Chapter 10 Now We Sound The Drums Of War
Disclaimer I don't own Family Guy and also this chapter contains a few musical numbers.
That night in the room that Peter and Lois were sleeping in Lois was tossing and turning in her sleep clearly having a nightmare.
Lois woke up suddenly as she heard footsteps slowly walking across the living room floor. Lois quietly got out of bed and made her way towards the door. She then slowly opened the door and suddenly heard a door being slammed opened followed by a terrified scream that sounded high pitched and had a British accent to it. Lois then ran into the living room just in time to see Helen run out the door while carrying Stewie.
"STEWIE NO." Lois screamed out in horror.
She then chased after the mad woman and was so far keeping up with her. Lois then chased Helen up onto the roof. Helen then walked to the edge and turned around to face Lois her face was shadowy and her eyes were glowing red.
"You failed red." Helen said in a demonic and distorted voice. Now me and Stewie will be together forever.
She then jumped off the roof and pulled the trigger on her pistol. Lois's eyes were blinded by a white flash.
Lois bolted up in bed screaming in terror and sweating.
Oh thank god it was just a nightmare. Lois stated.
Peter then grunted as he woke up yawning.
"Uh what's the matter Lois?" Peter mumbled.
Peter then put his glasses on and put a hand on his wife's shoulder.
"Oh Peter. Lois whimpered in a panicked voice. "I just had a nightmare.
Peter then chuckled slightly.
"Oh well you're not going to let a nightmare spook you are you?" He asked.
"But Peter Helen came in here and took Stewie. Lois muttered while letting a few tears fall down. I tried chasing after her but she shot me and jumped off the roof with him."
Peter then hugged Lois.
"It's ok Lois Stewie's safe in the crib he's sleeping in and besides Helen has her army with her I doubt she'd just Abanden them to come after Stewie."
"But Peter what if she does come on her own?" Lois questioned. "And takes Stewie away from right under our noses."
"She won't Lois." Peter replied. "Look what I'm trying to say is I know I'm not the best husband or dad in the whole wide world and I know I've made tons of mistakes over the years but I do know this. You can't let this fat crazy pig bitch beat you she's saying these things just to scare you and you're letting her win. Now the Lois Griffin I know would never let a selfish manipulative monster beat her.
Lois then sighed
"I gauss you're right." She said.
"No Lois I know I'm right." Peter stated. "I mean you've never let anything stop you before. When that woman from Child services came and took Stewie away because of Meg's stupidity did you give up."
"No." Lois replied.
"When those burglers broke into our house and shot you after harming you and Meg did you give up." Peter stated.
"No." Lois replied.
"And finnaly Lois who was it that made me realise that I wasn't a woman and who was it that helped me realise that smoking was bad and the new people running the Toy Factory were evil?" Peter asked.
"Me." Lois said in a slightly determined voice.
"Exactly Lois." Peter said in a happy voice. "If it wasn't for you this family would've fallen apart years ago. You're the glue that holds us all together and of course if I was in charge I would make a big mess out of everything."
Lois's heart melted at these words.
"Oh Peter. You're so kind but stupid it's a good thing I left my other boyfriend years ago he was an even bigger cowerd than you are believe it or not." Lois snickered at this comment.
"You're right about that." Peter replied. "You should get back to sleep Lois especialy if you want to kick that fat bitch's ass."
Peter then yawned and fell asleep still wearing his glasses. Lois then took Peter's glasses off and put them on the bedside table. She then quietly slipped out of the room and went to the room that Stewie was sleeping in. She then crept over to the cot and leaned over the bars. Lois smiled to herself as she saw Stewie still curled up under the blanket hugging Rupert and snoring his head off.
The next morning at the Outlaw Gang hideout Helen had returned from Spooner Street. She had been patrolling the area hoping that the Griffins would come to their senses and surrender Stewie to her.
"No sighn of them Helen?" Sandy questioned in a teasing voice.
"No." Helen answered in low angry voice. "And the 24 hour deadline will run out just about now."
As she said this several tiny grains of sand fell to the bottom half of an hourglass which had been filled with sand.
"Then they will face our wrath." Mike commented while chuckling in a wicked manner. "They will burn in hell and we shall crush them like the pathetic insects they are."
Helen then dropped the hourglass on the ground causing it to smash sending sand and glass everywhere. Sandy then got sand on her skirt causing Katie to laugh at her.
"Well looks like you've gotten into a sandy situation." Katie stated while laughing hysterically.
Sandy then glared at her.
"Watch it Kate I could wring your neck right now if I wanted to." Sandy said in a threatning voice.
"You wouldn't have the guts." Katie growled out in anger.
"Watch me." Sandy snapped.
Before they got the chance to enter a cat fight another member stepped between them and pulled them up by the scruff of their necks
"Ok that's enough if you fight now you won't have any energy for tonight." He said.
"Fine." Both women moaned.
After this another member walked up to Helen and handed her a letter.
"Boss this letter was left outside the hideout it seems to be from someone named Dave." The member explained.
"What." Helen yelled out.
She then snatched the letter out of the members hand and began to read.
Dear Helen
can we meet up at the Quahog Docks at lunchtime. I just want to talk to you.
Love from Dave XXX.
Helen scrunched the letter up.
"What does that horrible traitor want?" Helen muttered to herself. "Trying to reason with me no doubt."
Helen then stormed out of the hideout.
"I'm going to brood." She called out in a grumpy voice.
Later on Dave was walking across the docks. After two weeks of living with the Griffins he had found his own house to live in and hoped that the events of two months ago would be forgotten. Sadly that wasn't to be the case. Dave then heard a voice he had been dreading to here again an all to familiar voice with a thick Texan accent.
"Dave you little worm I trusted you but still you betray me." The voice yelled out.
Dave then turned around to see Helen charging right up to him with a look of pure rage on her face.
"Helen." Dave began. "I know what you're going to do and I won't allow it."
Helen then put her brick red face right up to Dave's.
"You won't stop me Dave." Helen growled in anger. Stewie is my son and I will have him back and murder the Griffins.
But Stewie is a Griffin that's actually quite hypocritical saying you want to murder all the Griffins. Dave begged.
Helen then screamed like a wounded animal and punched her ex Husband in the face several times. She then slammed Dave onto the dock floor breaking his nose.
"Don't you ever lie to me." She snapped. "Stewie is my son I found him I braught him home and I raised him."
Dave then looked up.
"God Helen I knew you were deluded before but now you're even more deluded after being in IronGate which is where you belong." Dave replied.
The crazed woman grabbed Dave by the legs and threw him into the water. Dave gave out the Goofy Hollor as he fell into the water. Helen then marched off.
"Stupid waste of space." She muttered.
Back at the safe house Lois was relaxing, after her talk last night with Peter she realised he was right which was a very rare thing in Peter's case.
Peter then came up to Lois with a massive smile on his face.
"I'm going out to get some help for this battle." Peter said.
"Alright Peter." Lois replied. "But dont try to do anything stupid."
Peter just snickered as he ran of.
Back at the Outlaw Gang hideout evening was just approaching and the gang were preparing for the battle ahead. Helen then stood in front of the crowd.
"My dear Outlaws tonight we take our vengeance, tonight we march into the safe house and tonight we murder all those pathetic cowerds who wronged us." Helen began to speak in a voice laced with pure insanity. "But most importantly I shall kill that evil redhead she has caused me so much pain and anger for years."
Helen then began to sing.
(AN Song being parodied is Savages from Pocahontas
Helen:
What can you expect from filthy little cowerds?
"Their whole disgusting race is like a curse!"
They think they know what justice is.
They're only good when dead!
They're vermin, as I said, and worse!
Outlaw Gang Members:
They're cowerds!
cowerds!
Helen:
Barely even human.
Outlaw Gang Members:
Cowerds! cowerds!
Helen:
Drive them from our planet!
They're not like you and me, which means they must be evil.
We must sound the drums of war!
Outlaw Gang Members:
They're cowerds!
cowerds!
Dirty shrieking devils!
Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:
Now we sound the drums of war!
At the SafeHouse everyone was getting prepared for battle as well. Lois then began to sing.
Lois:
This is what we feared.
The gang are going to kill us all
The only thing they feel at all is hate.
Brian:
Beneath that human appearance,
there's emptiness inside.
Meg and Chris:
I wonder if they even bleed.
Protection Brigade members:
They're monsters!
Monsters!
Jake and James:
Barely even human.
Security Gaurds:
Monsters! Monsters!
Lois:
Killers at the core.
Stewie:
They're different from us,
Kady:
which means they can't be trusted.
Lois:
We must sound the drums of war.
Protection Brigade Members:
They're monsters!
Monsters!
Jenifer:
First we have our dinner.
Protection Brigade Members:
Then we sound the drums of war.
Outlaw Gang Members:
Cowerds! Cowerds!
Katie:
Let's go kill a few, Cowerds!
Protection Brigade Members:
Monsters! Monsters!
Helen:
Now it's up to you, men!
All:
Monsters! Cowerds!
Barely even human!
Now we sound the drums of war!
At the safe house the army was ready with Lois leading them.
"I wonder where Peter is?" She thought to herself. "I hope he hasn't Abandened us, no he wouldn't because if we loose and he hasn't shown up I'll kick his ass."
"Ok Stewie don't panic, besides you'll only have to use plan B if Helen can't be stopped." Stewie thought to himself. "But hopefully it won't come to that."
They're coming." The voice on the Tanoy announced. "Get ready."
Outside Helen and her army marched through the open fence.
"Look at them, leaving themselves up for slaughter." Katie jeered. "It's like they want us to murder them."
"Kill anyone you want." Helen explained. "But remember THE REDHEAD IS MINE.
Part 2
Helen:
This will be the day.
(Let's go, men!)
Lois:
This will be the morning.
(I hope you're ready!)
Protection Brigade Members:
We will see them dying in the dust.
Stewie:
I don't know what I can do.
Still, I know I've got to try.
Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:
Now we make them pay.
Stewie:
Brian and Kady, help me out.
Protection Brigade Members:
Now without a warning.
Kady:
Maybe I'll kill my daddy
Protection Brigade Members:
Now we leave 'em blood and bone and rust.
Stewie:
I'll kill that fat bitch
Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:
It's them or us.
Stewie:
Please don't let it be too late...
Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:
They're just a bunch of filthy, stinking...
Protection Brigade:
Monsters!
Outlaw Gang:
Cowerds!
Protection Brigade Members:
Demons!
Outlaw Gang members:
Devils!
Helen:
Kill them!
Protection Brigade Members:
Monsters!
Outlaw Gang Members:
Cowerds!
Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:
What are we waiting for?
Helen, Outlaw Gang, and Protection Brigade:
Destroy their evil race until there's not a trace left.
Stewie:
How loud are the drums of the war?
Helen, Outlaw Gang, and Protection Brigade:
We will sound the drums of war! Savages! Savages!
Now we sound the drums of war! Monsters! Cowerds!
Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:
Now we see what comes of trying to avoid justice.
Now we sound the drums of...
Stewie:
Is this the death of all I love carried in the drumming of...
Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade
War!
The two sides then faced each other in the spacious main hall preparing for a fight.
AN I thought it would be cool to have my stories exist in the same universe as the original. Anyway next chapter is the final battle and then two more chapters after that where we'll find out what Stewie's plan B is.