CHAPTER TEN
Bellatrix, David, Jude, Gnash, Ark, Jay, Sandy, Vee, Ashton, Daveigh, Heartwing and Charlie were all in the park, watching the clouds pass over them while Grey strummed gently on a guitar on a nearby bench.
"Just wait…for while he may roam…allllwaaaays…a hero comes home! Heee goes…where no one has gone…but alllwaaays…a hero comes home! Heeee knows…of places unknown…alllwaaaays…a hero comes home! He goes…where no one has gone…but alllwaaays…a hero…comes…home…"
"Now that was beautiful." Ark said. "How do you know all these songs?"
"Practice." Grey insisted. "That, and a music-playing watch to help me learn by ear. You know…" He looked up at the sky. "It was a dumb idea for us to party while the adults were gone…we should have learned our lesson from the LAST time we tried something like that…"
David groaned. "Oh, RIGHT…RIGHT…how could we forget that?"
"It has been said that time makes fools of us all." Ashton said in a Zen fashion. "But…I'm not quite sure what you mean. What time?"
"Yeah, I'm curious too. What are you talking about?" Daveigh asked, moving onto her stomach and looking at Grey.
Grey rubbed his chin. "You two were too young, you wouldn't remember…but I know most of the others do, and I feel in the mood to tell a story!" He grinned and put his guitar away. "So let me tell you what happened. A long time ago, in a galaxy right here…"
…
…
…
…there was once a beautiful and lush paradise known as Kauai, and the cream of it's crop was Kokaua Town. It was a land filled with happy children with gumdrop smiles, people that would heartily shake your hand after you gave them the time, and a wind that was so gentle it could almost tie your shoes for you. On one particular day, all of the town could feel the wind of something special approaching. The brooks babbled like newborn babies, the sky was bluer than usual, and, most importantly of all, there was a special notice was being dropped off in at a very special house…
You see, within that lovely little house with the long white steps, there lived a beautiful princess and her mother and father. She had a devoted half brother who was a charming prince that would someday be king. The princess's name?
"Daveigh?"
Yes…Daveigh. Little Daveigh was only 4 years old, but even in her young age she was the cutest thing upon the island. A fact that made her princely brother rather happy, because…
"BELLY RUUUUB!" Sandy said, rubbing little Daveigh's belly with his hands, making her giggle and laugh. Mrs and Mr. Pelekai smiled at the sight as they walked into the living room and sat down on the couch while Sandy and Daveigh played "belly rub" on the rug.
Then there came a jingling noise from outside. They all looked up and out the window, and saw…
There, upon a skateboard rode a dark but powerful prince who had within his heart a secret desire that was growing bigger and bigger with each day: the desire to rule over what should rightly be Sandy's land. This dark prince was called Jenkins, or, as he preferred it, Jay…
"HEY! I did not "covet my gaybor's noods!"
"Goods, idiot. Covet thy NEIGHBOR'S GOODS."
"…oh. Where did I hear that first thing?"
"And you TOTALLY coveted the position. Go on, go on, I'm starting to remember how the day began…"
Right. Anyhow, the dark prince held a small slip of yellow paper up and was cheering heartily for Prince Sandy to come out. Curious, Sandy bounded down the long white steps from the porch to stand before the dark prince Jay.
"What is it?" He asked, looking intrigued.
"I was sneakingeth into the post office to look through people's mail when WHAT-HO, I found this slip in a bunch of mailboxes…in Frank and Victoria's mailbox, in my DAD's mailbox, in YOUR mailbox, in Bellatrix and David's mailbox…my dad has a hearing ythat is coming up…he's going to try to make a case for coming back to Kauai! The adults are going to be off in Niihau for the weekend…and since Daveigh's parents are descended from Lilo, they're coming too, and everyone leaves TONIGHT at 8! Do you realize what this MEANETH?"
Sandy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "…all of our parents shall be gone for the weekend…we'll be all alone…"
"EXACTLY!" Jay shouted gleefully. "We have to do something!"
"You're right…" Sandy admitted, eyes opening wide.
"We have to take advantage of this!" Jay insisted.
"Absolutely!" Sandy agreed.
"We must have a toga party." Jay laughed.
Sandy clasped Jay's hand and shook it. "Spread the word to the other kids. Party at my place. We're gonna tear this bizzatch up! It will be totally flyeth!"
And so with that, Jay rode off into town like a town crier, calling out to the younger generation. The word was quickly spread, and a feeling of freedom filled the hearts of the children of Kokaua Town. It was party-time!
There was just one thing that had to be done, all the children agreed as they met at the park to discuss their soon-to-be-arriving party. They all had to play it cool, and act like they weren't planning anything special. Otherwise, their parents would know for sure…
Unfortunately, that was when they hit their first snag.
"WOE IS ME!" The beautiful Victoria lamented.
"Woe is US!" Her brother mourned.
"Why woe?" Asked the dark prince Jay.
"Have thou forgotten?" Victoria asked, her fiery Latin nature rising. "Muy padre es psíquico, descubrirá lo que estamos planeando para seguro!"
"I didn't get most of that, but from what I DID get…" Prince Sandy said, looking concerned. "Your father's psychic, so he'll figure out we're having a party…and if the adults find out, we are EVER in the deepest of doggy doos…"
"And we still need to figure out who can buy the booze! Keep in mind that Slick's not stupid enough to sell us beer…he'll figure out we've got a party planned, call our parents and then we'll reapeth the whirlwind!" Frank added, tearing at his lovely Mohawk. "What can we do? What SHOULD we do?"
All of them let out respective groans and their heads hit the Round Table. All hope seemed lost…
And then rode in a being with his legs wrapped in a rainbow. They could hear his voice from a mile away as he rode down the hills of their town. A beautiful, glow of a thousand colors surrounded his feet, and he was skating on top of it as if it was ice. He turned and twisted as he sang out, expertly diving underneath an oncoming truck of melons and leaping through the air to swing around a light pole.
"I'm a wild one! Ooh, I'm a wild ooone! Gotta break it loose, gotta keep on movin' wild, gonna keep on swinging baby, I'm a real wild child!"
He let go of the light pole, swinging through the air and summoning that rainbow aura again, skidding down the hill, then propelling himself up with a mighty jump, landing in the park. His aura receded into him as he strode over to the children of Kokaua Town and waved cheerily. "Good morrow, everyone!" He said happily. "Isn't it a beauuuutiful day?"
"Funny, we needed a knight in shining armor, not a village idiot." The dark prince remarked distastefully.
"And a weird one to boot, I am going to have to agree with Jay on this one." Prince Sandy admitted sadly.
The experiment of the aura put his hand on his chest, looking offended. "Hey, you WOUNDETH me!"
"Why were you jumping and sliding and leaping around?"
"I can't explain myself. Sometimes I'm nasty. Sometimes I'm nice. And sometimes, like Sandy and Jay, I drink too much of a certain concoction and I begin to sing a song about trog-lins. In any case, I'd be happy to help you out with your upcoming party!"
All at the round table looked at him in surprise. "First of all, I wasn't aware you drank beer…" Sandy began.
"I don't, can't stand the smell. I am talking about Icees."
"Oh. Secondly, how'd you find out about the party?" The young prince asked the strange experiment.
The enigma simply smiled and put his arms behind his head as his brown hair blew slightly in the wind. "My ears are NOT just for decoration. Though they do hang low and you can tie them in a bow, and I sometimes throw them o'er my shoulder like a continental soldier. All the same, they have great uses. Now then…what do you need?"
It was then that the daughter of the lovely Dutchess Belle spoke up, with her brother David sitting by her side. Bellatrix's voice was always very loud and obnoxious-
"HEY! I shall make thee EAT that stringed thing!"
Moving along, always loud and obnoxious, but not today…not this time. Now she was pleading. "We need somebody to go into Slick's store to get booze!" She insisted. "We can't have a good party without booze!"
"Have thee ever even HAD booze?" The enigmatic Grey asked. "I know Jay has, he can barely handle it…"
"Hey, YOU'RE not one to talk, you tee-totaling joke!" The dark prince said, pointing with a single claw. "Your mother AND father couldn't hold down one beer to save their life, and we know what happens when you drink a single CUP of the stuff!"
Grey nodded embarrassingly. "Tis true, I am not able to hold my beer…but Sandy's far worse than I am! He gets it from HIS mom and dad…"
"Now hold on!" the charming Prince protested. "Don't dismiss my drinking so lightly! I just need practice, that's all…look, Grey…will you do this for us? Will you be our knight in shining armor?"
Grey smiled eagerly. "Well…okay! I can't deny my godchild a request like that! You realize that since you're making a wish of me…this makes me like a FAIRY godfather!"
"Oh God!" The dark prince groaned. "Don't crack any jokes around that subject matter!"
"Want he should crack jokes about YOU then?" David asked.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Jay asked.
"Well I'm sure you want to be the BIG MAN of the party, right?" David asked, snickering.
Bellatrix got it. "Yes, I mean, somebody of thy STATURE should be careful about how much he drinks…maybe Grey should just get a HALF-PINT."
Jay blinked. "Uh…what?" He asked, doing a double take at them.
"Let's face it, not too many people LOOK UP to you." Sandy added.
"Although I'm sure people like you are in…SHORT…supply?" Gnash said, covering his mouth with his paws, snorts emanating from his trunk.
Jay's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"You must be THIS tall to be king!" Grey laughed, holding one hand over Jay's head.
"Why you-" Jay snarled, clenching his fists. "It's not MY fault I'm an inch and a half shorter than Sandy, he hit puberty first!"
"We still gotta think of what to do about me and Victoria!" Frank insisted. "Dad's gonna read our minds and he'll know about the party!"
"If only Jumba was still here…" Sandy said sadly. "He'd have some kind of evil genius gadget we could use…"
Then, all at once, all of their heads perked up and they all said the same thing as they pointed into the sky.
"TO THE LAB!"
…
…
…
…meanwhile, very far away, the dark lord Leroy was plotting and planning, an eager smile upon his face as he looked at himself in the mirror of his mansion at Niihau. He had been exiled for many years but soon…SOON he'd be able to wipe out all of his enemies in one fell swoop…and his son, Jay, would become the ruler of all Kauai! Oh, what a good dad he was…
"Is it all properly managed, Gizmo?" He asked of his young but brilliant assistant.
Gizmo slowly slunk into the room, then saluted. He looked so much like the once-great technological wizard Jumba that it was uncanny…fitting, since he was Jumby's clone, and since Jumby had been the "mini-me" to Jumba's "Dr. Evil". "The remote is built, the bombs are set in place and I put them all in that specially crafted box you asked for."
He held up a small treasure box with a keyhole at the front. Leroy held up a small silver key and placed it into the keyhole, unlocking the box and looking within. There was a small red dot…the remote. He put it into his mouth, at a special location on his tooth, then grinned down at what that remote would activate: small bombs that looked like the covers of nails, small but potent…he quickly shut the treasure box, slipped the key underneath his tongue, then swallowed the treasure box, knowing that it would be safe until the time came inside his stomach.
"Sir, WHERE exactly is the hearing taking place?" Gizmo asked.
"Hmm…" Leroy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I believe it's going to be on an airship…" He grinned. "All the better. I'll send it crashing and destroy the evidence."
"I wonder how Master Eclipse is doing?"
"Oh, he's off making his own plans…" The dark lord remarked dismissively. "I wouldn't worry about him…"
Indeed, if anybody should be worried, it would be the loving ohana of Daveigh Pelekai, for watching her house from a far-off, tall tree was a deadly and dark creature. He was the dark dragon Eclipse, a feared yet admired being that spread darkness with a single flick of his hand. His tail curled slightly as he gazed at the house of the princess, a cruel smile dancing upon his face.
Eclipse was evil, filled with dark energy, a power that came from emotions like sadness, anger and hatred. His father and mother had tried to raise him and expose him to the light, but sadly he had chosen the dark path and had slain his father. Now the dark dragon desired for himself one particular girl…Daveigh Pelekai. Her light was incredible, a shining spark that would one day grow into a beautiful glow as bright as any star…and the darkness wanted to swallow the light.
It almost bothered him, the idea of having to swallow a little girl whole, to make her parents weep…but the dark dragon could not allow himself to feel sympathy, such emotions were too…dangerous. It would have to be done. And he would do it when her parents were gone, when only the prince could protect the princess…for the prince was weaker than he believed himself to be, much weaker…
But where was the prince, I hear you cry? Well, he had led his "troops" to the old, decrepit lair of the wizard that was Jumba Jookiba, and he now moved the boards away from the old door as he led them inside. Dust was settled all around, and a dank and musty smell filled the air. It made a couple of them gasp in disgust.
"Let's split up." The brave prince ordered. "We need to findeth a telepathy blocker, I know Jumba made at least ONE in the event that Chops turned bad again…"
They poured through the old laboratory, searching high and searching low. Books were moved aside, boxes pushed away, floorboards torn up, even the bathroom's medicine cabinet was checked…but after an hour of searching, they began to get bored.
"This reminds me of when we looked through the electronics store to find a battery-operated stereo system to defeat Leroy…" Grey said suddenly. "Ahh, good times, good times…I could have sung all night!" He thought out loud, smiling.
"This place reminds me of 086's home…it's CREEPY…" Bellatrix said, shivering in fear.
"You've been in 086's house?" Prince Sandy asked the daughter of the duchess, turning around quickly and walking towards her with a quick spring in his step. "Doesn't his spirit still-AAAA!"
He fell over a box and groaned, rubbing his royal head. "What hit me?" He asked.
"You tripped over this box." The dark prince Jay laughed as he picked it up. "Ooh, a Spritzifier…a socket wrench…hey…"
Then he began to giggle madly.
"What on EARTH is the meaning of thy giggling?" Sandy asked.
"This blaster…is exactly the same shape…" Jay held up a plasma buster and all of their eyes widened. "As a thingy!"
"I can die happy now." Grey said, cheerily beaming.
"Oh, look!" Jay said, pointing into the box.
He held up a small, black thing that looked very much like a single-ear headphone. It was shaped like a pear and had a little antennae sticking out of the non-listening end.
"Yes, yes, that's it!" Sandy said, going over to it. "We've found it!"
"Good thing too, it's time for dinner and I'm STARVED!" Jay said, holding his stomach.
"Yeah, I'm sure you'd like to whip up A LITTLE SOMETHING." Grey said, a grin widening on his face.
"WHY YOU STINKIN!" Jay shouted. "I am not short!"
"Yes you are, thoust can play handball up against the curb." Bellatrix laughed.
"And you can get in to see movies for those under 12 without people staring at you!" Sandy laughed.
They had to RUN out of the lab, with Jay snarling after them.
…
…
…
…meanwhile, far away, a beautiful Queen and a handsome King lived in a large and luxurious home. The Queen was gazing at herself in a mirror that reached to the ceiling of their bedroom while the King picked his nose with his tongue…and royal gusto.
"I don't want to go." Queen Angel said suddenly, turning around and putting her hands on her hips, just in time to see her husband King Stitch slurp up a particularly juicy green bogey.
"STILL THY TONGUE, WOMAN!" Her husband shouted, standing upward on the lush, "King and Queen size" bed he had been resting on. "We HAVE to go, this is Leroy we're talking about…"
"Stitch…" Queen Angel said softly. "I'm SURE that the kids are going to be up to something while we're gone…and I want to find out WHAT."
King Stitch rubbed his chin in thought. "I am guessing that you want to stay behind and see if they're planning a party…is that it?"
"Absolutely." Queen Angel said. "And if Jay's got ANY hand in it…"
"Our house will be wrecked by nightfall." Stitch finished. "Alright, alright…you can stay behind, and we'll catch them in the act. I'll inform the other parents not to pry into their children's weekend schedules and you find yourself a nice disguise…try painting yourself black, that usually works…"
Angel brushed one of her long antennae back as she turned to the mirror. "For years Leroy's been trying to undermine us through Jay…now he thinks he's got a golden opportunity. Well-hell-hell!" Angel chuckled, looking pleased with herself. "He's going to be QUITE surprised, won't he?"
"Hey, hold on!"
Grey blinked. "What is it?"
"Where was I during all of this?" Ashton demanded to know. "What was happening with me?"
Grey scratched his head, then snapped his fingers. "Oh, now I remember!"
There lived in the beautiful Kokaua Town a young child who was four years of age himself, and very much a strange boy at that. You see, for starters, he was incredibly clean and well-cut, and he liked to be very well dressed to boot. If you so much as put a sock on his foot that didn't match the other, he would begin to cry.
This young squire was the grandchild of a woman who had once been a real curmudgeon. Now she was a wise old woman who knew many, many secrets…secrets regarding what the best kind of drink one could acquire for a marvelous feast. It was to HER that a devoted choir boy went to…he was a page, and his name was Jude. He looked like a little angel as he strode up the steps to the wise woman's home in a small blue suit and he knocked gently upon the door.
The wise old woman's hair blew slightly in the wind as her young grandchild stood by her, dressed perfectly and neatly in a green shirt and blue pants. His hair was perfectly trimmed, and his glasses caught the light slightly as he looked Jude over.
"Ooh, it's Mr. Angel's son!" Ashton said. He would often refer to Jude's father as "Mr. Angel". Jude smiled good-naturedly and looked up at Myrtle Edmonds, Ashton's grandmother.
"Good morrow Mrs. Edmonds! Forgive the sudden appearance, but we require your sage advice. We're having a very large party, and we need to know what drinks would be suitable for it."
The wise old woman smiled and motioned for the young page to come inside the house. She had him sit down while she held up a bowl filled with hard candy. "What advice do you need, dear Jude? I'm always happy to help."
"We need to decide what store to order our Buffalo Wings and Pizza from, and what drinks to get. Do we order Pizza BY Alfredo or Pizza FROM Alfredo? I don't really see the difference…"
"Oh, there is a VERY big difference." Wise Myrtle said. "Now then…"
She crossed across the living room to a bookshelf, and then, right before their eyes, pulled out from a cupboard a HUGE book of magical power, filled with wonder and beauty. She placed it down before her grandchild and the little angel and they opened it up.
"Such…such amazing prices!" Jude gasped. "They…they serve mozzarella sticks too?"
"Ooh, what a pretty dog!" The young squire said, pointing at one of the pages.
"Yes, it sings." Myrtle admitted.
"Pizza BY Alfredo it is…but what about drinks?" Jude asked. "I know nothing about the taste of alcohol, save for the wine of service at church…"
Myrtle Edmonds smiled and turned the pages several times, then held up a magical wand and made a circle around her target. "There." She said, as a glowing red ring marked the spot. "Take a good look."
Jude looked down at the street address. "Route 50? "Hawaiian Hooch"?"
"It's quite some distance, but you'll be able to get any drink you want without too many questions, far different from Slick's store. Also, the prices are cheaper." The wise old woman said.
The little angel looked up at the wise old woman and bowed. "Thank you, dear lady, you are too kind…" He stood back up then, a look of determination on his face. "And now, I must be off!"
Speaking of somebody who had to be off, Queen Angel was also off…off to her bathroom with a tub of black paint. She opened the top with one claw and emptied the contents into the bath after she had closed the drain. Then she closed her eyes and mouth tight as she slipped down…down…down…
…
…
…
…Frank and Victoria were walking down the sidewalk, chatting to each other about the upcoming party. But then they noticed something as they passed by the many stores…they noticed one particular store, in fact…
"They say money can't buyeth happiness." Frank said, standing before the store.
"They say money can't buyeth love." Victoria added, eyes widening.
They were quiet for a few moments, then spoke up at the same time.
"Fools."
They were standing in front of a Fireworks store that had a big neon sign a-blazing above it, "Jack's Blast-O-Rama". The two siblings turned to each other, grinning.
"We have GOT to get one!" Frank said.
"Absolutely!" Victoria agreed. Then, suddenly, an idea hit her. "Wait, hold on, we only need drinks and food, Grey's going to be doing music, won't that be en-"
"You have to let impulse rule your brain!" Frank said. "At least, when it comes to parties. That's what Dad always says, remember? Trust your instincts?"
"Right, right…" Victoria agreed. "Okay, fine, I suppose a couple of fireworks can't hurt…"
Jay, Bellatrix and David all looked at each other nervously. "You sure about this?" David asked Jay.
"I want to knock Sandy's SOCKS off with this." Jay insisted. "Besides, I know all of the guys will be turned on by a stripper showing at the party!"
"Hey!" Bellatrix growled, jabbing one claw into Jay's stomach. "This is a dumb idea. No stripper is going to be willing to listen to a bunch of…"
"Yoo-hooo!"
They all slowly turned their heads, eyes widening as Bellatrix's voice broke. "Kids…like…us…"
There stood a raven-black beauty with long antennae and sparkling eyes of dark blue…she blew a kiss seductively as she walked over to them from the alleyway she'd been in, her beautiful, skin-tight pink dress sparkling in the light. What they did not know was that this was Queen Angel, wearing blue contacts.
"Hey…" The woman said. "Somebody mention a party? I can party, babes. I can party…"
She walked over to Jay and lowered one arm, then clenched firmly on a certain organ. "HARD."
"Oooooh!" Jay remarked, eyes widening. "Oh YEAH, you're perfect!" He said. "We'll need you at the Pelekai house, you know where that is, right?"
"EVERYONE does, babe." The woman said, winking.
"How much?" David asked, reaching into his wallet.
"Oh, it won't cost too much babe. I can take you to MY place later on." She told Jay, brushing one cheek.
"Oh really?" He asked, grinning perversely.
"Yeah, in her pocket!" Bellatrix howled.
She was immediately jumped upon.
…
…
…
…Jude walked into "Hawaiian Hooch", his eyes looking around carefully. Who could run a place like this?
"Why, hello there!"
Jude turned abruptly, eyes going wide. The little angel couldn't believe it…
"YOU?!"
The dark dragon curled his claws one at a time as he rested one arm on top of the counter he sat behind, his eyes gazing intently at the page. "Why dear page, how ARE you? What are you doing here?"
"You…run…a liquor store?"
"I have to do SOMETHING to make ends meet." The dark dragon said. "Now I notice from the list in your hand that you are interested in some high-quality beer…" He grinned, showing off his amazing teeth. "I will be HAPPY to provide you with said beer, and for a good price…"
"They TOLD me the devil would be attractive…" Jude groaned. "I should just-"
"Leave?" Eclipse asked. "But then you'd disappoint your friends, wouldn't you?" He asked.
Jude bit his lip. It was very true…the loyal page did not wish to disappoint his friends, especially not Prince Sandy. And he had hoped to get some Shirley Temple mix for Princess Daveigh and kiddy punch for the young squire Ashton.
"Tell you what…" Eclipse said. "I know you would refuse if I offered any beer as a gift, you'd rather pay for it…but is there a non-alcoholic drink you'd like?"
"Why would you provide me with ANY gift?" Jude asked, looking suspiciously upon the dragon.
"Evil I may be, inconsiderate I am not. Now what may I get you?"
"…well…I need some Shirley Temple mix for Daveigh and some kiddy punch…"
The dark dragon smiled and rose up, going over to an aisle and pulling out exactly what Jude needed. "I have the best kind of brand right here…"
Jude had felt disturbed being in the store, so he made the rest of the shopping quick, slamming down a fifty, telling Eclipse to "keep the change" and tfhen running out with the beer. Eclipse smiled to himself.
"Poor, foolish little page…I saw you coming from a mile away. Both those drinks I gave you as gifts are…heh-heh…very special…"
It was true…the dark dragon had concocted a terrible brew with which to put the first drinker into a deep sleep…and the second drinker would be driven into a fierce, drunken stupor…all for one purpose: to make the little princess his. The dark dragon threw back his head and laughed…and laughed…and laughed.
…
…
…
…and so, the night of the grand party came…the very same night of Leroy's hearing. The adults had gathered together at a grand dining hall. Large tapestries hung down from the hall, and it had a big, white table in the center. Unbeknownst to all of them, Leroy had already snuck out of his cuffs and had planted the bombs at the chairs where everyone would be sitting, while Gizmo remained below in Kokaua Town, as part of the SECOND part of the plan.
One by one the many dukes, duchesses, lords, mistresses and retainers of the King and Queen entered the room and sat at the dining hall table, while Leroy was located at the end…looking around for one particular person.
"Where's Angel?" He found himself asking King Stitch, who was seated far across from him on the other end. The king adjusted his crown and gave Leroy a look, but he finally conceded and admitted that Angel would not be here.
This bothered Leroy. He'd WANTED to get her out of the way, but then again…he WOULD need a queen for his son to look up to as a prince…
"Now then…" King Stitch said, resting his paws upon the table. "Leroy…we are all gathered here but for one purpose. I have sent for all my generals as well."
Hyena, Hogan, Ranku, The Wyrd Sisters, Pele, Hiaka and Heartwing were there. Makani, out of respect for Stitch, had come as well, as had Vee, who was not yet a smuggler. Kuko and Peleka were loathe to come, but when they'd heard that Sandy WOULDN'T be coming they jumped at the chance to show off their loyalty and importance.
"Alright. Roll call!" Stitch called out.
"I, Avatar of Wind, Makani, salute my Lord in Freedom's name!"
"I, Avatar of Metal, Hogan, salute my Lord in Loyalty's name!"
"We, the Avatars of Darkness, Wyrd Sisters hand in hand, salute our Lord in Power's name!"
"I, Avatar of Electricity, Voltrinnia, salute my Lord in Hope's name!"
"I, Avatar of Ice, Ranku, salute my Lord in Peace's name!"
"I, Avatar of Fire, Pele, salute my Lord in Courage's name!"
"I, Avatar of Water, Hiaka, salute my Lord in Kindness's name!"
"I, Avatar of Earth, Kuko, salute my Lord in Fortitude's name!"
"I, Avatar of Poison, Peleka, salute my Lord in Cunning's name!"
"I, Avatar of Gravity, Hyena, salute my Lord in Friendship's name!"
"I, Avatar of Light, Heartwing, salute my Lord in Faith's name!"
Stitch immediately beamed. He really, REALLY liked being saluted so much.
Leroy groaned and buried his face in the table. "Can we GET ON with it?!" He got out. "PLEASE?!"
"First thing's first…I'm STARVING!" Kuko said.
"But it's only 7:00, didn't you already-"
"HUNGRY!" Kuko hollered, pounding on the table.
"FOOD!" Hogan shouted.
"HUNGRY!"
"FOOD!"
Stitch groaned and buried HIS face in the table. "Alright, alright…I'll go tell the chefs to prepare something!"
ELSEWHERE…
"WAAAAHOOOO!"
Lovely fireworks were being launched over the Pelekai household, as torches lit up the home. Frank and Victoria had long since used up all of the lighters and were now using the last of the matches. It had become a splendid castle, and the lovely princess was playing blocks with little Ashton whilst Grey concocted the princess a Shirley Temple, her first "big girl" drink.
The dark prince was dancing alongside of the beautiful stripper from before, who was not wearing any clothes…
Meanwhile, Sandy was in the bathroom, brushing his hair with a brush to try and look his best. But the party was getting louder and louder, and he could, in fact, hear the occasional "clinkle" of broken windows. Then a VERY drunk Bellatrix stuck her head inside the bathroom.
"Hey, Sandy…my bro wants to try something. He says he wants to test "Einstein's Theory of Gliding Living Room Furniture…"
Sandy dropped the brush and his mouth opened wide.
"I've never HEARD of that theory before…" Bellatrix remarked.
"GRRRRR…" Sandy growled, rushing out of the bathroom and down the steps, just in time to see David, Specter and Evan, all terribly drunk, about to push the couch out the door and down the steps.
"THAT'S IT!" He shouted. "This is getting out of hand!"
"Oh, I dunno about that." David hiccupped.
Jude was speaking with Bellatrix, who was giggling madly, holding one hand up. "So I grabbed him by his cheap costume, flung him up against the wall and said "You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"."
Bellatrix suddenly let out a gurgle, then vomited on the floor and passed out. Jude blinked as he looked down at her.
"…so, uh…what are your hobbies?" He asked.
The experiment who wrapped his pants in a rainbow knelt down and handed the princess her special golden grail. "Drink, milady!" He said gently. Daveigh smiled and took the grail within her hands, holding it to her mouth and taking a mighty gulp. He turned his head and saw Ashton was drinking some kiddy punch from a goblet of his own and he smiled…
Then the princess suddenly let out a "aaahhh" and conked out on the spot, while the young squire began hiccupping and babbling madly. Grey blinked, then his eyes went wide in fear. Running to the punch bowl, he took a sniff of it, then of the Shirley Temple mix…
"They've been spiked!" He shouted.
Everyone turned their heads at this announcement. "Who spiked the kiddy punch and Shirley Temple mix?!" Sandy demanded to know while Grey held Daveigh's head up, trying to wake her up.
Everyone looked at each other. Then Jude gasped. "Oh no…it must have been…"
A few moments before Jude completed his sentence, Stitch and the others had completed dinner. Wiping his royal mouth with a royal napkin, the brave King Stitch spoke up.
"Well go ahead, dark lord Leroy." Stitch said. "Let us hear what you have to say. I personally don't see why we should let you come back to my kingdom…"
"Oh, well allow me to enlighten you as to why." Leroy said, standing up and grinning. "I have placed bombs on each of your seats. They will explode unless you agree, right now, to allow me back to Kokaua Town."
Everyone gasped. "WHAT?!" Stitch shouted.
"Now, now, don't get excited. I have a switch hidden on one of my teeth. I'll press the remote switch and the bombs will set off electrical pulses fine-tuned by my assistant to target each of your brain waves. You'll be stunned and comatose, and I can take my time killing you all slowly…unless I get what I want."
"You rotten, traitorous…" Stitch growled.
"I also came up with another plan. Should you somehow get the remote from me, I'll just activate the second remote that Gizmo insisted I develop, it will fry the engines and send this sky ship plummeting to the ground…and you won't be able to pilot it to safety because as of now…"
Leroy grinned evilly. "My assistant Gizmo has shut off every single source of power in Kokaua Town. You'd be flying blind."
They were all very silent. The dark lord Leroy had come up with a clever plan. How could they possibly thwart him?
And so…
GRRUUUUUHHHHH…
Grey looked down at his stomach. "Ooh, I'm HUNGRY. Hold up, I'm gonna go get some Chinese food…"
He hopped off the bench and walked off. They all groaned and looked at each other.
"But…what happened? I wanna know what happened!" Daveigh said.
"Anybody remember how our parents got down from the sky? Vee?" Frank asked.
"Er…hmm…actually…uh…"
"Wait…I remember something!" Jay said. "I just remembered…Frank and Victoria were drunk, and were trying to open up a big cooler of beer…"
…
…
…
…the son of two of the biggest movers and shakers in the town grinned at each other. One of them packed a heater, by which I mean a heating ray. Flicking his bic, Frank held it to the cooler's clasp…and it snapped open. Giggling madly, the two each grabbed a bottle of hooch and took off, leavin' the bic behind…and it started to burn up the case and the rug…
It was at that moment that Grey had announced that little Daveigh was out like a light. So the question was: how to wake sleepin' beauty up? That question got null and void in two seconds when all the lights went out and Gizmo's voice cackled in that mad sciency way as he and Eclipse appeared in the doorway.
"I've come for the girl." The evil dragon crooned, pointing one claw at the sleeping little girl. "Don't get in my way or you'll be dead as a fried oyster."
"I don't THINK so." Sandy said, getting in his way. He launched himself at Eclipse and the two went at it like MAD.
Then Gizmo tried to grab Daveigh, rushing for her…only Ashton, still drunk as a skunk, was stumbling around. He landed right on top of Daveigh after drunkenly slamming into Gizmo, a dork on dork collision. Daveigh woke up with a cry while I noticed smoke rising from the bathroom where the beer had been kept.
I quickly rushed in, eyes wide. Now I like it when a dame sets my HEART on fire, but not a home! Luckily I think quick. I rushed into the kitchen and kicked the cupboard open, tossing pots and pans over my shoulder 'till I found what I was lookin' for…flour.
I rushed back to the fire in the bathroom and tossed two huge bags of flower in, then whipped out a pistol I'd brought. BANG went a roscoe, zooming through the air and making the bags explode all over. The flour covered and extinguished the fire.
I returned triumphantly to the living room just in time to see everyone looking at me. I was covered in flour, but still proud. When they realized I'd put out a fire that coulda taken down the whole house, there was a respective whacking of the heads of Frank and Victoria. It was like they were the village bike, everybody got a turn. Eclipse was still giving Sandy trouble so I…took care of 'em.
"And THAT…is how it went down."
"Applesauce, you big liar!" Charlie laughed. "Come on, what REALLY happened?"
"I'm telling you, I put out a fire!" Jay insisted.
"You're not telling the story right." Sandy said. "Let ME tell you how it happened…"
…
…
…
…the lights had gone out, and the foul beast stood there, tail curling up as he gazed evilly at his target…the innocent Daveigh. His partner stood by him, giggling evilly and rubbing his grubby hands.
"I've come for the girl." The dragon said. "Do not get in my way unless you wish to meet with sudden death…" It whispered.
"You'd try and hurt a little girl?!" I demanded to know, standing before the beast, clenching my fists.
"Oh, it won't hurt to be digested, I'm capable of that kindness, I assure you." It said in its soft voice, like that of a siren.
"I will NOT allow you to do that!" I shouted. I quickly leapt through the air, and proceeded to swash some buckle. My claws sang as I leapt through the air, slicing at him, sending his piggy little assistant running away in fear.
Like two mighty forces of nature we clashed, slashing and striking with our claws, as the echo resounded through the air like the beating of a bell, a mighty CLANG after CLANG. Finally I quickly spun around and slashed diagonally, and slew the beast. It was sent down, down, groaning in pain.
I turned my attention to Gizmo, who suddenly collided with the young Mr. Ashton. The two stumbled around like drunken sailors…fitting, since Ashton WAS drunk, and Mr. Ashton fell down upon the lovely maiden Daveigh, awakening her.
I looked up through the doorway into the sky and feared for my father, seeing the outline of the ship crashing down…but it was spared a watery grave and landed safely, though how I do not remember. A few moments later Jay emerged as a ghost, covered in flour, speaking about putting out a fire. Frank and Victoria turned as red as beets, and we decided then and there that they would walk the plank, go through the gauntlet, and we all took turns whacking them.
"And THAT…is exactly what happened." Sandy said.
"Now hold ON!" Frank and Victoria said. "That doesn't sound completely right either!"
"Yeah, how did the airship come down?" Ark wanted to know.
"You totally downplayed my part! And you did not "swash some buckle", there was no "ringing of claws clanging" or that crap!" Jay protested.
"Well YOU don't know what happened." Sandy said, jabbing a claw at him. "So unless somebody else has a-"
"Oh, you guys!" Grey laughed, coming back over to them, picking his teeth with a chopstick. "Luckily for you, I remember EVERYTHING. You're all forgetting some big parts…like how Daveigh REALLY woke up, how the ship landed safely, and what happened after it did!"
"Well then, what happened?" They all asked at the same time. Grey grinned.
"Well…you see…let's get one thing straight. It's true that Gizmo ran away in fear when Sandy launched himself at Eclipse while Jay ran to the bathroom with two bags of flour…"
…
…
…
…but then who should he knock into but the very drunk young Ashton. The laboratory assistant and the young man stumbled around, and then Ashton fell face first downward…
Onto the sleeping form of Daveigh…his lips meeting hers. In that one instant, Daveigh's eyes opened, and both of their eyes widened.
Then, a moment later, the sleeping princess and the boy who would one day be her prince charming said the same exact thing.
"EWWWW!" They shouted, leaping up and waving their hands in the air as they hopped back and forth.
Meanwhile, Sandy and Eclipse were rolling around on the ground, completely lost in the fight and not paying attention to anything else. They rolled into the couch, which Sandy slammed on Eclipse over and over, Sandy was soon flung through the air and he hit a nice red chair, breaking it in half. The two launched themselves at each other one more. Fangs glistened. Blood flowed. Finally it happened, Sandy scored a good enough punch on the dark dragon's snout and it knocked him to his knees.
Meanwhile, Jay had accidentally misfired…the flour hadn't put out the fire, though it HAD gotten him soaked. Instead, the bullet ricocheted off the wall and struck the flour at such an angle is spread over him. Blinded, he let out a cry and fired again, and this time it hit the sink, sending water soaring up through the air, dousing out the fires of the bathroom.
Leroy, meanwhile, was laughing his head off at the hopelessness of those upon the skyship. The dark lord had triumphed.
Or so he thought. He didn't know that Hyena was concentrating…and that he'd quickly removed said remote from Leroy's mouth while the betrayer had been laughing, head thrown back. He then tossed it to Stitch, who crushed it in his hands.
When Leroy realized this, his eyes widened…and then he pressed his OTHER remote by striking a point on his tail. The bomb activated and the skyship began to plummet, but Hyena was already working Leroy over in punishment.
"I'll bet you wanted Angel as your own, huh?" He asked, grinning. "I'll bet you wanted to love her UP…"
He raised one hand and Leroy slammed into the roof.
"And DOWN…"
He pointed downwards and Leroy hit the table, breaking it in half.
"And ALL-A-ROUND!"
He spun a claw in a circle and Leroy went spiraling around and around, turning green in the face while Stitch raced to the command deck, looking out the front window. All of Kokaua Town was dark…there were no lights on. How could they land?
It was at that moment that the one with a rainbow upon his legs got a brainstorm. Pressing a switch upon a magical machine, he tapped his foot as little sparks of many-colored light flew up around him, and a rocking, kick-ass tune filled the ears of all around! He was no village idiot…he was more like a royal bard!
I don't mind you comin' here…and wastin' all my time!
Cuz when you're standing oh-so-near…I kinda lose my mind!
It's not the perfume that you wear…it's not the ribbons in your hair!
I don't mind you comin' here…and wastin' all of my time!
He turned around, and proceeded to dance to the music, allowing himself to get lost in its flow as the lights became bigger and brighter as they rose around him and out the windows and broken-open patches of house that had resulted from the feast's "shenanigans".
I don't mind you hangin' out…and talkin' in your sleep!
It doesn't matter where you've been…as long as it was deep, yeah!
You always knew to wear it well, and…you look so fancy, I can tell!
I don't mind you hangin' out…and talkin' in your sleep!
He suddenly pointed upwards, moving his hips as he sang, eyes closed. The balls of light became full beams that swirled around and out the windows, lighting up the night sky. Suddenly everyone understood what to do. They climbed up to the roof and immediately began ripping holes in it as the bard sang.
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to feed!
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to bleed! (bleed, bleed, bleed.)
Finally they'd ripped enough of the roof out. The bard's light now shone high up into the starry sky. Stitch and the others now saw a beautiful, rainbow light emanating from Kokaua Town, so bright and beautiful that it illuminated the whole town as if it was a sun of a thousand colors, sending it's light bathing all over…showing them a large hill where they could land. And all the while, the bard continued to sing and dance around the house as his light shone higher and brighter as everyone joined in, their emotions rising as one.
I don't mind you comin' here…and wastin' all my time-time!
Cuz when you're standing oh-so-near…I kinda lose my mind, yeah!
It's not the perfume that you wear…it's not the ribbons in your hair!
I don't mind you comin' here…and wastin' all of my time!
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to feed!
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to leave!
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to feed!
I guess you're just what I needed, (just what I needed,)
I needed someone to see!
Hey, hey…so free me!
Now the bard was one with the rainbow as the light rose into the night sky, and the others sang out the refrain and he twirled and spun around, dancing.
You're just what I needed!
You're just what I needed!
You're just what I needed!
The bard beamed brightly and raised a single clawed finger into the air, pointing in a pose.
Yea-aaah, yeah-yeaaaaah!
And then he leapt into the air, landing one knee and one foot, one claw still pointed up to the stars as the music on his special machine ended and everyone cheered, clapped and hugged.
It was then that suddenly, the black-furred experiment stripper came back into view…she had been accidentally knocked into the closet by Sandy and Eclipse's fight, and upon stumbling out, she'd landed in a puddle of water caused by Jay's misfire.
"Do you know who I am?!" She growled, her body dripping and slowly beginning to slough paint off.
"Yeah…a hottie-hot-hottie!" Sandy said.
Grey blinked, suddenly noticing the pink beneath the black. "Uh…well, she IS a sort of "hot grandma"…"
"The stripper" grinned. "It seems THOU have it right. I am…the queen. I am Angel."
Everyone immediately gasped in surprise as Angel walked over to the drink table, glaring at Sandy and Jay, who gulped in fear.
"I may have the body…of a weak and feeble woman…but I have the heart and stomach…of a concrete elephant!"
"Prove it!" An EXTREMELY inebriated Gnash dared her.
"Oh I WILL!" Angel insisted. She raised some punch up for all to see as the black paint sloughed off in droves and swished it around in the crystalline glass. "First I'm going to have a little drinky…" She said in a singsong tone….that switched to one of pure venom. "And then I'm going execute every bloody one of you for RUINING my night." She raised the glass to her lips…
…
…
…
…"See the little trog-lin, see its little feet…and it's little nosy-wose, isn't the trog-lin sweet?"
"Aye!"
Almost every single person at the party, except for Grey, who was holding Daveigh and Ashton in his arms, was strewn out around the house, which had collapsed on its beams. It was not at ground level and people were laying over chairs, swinging on their stomachs on top of chandeliers or just sitting on their rumps. Most were naked or at least half-naked, and all of them were INCREDIBLY hung over. A great deal of them were still drunk. Angel crawled out from underneath an umbrella and held her head while Sandy and Jay held each other by one arm and stopped their song about the lovely little trog-lin to look down at the queen from a ladder, while Queen Angel rubbed her head in confusion.
"Wait a tick…I believe…I was supposed to do something very important to all of thee today…" She mumbled.
"I vaguely remember something about a fire…" Frank muttered.
"I'm pretty sure I was here for SOMETHING…" Gizmo admitted. "Though I can't for the life of me remember WHAT…"
"I may have killed you…" Eclipse said slowly, pointing at Gizmo. "But I think I was upset about it…"
"Do you want to hear about the trog-lin or NOT?" Sandy asked, as Jay let out a throaty hiccup.
"AYE." They all shouted. Grey laughed, he, Ashton and Daveigh weren't drunk at all, but they wanted to hear the song all the same.
"Good, now I can finish this song up, with a little bit of luck…" Sandy said, groaning.
"But who's gonna clean this mess up?" Somebody asked.
"Not me!" Evan insisted.
At that moment, Jude fell out of the tree branch he'd been in, landing on the wreckage of the couch that lay in pieces before the pile of people, laughing madly.
"Luck! Ha-ha-ha-ha! LUCK! Don't you get it?"
"No." They all groaned.
"With a little bit of luck, wiiith a little bit of luck…someone else will do the bloomin' work!" Jude sang out.
And so…they all learned an important lesson about responsibility…fire safety…and most importantly, to drink less…and thus, they all lived happily ever after…most of the time.
"The end." Grey said, grinning. "Now then…if you'll excuse me…"
He hopped off the bench and bowed. "I must be off. Fare thee well!"
He left the park, leaving them all to talk amongst themselves…but after walking far off, he then turned around to look directly at Daveigh, sighing.
"But what the princess didn't know was that the bard loved her very, very much…and he wanted to love her as much as a husband…or even as a father…but the bard knew that though he was magical, though he could wrap himself in the rainbow, he could never truly care for the little princess the way a princess deserved to be cared for…because he was a beast inside and in…and he could barely take care of himself…let alone…let alone a princess."
Grey walked father away, and watched Daveigh from the park, tears forming in his eyes, his voice breaking. "And so he knew…one day…that he would have to say goodbye to her…just like he had said goodbye to the princess's mother the queen, and the just and kind queen before that, who had been so special to him…and that…made him sad…sadder than anything he'd ever felt before…"
He wiped his eyes, sniffling. "But the beast that was a bard was also happy…because he would still care as much as he could for the princess all the same…and he would be there to catch her…should she ever fall…"
With that, he wiped his eyes, and walked off, heading for his home. But before he did, he tossed one final look back at the others in the park. "And they all…lived happily…ever after." He said, smiling gently as walked down the sidewalk, the last tears falling from his cheeks and hitting the sidewalk.
Author's Note:
Well, I hope you all liked that little interlude, because I know I did. I thought up this chapter after watching the "Monk" episode "Mr. Monk and the Kid". I just thought it was so sad, yet so beautiful, I couldn't help but cry when Mr. Monk read the kid the fairy tale near the end.
You know, this reminds me of something C.S Lewis said. "I now enjoy the fairy tales better than I did when in childhood; being now able to put more in, of course, I get more out." Now think about that.