Madi," I quietly told him, flushing at how silly and childish that sounded. What was I? Five? I had always been Madison. Why would it change, now? "You don't have to. Sorry – "
"Madi, I like it." He smiled, but his eyes turned sad as things became serious, again. "Tell me why you were crying."
I shook my head, again.
He frowned before rolling on top of me. "Tell me you're not going back to sleep tonight."
My heart skipped a beat. I was fine with that. I was more than fine with that. To show this to him, I shifted our bodies until we were one.
He buckled his hips in shock, groaning. "You're going to be the end of me."
This time, he was rough. He took and took what I freely and happily gave to him. And this time, I couldn't prevent the pull of absolute fatigue from disarming me.
When I next regained consciousness, there was a part of me that dreaded opening my eyes. When I was in that forest, I had spent several days just lying there with my eyes closed. I was tempted to do the same this time, if only to preserve the dream I had. It was so rare – so precious. I was scared that if I died again, I would forget it. I would lose him, again.
It wasn't until the warmth around me began to move did I open my eyes. They popped open so quickly that the light burned, but I couldn't stop staring at the pale flesh in front of me.
Was I still dreaming?
"This isn't a dream, Madi." I looked up to see Jimmy staring down at me with soft eyes.
Had I spoken aloud?
"If it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up. You don't know what it was like when I thought you were gone forever," he whispered. "When I said that I was never going to let you go, I meant it. You're stuck with me, now."
My eyes watered.
…
He watched in horror as his words seemed to have a negative effect on her. Had he been reading it all wrong? He should've known that Madi was too good for him.
He had just hoped that –
She smashed her lips against his and he could feel the desperation radiating off her. Her entire body was pressed against him. HE groaned, feeling her soft flesh harden him.
"Do you promise?" she whispered, breaking away from his lips.
"Hm?" His head was a ball of fuzz and all the blood had already rushed downward.
"Do you promise to never leave me?" she asked again, eyes wide.
"I promise," he eagerly replied, leaning down for another kiss, but she moved away.
"Not even for her?"
Her words confused his already distracted brain. Why was she being so difficult? Didn't she understand how he felt? Couldn't she feel it? What was she even talking about? "There's no one who can tear us apart. I promise."
"Good." She nodded with satisfaction. "I never knew jealousy until I saw you with her and it's so silly because we weren't even together, then."
He tightened his arms around her waist. There was a surge of guilt, telling him that he had been the fool. He should never have ran from her. She should never have tried to force those feelings towards a different woman. He nearly lost Madi without admitting to himself how much she actually frightened him.
In fact, she still did. Those feelings continued to run rampant from within and he didn't know how to control them. Where she was concerned, there was no seeing reason.
Eventually, he decided that he'd just have to deal with it because the alternative was simply unthinkable.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Happy Fathers' Day to any fathers who are probably not reading this story… Just out of curiosity… ARE there any fathers here?
Anyway, this chapter definitely didn't turn out as planned, but I hope you guys don't hate it! I know that it's a little unorthodox the way I got them back together.
Fun Fact: We should only be on Chapter Eight according to my initial outline… There was only supposed to be around 18 Chapters, but I don't think that will be the case, anymore.
I'm also most likely going to post another chapter into V, so keep an eye out for it!
Thank you HerOverYonder, Bumblebee1013, Cosmo39, Mystery Angle, NameWithNoMeaning, Idiaz054, Applejax XD, guests (Lizzy B, anonymouscsifan, Laurel, Jean, Guest, AuroraSeven, DaisyChain).
Lizzy B: I'm so happy you like the ones in Jimmy's POV! I always wonder if you guys like me switching between Madi to Jimmy (or any Evan Peters characters) sometimes! I'll be sure to include more in the future.
HerOverYonder: Teehee! The ship is saaaiillliiinggg! When it will sink, nobody knows~!
Bumblebee1013: Is this together enough for you? Ahaha!
anonymouscsifan: I intended to put the explanation in V before, but since that story is going a little slower than I expected, I'll include it in this story… at some point. When I first gave Madi her quirk in this story, it started with photosensitivity, but then it slowly evolved into a Phoenix- inspired theme. Jimmy grovelling will come soon (*foreshadow*foreshadow*). I'll let you draw your own predictions for that. I find the twins likeable in some ways, yet detestable in others… I can't decide if I like them or not, so it'll show in this story. And Maggie I definitely don't like.
Cosmo39: Loopy Madi! Not too much happening in this chapter. Sorry! But it'll pick right up again, soon! I thought I'd just give you guys a little break before it spirals off.
Mystery Angle: Hope you're still alive! The next chapter is hereee!
NameWithNoMeaning: Oooh! Congratulations! I hope your graduation celebration was great! I haaaate heat waves, but it's quite cold here I live and I'm typically cold in general, so I still use two duvets when I sleep. Jimmy admitting feelings‼ I think he's really coming to terms with the bundle of emotions that's inside of him and all the confusion when he's with Madi.
Laurel: There will be more angst to come later! Teehee…
Jean: I'm definitely thinking of a permanent stage name for her right now, but I'm also contemplating whether she should be part of the show or not. Everything's up in the air… I don't even know why I bother with initial outlines.
Guest: Thank you‼ More will come, soon!
Idiaz054: I'm so happy that you like this story! More Madi and Jimmy to come!
AuroraSeven: I had to include Maggie's rejection somewhere. I just wasn't sure how to incorporate it until the time came because I didn't want Jimmy to actually have feelings for her in my story.
Applejax XD: Madi's baaaaack!
DaisyChain: I think this chapter was intense in a way that you didn't quite expect… In Alien Covenant… I can't believe they didn't wear suits when they went on the foreign planet‼ It's so silly! And it all spiralled down from there. Grr… But David definitely saved the movie from being a bit of a flop for me. I'm slowly writing a one-shot for him right now… Might turn into a mini story, but I'm not sure yet. I haven't gotten much done.
Thank you as well to everyone who has favourited and followed this story!
Please drop a review if you liked this chapter. It'll really make my day!