He sometimes watched her as she slept. Lying there next to him nestled beneath the sheets they latest inn provided them with, she looked at peace. Her soft breaths puffed against the linens, warming the pillow her head rested on while her pink locks splayed across the bedding. The dulled neutral tones of the fabric always seemed to make the rose locks seem even more vibrant as they twisted and tangled in a carless fashion. The edges of her locks curled and intertwined with one another in a haphazard sort of fashion. Forming a pattern that had no rhyme or reason to it, but was beautiful all the same. The wisps of hair flowed from her scalp to create an abstract painting as she slept. Cracks of light from the moon shining bright in the clear sky creeped through the shutters on the window. The strips of light illuminated bits and pieces of her form while the darkness encroached others. Occasionally she would toss or turn finding a new position that suited to be more beneficial for her comfort. Her movement was usually accompanied by a breathy sigh or lazy grunt. On most nights she seemed to be a picture of contentment. Lost in the comfort and peace sleep provided. Her mind drifting off to what she would recall in the morning as nothing more than a hazy dream.
Sasuke envied her. He did not dream. On the most merciful of nights his mind would fade to darkness as he slept. A void of nothingness that provided him with an undisturbed slumber. On most nights however, he would be haunted by gruesome images manifested from the sins of his past and the sickening horrors locked away in his memories. He would be plagued with endless reruns of his clans massacre. Blood and death littered his nightmares. The memories of himself killing his brother and attacking his former team shifted perspectives often. He would be trapped in his body forced to watch his own hands carry out their cruel misdeeds. Blood stained his palms and crusted beneath his nails while he was powerless to stop himself. Other times he would witness the carnage as a spectator watching himself slash and hack away at the people he cherished. His mind would play games with him. Melding his memories with his fears and twisting the events of reality. He had watched himself plunge a chidori through Naruto's chest laughing with maniacal glee as he killed his only friend. He was sickened as he was forced to watch himself crushing Sakura's slim neck between his fingers, readying a kunai in his other hand to slash her throat. Only this time Naruto had not been there to save her from his insanity and he watched blood run in rivulets down his hand while she choked and gasped for air. The light dimming in her eyes until the normally vibrant green was a dull faded jade.
He would wake up screaming and drenched in his own sweat. His gut twisted and heaved until he would be forced to expel the contents of his stomach. Sasuke never slept for long. He would stay awake as long as possible to avoid slipping into another one of the gruesome horrors his mind concocted. Only falling asleep when his body screamed from exhaustion and even then sleep did not last long.
As a genin he had refused to sleep during missions. He would lie still and rest his eyes but never sleep. He couldn't bare the idea of one of his teammates awakening to his cries and thrashing. It would have been humiliating. Naruto would have teased him relentlessly while Sakura would likely attempt to baby him like a child creeping into their parents bedroom after a nightmare. He was disgusted at the idea of seeming so weak in front of them.
However his travelling with Sakura had eliminated the opportunity of foregoing rest. He was furious at himself after being wrenched from the throes of a particularly awful nightmare, only to find Sakura kneeled over him with fear and concern painted across her features. He had been quick to scramble away from her gaze, lashing out cruelly when she attempted to comfort him. He was grateful she never brought up the event the next morning his ego damaged and filled with shame.
When it happened again he was lucid in his dream but unable to wake up. As he experienced horror after horror his conscious mind shrieked and ran through possibilities of what his sleeping form could be experiencing. Horrified of Sakura being there to witness it all. Trapped in a haze of blood and agony he felt powerless. Until everything seemed to slow and fade. The screams became muted as a gentle tune being hummed grew louder and louder overtaking the violent cries and twisted laughter. The images of death soon followed, fading into nothingness until only darkness remained. There was a gentle speck of light in the darkness where the humming seemed to be emanating from. He forced his body to move towards its comforting presence, only to find that his strides were much shorter than what he was used to. He looked down to find stubby legs matched by tiny hands, pristine and free of the rusted red of blood. He was in the body he had possessed as a child, before the massacre and all the pain. He propelled his tiny limbs as fast as he could towards the light growing more comforted by it as he got closer. Upon reaching the light he felt himself become cocooned in warmth. He felt himself relax and allowed his body to be cradled by the light. It felt as though he was in a safe embrace that sheltered him from the demons of his mind. He could not remember feeling this sort of peace in his sleep, but refused to question its source lest it be snatched away dropping him back into his nightmares.
Upon awakening feeling unusually well rested he found the source of his undisturbed slumber. Sakura was rested upright against the chipped wooden headboard of the bed. Her head drooped lazily signalling she was asleep. He discovered that his head was nestled into her abdomen and felt a small hand gently resting upon the crown of his head. Her fingers were laced through his locks as though she had been caressing them only to fall asleep mid stroke. Her other hand had taken up refuge against his chest, her arm trailing down the side of his head dipping at the contour of his neck. His own arms had shifted in his rest to wrap around her waist as if she were a security blanket of sorts. His hands loosely gripped the silky fabric of her nightgown crinkling it between his fingers. He quickly sought to untangle himself from her, making an effort not to disturb her rest. After removing himself he repositioned the sleeping girl in a more comfortable way, before silently exiting the room they had purchased the night before.
Neither mentioned the events of that night, and when they once again found themselves in a similar position it went unspoken. The same silence was bestowed on the night after, and the many nights that followed. When the nightmares came Sasuke found himself anxiously waiting for the familiar tune that would chase away his demons. He often feared that perhaps one day the humming would not come and the nightmares would return with a vengeance. The safe haven it provided both comforted him and terrified him. What if the humming one day stopped. Another comfort ripped away from him, another loss to suffer. But every night the humming never failed to show, and he relished in the peace its embrace provided.
After some time he began to reach out for her before he fell into his nightmares. Holding her tiny frame against his, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair as it tickled beneath his nose and lulled him into a peaceful sleep. The nightmares never came to him, as if repelled and squandered by her very presence. He knew that she understood that the gesture was not romantic in nature. Not meant to inspire any intimacy. It was a simple act of comfort, and she was happy to provide it. She tried her best not to let herself misinterpret his reaching out. Her mind desperately wanted to wander and rejoice at being held in his arms. Everything about the act was intimate but it was not meant to be intimacy. She would not let her feelings interfere with giving Sasuke the security and peace he so desperately needed. It tugged at her heart strings to have him so close, but he did not need a lover, he needed comfort. And if this was how she was able to give it to him then she would lock away those feelings and simply be what he needed.
As much as her closeness sheltered him from the bloody images, it did not keep all of his demons at bay. One nightmare in particular had developed a tenacity to pop up on the rare occasion. It slipped through the cracks of her safety net and twisted her presence into a catalyst for its horror. The humming would abruptly stop with a gurgling squeak that grew more fervent and desperate. The blackness would melt away and he would find himself strangling the pink haired girl, flicking out a kunai once again.
The first time the nightmare had reared its ugly head he had been horrified and confused by its appearance. Why had her humming not worked? Was it gone forever? The nightmare was vicious and he watched as he stained his hands with her blood powerless to do anything against it. He desperately searched for the humming and the light but neither were to be found.
He had snapped awake still rattled and lost in the visions of his nightmare. He vaguely registered a body hovering over his own gently trying to soothe and calm him from his panicked state. A light touch against his shoulder had snapped his body into action, his ninja instincts sparked by the presence of another so close to him while he was in a vulnerable state. Not fully conscious of his own response he had latched on to the perpetrators neck whipping them to smash against the wall with every ounce of his strength. He held the figure there with a strong grip crushing their windpipe. He had felt his sharingan spinning wildly, seeing everything and nothing at the same time. His ears registered small whimpers and gasps.
"S-Sasuke." A small voice sputtered and tiny fingernails clawed against his grip trying to pry his appendage away.
Upon recognizing the familiar cadence of his name he regained his consciousness enough to register his surroundings. He had been horrified to discover himself choking his companion, as if his nightmares had come to life. Quickly he wrenched his arm from the suffocating girl letting her drop to the floor and her tiny form heaving with raspy gasps as she attempted to suck in as much of the air she had been deprived as she could.
"It's... It's okay Sasuke... I'm fine." she struggled to tell him between pants, shakily attempting to rise to her feet and approach the visibly disturbed man.
He did not acknowledge her assurances and was frozen, staring at the hand he had used to do her harm only seconds before.
"Sasuke-" She attempted to comfort him, but he did not let her finish.
With his legendary speed he tore across the room yanking the door with a force that would nearly rip it from its hinges before darting out and slamming it behind him. The force of the door smashing against its frame shook the walls of the empty room and she was left bewildered as to what to do.
He did not come back for two days after that night.
She was wracked with concern for him in those days, unsure of what to do without him. She travelled through the village in hopes some one had come across him. But experience had taught her that Sasuke was practically invisible when he did not want to be found. Hoping he would return soon she opted to pay for some extra nights at the inn should he return. She had waited for him this long, she could wait a little more.
He had been inconsolable after that night. He was disgusted with himself. Sickened at his lack of control, lashing out at Sakura of all people. His stomach twisted with guilt, and his hands trembled at the thought of what he had almost done. He had nearly committed the unthinkable. He had practically crushed her windpipe because he was caught in the fit of a night terror. He was a danger to her. It was a stupid and reckless decision to let her get so close to him. She would be better off if he simply never returned. Walked out of her life forever to spare her from the monster that he was.
For two days he scoured through the forest, constantly sprinting at full speed, never once stopping. Even when his lungs burned and his legs jolted in pain with every step, he never stopped. Relishing in the ache and discomfort they provided as if it was his punishment in some sick form of penance. He had wished that Naruto was here to give him a proper beating that he deserved for laying hands on her again. Accidental or not the action was inexcusable.
Toiling over his thoughts he eventually reasoned that he should head back to the inn. He had an inkling that should he leave her there she would simply wait for him to return no matter how long it took. She was predictably stupid like that when it came to him. Although he reconciled that he was even stupider for ever bringing her along with him.
Why had he done it? He had justified to himself that she had initially asked to join him, he was humouring her desire to be close to him. He surely at least owed her that much. Bestowing a kindness to her after causing so much pain. Although he could not deny he had some selfish motivation behind the actions. He wasn't displeased with her presence and there was the added bonus of depriving the lecherous neanderthals that littered Konoha of a target for their pitiful affections and disgusting carnal desires. He had kept her with him far longer than he had originally planned, but she seemed to be happy enough. He saw no urgent reason to whisk her back to Konoha, she was perfectly content and safe under his protection. At least she had been until he became the very source of danger he aimed to shield her from.
It had been foolish bringing her with him. He had always been dangerous, intentionally or otherwise. Like a rabid dog who bit anyone brave enough to come close. He had been lulled into complacency by her soothing nature, it appeared that she was able to calm the beast for a time. But wild animals cannot be tamed, his vicious nature would eventually rear its ugly head and if she was close enough she would get bit. Just like she had been that night.
When he arrived back in their room he instantly wished he hadn't returned to the inn where he had last left her. Upon his entering she turned to face him with wide eyes, relief shining through them at his abrupt reappearance. However her eyes were not what had Sasuke once again frozen and feeling nauseous. Her slim pale neck, that looked to be delicate enough it could snap like a twig, was stained by dark angry bruises in the shape of a hand. His hand. He felt sick.
"You're back!" She cried out in a raspy voice, offering him a small smile. It only succeeded to antagonize his misery further.
He looked as if he was seeing ghost, his eyes glaring into where the markings resided. With her greeting ignored she looked to the man in her doorway, taking in his haggard appearance and trembling hands. He was as white as a slate and looked as though he were about to be ill all over the floor any moment. It was truly disconcerting seeing Sasuke like this. Following his line of sight she understood what had him so shaken. She instantly felt guilty for not healing the marks sooner.
"Oh don't worry about those I just haven't gotten around to healing them yet. Bruised tissue normally heals up better if its left alone for a few days to let the swelling go down. If it bothers you I can fix it?" She chirped pleasantly as though she was discussing the weather. She was once again met with no response.
"It's really not that bad you know. Looks worse than it really is. Anyways, I bruise like a peach." She continued with an air of forced nonchalance, even going as far to emit a staged chuckle at her anecdote.
Sasuke knew for a fact she did not bruise easily. She had once bragged about never getting bruises from training in their genin days. He remembered it because Naruto had made a rather indelicate comment, where he had crafted a comparison between her and a rhino. Although the simpleton hadn't had any ill intentions with his remark, reassuring her with fervour that it had been a compliment, it did not allow him to escape the wrath of her tiny fists laced with a brutish strength unbefitting of their appearance. Kakashi had dryly noted that the distance of which she had launched their teammate was a new record. Her knuckles had not so much as received a scratch despite colliding with such a remarkably thick skull.
In the time he had know Sakura she had certainly proven to be deceptively durable, more so than he had given her credit for, especially in the more recent years. To have made such an ugly dark mark on her skin was a testament to exactly how hard he had gripped her. Despite her dismissal of the injury he knew he had hurt her badly. He was honestly surprised she could speak at all.
He briefly wondered if she had intentionally left the bruising for him to see. Not to say he was undeserving of her vindictiveness, he could not object to any form of punishment she chose to throw at him. Her understanding and sweetness could have been crafted to mask her resentment. Letting the bruises blacken to their fullest capacity, staining her normally unblemished skin so she could watch the guilt bleed into his eyes. Bearing them as a painful manifestation of the savage nature he fought so hard to suppress. A reminder that a few petty good deeds along his travels did not absolve him of the monster he was.
However, he quickly reconciled that she could not have known he would return in time to witness the angry markings before they naturally faded back to the soft porcelain of her natural complexion. Sakura was also no where near that cruel. There was not a molecule in her body capable of harbouring bitterness and resentment. Her eagerness to forgive and forget was heartbreakingly genuine. It was God itself that had twisted the fates to ensure he would bear witness to the result of his actions. Karma and bitter irony decreeing that punishment would reign down upon him; through the sight of his hand imprinted on the fragile neck of the woman he never wanted to hurt again. The consequence of his err in control, made only all the more torturous by her sweet words of forgiveness and effort to shift blame from himself.
"The whole thing was my fault really. What kind of idiot pokes a sleeping ninja?" She pipes up again forcing another amused scoff.
Her pitiful attempt at levity is underwhelmed by the concerned expression she can't seem to shake from her features. He had yet to move or speak and his renowned stoic demeanour is absent. To some he wears the same expressionless mask as always, but Sakura has learned to spot the minuscule tells in his features that scream of inner turmoil. His poker face deepens into a miserable scowl as she continues her speech in hopes of getting a reaction from him.
"Any well trained ninja worth his salt would have reacted the same way!" She exclaims. Fighting a losing battle to keep a lighthearted atmosphere in the room. "It was a silly mistake, no harm-"
"I'm not any ninja Sakura." She flinches briefly shocked by the gravely tone coming from the previously mute ninja.
"I'm not any common ninja. When I make a 'mistake' people die." He growls out, never meeting her eyes, continuing to glare at the bruises that taunt him with their blotchy patches of deep purple and blue.
She makes an effort to slowly approach his form, with raised hands and small hesitant steps. As though she is approaching a volatile animal that could strike or flee at any moment, rather than a man.
"It was just an accident Sasuke, anyone could ha-"
"I ALMOST KILLED YOU SAKURA!" His booming shout halts her in her tracks and she remains perfectly frozen. She has the sense to feel an inkling fear at his anger. She loved him as much as one human being could love another. She trusted him with her life and held no reservations from his past transgressions. But Sakura would be lying to herself if she did not admit that sometimes, Sasuke scared her.
She would never resent him for his past. She had faced him at his worst and still called him comrade. She knew that he had truly changed. He was a stark contrast to the bloodthirsty avenger she had spent years chasing after. He had seen the light and was as loyal and good intentioned as they came. But every once in a while she would catch glimpses of that tortured lost boy consumed by rage and violence.
In her genin days Sasuke had been like a gallant prince in her eyes. Her very own knight in shining armour who would come to her rescue time and again. Sure he was a bit bitter and surly, but his gruff remarks and irritable nature were overlooked as she concocted a fairytale-esque perception of the boy. A white knight who knocked out bad guys with swiftness and precision. This romanticized fantasy was shattered in the forest of death. She saw a very different side of Sasuke than what she had previously known, and it scared her. Lurking beneath that pearly white armour and chiseled good looks was something very sinister.
She had never been scared of Sasuke before. Sasuke was intimidating, yes, but that had never gone beyond her feeling inferior in his presence or being subject to a couple well placed glares. He was a daunting opponent in battle unquestionably. He was considerably fast and defeated his opposition with swiftness and accuracy that was a testament to his title of prodigy. When she was paired up with him during sparring sessions she was always a tad anxious in facing him. She had always resigned herself for defeat before the match even started. He easily over powered her and probably could have sent her to the Hospital wing within seconds, he had certainly not hesitated to do so with Naruto on more than one occasion when he touched a nerve.
But Sakura was never afraid during these matches. Never worried or concerned that her team mate could seriously injure her. In fact he rarely so much as put a scratch on her during their matches. She hadn't realized it at the time but Sasuke hardly ever made an attempt to land a real physical blow to her. Their fights would usually end with her caught in some sort of trap or a pinch at the back of her neck before her world went black. At the time this absence of real intent to cause harm had seemed relatively normal to Sakura, a natural way of things in their world. Sasuke never harmed her, he was often mean and condescending but never hurt her.
Sasuke was never a threat or source of danger to her. He certainly had the capabilities to be, but even with her constant pestering and clinging he never so much as laid a finger on her. He tolerated her in a way that he did few others. Her transgressions were met with irritated scowls and grumbles of irritation. While others who had done much less were met with a fist in their face. He was a sort of reluctant protector for her. It was like watching a toddler pull on the ears of a rottweiler. The dog clearly irritated and letting out an occasional growl, was docile as pudgy fingers flitted about its face. The toddler having no concern for the fangs mere inches away from them. The creature was a fluffy ball of fur in their eyes, they did not comprehend that that same creature could become a vicious predator at a moments notice.
Sakura had been naive. When bared his fangs for her to see, it had scared her. It was a foreign feeling to have towards Sasuke, but it was there. He terrified her in that moment. Covered with black markings, red eyes looking unhinged and wild. A sickening smile on his face as he openly took pleasure in violently dismembering a man who had seemed terrifying to her a moment before. The sound ninja who had scared and beaten her looked pathetic in comparison to the boy she had thought she knew so well. Her mind rejected the very image of this monster who shared the same face as Sasuke. She later blamed the curse mark for the violent outburst. But it did not disquiet the fact that somewhere deep within something new had blossomed in Sakura. A tiny part of her learned to fear Sasuke. Feared the part of him that lurked in the darkness. The part of him that was vicious, angry and rip the arms off a man for harming her.
Sakura had been naive. Sasuke was not a protector.
He was a predator.
Still even after witnessing the darkness that lurked with in him. She did not fear him. He could be vicious but it was never directed at her.
The little girl now knew that the dog could be dangerous. It had fangs and claws that could rip its opponent to shreds. But the fluffy creature that let her poke and prod at his muzzle was not a threat to her. Those claws and fangs protected her. Seeing its beastly nature jolted her and frightened her, no longer naive to its violent potential. But she was not afraid of it, the dog could be dangerous but not to her.
It was a very different thing to see that dog become rabid with madness. The girl no longer saw a fluffy creature. She saw fangs and claws, and she felt fear. This dog was not her protector, it was a wild animal who would rip her to shreds given the chance. She feared this dog very much so.
There was a time where that fear had encompassed Sakura. It was a strange and twisted thing to love someone who petrified you. He had tried to kill her. She did not hate or resent him for it. She knew that he was hopelessly lost and a stranger with the face of the boy she once knew. Still she loved him. She wanted to help him and bring him back into the light. She wanted him back at her side with Team 7. The crippling fear she had felt when he attempted to kill her in cold blood without any hesitation, that fear made her never want to see him again.
She had never told Naruto, or anyone for that matter, that she had been plagued with nightmares in the years that followed that day on the bridge. She was haunted by the blind insanity she saw in his eyes. Initially following the encounter she developed panic attacks that robbed her of her breath, left her trembling and gasping for air. Feeling a phantom pain as though his hand was once again clenched around her throat. She startled when she heard the sound of birds and would reflexively whip around in a panicked stupor expecting to see him there brandishing a chidori that would plunge into her chest. She would be left shaken and disoriented upon discovering no one there. The sound of a kunai being drawn made her flinch and the lightening that accompanied a thunderstorm had her hiding in her blankets like a pitiful child. The sight of a red light in the corner of her eye left her frozen in fear. Her mind played tricks to convince her that a pair of those cursed eyes would suddenly emerge from the darkness and paint her walls the same blood red that housed the spinning tomoes. She had smashed her alarm clock one night, horrified by the red glare the numbers emitted in the dark.
With time most symptoms passed, most even disappearing all together. But even after his return to Konoha and departure from darkness, she would still have the occasional nightmare.
She sometimes dreamed of that day, sometimes Naruto would save her, sometimes not. She would dream that he broke into her bedroom, or sometimes her office, and had come to kill her the same madness thriving in his eyes. She dreamed that he would return from his travels and as she ran towards his figure he would plunge his sword into her abdomen with a smile on his beautiful face.
"Thank you." He would say to her as he watched her die.
She woke up screaming after those dreams. Her body would be wracked with horrified sobs and tears would stream down her cheeks in rivulets.
Sakura felt guilty for being afraid of Sasuke. Guilt for her mind conjuring these wicked nightmares featuring a man trying to rid himself of his troubled past. He was trying so hard not become that man ever again. He was trying to put his past behind him and make amends to those he had harmed.
She knew he was no longer that man. She had forgiven him the moment she had seen him lying next to Naruto bleeding from the stump that was now his arm. She knew he would never try to intentionally hurt her. She had seen he had changed and was overjoyed to have him back with them. She would trust Sasuke with her life, and loved him just as much as she had as a child. She did not fear Sasuke. She feared for him. She feared he would once again fall into darkness and become the monster that had haunted her mind.
Sometimes in a moment of her own weakness his raised voice or glaring red eyes, brought her back to a time where she had feared him. A sad dark time where he had not been the man she loved but the monster he had been made into. She did not blame him for what he had done or who he had become. He had suffered so much in his lifetime. It was understandable he would eventually become consumed by anger and misery when fate had shown him nothing else. He was a victim of circumstance and a tool for the misdeeds of others. From a young age he had his innocence ripped away by the very people he had trusted. He was surrounded by people who sought to use him, manipulate his suffering for their own agenda. He was lied to and cheated out of a normal life.
If Sakura knew that he would not have taken great offence to it, she would have pitied him. Instead she admired him. He was strong. In every sense of the word, Sasuke was strong. He fought against the cards he had been dealt, refusing to be pitied or looked down upon. He faced unfathomable hardship that would send lesser men to their graves. He had been broken mentally and physically, yet somehow pieced himself back together. He had cracks in him and pieces missing, literally and figuratively. But Sakura thought that that made him who he was. Like battle scars on a warriors back that communicated words left unspoken; I have been to hell and back, and I have survived.
Sasuke was a survivor. Sasuke was strong. And when he couldn't be, she would be strong for him.
Standing there, she righted herself and looked at the broken man before her, with a newfound determination in her gaze. She would smooth over his cracks and edges, and fill in the spaces he was empty. Even if it killed her she would make him whole.
"You almost killed me once before." She said in a voice barely above a whisper. But he heard it as clearly as if she had shouted the words right next to him.
His body physically jerked as though she had slapped him, his eyes widening and finally meeting her gaze. His form seemed to crumble at her words and his brow furrowed in what she could only assume was agony. She felt a throb of guilt at the effect her words had on him. They had never properly spoken about what had happened in the Land of Iron. It was a sensitive subject that both parties had avoided addressing. She knew he felt guilt and regret. He knew she had never brought it up for his sake. Both knew it was a dark piece of their history neither wished to revisit.
She let out a shaky breath before continuing.
"I was scared of you for a while after that." Her words were like daggers to him, cutting across the room and piercing into his chest.
"I would have nightmares about you. Sometimes I woke up screaming like you do. It's a funny thing to have in common with someone." She continued in a dry dazed tone, finding no actual humour in their shared commonality.
"Sakura shut up." He growled, but it seemed choked and dry, hardly as intimidating as he intended it to be. He wanted her to stop speaking more than anything in that moment. He felt as though he would drown in shame and guilt if she continued. He knew he deserved to hear what ever it was she had to say on the matter, she was entitled to it. But it did not mean he was ready to listen.
"I checked every night that I had locked all my doors and windows because I was terrified you would come to my house and kill me." She continued as though he had not spoken.
"Sakura. Shut. The fuck. Up." He ground out through his clenched teeth. Becoming more irate as she continued to inform him of her plight. It was sickening to hear from her lips how he was the reason for her paranoia.
"What I think scared me the most was-"
"SAKURA STOP IT!" He screamed with frustration. He wanted so badly to run out of the room but could not find the strength in his legs to do so.
She paused her speech at his outburst, her lip quaked briefly as she fought back her own building emotional turmoil. She hated to see him distraught, his normal composure was shattered by grief and she detested being the cause of it. But sometimes things must be broken first in order to be repaired. she shakily began taking small steps towards him as she spoke.
"What scared me the most was that if you did kill me..."
Her approach combined with her words sent his anxiety into record heights.
"Sakura stay the fuck away from me." He barked at her with a sour glare. Still she pressed on.
"If you did kill me, you would always be lost in the darkness... You would lose yourself Sasuke. It's almost unbearable for me to think of you being stuck in the darkness forever. The person I saw that day wasn't someone I knew. I don't think you knew them either. That was the person that scared me, and I think they scare you too."
He stared at her with a bewildered expression, trying to understand the meaning in her words.
"That was a man who was lost in his own grief and anger. I don't resent what happened that day, but I do not forgive you for it."
Sasuke was not naive enough to hope for forgiveness but hearing the words confirm his assumptions still stung like a knife being twisted in his gut.
"I forgive you for running away from us." Her speech becoming jumbled and flustered with holding back tears. "I forgive you for leaving me on that bench. I forgive you for all the heart ache and bullshit you put me and Naruto through. But I do not forgive you for that."
There was a tense silence in the room as she caught her breath.
"I do not forgive you for that day Sasuke because, that was not you. That was not the Sasuke I know and care for. I care for so, so much. You are not and have never been the person on that bridge. And I won't forgive you for something you didn't do."
In flash Sasuke had pinned Sakura against the wall holding her there with a hand against her neck. His fingers lined up perfectly with the bruising, the same appendage had left the night before. His grasp was locked around her neck rigidly but there was no force behind his grip his hand merely resting against the markings, tight and unwavering but applying no pressure.
"I don't know what delusional fantasy you are living Sakura but I can assure you it was me who tried to kill you that day. I would have slit your throat open if Naruto hadn't been there and we both know it." He deadpanned as he held her, eyes glaring angrily into her own. But she seemed unfazed by her vulnerable position. Unwaveringly assured that he would not harm her.
"You are not that person anymore Sasuke." She said quietly, raising a small hand to rest against his own.
"You are kind." she continued slowly peeling away the digits wrapped around her throat. "You are loyal." Feeling no resistance from him she gently continued to remove each finger one at a time. "You are brave. You are strong." He easily succumbed to her ministrations, watching with a careful gaze as she did so. "And you are loved Sasuke." She finished, moving his had to rest at his side.
"The man you are now would never hurt me or anyone else." She calmly whispered, leaning in to rest her head against his shoulder, feeling him slowly begin to do the same. Tilting her head to whisper in his ear as his forehead rested on her shoulder she said;
"I do not forgive you for that day Sasuke. And I do not forgive you for what happened the other night."
Understanding the meaning behind her words he let out a shaky breath. It felt warm and moist against her skin and she struggled to surpass a small shiver as his body relaxed against hers.
"I'm broken Sakura. I don't want to hurt you again."
"We're all a little bit broken Sasuke. Some more so than others... But that doesn't mean we can't be fixed."
The two ninja were silent. Simply resting against one another, breathing in tandem. Neither sure how long they had been there for.
"Someday Sasuke, you will be fixed too."
"Forgive me Sakura." He said so quietly she thought she had imagined it. She let out a small smile before she replied with a whisper of her own.
"I already have."