Pseudo Styles: A Naruto Fanfiction

by Alpha Vii

[Undergoing retrofit] Clan desolation reduced. Development heavy plot line where the canon generation is privy to the cloth they are cut from. Rapid growth, and... escalation prone events.

10. Volume 10

Pseudo Styles: A Naruto Fanfiction: Volume 10 Ninja Hidden in the Leaf / Tsunade Retrieval Arc Chapters: 1-3

[Important Notice: Retrofit pending. If you are reading this, the chapter has yet to be overhauled. Plot and character points subject to dynamic change. Chapters that have had this message removed have been - for the most part - resolved.]

Welcome back kunoichi and shinobi! You know the rules by now. However I think I should point out that this fanfic has drawn inspiration from dozens of fans who wright about the Narutoverse. I'd like to thank this community for having shared such vast creativity. Without those people this story wouldn't have some of the insight mentioned in the previous chapters.

Alright here we go: In this volume the jonin attempt to file their reports on the events from the village border. There will be some confusion as to how something like that went down. After all; It's not common for civilians to learn jutsu.

===Volume 10===

—Chapter 1: Was this war?—

Hiruzen had arrived in his office after admitting Phantom to the hospital. He was surprised when he received a report that the invasion was nearly stopped in it's entirety at village border. He read the statistics and was shocked to see that no injuries were inflicted on the people of Konoha, "This can't be right! Anbu, get me Izumo and Kotetsu. I need to hear their statements."

—Yamanaka Compound—

Izumo and Kotetsu were waiting for their psyche evaluation when an anbu showed up, "Lord Hokage would like to see you both right away."

Kotetsu groaned, "Right away." Kotetsu turned to his fellow gate guard, "Here comes formal humiliation 101."

Izumo watched his partner disappear and sighed, "I'm not even sure what we saw was real!"

—Hokage's Office: Five minutes later—

Izumo arrived in Hiruzen's office out of breath. Hiruzen asked, "Why didn't you use the shunshin?"

Izumo's eye twitched, "Because I haven't had a reason to use in in several years sir! I'm out of practice from sitting at that outpost for the better part of a decade!"

Kotetsu chuckled, "I told you midnight training was vital."

Hiruzen coughed, "Back to the matter at hand. I have failed to understand how an invasion force of two villages and a giant summon were unable to get into the village. Furthermore I have never heard of a battle with zero injured. What happened out there?"

Kotetsu looked at Izumo breathing heavily and sighed, "The shinobi stationed on the wall were unable to repel the summon. We weren't prepared to fight such a large opponent with what we had available. Furthermore, We couldn't manage to launch any jutsu that could reach the summon."

Hiruzen groaned, "That is not what I read in the report. According to this, the attack failed to breach the wall. When did the situation change?"

Kotetsu flinched but wasn't sure what to tell him.

Izumo finally managed to respond, "Kids sir. A large group of unregistered brats managed to get onto the wall and cast jutsu on a scale that was unthinkable!"

Kotetsu sighed, "Mobile core; Grand waterfall; A ridiculously strong gale palm and grand fire ball collaboration."

Izumo added, "Don't forget that other earth technique. I think they called it mountain spire."

Hiruzen grabbed his brow and laughed morbidly, "Oh, I wish I didn't know what you are talking about but I think those were the non shinobi members of the Council of Pranksters. The genin set them on the village when they create those more massive pranks. I didn't know before now but the children from the last generation of genin must be teaching the future generations a type of chakra moulding that Enigma Vii brought to them."

Kotetsu rubbed his jaw, "Does this have to do with those weird stances?"

Hiruzen sighed, "Actually those stances are what made the difference."

Izumo began to sweat, "Those dances? How is that suppose to make that much of difference?"

The Hokage leaned back and answered, "Vii dubbed it Physical Molding. Those kids somehow manipulate elements by using their whole bodies to transform their chakra natures. In combination with the standard method they perform techniques on a scale that even I can't match."

Kotetsu asked, "Why didn't the academy implement that technique? If undergrads could do it then why not us?"

Hiruzen raised his eyebrows, "Iruka's team is still trying to figure out how they're doing it. He's not willing to take lessons from the boy who showed him up several times. On the other hand Vii is concerned at the amount of damage a person could do with an adult's chakra coils. He's convinced the C.O.P. to teach only children. You'd need to earn his trust to learn that technique."

Hiruzen rubbed his goatee and sighed, "I may have to acknowledge those kids as some sort of reserve unit. Issue is; those kids might not accept the leaf headband after the system failed them. Most of the kids that failed the academy turned to the C.O.P. for backdoor training. I'm beginning to think these kids aren't learning enough at the academy to pass the final exams."

—C.O.P. Private Training Ground—

Naruto entered the field and addressed some of the next gen shinobi, "Alright guys. Vii is out of commission after the chunin exam finals, therefore we're going to be using on of his backup lessons. Vii left us a large supply of chakra paper for a rainy day. Today we'll be finding your elemental affinities."

One of the students asked, "Is that really necessary?"

Another added, "We've already managed to mould most elements with physical moulding. Why does our affinity matter?"

Naruto sighed and had Shikamaru step up, "Physical moulding is currently only able to produce large scale techniques on its own. Ninjutsu is significantly less forgiving than physical moulding however with it you can master elements with far more precision that is necessary for shinobi to learn." He saw several student groan and grinned, 'Trump card time.' "Physical moulding is also a lot less powerful on it's own than when you combine it with ninjutsu. Using ninjutsu the untamed elements turn into alpha predators. The reservists from yesterday needed to combine physical and spiritual moulding to properly defend the village walls. Without either the village walls would have been breached."

—Thirty minutes later—

Most of the students had begun attempting the basic techniques for the elements revealed by the paper.

Naruto was observing the students when a number of shouts caught his attention. He ran over to a large group of students and entered the perimeter they made. He was shocked to find a redheaded boy surrounded in a massive shell of roaring water with blocks of ice swarming around him.

The boy released his technique and the freezing water poured onto the field eliciting quite a few complains. He finally fell to his knees and asked, "That felt different than before. What happened?"

Naruto walked up to the boy and asked, "Who are you?"

The boy smiled and jumped up, "Hiyaku Uzumaki; Transfer from the village of eddies Dattebaryu!"

Naruto smiled, "That must mean you were there during the dark years Dattebayo."

Hiyaku rubbed his head, "How much time passed anyway?"

Shikamaru sighed as he identified the conversation, "Ugh, this is a whole new breed of troublesome!"

Naruto squinted his eyes and seemed to be trying to remember something he had neglected for a long time, "I think Vii said it was around twenty years. I don't think he knew when he told me."

Hiyaku winced, "That's way longer than we thought! some of the durability seals on the ruins must have far outlasted their expected lifespans for the decay to have taken so long."

Shikamaru rubbed his brow, "Any chance you can tell us what happened here? Judging by the ice you must have used a binary technique, but I've never seen someone make such controlled ice before…Well excluding Haku but he's always had it."

Hiyaku sighed, "I tried to cast a water prison technique but I think I started moving while I did. I don't remember how I was moving but it felt like the technique was flowing into my body as I did Dattebaryu."

Naruto scratched his head, "I'll ask Vii about it when he recovers and see if he understands what happened. Try to practice without moving for now until you have it down Dattebayo."

Hiyaku shook his head, "I already had that technique mastered when I left Uzu. The Uzumaki are a lot more militaristic than the leaf village, so everyone is expected to have experience in a few forms of combat. The dark ages weren't the only time that Uzushio was attacked Dattebaryu!"

Shikamaru nudged the blond, "Your tick is coming back."

Naruto facepalmed, "Oh man that took months to get out of my system!"

Hiyaku giggled, "Never thought I'd hear an Uzumaki try to get rid of that habit!"

Naruto cocked an eyebrow, "It's a family trait?"

Hiyaku frowned, "Wait a minute, how long have you lived here?"

Naruto grinned, "My whole life Dattebayo!"

Hiyaku's eyes widened, "But that means you're…You're from the head family?"

The two shinobi froze at that. Naruto asked, "What do you mean by that?"

Hiyaku stumbled and answered, "The only Uzumaki who was a resident of Konoha was sent here to…Oh Kami, you're the…"

Naruto grabbed the boys mouth and looked around quickly, "For both of our sakes keep that to yourself!"

When the boy nodded Naruto released him. Hiyaku asked, "Why haven't you contacted Uzushio? You realize you're basically the clan heir right?"

Naruto staggered back at that and turned to Shikamaru, "Hold down the fort Shikamaru. I need some air."

Shikamaru nodded but scratched his head as Naruto took off. He turned to Hiyaku and asked, "You should probably know that he was orphaned at birth. Family is a really touchy subject for the guy."

Hiyaku's eyes widened, "Oh. So that's what he wanted me to keep to myself."

Shikamaru turned, "The heck are you talking about?"

Hiyaku grinned sheepishly, "Sorry man. That would be telling."

—Hokage Tower: Coincidental Timing—

Naruto was about to barge into Hiruzen's office when two chunin walked out.

Izumo paused before asking, "We're not in any danger are we?"

Naruto meanwhile had entered the office and took a seat.

The doors closed and the two shinobi shrugged.

—Hokage's Office—

Hiruzen gazed at the boy and noticed he seemed extremely distraught, "What happened to the source of infinite energy to cause such a depressed look?"

Naruto sighed and held his knees, "Just met one of my cousins from Uzushio. He had trouble with a jutsu and we had a bit of catching up."

Hiruzen became worried at the boy's current outlook and asked, "What pray tell caused this downpour then?"

Naruto frowned and took a moment to check that he recognized the anbu, "I found out something I didn't know about mom."

Hiruzen hesitated. Even after learning his parents were alive his heritage was still a sensitive subject for the boy, "How deep does it go?"

Naruto sighed wearily, "A bit deeper than my old man. Hiyaku realized I was part of the main family."

Hiruzen froze. Even he only vaguely remembered that detail, "Oh dear. After all those years I'd completely forgotten about that. Your mother didn't like to talk about her clan after that day and the whole notion of her status eventually faded into history. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this before now. It seems the dark ages may have been a blessing as well as a curse."

Naruto sighed and asked, "I'm not sure, but I think this is what Vii meant when he said people who become lost can appear evil. I know Hiyaku didn't mean anything malicious when he told me about my clan status, but it feels like if I had taken it the wrong way I might have fallen into resentment as a response. It's a bit terrifying to realize that others might not have escaped the pull of such darkness in the past."

Hiruzen leaned back and asked, "Vii seems to have revealed something to you that he probably learned much later in life. That darkness is something that many shinobi learn to disregard as it makes it far more complicated to fight with an opponent when you can see what caused the darkness inside them. You might need to take those thoughts with a decent amount of salt lest they unravel you."

Naruto nodded. However after a moment he asked, "Do you know how Vii is able to adapt to the darkness?"

Hiruzen sighed and turned to the arena, "I honestly don't know. All we can do is wait and see." Hiruzen turned back to Naruto and spoke steadily, "I may need to send you on a mission with Jiraiya in the near future. It needs to happen soon but I realize you may need a few days to readjust from the recent confrontation. I'll give you three days to decide when you become ready."

Naruto grinned and answered, "Thank you Jiji. I won't let you down!"

As the boy turned to leave, Hiruzen asked, "I recently heard the C.O.P. took part in village defense outside of the chain of command. I'm likely going to have to address the council about unlicensed shinobi bolstering our defenses. Is there a formal title for this task force?"

Naruto grinned and asked, "How's 'the ninja hidden in the leaf' sound?"

Hiruzen chuckled, "I'm beginning to suspect Vii had a hand in the name?"

Naruto shrugged, "Kinda. He suggested 'hidden leaves'. The C.O.P. flushed it out."

Hiruzen ended his mirth with a brief sigh, "You should know that this will put your group under extreme scrutiny in the near future. I am surprised that those kids agreed to do so much for no charge though."

Naruto smiled, "For those kids, that was nothing more than a training exercise. It's a rare opportunity that we get away with so many large scale jutsu." Naruto frowned, "Jiji, I'm not sure that war was the right identification of that event. I mean; Even with both of those nations contributing: Based on what those kids said they identified, those shinobi weren't ready for a large scale invasion. Besides the snake summon there wasn't much else that was brought to attack. Even with a second summon I don't think they would have lasted long."

Hiruzen furrowed his brow, "Underestimating the enemy is a dangerous tactic Naruto. However It's not one you often bother to make. How are you so confident that they didn't have an alternative strategy?"

Naruto looked at the aged Hokage and sighed, "I know about Gaara. Vii is always throwing around hidden messages when he identifies something strange. During the preliminaries Vii mentioned a red chakra that is toxic to almost everyone. I realized he was referring to jinchuriki when he maintained the concept of Gaara's 'mother'."

Hiruzen groaned, "I'm beginning to think Phantom's intel network has all nine jinchuriki pegged already! I'm curious as to how he would know about the harmful nature of a biju's chakra though."

Naruto rubbed his arm, "I'm worried about something Vii said before the first exam started. He said that the Leaf village has been somehow taking the strength of the Sand village away. It bothers me that we could do this to one of our allies." Naruto shook his head and steeled his gaze, "I can't accept that we called ourselves friends and then used them! That's something I just can't see my home land doing!"

Hiruzen lifted his tea and asked, "I doubt you've forgotten how the villagers have treated you. You must understand that people can be selfish. Our people have lived very safe lives due to those missions. Alone I can't convince the wind daimyo to stop sending us missions."

Naruto rubbed his hair in frustration, "Than why not vouch for suna? If our Daimyo knew what they could do then maybe he'd help restore the balance! I'm positive there's not a single puppet user in all of konoha. There has to be a way that we can both benefit from our alliance, because otherwise we're just waiting for this to happen again!"

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes, but slowly a proud smile graced his lips, "Someday I hope you do become Hokage. It takes great strength to be willing to go that far for one's friends. Even more to go that far for allies. I'll see what I can do about sending aid to Suna, however before that I need to meet with their people to see if they understand their situation."

Naruto grinned and nodded, "Thanks Jiji!"

===Chapter 1-2 Bridge===

—Chapter 2: Inspiring the legions—

—Two days later—

Naruto arrived at the COP training ground and groaned when he realized that a few of the kids were boasting about the incident with the wall. He spotted Vii sitting to the side and walked over, "Word is you suffered an allergic reaction to a genjutsu. Got something against birds?"

Vii half chuckled half groaned and sounded entirely like the gobi, "Man, I can't even tell them what brought me down because I had to vanish at that point. It wasn't even that stressful to deal with since I had absolutely no context for that era. Why can't I get to watch the sage of six annihilate the bunny biju? That would have been so worth it!"

Naruto frowned, "Didn't you say that fight put the world on the line?"

Vii shrugged, "When you're me, all the best fights happen at the end of an era. To be honest the age of the Bunny Goddess was maintained by endless cannibalism. Also I could have seen the sage himself seal her up!" Vii groaned at this point, "I can't even tell you what I saw! Man the future is so boring. You can't tell anyone anything!"

Naruto sighed, "Any idea how to get these kids Vii? I'm worried that their ambition is escaping our influence."

Vii nodded, "I do, however I hear that you know it as well. Hiruzen told me you've been an inspiration to him with your last encounter." Vii grinned and added, "You know what was wrong with that battle. It's time you teach these kids what it means to be a proud shinobi."

Naruto sighed as he began walking to the front of the group, "Here goes a lot."

Naruto arrived at the front of the group and raised his voice mildly, "Alright guys. Before we begin practice with summoning, I'm seeing some worrying behaviors from our reservists. Guy's I hate to be a killjoy but in all seriousness Suna launched that attack in an act of desperation. They are economically starved at present and sadly the leaf is currently responsible for that. This attack couldn't even be considered an act of war. If this was war you wouldn't be laughing about it so soon. Gloating is something that destroys good shinobi. To an enemy spy such actions are like finding a vein of gold. Shinobi who gloat are either spreading misinformation or sabotaging their homes. Which are you?"

Several people seemed ashamed at that as there was no doubt he knew for certain what they were discussing.

Naruto sighed, "That being said, misinformation is a devastating weapon that can cripple an invading force. Next week we'll be practicing camouflaging misinformation before an enemy. Trust me if you just spout something like it's a daily occurrence you will alert your trail that they're discovered. Alright, let's move on to today's lesson." Naruto asked, "Ready Vii?"

Vii groaned as he stood up, "I'll be fine for this. Alright crew. Who knows the handseals for summoning?"

—Two days later—

Iruka walked into the classroom to see the current years students already in their seats. He eyed the empty desks and asked, "Is there a field trip I have yet to hear about?"

Arashi Uchiha grinned smugly, "What makes you think we came unprepared?"

Iruka frowned as almost every went through the same set of hand signs, 'Why does that look so fam…'

POOF

Iruka facepalmed as an abundance of satchels appeared in front of the academy students, 'Even summoning techniques? Is no art safe from these kids?'

Genkaku Yamanaka smirked and asked, "What's on the agenda today?"

—? Hours later—

Iruka followed the students out the door and asked allowed, "What am I even doing here?" Suddenly Iruka heard a particular comment about a council meeting next week. The man narrowed his eyes, "Hang on. The shinobi council hasn't scheduled the next meeting yet. Why are those kids…kids…KIDS? Dear Kami that group is still active? No wonder! That must be what the Inuzuka have been ranting about!" Iruka narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "Don't tell me Vii is still poaching my students?!"

—Hokage's Office—

Hiruzen was just finishing the day's infestation of paperwork as he heard a knock on the door. He sighed when Iruka asked to enter, "Come in Iruka."

The man entered and came up to the desk, "Permission to speak freely sir!"

Hiruzen cocked an eyebrow, "I figured you already had something to say Iruka. I didn't issue an order, so there's no need to be so professional."

Iruka sighed, "R-right. I was wondering if you heard anything regarding the current batch of genin."

Hiruzen looked up with raised eyebrows before laughing, "Oh that's rich. Are you really telling me that you thought that group was disbanded? The whole year converted into an independent entity the day after the jonin's tests. I figured you'd be the first to know about it. Even the kids who failed the graduation exam were recruited into their ranks. They still go by that old moniker as well."

Iruka groaned, "I really must be slipping if I never realized that until now! How much have I missed?"

Hiruzen chuckled, "We were fortunate. Every other clan compound has been host to one of their raiding parties." Slowly he became serious, "I'm surprised that you haven't heard about this yet but almost a week ago a large group of undergrads scaled the wall and managed to dispel the spearhead of the attacking force with immense jutsu."

Iruka paled, "W…what? How?"

Hiruzen sighed, "I'm under the impression that the council of pranksters is hosting private training on a weekly basis. They must have learned the jutsu from there. I assume Vii is supplying them with tools and equipment to pull such stunts as well as a large supply of chakra paper. I hear he sent the academy a large amount of the paper a few months past."

Iruka winced, "That's what that was?"

Hiruzen glanced at the chunin, "What does that mean?"

Iruka sighed wearily, "I assumed it was left at the wrong location. How did Vii get so much of that paper?"

Hiruzen smiled, "Enigma is somehow dependent on sage chakra to produce jutsu of any kind. I don't know exactly what caused this however his mentor Phantom tells me it has to do with the abilities of a specific kind of host."

Iruka glanced about for a moment before asking, "He's one of those?"

Hiruzen sighed, "He's not a jinchuriki, at least not in the conventional sense. Anyway those two are able to polarize materials with sage chakra to invoke an amount of conductivity. I guess it can apply to plants as well."

Iruka rubbed his jaw, "Do you think it would work on metal?"

Chirp chirp chirp

Hiruzen half sighed half groaned, "Did you somehow miss the chunin exams altogether?"

—Fifth Day—

Hiruzen sighed as he waited for Naruto to arrive. Today he was planning on informing the shinobi council about the existence of the underground training. He heard someone sprinting to his office and a moment later the boy burst in.

Naruto huffed as he insured he'd have enough air for their conversation before saying, "Sorry I'm so late Jiji. The council voted to inform the students ahead of time."

Hiruzen grinned, "As long as you have everything ready. I am impressed by your group's integrity. It's not so often that children are so organized. Did you find an appropriate marking?"

Naruto grinned before nodding, "Vii is pretty generous with what he is willing to carve out of a plate. I don't know what he carved it from but it can take a hit." Naruto pulled out a multi plated headband. On the front plate was carved a chibi shinobi surrounded in leaves, "I hope to Kami this doesn't upstage the official leaf headband or I'm gonna end up really jealous."

Hiruzen reclined in his seat and groaned, "I would agree. If that's still as protective as the official headband that must be one tough metal. Do you have the list I asked for?"

Naruto nodded but scowled, "It was annoying to make because every day another couple kids finished the required training."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow and gestured for the list. Naruto handed it to him and after a few pages Hiruzen realized an issue, "If this list continues to grow that group will have more members than our shinobi forces! How did you get this many kids ready to fight?"

Naruto shrugged, "Since the academy takes care of history, math, and flower arrangements; we just taught them the rest."

Hiruzen gazed at the list with growing concern, "What exactly would that entail?"

Naruto scrunched his face and scratched his head, "Lemme see what I have off the top of my head. The first thing Vii did was find a supplementary taijutsu style. After that we went over physical moulding; A brief introduction to Bukijutsu; Stealth training took two weeks; One week we took requests for fields of interest; Intel gathering as well as infiltration; Sabotage, scouting and environmental awareness training, heh that week was fun! This week was summoning and next week is about planting misinformation. Every week we have the trainees go through the tree walking exercise to build up reserves and a skilled few have moved on to water walking after someone saw the council's private training."

Hiruzen had glanced several times at his pipe while Naruto said this and almost went through his whole pot of tea. He waited a few moments after Naruto was done before announcing, "That much progress is terrifying. Are you sure everyone is able manage such a rigorous schedule?"

Naruto allowed a fragment of a laugh to escape, "I admit a few students still haven't gotten up to speed with their stealth. Others suck at gathering intel, and I've seen a bunny laugh at the traps some of those kids made. In the end it doesn't really matter since everyone is able to find something they're brilliant at. Have you ever seen a shinobi who didn't have a weakness? At least now they can play to their strengths"

Hiruzen smiled, "Mind if I write that down to bring to the council? I think that might be inspiring enough to convince even the civilian members to begin reviving the academy standards."

Naruto's eye twitched, "Why am I surprised that they had a say in a ninja's training?"

The old man sighed, "They're more content this way. Are you ready for that mission I mentioned a while back?"

Naruto grinned, "If it weren't for my other commitments I'd have left already."

—Border of Sound and Rain—

Orochimaru was incredibly frustrated. Danzo's intel had been borderline useless during his encounter with that man. He had lost the use of two immensely powerful summons in that battle. Furthermore he was convinced that he heard the boy say that his ultimate jutsu had an alternative purpose than just summoning an endless legion. That this man knew about it before the snake prodigy was infuriating. Orochimaru arrived at the location he sent in his message and low and behold the self proclaimed god himself showed up with his favorite angle.

Pein spoke in a depreciating tone, "The Akatsuki doesn't welcome deserters. If you hadn't suggested you knew something vital then I'd have ignored your request. Tell me; What makes you think you are worthy to join our ranks once again?"

Orochimaru half grinned half snarled at the man, "I thought you might want to know that there is someone who has a special kind of beef with your allegations of godhood. I've had my last remaining spies gather what they could on this person and I've uncovered that he's an extreme anomaly. He goes by two names, Enigma Vii and Phantom Vii. When I encountered him in my attempt to impeach my mentor, that man did something not even you have shown the ability to do."

Konan scowled, "That's impossible. Lord Pain can perform any technique this world has to offer."

Pain held up his hand and asked, "What technique did he show you?"

Orochimaru chuckled (In that disgusting way of his), "Ku ku ku. I'm not convinced it was a technique at all. Before my eyes he altered his age twice. First from an adult to a child, then back to a teen." His grin became twisted as he observed the shock on both faces, "Not only that, He wielded several kekkei genkai at once. He used both wood and lava seallessly after casting something he called elemental shuffle. Before I left he informed me he didn't have a fixed elemental affinity. At one point he announced that he despised people who play god. I assume he'll hear about you at some point."

—Konoha: COP HQ—

Vii shuddered in his seat and Sasuke came over and asked quietly, "What's happening now?"

Vii looked nervously at the Uchiha and whispered, "I have no idea. Karma just jump started something but It must be really far away. I can't figure out what happened but to affect that much karma it must be big!"

Sakura walked over and asked, "What cha talking about?"

Both groaned and answered, "Secrets."

—Other Place—

Pain clenched his fists and asked, "He goes by an alias and denounces a god!?"

Orochimaru shrugged with a smug look on his face, "Then again he doesn't seem interested in fighting the real thing. Maybe you're off his radar?"

Pain snarled, "Are you saying that he compared you to a god? That blasphemer!"

Orochimaru sighed a started walking off, "While I'm aware your down a member right now I imagine you have something to get out of your system. Just know that my condition would be receiving samples from the people we/you take down. I have my own hobbies and they must be maintained somehow. Assuming you can provide that my army of reincarnated shinobi and samurai are to an extent at your disposal."

Konan almost retched at that and spoke with her robe in front of her mouth, "Hidan will destroy you for that. I advise you never let him find out."

Pain almost grinned before returning to his omnipresent frown, "I will send word to our members. Make sure you're present for the next meeting." Pain prepared to depart before he was interrupted.

Orochimaru eagerly added, "One last thing: According to my invasion forces there were several massive jutsu used to defend Konoha's border. Several of my sources have determined the cause was a large amount of children taught by an organization that outnumbers the Akatsuki. If it was just one I would have killed him for his nonsensical incompetence but most of my spies identified the group as children from the village. They all agreed that these children had no registrations among them spare their leaders."

Nagato frowned, "Does this organization have a name?"

Orochimaru's eye twitched but he nodded, "They call themselves the council of pranksters."

Konan scoffed, "That's adorable! The snake is scared of a bunch of brats!"

Orochimaru shrugged, "A bunch of brats casting mobile core, grand waterfall, and casting a damn collaboration of wind and fire that gave one of my largest summons a nasty tan before it escaped being turned into a scorch mark? I worry that under the cover of his genin form that man taught them something powerful. If these children progress like this you will be facing a massive influx of jonin grade shinobi by their graduation exams."

—Konoha: Village Gates—

Jiraiya glanced at the sun as it rose into the sky, "Come on Gaki, I haven't got all week."

Suddenly Naruto appeared next to Jiraiya with his eyes squinted shut. As he opened them he jumped and shouted gleefully, "Hah! I did it! Take that Vii! You're no longer the fastest genin around! Across the village in a single bound, woo that was intense!"

Jiraiya's jaw nearly left a third footprint as he stared at the blond, "Dear Kami where did you learn to do that?"

Naruto rapidly punched the air as he answered, "Vii has the whole council working on that jutsu. I decided I would push it farther than anyone else!" He suddenly stood up and faced the sannin, "Any chance we can train on the way to…Actually where are we going?"

Jiraiya smirked, "Sensei decided he's finally pushing his luck. We're off to get his successor so he can retire."

Naruto's face fell, "Oh. I didn't realize the invasion had him so rattled." Suddenly he glared at Jiraiya, "You'd better know a decent candidate! If we're bringing in some dirt bag I'm gonna personally end you!"

Jiraiya tensed, "You better not say something like that to Tsunade Senju. She could blow you to pieces with a single punch!"

Naruto smirked, "She'd better. If I find out she's slipped one bit then I'll have to pound her into shape!"

Jiraiya giggled at that before he felt an extraordinary amount of KI from the village, 'The hell was that?!' "Hey kid, did you just feel something?"

Naruto scrunched his eyes and glanced at the ground.

—Several Miles Later—

Jiraiya looked into the distance and sure enough; the first village was in sight, "Alright Naruto when we get to the village I'm gonna teach you something cool. But first we need to find an Inn."

Naruto grinned, "Alright! I've been itching to learn something new!"

—Thirty Minutes Later—

Naruto was waiting against a tree when he saw the toad sannin approach with a large box.

Jiraiya smirked as he set the box down and stood in front of the blond, "Alright kid. Today I'm gonna teach you a technique that one of my students invented." He held out his hand and a blue orb of chakra whirled into existence. When he looked down he was concerned by the look he was getting, "What's with that face?"

Naruto gazed at the sphere for the second time in his life, mouth agape, "That was an actual technique?"

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed at this, "What do you mean kid?"

Naruto looked at the ground like he was wondering how to get up. finally he stood and held out his hand in the same position, "During the chunin preliminaries I managed to make that at one point. I don't know why but it felt like I'd been doing it my whole life Dattebayo! Hang on a sec."

Jiraiya gaped he saw the technique partially develop several times before Naruto gave a frustrated groan, "Woah woah wait! You mean you knew the fourth's technique with no training? That's ridiculous!"

Naruto's eyes widened, "Oh that explains everything!" Naruto turned to Jiraiya and told him about the alternative sealing method used on the Kyubi, "Essentially my parents are constantly inside the seal! That must be how I learned to wield a sword so fast! My mother was the Red Death dattebayo!"

Jiraiya staggered into a tree and sat down, "You mean to tell me those two have been alive this whole time?"

Naruto scratched his head, "I mean, yeah. Vii says their bodies were converted into pure chakra during the sealing process but in a sense their still alive." Naruto's eyes widened before he grinned, "He also taught me how to talk to them. He showed me that other people can enter my mind scape. Have something to ask my old man? He saw more of that night than I remember."

Jiraiya furrowed his brow but widened his eyes as Naruto sat down in the lotus position and held his hand out in a fist. Jiraiya hesitantly sat down in front of the boy and asked, "Are you still there?"

Naruto opened an eye, "I have connect out here first, so, yeah. Come on! Bump my fist!"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes and connected with the boy, however he was shocked to feel himself being drawn in. He fell forward onto his hands and knees but was again surprised to feel the floor was stone.

While Jiraiya looked around in awe Naruto grinned and spoke, "This place has improved since I was last here. My life must have improved a lot because this place used to be a literal sewer."

Both turned to hear laughter further down the hall. Jiraiya turned to the blond and asked, "Is that who I think it is?"

Naruto nodded with a solar grin, "That would be mom trouncing dad at board games. How a genius can lose so reliably is a mystery to me."

Jiraiya slowly walked through the halls and Naruto ran circles around him, "Come on, you'll never get there like that. This place is immense!"

Naruto took off in a sprint and Jiraiya relented to a quick jog. A few minutes later the blond turned the corner and Jiraiya heard Kushina call out to him, "Naruto! Where have you been?"

Naruto rubbed his head, "I've been training with my friends. Jiji is getting ready to retire though and me and pervy-sage are going to find Tsunade."

Kushina sighed, "Looks like Jiraiya hasn't grown out of that habit. How's that old man doing?"

Naruto turned to the main corridor and asked, "Why don't you ask him?"

Both parents turned to Jiraiya who withered a bit under their gazes, "I-Ahem, I'm honestly out of my depth here. How is this possible?"

Minato chuckled, "I honestly have no idea. I've studied the seal for years and I can't believe Vii managed to make such a complex formula."

Kushina chuckled and added, "I still can't forget when he told us he couldn't read!"

Naruto nudged his mom, "He started going by Phantom in his elder state."

Minato cocked an eyebrow, "Elder state?"

Naruto nodded, "He doubles as his mentor and apprentice. It's weird at first but it has helped explain what he knows."

Jiraiya groaned at that, "What the hell are you talking about Blondie? How good is that kids henge anyway?"

Naruto chuckled, "Insane. I heard he went through a bunch of really famous shinobi for the graduation exam. I think most of them were already dead too!"

Minato stepped forward, "Let's just say that kid is acting as a guardian angel for a lot of people."

Jiraiya sighed, "Any chance you could tell me what happened on The Day of the Kyubi?"

The man was terrified as a deep chuckle emanated from a previously inconspicuous wall. Said wall faded into a set of bars behind which the beast in question adjusted from his resting position to glare at the newcomer, "That would be quite the tale you excuse for a sage. I assume you thought that boy was the first interloper with those events?"

Jiraiya after backing into a corner nodded slowly.

The Fox-Hare Hybrid scoffed, "Mortals. Always assuming they know everything that matters. How much do you actually care about that day? Enough to call me a monster? A demon? Hah! You gather 'intel' from every country and you still have no clue why you were attacked. I've only seen that village once in my life and it was during the ritual of these two and that little brat. I'm still pissed those two would sign my power over to that ACTUAL demon! Even Mito Uzumaki wasn't that cruel!"

Jiraiya glanced at the two legendary shinobi and both seemed conflicted by that remark.

Minato shook it off first and responded, "Admittedly I'm not proud of the implications of that technique Jiraiya. The loss of the kyubi's power would have been permanent had I finished the sealing process. I only had the skill to contain the eight tails from scratch. I would have had to have sealed half of the Kyubi into the Shinigami to complete the process."

Kushina added, "That night the secret location for Naruto's birth was invaded by a masked shinobi we think was one of Minato's old students. The man claimed to be Madara Uchiha and seemed to have been selected as some kind of successor to that man's mission to destroy Konoha."

Jiraiya looked at Minato and asked, "Which of those brats could have impersonated an Uchiha?"

Minato sighed morbidly, "I'm afraid that Obito was somehow recovered from the location where we left him. In light of recent events I'm beginning to think that it may have been possible using some kind of arcane method. Has Sarutobi told you that Orochimaru managed to summon the former Hokage?"

Jiraiya tensed, "No way. He went after the Edo Tensei? That was the most horrific jutsu ever designed! Where did he even find that?!"

Naruto sighed, "Not even Vii knew that. He did know that summoning my father was impossible as his soul hasn't left the mortal plain yet."

Minato cringed at the idea of attacking Hiruzen like that.

Jiraiya rubbed his jaw, "Not to mention…Dear Kami! He must have desecrated their graves to get access to their remains! That's…That's a new low. Even his curse mark wasn't that unholy and that is borderline Satanic!" Jiraiya glanced at the two and sighed, "Makes me look like a saint. Anyway your kid says he managed to make a rasengan off of instinct. Any idea where he got that?"

Minato looked at his son and grinned, "I was wondering what that was. A while back I felt more alive than I have in years. It was about the same time they held the preliminaries."

Kushina nearly jumped up and down, "I got that same feeling a month later!"

Naruto smirked and took a stance that felt almost familiar, "I got this from you didn't I?"

Kushina nearly flew to give him a bear hug, "Oh Naruto I'm so proud of you! Where'd you get a sword anyway?"

Naruto scratched his head, "Vii made special weapons for everyone that made it to the final exam. Mine was a chakra conductive sword!" He suddenly gasped, "Wait a minute. He apologized that it wasn't Benehime! He must have known I'd learn that from you!"

Kushina's eyes widened, "Say what happened to her anyway?"

Naruto's smile began to melt into a sympathetic frown and he rubbed his arm, "Uh, I probably should have told you sooner. Danzo Shimura had been using root to infiltrate nearly every clan compound in the village. At some point our vault was stripped of everything of value." Seeing his mother turn a dangerous shade of red and his father getting nervous he continued, "On a mission to wave Vii took down a tyrant and found a vault full of really dangerous items. Among the objects that shrimp collected he had Benehime stored in that vault. Vii got everything back to Konoha including Benehime and Hiruzen allowed him to send sentries to guard all the sensitive locations in the leaf village. After some root nin tried to call dibs on the stuff he recovered Vii went ballistic and smoked out every root ninja in Konoha in minutes. Danzo escaped from the village using a network of tunnels that Vii sealed off later."

Minato had managed to help Kushina to calm down before she heard the last bit. Her hair seemed to come alive before drifting back down to her back. She asked pointedly, "Jiraiya you had better find that little parasite and call in a task force to obliterate him!"

Jiraiya raised his hands urgently, "If I'd known before now I'd already be searching!"

Naruto groaned, "To bad Vii can't see things that he's changed. Danzo's virtually invisible now."

Jiraiya glanced at the boy and an actual visible question mark appeared over his head, "What do you mean he's changed?"

Naruto sighed and answered, "Vii can see a version of the future. He came here to alter the future. For example; The Uchiha and Uzumaki would both be endangered clans right now. Sasuke would be broody and addicted to killing his brother. The Hokage…I think was supposed to die during the final exam. The shinigami takes dad's soul and half the Kyubi. I think my living situation would still be trash. Hizashi would die to prevent the byakugan being stolen which Vii decided wasn't worth Neji's happiness and Hinata's self esteem. Stuff like that."

Jiraiya meeped and responded, "I was wondering how the Uzumaki came back. How exactly did he pull that off?"

The boy sighed, "Vii used some impossible technique that resurrects thousands of people then started popping open coffins when he realized everyone could suffocate."

Jiraiya slumped to the ground, "That actually sounds like something that brat would do."

Kushina giggled, "He may be a baka but he's got a good heart."

Minato sighed, "Alright…Let me see if this works."

Minato formed the rasengan and immediately Naruto perked up and tried to recreate the technique. After a few seconds Naruto grinned victoriously before the same sphere appeared in his hand, "This is so cool! I thought it was just a side effect of the light clone technique!"

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes and asked, "Light clone?"

Naruto shook his head grinning, "It's a host thing."

===Chapter 2-3 Bridge===

—Chapter 3: Senju Encounter—

Tsunade was half way through getting wasted at one of the restaurants in — (What is with this lack of titles? The damn battle Minato visits when Obito dies probably doesn't exist on any map! It's like Kishimoto didn't expect to inspire hundreds of fanfic writers!) When Naruto and Jiraiya arrived.

—Outside—

Jiraiya groaned, "Twenty four hours? We were in there for a whole day? How does your mind process so slow?"

Naruto shrugged, "I always assume it's due to being a dimensional rift in my mind."

Jiraiya walked into a restaurant and growled, "Is it genetic that you two talk about physics like its a game of checkers?"

The boy chuckled, "Vii says that I ended up a scatterbrain in his visions. Maybe he polarized me as well."

Jiraiya was about to make a crude joke when he saw a familiar shade of blond in the restaurant, "Tsunade? No way! All these bars and I find you getting drunk here?"

Tsunade's eye twitched as she turned to glare at the self proclaimed super pervert, "Oh great. I knew it was a sign. The only time I have good luck is when the worlds about to end. What do you want Jiraiya?"

The toad sannin grinned, "Is that how you talk to an old friend?"

Tsunade was about to answer when she noticed the blond next to him, "Who's the shrimp? He one of your fans?"

Naruto glared at the 'Legendary Medic' before jabbing, "Our new Hokage's a drunk? Konoha's really fallen to stoop to such standards."

Tsunade grew a legion of tick marks before she asked with barely restrained irritation, "Before I scrub that kid off the earth, what's this about becoming the Hokage?"

Jiraiya rubbed his neck, "During the last invasion Hiruzen came pretty close to kicking the bucket. He's decided to bring in a successor before he finally bites the dust. You are his best choice at present and he's decided that a decade of extended leave is starting to push it."

Tsunade laughed, "So he thinks he can order me around? That's rich! Name one person who can give me a run for my money these days!"

Naruto pushed the table as he stood up, "That's it. Outside granny! I'm not listening to you talk about Konoha like that nor will I tolerate you trashing the old man!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes and looked away before she held up one finger, "I can beat you with this finger alone brat!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes before shaking his head, "Sorry granny I don't need your pity to teach you a lesson. Especially if your this wasted!"

Tsunade locked onto the boy and slammed her fist down, "Alright brat I'll show you to flap your jaw like that!"

—Open Field—

Tsunade gazed across the landscape and asked, "This is a bit excessive for outside gaki."

Naruto cracked his knuckles, "Only if I expected you and I to hold back."

Tsunade growled, "Stop talking like you actually think your a equal!"

Naruto glared at Jiraiya and Shizune, "Somebody give us the go ahead already!" Suddenly he turned to see Tsunade charging forward with her single digit in a wide arc and he leapt back.

Tsunade scowled, "You don't get to have people micromanaging you at my level!"

Naruto chuckled, "Alright if you don't want someone to save your ass from my foot than let's do this!"

Naruto began bobbing his head to either side and quickly his body joined the action, "Let's see if you can beat the Prankster King of Konoha!" Naruto quickly flew through handsigns and shouted, "WIND STYLE: GALE PALM!"

Tsunade smirked at the low level jutsu before she saw the massive typhoon approaching her, "Dear Kami!" She glared at Jiraiya, "When did you teach him the great breakthrough?"

Jiraiya raised his hands, "I've only managed to teach him summoning! Also I saw the signs and that should have been the standard gale palm!"

Tsunade glanced at Naruto but furrowed her brow when she saw him laughing.

He managed to respond, "That's the second time someone assumed I switched those two techniques! I can't wait to learn that technique!"

Jiraiya shouted urgently, "You might want to abandon the single digit goal. That kid's not winded!"

Naruto gave one last chuckle at the pun and answered, "You're so lucky I haven't mastered the earth style taijutsu yet! I do know mobile core!"

Tsunade glared at the boy, 'This kid needs to fall a few pegs!' She sprinted after the boy and flicked her finger at his forehead only to see him disappear.

Naruto appeared several feet away and glanced at his arm before shouting, "The heck? I didn't cast that!"

Tsunade examined the ground but found no item from substitution, "No way. There's no way you mastered the shunshin to that extent!"

Naruto glanced toward her and asked, "That was the shunshin? I thought I did a kawarimi by accident."

Jiraiya grabbed his forehead, "The hell is Vii teaching you kids?"

Naruto grinned and answered, "Apparently sealless techniques!" The boy kicked the grass under his foot and said, "Maybe I just figured out that earth style after all!" Naruto started sprinting at a very controlled pace.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and raced to parry him. Naruto raised his leg for a kick and Tsunade frowned, "That's way to slow Gaki." She attempted to knock his leg aside but found herself flying several feet back before her ankles hit a large boulder, "The hell?"

Naruto grinned and as he hopped around shouted, "Earth style mobile core! I did it! I figured out the style!"

Tsunade wiped her mouth, "Alright kid I admit I have no idea how you did that but this game ends here!"

Naruto smirked as the irate Tsunade finally got partially serious. Granted she was only using her fists but that in itself was an achievement. He cut his thumb and slammed the ground.

Tsunade hesitated as she had no idea how strong the summon would be, however when the smoke vanished no animal appeared. After a quick reevaluation she smirked, "Jiraiya taught you to summon objects? That's a beginners technique!"

Naruto frowned, "Don't go dismissing summoning! I may not be calling on the toads but you haven't pulled that card yet!" Naruto swung his sword to the ground and immediately a burst of flames leapt into the grass, "Besides; This sword will be plenty for now!" Naruto took a deep breath and entered his mothers stance. Quickly he felt her skills kick in and smirked, "How's your kenjutsu granny?"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the near wild stance. She charged chakra to one of her fists and slammed it into the ground, "Stop calling me old!"

Naruto recognized the attack style and leapt back a fair distance. He was still unnerved by the sheer amount of devastation that emanated from the lady's fist, "I think you might finally be getting a tad serious to be pulling that granny." Suddenly his eyes widened before they narrowed into a menacing grin, "You know what? I think I'll honor you with a house classic. SUMMONING JUTSU!"

Naruto slammed the ground and a massive scroll popped out, "Let's hope the chemists weren't preparing for a raid tonight." He rolled the scroll out onto the ground while Tsunade began to charge again. He was grateful for the distance since it bought him enough time to activate the scroll, "LET'S SET THE STAGE!"

Jiraiya raised his brows as a large wave of water poured out of the scroll.

Shizune narrowed her eyes and wondered, 'House classic?'

Tsunade rolled her eyes and asked, "You think a…WHAT THE?" The control freak suddenly fell as the water frothed under her feet.

Jiraiya gaped.

Shizune paled.

Naruto was literally flipping, "Hah! Not even the sannin can survive a pranking raid!" However he heard a sound that made his grin that much brighter.

Tsunade was laughing as stood knee deep in suds, "Kami. That was brilliant. Who taught you how to do that?"

Naruto grinned, "Me and Sasuke once saw a civilian spill a barrel of the stuff in front of a bunch of jonin having lunch. When they stood up they fell like dominoes."

Jiraiya cackled at the idea, however Shizune was shocked, "What is that stuff?"

Tsunade chuckled, "It's nothing more than water that's been super saturated with soaps. Damn it I managed to fall victim to this chemistry as a chunin! I never thought chemical warfare would become a sport for brats."

Naruto grinned, "Good luck standing in that stuff granny. Our chemists are very careful to change the mixture each time!"

Tsunade sighed, "Any chance you'll tell me how your doing that brat?"

Naruto grinned and shook his head, "Not a chance!"

Tsunade groaned and lifted her foot onto the water. Before she even realized she was using chakra the fluid began to fizzle, "Damn! That's some sensitive stuff!"

Naruto giggled, "It's a beautiful sight when civilians are completely clueless as to why the people who can walk on water suddenly look like kids who can't swim!"

Shizune groaned as she attempted to hide a laugh that she found shameful.

Tsunade wiped the soaked hair from her eyes and asked her old teammate, "Is all of Konoha this fun?"

Jiraiya raised his hands, "I honestly have no clue. I'm only there for days at a time." He rubbed his chin, "Though a couple years ago I did hear some screams and laughter that the villagers attributed to something called a raid."

Naruto grinned, "Man you were lucky to have heard that one. The Council of Pranksters was still limited to our academy class back then." He giggled and added, "These days we get summoned for a raid every few weeks. We've managed to recruit the whole academy AND a decent number of civilian kids to partake in those things at a moments notice."

Tsunade's eyes widened, "Okay that sounds almost compelling. I'll be willing to see sensei if only to get some photos of that!"

Naruto rubbed his chin before he asked, "Would it help if I said that a few students asked the C.O.P. to acquire some scrolls on medical training methods? Granted I think some were more interested in the chakra exercises, but Vii says you tried to push for a Iryojutsu course in the academy?"

Tsunade raised her hands in exasperation, "All right kid, I'm already going!"

===Volume 10 End===