Chapter 10
Problems
I closed the door to the estate. The tour with Korra was truly amazing, and I couldn't believe how great of a tour guide she was. I was really surprised to see how caring, and thoughtful she was for me. She was incredible.
I looked at the time. It was already eleven. Wow. We weren't planning to be gone so long, but we took our time at the small little beach while we talked for a long time about small things. "Dad," I called, and didn't get a response. I tried again with the same outcome. I was starting to worry. He didn't even text me or anything while I was out. I was getting antsy. My father hasn't had one of his episodes since we moved into the city, but he did have a nack for it.
I immediantly dropped my bags, and made my way up to his room. I was saddened to find his bed empty. I was already drawing conclusions that he was probably trying to drink his problems away. I quickly made my way to the workshop behind the house.
"Dad?" I opened the door and looked disappointed at him. He was out on the ground with many beer bottles rolling around. Tears rimmed my eyes. He often got drunk, and did this when he had and episode about my mother. He goes crazy and thinks it was his fault mom died, because he was the one that was driving. It must've been worse for him since I was also gone the whole day. I felt so bad that I wasn't here to help him.
I took in more of the setting, and some of our draftings were now ripped, wet, and smelt of alchohol. I shook my head in disappointment, and the tears shed. "Dad," I said softly crying as I knelt besides him. I could tell he has been crying from his puffed eyes and the resedue left on his cheeks. I set a hand on his shoulder. "Come on dad. It's not your fault," I told his unconsious self. "I'm here now," I shook him slightly trying to wake him. He was completly out right now, and I couldn't drag him up to his room so I went back and grabbed a blanket. I laid it out on him and walked up to my room.
I laid in my bed not quiet able to fall asleep. I hated it when my father did this. It scared me everytime. I thought it would get worse everytime, and it has, but I'm afraid it might lead to him in the hospital next.
I tossed and turned remembering the events of the night that my mother had passed. We were driving back from a formal get together for my father's company. We were driving along smoothly when we were hit by a drunk driver. Everything was a blurr that seemed to last hours than slowly was drowned out by blackness.
Me and my father had survived with some minor injuries, but mom was out cold, and they wouldn't allow use to see her body. I was so small and confused. It broke my heart to see my father crying and frantically trying to get into the ambulance that mom was in. It still breaks my heart today to see him act the same way.
I slowly fell into a calming sleep.
On Sunday my father had locked himself up in his room. He didn't like me seeing him like this, but the fact that he could be getting drunk, or doing something else in his room alone scared me. I spent the day alone in my room also, finishing up some home work and more.
It was getting late while I was working on more designs when I was shocked to hear my father come out of his room. I slowly made my way up to check on him. He terribly smelt of strong alchohol, and appeard drunk. He must have his own stash in his bedroom.
"Asami, I'm so sorry," He slurred his words. "Just go back into your room," he waved me off. I looked at him bewildered. I knew he was on his way to get more alchohol.
"Dad," I walked up to him and took his arm. "It's not your fault," I said softly, and led him down stairs to the living room to sit down. He began to resist and pull away from me. He was angryily crying, and muttered on about how it was in fact his fault.
Seeing him like this made tears poor out of my eyes. I tried my best to try and restrain him, and sooth him with a softer tone in my voice, but it was hard because my voice cracked while I did my best to calm him down.
He eventually curled up and just cried. I looked at him. He looked like a young child disappointed in themselves because they did something their parents didn't approve of. This sight made me cry more. I cuddled around him trying to reasure him, and I did this till I noticed his breathing became slower. He was asleep now. I put a blanket around him and went up to my room.
It was almost like I was the one caring for him; he was the child, and I was stuck as the adult.
I woke up to my alarm with a stuffy nose. I looked at the clock, it was 6:30, and the bus would be coming in about an hour so I put out my alarm and laid for a while.
I didn't really want to go to school today, not with what happened to my father on my back the whole day. I thought about what I was going to miss, and remembered the math project. Presentations were today and I didn't want to pass up on it. I still laid in my bed not wanting to move, but I relunctenly got up only to get ready, and wear a pear of sweats, a t- shirt, and my favorite green coat. Too lazy to fix up my hair like I usually did, I threw it up in a ponytail. I didn't want to go through the trouble with my contacts so I grabbed my glasses and went downstairs to grab an apple.
Before I left the estate I ordered one of the servants to check up on my dad, tell him to get some fresh air, that he's not allowed to drink, and that he should rest. Even though I knew he wasn't exactly going to listen, I did want him to know I was going to help him get throught this.
I walked towards the bus stop in the morning breeze. The sky was covered in patches of clouds, and it was cooler than usual. I put my head phones in wanting to avoid any conversations. I was the first one there, and I sat on the curb to tired to stand. More people started to arrive after a few minutes. I kept my head down because no one should be approaching a girl with her head phones and head down, you just didn't do it.
I could see Korra approach and sit next to me. I didn't want to talk much so I kept my ear buds in trying to make it obvious I wasn't going to be talking. I was glad when she didn't say anything, but just sat next to me. I hoped I didn't come off as annoyed though, because I didn't want her to think that I was. Her presence was comforting for me, and I enjoyed it. It took my mind off my father just a little bit.
I was on my way to lunch, and I was feeling down this whole day. My presentation went well as I thought it would, but the thoughts of my father were still really bothering me. I walked into the lunch room watching and listening to everyone mingle and talk. It was overwhelming, and I was taken back by a large wave of nausua flow through my brain. It was beginning to pound.
I was hungry so I took some fruits from the concession stand and walked my way back outside for some fresh air. I sat out behind the school on the large side of the stairs. I haven't seen the whole group together while I was there, and I just wanted some peace so I put my earbuds in and listened to some music. People occasionally passed by, but ignored me. I sat there taking in the fresh air trying to clear my mind. I was surprised to feel my phone vibrate in my coat.
Where r u? R u alright?- Korra
I looked at my phone for a moment. As I was going to respond, I decided against it. I didn't want to drag Korra into my problems. It's not like I haven't delt with this by myself alone...How alone I thought I was. My phone vibrated again.
Do you need to talk? U seemed a bit off since last night...anyways im here for u ok -Korra
She did tell me she would be there to talk. I thought about it for a little bit. Did I really want to drag her into my family mess? No, not really. I decided against telling her. She didn't exactly deserve to deal with my problems. She's already helped me a lot just for being there. I got my phone out to text her back.
No, Im fine...just needed some fresh air. I wrote. I bet she knew I wasn't quiet telling the whole truth.
I sat there for the rest of break.
I was already changed before the bell for class the began rang. I sat on the bench for a while waiting for the call that we were allowed outside. I was beginning to get impatient. I was trying to avoid Korra for I knew she was probably going to ask again. Lin yelled through the locker room. We could leave for roll call now, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I quickly got up and walked for role call.
It was hard to avoid Korra because I did stand next to her for role call, and we were partners for our activities today. After warm-ups we walked to the field for our excercises.
"Hey," she walked up to my side, and put her hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see her worried for me. I ached on the inside at her puppy dog eyes. She gave me a reasurring squeeze and nodded at me before walking over to start. I was surprised when she didn't push me to talk. It felt good knowing she wasn't going to exactly push me for an explanation, and that she wasn't going to do anything forceful to get any answers from me.
"Asami, do you still want to go to the cafe afterschool?" Korra asked as we walked back into the locker room. "You don't have to if you don't want. You could have time to yourself for a-," She was so nice, and thoughtful for others. She should totally get the 'Most Amazing Human Being' award.
"No, I would love to go still," I told her. "Besides I could go for a muffin," I gave a fake smile. I didn't really feel like going out, but I didn't exactly want to go back home either. I needed something to get my father off my mind for a little bit.
We had finished up with homework and started walking home. We walked in silence. I could see Korra catching glances at me every now and than, but I wasn't really able to get her full expression because I kept my head tilted down. Korra abruptly broke the silence.
"I can't stand it anymore," Korra said after a few minutes. I looked back questioningly. "Asami, I know you're not okay, and I really don't like seeing you so- so...distant.
I was surprised at her last statement, but I put my head down shook it. "I don't know Korra," I said.
"Come on," she took my arm and led me to a bench on the side. Her strong grip felt comforting and reassuring. I relunctantly sat down.
"I just don't think...I should drag you into my problems," I said quietly while trying to avoid eye contact because if I saw those eyes, I swear I would be over with.
"Well since I'm your friend now, I'm entitled to being dragged into your problems," she took my hand. "And same vice versa," she gave a small smile. We sat closely, and now I could smell her, so refreshing. She had no idea how much of a good friend she was for me. It was so relieving to know she cared. I've never had anyone to really do that for me. It was just that I didn't want to trouble her so.
After thinking about it, and looking into her bright blue eyes I gave in, "If I tell you, promise you won't annoy me anymore," I teased her trying to cheer up the moment. She smiled and tightened her grip on my hand. I gave a squeeze back, and I could feel my face start to heat up. I hoped my blush wasn't that obvious.
"I can't really promise that, Asami," she wore her crooked grin, that was just so dorky, and I laughed. It was the first time today.
I confided in the her. She was the first person that's ever known this part of my life, besides the servants, and they didn't really care for it. I told her everything. How I was so alone; how my father drank; how it scared me; how my mother passed. Korra listened contently, nodding when to nod, and making faces in response to some things. When I seemed to choke up on my words she told me it was okay if I didn't want to talk further and gave my hand another squeeze, but I couldn't stop now, so I did my best to push through it.
We talked for a while about it, but eventually got up to make our way home. I walked Korra up to the front steps of her house. As she was about to walk in I felt compelled to take her wrist. She whipped her head around, and raised an eyebrow. Her bright blue eyes looked back questioningly at me, and I just couldn't really take it anymore. I pulled her into a hug.
I swore I could've stayed there forever. She smelt so good and refreshing, and she was so reassuring. It felt so right. "Thanks for talking, Korra," I whispered into her ear.
"I'm glad I could help," her breath on my ear sent goose bumps through me, and I clung to her more.
Wow, how can she be so nice, and caring, and smell so good? I asked myself still clinging to her. When she let go I felt a wave of disappointment, but tried my best for it not to show.
"See tomorrow, Asami," she called back, and I could tell her face was flushed a bit, and this caused mine to also.