Thanks for all the reviews who brought out this early update.
I don't own the vampire diaries
Manic ever… and after?
Symptoms day 1: Hyperactivity and insomnia
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It might have been an hour or two since he drifted into sleep in her arm, he woke up with dry stream of tears on his cheek, and he had little recollection of their past conversation. However, he remembered swearing off Elena because he did it during one of his last moment of sanity, so he deeply intended to make right by said promise, and with that thought stuck in his mind, he kissed the crown of Bonnie's head.
Damon turned around and Bonnie was still in his arm safely tucked, and he sighed with relieved. He had not completely fucked it up, he had not done something stupid during his crisis, and he felt grateful. He kissed her forehead and he lied by her side ready to go back to sleep, but sleep did not come, and he felt the need to move. He needed to do something, his mind screamed at the inactivity, so he settled for pacing in the middle of his room. When the pacing no longer quenched his needed of activity, he started doing sets up and push up, but it only made him craved more activities.
Damon went inside his bathroom and he was reminded of last night trouble, he silently started cleaning all the empty bottles, and he picked up the torn up boxes from the floor. He cursed silently at his lack of care and he hoped that Bonnie did not come across the current mess in the bathroom, he had no decent explaining, and he was not sure his lies would old any longer. Cleaning the bathroom brought relieved, it kept his mind and body busy, and it burned the excess of energy he felt.
Damon looked threw his different pills box and he took his recommended dose, he took his phone and he put a note for himself to call his therapist. Satisfied by his handy work, he left the room with his computer and he was ready to spend the entire night being productive. He worked until his mind was numb, he worked until he could no longer hold a pencil and his eyes started to lose the ability to see, but still he was not satisfied, and he still felt the need to drain his body of it life force. It was around nine o'clock in the morning when Bonnie found him wide-awake and surrounded by multiple papers; they flooded the entire floor and the entire dining table.
"You're up early." Bonnie's voice snapped him out of his concentration and he simply smirked when she placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
He eyed her carefully as she started to boil water for her morning tea and she cut fruit for her breakfast, he looked at her as she started to fry the egg, and he still had to answer her question. He did not intend to tell her that he had not slept, he felt as if he would probably not sleep for the next hour and days until he collapsed out of exhaustion.
"I had work." He offered the first excuse that came to his mind, and working he had done a lot more than he needed to do. After few hours, he no longer knew what he was working on, but he needed to work. It was an impulse and it needed to obey, or he would be jumping around or even doing worse. His hands were constantly tapping against the wooden table and his foot was constantly taping on the floor, right now simply sitting took a lot of will power for him, but he knew that he would arise suspicion if he suddenly started to pace.
Bonnie was about to add something to the conversation when her phone rang, she read the message, and she started looking at Damon suspiciously. She avoided the paper on the floor until she was successfully by his side. She grabbed a plate on which she put a copious amount of food, she placed it in front of her husband, and she looked at him expectedly but it seemed the entire room as faded into a background for him.
"Do you want to explain to me why do I just receive a message from Silas begging me to force feed you?" she pushed the plate until it was in his face.
He finally left his drawing behind, he cursed internally for the predisposition his brother had to meddle in his life, and after a minute of zoning out, he was once again looking at her. He had lost half of the conversation, he looked at the food with no intent to eat it, but Bonnie did not bulge. She placed a fork in his hand expecting him to do the rest, he let the little utensil fall, and he refocused his attention on his computer.
"I'm okay." He groaned when he noticed that she was still standing by his side. "Text him back that he should mind his businesses, and he should get his own wife to bother." He pushed away the plate and he returned to his work. Bonnie softly sighed and she pushed back the plate in front of him.
"Well you still have your wife bothering you, so can you eat so I can go to my own life." She said sweetly but she clearly did not intend to abandon. He took the food as he rolled his eyes and he pushed it into his mouth. She stared at him until his plate was empty, and she texted Silas back.
"Thank you." she placed a soft kiss on his forehead and she was on her way out when he called her name.
"I promise to talk to Elena today." He nodded toward her and she simply left the room with a smile.
Symptom day 2: instability and obsessive repetition
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He had been waiting for the past hour and Elena was still absent, he was impatient to finish this part of his day, and in the same time he was scared. He had his entire speech prepared, even if his thought could not stay put on one subject, but he was convinced that he could handle a break up. He stared at the street and the passing cars, thoughts jumping from a point to another, and still he could not get rid of the fear. The faster she would make her appearance, the better he would feel about the entire situation.
I'm losing patience he sent her a message, it was the fourth in the last hour and he waited patiently for a response but nothing came back. She might have decided that she was over him, after what he told her during the gala it would not come as a surprise, and he felt some relieve that he would not have to talk with he. Still he refused to leave until he received a confirmation that she was aware of the ending of their association. He stared at the streets as he felt the agitation in him conquest space of his mind, he shook slightly with impatience and anguish, but what he felt more was slight fury. Her tardiness was making him disproportionately angry.
Damon ordered a glass of bourbon to calm his nerves, the drink seemed to infuse him with even less patience, and he repeatedly shook his foot to suppress the need to move. The Salvatore man looked at his watch, sadly, an hour late had turned into two hours and as half late, reasonably he knew that she would not show herself, but he could not convince himself to leave the little warm restaurant he picked before he spoken with Elena. The frail anger became full fury at his third bourbon glass and he hardly kept himself from doing a scene, but still he did not leave the restaurant because he promised Bonnie that he would end everything with Elena.
Can you please come home? He surprisingly received a message from Bonnie and he panicked, he stared at his phone wondering the reason behind it did she know that he couldn't realize his promise, and so to avoid dealing with her disappointment he chose to ignore it.
You don't want me to deal the situation the way I intend to do it. Another message that carried a bit more anger, but he was still not willing to leave the terrace to go placate Bonnie, and he decided to ignore her message another time.
Elena two hours late was now three and Damon was no longer angry, he was unstable but still he obsessively waited until the sky became dark outside and the cars' flashing lights enlightened the street. He looked at Bonnie's message and he sighed with frustration, he grabbed the tumbler of Bourbon from which he was drinking and he threw it against the closest wall. A bit of the tension, which he felt was relieved as the glass shattered, but the anger was still rampant when he disappointedly stood to leave the chair where he had sat for hours as he waited for Elena.
"She didn't show up." He announced loudly as he stepped into his apartment, he looked surprised at the petite woman leaning against a wall, and Damon wondered how bad could be his situation.
Bonnie rolled her eyes at his announcement, her green eyes were amber due to fury, and when she looked at him, he could noticed the murderous intent behind them.
"Oh she did show up but you must have had given her the wrong address." She mumbled the words furiously as she uncrossed her arm, she continued staring at him, and she expected him to have an answer.
However, Damon was completely confused by the entire situation, he had question of his own. He quickly had his answers when he noticed that there were suitcases perfectly arranged near the door. Damon looked at Bonnie with a certain amount of growing fear, he had known that the day would come, but he expected to have few more months. The Salvatore man also expected to be in complete control of his mind when she left him behind, but today he was flirting with instability, and he had no control over his rage or panic.
"Don't go." He pleaded with her, panic won over rage but he still yanked her a bit roughly.
Bonnie looked at him a bit startled by his roughness, she winced at the strength of his grip , and that made him released a bit of his iron clad grip. She sighed loudly, she moved out of his grip, and she lashed out at him. She had waited for him for hours as she dealt with an impossible situation, hours ago, Elena made her apparition in their apartment, and they did not have the most pleasing conversation. However it led Bonnie to one simple conclusion, whatever she believed that she saw in Damon which was worth fighting for no longer retain any value.
"I can't do this anymore, I have tried to put up with your mess, but …" she bypassed him, she reminded herself that she would no longer argue with him, and she tried to leave the room.
However, he eventually succeeded in keeping her put in one spot, he kept her pressed against the wall as she fought to escape him, but the amount of force he used made him a clear victor.
"Bonnie…please don't go. Tell me what's wrong." He grabbed her face and he forced her to look in his eyes, he tried to make his plea, but he noticed that she only had anger directed toward him in her eyes.
"Do you have any idea of what I found in our bed?" she groaned against his chest when he forced her to stop moving with a crushing hug, and she fought to push him away, but he had no intention to let her go.
"You're giving me a headache … I can't…" the words stumbled on his tongue as a splitting headache hit him; he dragged her down with him as he refused to release her. They both sat in silence, Bonnie was boiling with fury, and Damon was trying to sort through his emotions.
"Why was she here? I told you to let it go but you thought planning a secret Rendez-vous would be wise." She groaned furious and she pushed him away from her.
"Please don't go." He begged her whilst he held her in his arm again.
"Maybe I should just leave all of this behind, your mistress and sister in law told me that I make you instable. You're getting lost in lies and have no grasp of what is real or false. What does she mean? I know longer understand this mess and I don't understand you, lord knows I have tried, but you just want to remain an enigma." Bonnie passed her hands in her hair and she tried to control her anger.
Bonnie felt the anger bubble at the surface of her skin. How could he act so innocently and she let herself think about what Elena told her. Maybe the woman had some truth in her statement, she observed Damon wondering about his psychic, but her anger completely made it impossible to come to the right conclusion.
"You can't leave … I'm sorry." He pushed her curls away and he looked into her beautiful eyes, once against he was prisoner to his own fear and too instable to understand a word of what she was trying to say. He dragged her to the floor with him and they both ended up sitting with their back leaning on the wall.
"Stop asking me not to leave." She shouted furious at his words that did not match his action.
"If you wanted me to stay then you wouldn't have invited Elena in our home. She was just right here and where were you when I…" Bonnie stopped speaking once again to frustrated to speak, she looked at Damon but the only expression on his face were confusion and anguish, and she decided to interpret it as admission of guilt.
"You're all a bunch of twisted people and she didn't want to leave. I had to threaten her to call the police. " She was so exhausted and she stopped fighting with him. She suddenly broke into tears, and she simply let her head fall onto her knees. The impact of her conversation with Elena still weighting on her mind and shoulder. She looked at Damon and she wondered if there were ounces of truth in the gilbert woman statement.
"She knows right. She knows what's wrong with you …" She stopped as her throat constricted and disappointment replaced anger. The feeling of being excluded from his life even became stronger, it surpassed the pain, and she felt concerning the previous humiliation.
She could still not process that just hours ago, Elena gilbert had the audacity to stand in the room she shared with her husband in nothing more than an underwear set, and she felt like crying and laughing in derision. Bonnie looked at Damon, she really looked at him, and it might have been because he was slightly shaking but she felt the need to slow down. She could feel something was wrong with him; she internally chastised herself that she did not need to feel sympathy for him, but she could not stop herself.
"Nothing is wrong with me… why can't you just drop that idea." He finally freed his anger and now he was the one accusing her. "Do you so much need a reason to abandon me… just do it." He furiously walked away from her. Whatever retaliation she had thought about was forgotten, and she just sat against that wall.
Symptoms day 3: Affectionate
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He woke up his mouth completely dry, his head was slightly pounding, but he was feeling happy and relieved. His wife completely engulfed by his arm, she looked so small, and she was beautiful. She also hadn't left after their last night argument, she had just silently walked back into their room, and she requested that they moved into another room. Damon had been happy to oblige because he was no longer feeling safe in their previous room.
"Bonnie?" Damon called her name as soon as he recovered her mouth with his, it was a kiss filled with need and affection. Slowly changing from soft to demanding, his hold on her tightened as he continued covering her with his affection.
"Damon..." She groaned with a touch of irritation but she still welcomed his kiss.
His lips suddenly left hers, and they left some emptiness behind them. Bonnie sighed, but she happily returned to her sleep. However, she couldn't sleep much because of the soft noises that were coming from the bathroom, she rolled on her side, and Damon was gone. She regretfully touched the cold spot on her side, she closed her eyes, and she hoped that he could get through his morning routine in silence.
The noise ceased and she was thankful, Damon came out of the bathroom with his hair slightly disheveled and shaking fingers, and he quickly locked the door as if the devil was behind him. He returned to his bed, he started staring at his roof as boredom grew in him, and then he returned all his attention to his wife.
Did she always have a glowing skin? Was it always as soft? The palm of his hand tentatively caressed her back, he followed the curvature of her spine with his thumb, and he placed kisses along the curved that he liked the most.
"I'm trying to sleep." She groaned once again.
She stilled his hand as he had started caressing her thigh. She felt his lips on her back and she rolled on her back, she was now facing him with closed eyes, and he placed another tender kiss on the corner of her lips. Bonnie moaned softly and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue in her mouth, he kissed her with eagerness as his hand explored every inch of her bodies with the same eagerness. She wanted to let herself go and just respond, but she couldn't fight the alertness and the nip at her heart, also she was still furious about what happened yesterday. She still believed that the incident with Elena needed to be discussed, but at the mere mention of the name Damon reacted quite dramatically, he rather begged her not to go or he went ballistic.
"Damon?" She said firmly as she broke the kiss and she put some physical distance between them.
"Bonnie." He said her name with so much happiness that it warmed her heart and it silenced some of her questions, he extended his hand, and she hesitantly took it.
"Are you okay?" he asked her as soon as he was able to enclose her small body in a protective and affectionate hug.
The petite woman eyed him with a bit of confusion, but she hardly questioned the matter, and then she simply nested her head against his chest. She was surprised by his action, but she believed that he was just groveling as a way to apologize for Elena lack of judgment.
"Better than hours ago, and you." her voice softened with sleep claiming her one more time.
"I'm happy." He beamed with joy and he placed a kiss against the crown of her head. She sighed with comfort and she held on to him.
"I'm glad to hear it, but I think it is too early." she grumbled about more thing against his skin, and she fell back into sleep.
Damon looked at the clock, it was four o'clock in the morning, but he was too happy to sleep, and he really wanted to have his wife in his arm. Therefore, he stayed awake; he hugged her for dear life until she woke up at ten o'clock in the morning.
"Hello." He excitedly kissed her, and Bonnie was a bit taken back because Damon was grumpy in the morning.
"Some is in a good mood this morning." She sarcastically pointed out and she tried to break out of his ironclad hug, but he seemed bent on keeping her in his arms.
"I'm happy." He brushed his lips against her, and if she had not craved his touch so much, Bonnie would have remembered how Damon was adamant on limiting the display of affection between them.
He kissed her softly, plucking her lips and slowly moving his tongue, he kissed her with tenderness, and then he kissed her forehead. Bonnie looked at him with mixed feelings and confusion was the dominant emotion. She tried to put some space between them but releasing her seemed to cause Damon some distress, which she overlooked because he successfully masked it.
"Are you sure, you're feeling well." She asked him carefully as she placed a hand against his forehead.
She stared at him intensely, she was trying to silence her own anxiety, and her gut feeling was screaming loud that she was missing a point. She observed him up and down; nothing seemed out of place at the exception of his smile, and his constant need of touching her.
"I've never been better." He said with confidence and when he noticed that she was moving out of the bed, he grabbed her hand and he pulled her back into him. She sighed and she once again tried to push him away, but she was wasting her effort, and she quickly gave up.
"Even after last night, you didn't look that much fine." she tried to test the water, the reaction which could have been visceral and defensive but Damon hid it behind another tender kiss and a bright smile, and he silenced further words with a kiss.
The smile undid Bonnie, it made her buy into the happiness he claimed to feel, and she might have fallen a bit deeper in love. He was radiating with happiness, she felt the warmth in that smile, and it was solemnly for her. She initiated the kiss this time, but Damon was less affectionate at this point, the need to touch, to kiss was now consuming his being.
He pushed her into the mattress and his kiss has a certain urgency, the weight of abandon making it more carnal. His hands eagerly and amorously explored her warm skin; his desire for her suffocated his thoughts. He wanted her; he wanted her with no control on his needs. He carefully placed himself between her legs and he kissed her in a way that forced submission on her part. He left her panting as his lips went to explore the side of her neck and his finger caressed her nape.
"Damon…" Bonnie tried to retain some lucidity when his warm palm recovered the soft lace material covering her breast, she placed her palm against his chest, and it helped still him.
She looked at him questioningly, but in his eyes, there were nothing apart from lust and arousal. He pressed his erection against her warm pulsating muscle, and Bonnie slightly tensed in his arm.
"I really want you." His words had a new edge to them and they were still coated by the urgency but there was so much more behind.
He yanked her bra off and it propelled Bonnie into a dilemma. As his warm mouth recovered the shivering flesh of her breast, she silently gave in to the needs of her husband. She silenced her own anxiety and she let the pleasure she felt lulled her away from worries. Damon kissed every inch of flesh that he could touch, every spot that made her sing, and still he hardly felt satisfaction. He wanted more, always more of her, even now, that she was kissing him so passionately, and her hands were burning him with their languorous touch.
"Hey look at me, Damon look at me." She begged him when his hands went further below, and he was sliding her panties off. She halted his hand, the feeling of wrongness was too strong, and it was basic instinct.
"Bonnie. " he was sucking on her pulse point. His warm breath made her skin shiver every time he unglued his mouth from her flesh long enough to speak. His husky voice was corrupting her thoughts, but she was adamantly fighting against the fog because the feeling that something was amiss grew strong with every of his touch.
"Damon, look at me." Her voice was trembling, she begged him to look at her, but she was unsure of what she wanted to see in his eyes.
He did not look at her; he just kissed her forehead and left the bed without an excuse. It was better to leave rather than to lash out against her due to inability to control his frustration.
"Damon?" she shouted out of frustration as she saw him leave the room. She grabbed a t-shirt to cover her naked body, and she followed him into the living room.
"Why don't you look at me?" She came to stand in front of him and he abruptly stopped. He groaned in warning as he tried to intimidate her, but she refused to cower in front of her husband.
"Here, are you satisfied now?" He looked deeply into her eyes and he quickly broke the contact. He felt as if she was undressing his soul and soon enough she would unveil his secrets.
"What was that? What was all of it?" She inquired hesitantly as she pointed toward the door behind her.
"I was trying to have sex with my wife." He said as if her questions were ridiculous. With each second of confrontation, he was growing defensive and instable. He could not look at her in the eyes and he could not think cohesively.
"And why would you try that?" She asked confused by his confession. Sex was a step that he would never allow himself to cross with her, he was very careful not to be too affectionate with her, and it had been the most hurtful part of the arrangement with him because each day she craved him a bit more.
"Because I really want you, I need to fuck too and I really want to fuck you, and then make love to you. Is it that bad that I want to be with my wife?" He was getting agitated, but it was Bonnie. He passed his hand in his hair and felt relieved when he tugged slightly on them.
"You won't tell me, but I feel it. You don't have the right to just switch between we can't do this to now wanting your wife. Sort what is wrong between us first and deal with Elena. Then you can fuck your wife." She answered back with frustration of her own. She could not play this back and forth, and she wanted proof that he would not walk over her heart as he wished.
"Where are you going?" he asked a bit panicked when she started to leave the room.
"I need a shower and to cool off. " she answered without looking back at him, and if she had looked back then she would have noticed the extreme panic in his eyes when she mentioned the bathroom.
"It is dangerous inside the bathroom." His voice shook at the thought that she could see what was inside the bathroom.
"What is wrong with the bathroom." she frowned as she remember the noise earlier; she had been too sleepy to make the distinction between the type of noise.
"It is dangerous... I don't want you to hurt yourself." He insisted and he was now grabbing her hand to pull her in the opposite direction. "Please don't go inside." his voice took a pleading tone and his grip on her arm became almost bruising.
"It doesn't matter; I will take a shower back into my apartment. I think with both need the time apart. I can't just sit here and I need you to decide..." Her throat was constricting, she was at loss of words, and she needed the space to clear her mind. She rose on her toes and she dropped a kiss on his cheek.
It took him a time to process what had been happening. He took his computer, he sat to work, and hours later, he concluded that she abandoned him.
Symptom4: Delusional.
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"Silas" he whispered on the phone when he finally heard his brother voice on the other side.
"Are you okay Damon?" the younger Salvatore looked at his watch and it was an odd hour to receive a call. As soon as he asked the question, he shook his head because he knew what the answer was.
"I don't know where Bonnie is and I'm worried." He continued whispering and he was more alert of his surroundings. Damon's voice was shaking and Silas could only assumed that the hoarseness was due to crying.
"Damon, are you okay, and why aren't you sleeping?" The panic in Silas' voice was audible, it was two o'clock in the morning, and he stood to dress up as his thought already started to exclude places where he would have to look for Damon.
"I need to work but I can't go to the office because it is dangerous, and the bathroom is dangerous too." He continued as he carefully eyed his bathroom from under the desk where he was hiding.
"Do you want me to come and see what is wrong?" Silas grabbed his shirt and he quickly threw it over his head, he knew that he needed to keep Damon speaking. If his brother stopped speaking then he would be free to roam around, and that increased the risk of him being arrested or endangering his life.
"No, they are in the bathroom. I want to find Bonnie. She left me this morning and I miss her. I really can't go to the office." his speech as much as his thoughts were disoriented, he was in the four day of his manic episode and with each hour, it was getting worse. The arousal, the happiness no longer existed now it was just paranoia, hallucinations and conscious impairment.
"Damon?" There was no answer and Silas knew it was bad. He looked at his phone with panic; he had very few options now. He needed to notify Damon's psychiatrist on his relapse, and then he would have to look for him before he did something that might endanger his life.
In the five years leaving with bi polar disorder, Damon had two depressive episodes and four manic episodes, those only included the long-term one, those that extended on weeks and months. It was never related to the lack of medical care or lack of therapy, but simply sometime treatment did not guarantee control on the disease.
Symptoms day 5: Conscious disturbance and abnormal behavior
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"It is three in the morning." She shouted angrily as she walked toward the loud knock on her door.
Bonnie looked into the peephole and she was surprised to see no other than Silas Salvatore. She hesitated but eventually she opened the door, her heart was beating with anguish, but his night intrusion also annoyed her. The Salvatore madness was sickening, and with each second, she wanted less of it.
"I am well aware but the situation doesn't really give me much freedom." He stood at the door and he stared anxiously at the young woman, but his tone hardly disguised the anger her felt against her.
"This is better be freaking good Silas." She groaned and she moved out of her apartment because he did not seem to be willing to come in. Bonnie eyed the young Salvatore suspiciously, his entire demeanor screamed worries, and she refused to think about the worse but the thought already settle in her mind. She chose anger because it was comforting, but she was slowly bracing herself for the bad news.
"I need you to help with Damon." The younger Salvatore started with hesitation, his heart was heavy because he felt as if he was breaking his brother's trust, but he had no longer the choice. The situation was out of control and only Bonnie could be of any help to Damon.
"Did he send you? I told him I needed time to think." The brunette woman frowned and she was ready to close her door to Silas. She deep down knew that there were more to the situation, but she did not want to hear that news, and she felt her body tense with apprehension. Anger was her way to keep her mind from thinking the most tragic things.
"You reacted just the way he predicted that you will. He called me in tears saying that you have abandoned him and I just brushed it off, but you truly left." The accusatory finger crowded her personal space, the anger and disgust in silas' voice deeply cut her into her personal proud, and she no longer knew what to say nor how to react. The night was as confused as her past day with her husband. Bonnie drew a deep breath and she tried to diffuse the tension, she talked herself into patience, and she decided to be above petty feeling that would have pushed her to answer Silas' accusation with fire and fury.
"What are you talking about? We had an argument this morning and I left so we both could decide what we wanted." She softly tried to explain herself because she noticed that anything could set Silas off, she had never thought the day would come when she would see the sarcastic Salvatore turn into a ball of nerves. It only helped to ferment her own anxiety, and it was taking all of her not to be brusque with her brother in law.
"He was not in the state of having an argument. Why can't you be more careful with him? It is as if everything you do is meant to trigger him. First Stefan and then this, what do you want?" He shouted.
For the first time, His fretting control on his anxiety slipped between his fingers, deep down he knew that he had no right to accuse Bonnie, but he needed to point fingers. Damon had been healthy for the past years, this relapse had happened so abruptly, and now Silas felt as if he had failed his big brother.
"I am tired, it is freaking late, and you're hardly making sense. I don't need a lecture when he is the guilty one." Bonnie refused to entertain the man's anger.
"Did he tell you?" His tone softened and he tried to offer a verbal apology but the words were stuck in his throat, however Bonnie took his peace offering, and she opened her door widely to indicate that the conversation should be pursued inside.
"About what?" she asked expectantly but the young man only brushed off the subject.
"Then he didn't and I am sorry that you will have to learn it this way." She could hear the sincerity and the sympathy behind his words.
They both stayed silent, both lost in their thoughts and apprehensive to open the can of worm. Silas looked around and he placed a comforting hand on top of hers, he really had wished that Damon would have had the time to tell her, but his brother had been stubborn on the subject, and truthfully, it was only Damon's secret to tell. The young Salvatore took multiple deep breaths, but still his tongue was placated against his hard palate, and he could not find the strength to break the news to her.
"Silas." She pressed him after minutes of silence, she could no longer believe the contrary, and she simply prayed that it was not that bad.
With her eyes on him, the young man knew that she was pleading with him for the truth, but still he believed that Damon should be the one telling her, and he was being a coward about it too. He had no strength to comfort her now; his mind was totally focused on Damon's well-being.
"Not now, I can't get him hospitalized because I can no longer take legal decision for him because you're his wife." He offered as form of explaining, but it did not mean a lot, and his words just fueled Bonnie's anguish.
"What is going on, Silas what happened to my husband?" She started panicking at the thought that it was evidently a life and death situation, now she simply wished that Silas was Damon's messenger, but the expression on the man's features told the entire story.
"Bonnie we need to go."
Symptom day 5: dementia
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The sight that welcomed her when she made it back to the apartment she shared with Damon was not reassuring, she turned horrified eyes toward Silas, but the young man just stayed silent.
"Why is there an ambulance? Silas what is going on?" she grabbed a full fist of the young man shirt; Silas just guided her inside the apartment complex.
"Bonnie please, just calm down." He begged her but his own voice betrayed similar anxiety. He clasped his fingers tightly with hers and he squeezed to show support on his part. It was not enough to placate her.
"What are these people doing here? Where is Damon? Silas where is my husband?" She had so many question but each time they were answered with heavy silence. It was too much to digest, it was too much to deal with at such hour of the night, and Bonnie became hysteric. The young woman snatched her hand from silas' hold and she broke into a sprint toward the apartment she shared with her husband. She just needed to find him and reassured herself that he was breathing.
"Bonnie... Bonnie... Bonnie." He ran after her but she was deaf to his call and she continued running.
Bonnie abruptly opened the door of their apartment, what she saw was pure carnage and she felt her knee buckled with the sudden fear that added itself on her shoulder. There were broken objects lying everywhere, she looked at the shattered piece of glasses, and she really prayed that Damon was okay. She switched on the light and she moved deeper inside the house.
" Damon... Damon." The young woman called with desperation, her entire body was shaking, and her voice was breaking.
"Please be okay... Please be okay." She whispered with a trembling voice as she took another corridor and she opened a new door, but she sadly found no one.
"Damon? Babe where are you." She shouted his name.
"He might be gone." Silas finally caught up with her, at the sound of his voice, she jumped a bit, and she quickly turned toward him. She had so much to ask but only one question echoed loudly in her mind.
"Silas where is my husband." She asked desperately as she finally reached the floor where their room was, and she could no longer contain her anguish. Her heart was on the verge of lipping out of her rib cage, her mouth was dry but she felt the uncomfortable sensation of nausea, and it was safe to say that she was sick with anxiety.
"I don't know, I swear I will explain it to you but not now." His voice pleaded with her not to press the issue, and truthfully, she did not care much about his explanations, all she cared about was Damon's safety, so she forgot about all the questions that she wanted to ask.
"Damon." She carefully pushed the door of their room, and the sight was worse than the living room, a tear rolled on her cheek, and she was ready to give in to panic. She stood there, she was no longer able to think, and worse all the thoughts that plagued her mind were horrific representation of Damon in a dangerous situation.
"Don't go in there?" the voice was shaky, she twirled on herself to face a little dark corner, and she finally felt relieve at the sound of his voice.
"Damon?" she asked tentatively and she took a step toward the place where she heard his voice.
"It's dangerous." He panicked when she took a step toward him and he shouted at her to stop. He cornered deeper and he was very close to the edge of their apartment's balcony
"Please tell him that you are back. He is worried for you." Silas softly spoke and he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. He squeezed and he pushed her a little closer to Damon's hiding spot.
"What is going on with my husband?" She stuttered and tears started to fall freely on her cheek, she quickly tried to wipe them away, but unfortunately, there were too many of those.
"Damon, I found Bonnie." The young Salvatore ignored her question and he focused his attention on Damon who was dangerously crouching close to the edge of the balcony.
"Bonnie left…" the words sounded fragile in his mouth and she heard it loud and clear that he had been crying, her heart broke due to his anguish, but it helped her concentrate on the moment.
"Why are you lying to me? You never lie to me Silas…Are you with them?" He shouted with anger and he threw an object in their direction, Silas pushed Bonnie behind him, and he took a deep breathe.
Damon stood up and he started pacing back and forth, he picked another object that he placed protectively in front of himself, and he eyed Silas' direction carefully. He was irritated by the lack of sleep, he was panicking because of his hallucination, and he could not focus on anything. He felt tormented and that feeling triggered his aggressiveness.
"With whom Damon?" Silas carefully asked as he took another step closer to the balcony. He took Bonnie's hand so she could follow behind him, and he put himself in front of her as a shield because he was aware of how the situation could quickly escalate.
"They are inside my office, I can't work. They are in my bathroom and they're coming from everywhere." The panic in him grew and he suffocated a small cry as he carefully eyed the entrance of his room.
"No I'm not with them I swear. I'm with Bonnie." The youngest Salvatore tried to calm him and he let go of Bonnie's hand, he slightly pushed her forward so she could be visible to Damon, but sadly, Damon's entire attention was focused on the door.
"She left... Bonnie... I think that I hurt her like the baby." Speaking became harder to him, and he further fell into his panic and the pacing increased.
"Did she lost the baby because of me?" a plaintive cry accompanied those words and he sat back down. He nested his head on his knee and Silas understood that he was closing himself. The external world was disappearing around him, he was confusing present time and memories, and he was transported back on the worse period of his life. He was stuck at the night where Katherine had her miscarriage.
"Damon…Damon?" He forcefully called but nothing could reach his elder brother, Damon sunk his head lower between his knee, and the sobbing started to grow louder.
"Tell her I am so sorry... They are coming. Oh… My... God." The cry of panic echoed loudly in the room, he dangerously backtracked closed to the balcony, and the glass wall of the balcony stopped his impending fall. He shouted against nothing as his hallucination drove him further away from reality, he trashed trying to fight what he saw, and that put most of his weight on the glass separating his body and the nothingness below their tenth floor apartment.
"Talk to him." Silas pushed a confused Bonnie forward and his voice was full of anguish, he needed her to snap out of her panic. She looked at him at loss of words, the young Salvatore took her hand, and with his eyes, he pleaded with her to act. The brunette woman took a deep breath and she forced herself to regain some countenance, being victim to panic would not help in their situation.
"Damon, it is Bonnie" she tried hesitantly and her brother in law squeezed her hand encouragingly.
"Bonbon?" a curious voice came from the balcony, but Damon did not move away from his dangerous spot.
"Can I come to you please?" she tentatively took a step and she pushed her head into the balcony so he could see her.
"They will hurt you... I will hurt you." He said and he started another panic attack, he raised his hands to stop her when she took a step inside the balcony.
Bonnie looked at Silas, and she silently asked him to leave. The younger Salvatore understood and he left the room, he rushed outside to call the rescuers.
"They can't do that if you protect me." She said with conviction as she took another step closer to him, she did her best not to startle him, and she silently said all the prayers that she knew of.
"But..." He looked at her with his panicked eyes and he hesitated on what to say, Bonnie took advantage of his confusion, and she was now fully standing inside the balcony.
"Damon, please... I need you... Please." She broke into tears and her voice was shaking.
"Hey don't cry... Bonnie." He stood and he walked closer to the corner of the balcony where she was standing, but after a second of hesitation, he returned to his past spot.
"I won't cry if I am with you." She eagerly started wiping her tears; her words seemed to have the right effect because he started walking toward her, but he hesitated again and he stopped in the middle of the balcony. A sigh of relief left her mouth, she could breathe better now that he was no longer at risk to fall, and she decided to close the distance between them.
"But you can't... It is dangerous." He raised his hands one more time to stop her and he took few step back. The pacing restarted and he stopped focusing his attention on her, now he was carefully eyeing the door as if he expected something or someone to jump out of it.
"I need you." She cried to him when he stopped looking at her. "Damon, please... Come to me." She pleaded between sobs and her tears seemed to hold his attention, he would still eye the door, but he would also look at her.
"Bonbon." He tentatively tried to reach her but once again, he stopped midway.
"You promised." She extended his arm for him and she seemed to have found the right pressure point because he took it.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you... Don't go... Don't leave." Damon engulfed Bonnie in a crushing hug, she did not care that she could hardly breathe, and for a moment, she just sobbed in his arm.
"Never." She answered fiercely.
Silas came back with two rescuer, Bonnie was still holding tightly on Damon as she softly whispered to him that he was safe from whatever was haunting him, and he nested her head against the crook of her neck. His heavy weight kept her pinned against the floor, it was hard to breathe under someone twice her weight, but now she did not care much about air. The rescuers seized the opportunity to sedate him and they carefully lifted him away from her, she felt exhausted, and she just wanted to close her eyes, so she did for few minutes.
"You have to sign his order of internment." Silas' voice disturbed her attempt to escape reality and she had to open her eyes, the young man was sitting by her side on the floor, and he was pushing a pile of papers toward her.
"I…" she could not find the right thing to say, she simply stared at the pile of paper, and the tears streamed across her face.
Her brother in law enveloped her in a hug; he understood her situation better than anyone else could due to experience, so he offered as much support as he could. He whispered comforting words, he told her about the virtue of strength even if he knew how such words echoed empties at moment like the one they were living.
"You're his wife and it means having to deal with situation like this or worse." He said matter of factly.
What should have scared her suddenly helped empowering her, and she told herself that she had to stand by him.
"Can I go with him; I don't want him to be alone."
...
...
Diagnostic: manic
Please review.
For any mishandled and tactless depiction of a manic episode, I apologize but I hope that it was close to reality even though it is different with each individual .Let me tell you that we are slightly done with the anguish, and back to the fun of the story and the fluff, the summary promised. The Katherine mystery would be explored. Elena had to do an Elena but Bonnie would get the girl back soon enough.
