.

Here You are :: chapter 10

.

"You don't wanna stay for dinner?" Kagami asked for second time as he helped Kuroko with his traveling bag. The two boys were at entrance. Kuroko was tying his shoelaces while Kagami was standing behind him. The teal-haired boy had had another weekend sleepover at Kagami's place after his plan to travel to Kyoto had been canceled-again. Honesty, Kagami had lost count on how many time Kuroko had ended up ringing his door bell every time the trip was canceled. When had it started? After summer vacation? Shifting his weight uncomfortably, Kagami opened his mouth, "Say, Kuroko, have you..."

Kuroko looked up from his shoes, staring at Kagami's face. "What is it, Kagami-kun?"

The taller boy frowned. "Have you ever thought about this matter?"

"This...matter?" Kuroko raised an eyebrow, completely confused by the question. "Could you explain what 'this matter' is?"

Sometimes Kagami just did not know whether Kuroko was either really dense or good on hiding his own feeling. During time like this, he really cursed Kuroko for having such dead-panned facial expression. "This matter..." Kagami cleared his throat. "About how often Akashi canceled your date in last minute. Don't your realize you guys barely meet after summer vacation? I mean, hell, I know long distance relationship sucks but..." He stopped as Kuroko slowly stood up and took his bag.

Kuroko stared at the floor for a moment as if he was trying to find good words to answer all Kagami's questions. "I think," Kuroko said, "we are doing fine. Seijuurou-kun is just quite busy with studying and part-timing at his relative's law firm. Besides..."

"Hmph," Kagami snorted, "Besides?"

"Besides it's better if we don't meet so often," continued Kuroko almost inaudibly.

If Kuroko thought Kagami had missed the words, he was completely wrong. Kagami wrinkled his forehead, asking himself whether he had not heard Kuroko wrong. Kagami was not an expert in romantic relationship, true, but at least he had not been that dense. Alex had taught him a lot about relationshp, she even had forced him to read a super girly book called Dating 101. Oh, joy. Himuro also-so much for Kagami's horror-always openly showed his public affection with that giant Murasakibara. The dark-haired man turned out to be dating with Murasakibara by the end of Winter Cup. Up until now, Kagami had not accepted the surprising-or shocking-news really well. Whatever it was, Kagami had seen plenty enough of stupid lovey dovey couples in his life to understand how relationship should work.

Kagami still had his eyes fixed on Kuroko. "Oi, Kuroko."

"Yes, Kagami-kun?"

"Let me know if something's bothering you, 'kay?"

"...yes."

Kagami suppressed a scowl. He did not like how Kuroko had sounded just now. However, he let the topic slipped away although he felt little bit uneasy to leave the matter unfinished.

"I see you at practice tomorrow, Kagami-kun." Kuroko's soft voice brought Kagami's attention back to the smaller boy.

"Yeah, see you." Kagami gave one last huff before Kuroko closed his apartment's door. Frowning, he turned around to see Aomine and Kise standing on the end of hallway, right in front of a door which connected to living room. "What the hell!" Kagami almost jumped, "Don't scared me like that! What are you doing standing there like two idiots?!" Actually, he had completely forgotten that the two was still at his apartment.

"Geez, why are you so moody?" Aomine replied, waving his hand right in front of Kagami's nose.

Kise sighed. "Kagamicchi, could you just be happy for Kurokocchi?"

"I am happy for him!" Kagami snapped.

"But you'd be happier if he decided to date someone else, right?" Kise gave him a look. "I know you don't trust Akash-"

"Damn, Kise, could you just shut up?" Kagami snarled. Yes, he did not like Akashi. He never liked Akashi since the beginning. He had seen how mad the other red head had been during Winter Cup. He had crushed Kuroko and showed no mercy to the boy. Then, everything had just changed when Seirin had won the game? Just...like that?! Then suddenly Akashi had desired the phantom player, pursued him, and successfully claimed him as his boyfriend? Kagami could not understand why Kuroko had fallen in love with Akashi in the first place.

Aomine looked at the two and rolled his eyes. He did not like this kind of atmosphere. Kagami had never shown his dislike on Akashi in front of Kuroko. Aomine understood how the red head did not want to offend his teammate. Surprisingly, it was Kise who had noticed Kagami's dislike for the first time. Aomine had just found out about it several weeks after the Rakuzan captain and Kuroko had began dating. He had seen how Kagami watched the interaction between Kuroko and Akashi with such sharp eyes. Kagami had forced himself to smile whenever Kuroko was talking about Akashi. It seemed that Kagami still could not forgive Akashi for treating Kuroko as disposable, useless toy during the last Winter Cup. However, Kise and Aomine somewhat believed Akashi just needs second chance. Therefore, they had not been that surprised when Kuroko and Akashi had decided to date. It had been a public secret among Generation of Miracle as well as Momoi and Nijimura that Kuroko secretly had had a crush on Akashi during Teiko time.

"I think you should put more trust on Tetsu," Aomine said, "He knows what he's doing."

Kagami groaned, pulling his hair. "Oh, yes, he does..."

.

"...he does?"

Judging from the tone, Takao knew how surprised Midorima was. This morning he had sent an e-mail to his boyfriend, explaining what had had happened last night. As expected, Midorima had called him back right away and asked Takao to explain the situation once more. By the end of long explanation, Midorima stayed silent from a while as if he was trying to put those overloaded information one by one, especially
by knowing the fact that Kuroko wanted to meet Akashi after these twelve years.

"He does want to meet Akashi," Takao replied, pressing his smart phone to ear. "Gosh, Shin-chan, I don't know what Tet...err I mean Kuroko is thinking..." The black-haired man sighed. "And, uhm...Shin-chan, do you mind if I stay longer here?"

"Hmm," was the only reply coming from the man.

Takao smiled as he had mental image of Midorima adjusting his glasses. Even though Midorima did not make clear answer, Takao knew the man would not mind. After all, he cared about Kuroko a lot-too much, sometimes. Snickering, he moved from living room to kitchen and decided to make himself a cup of tea. His steps were halted by sudden thudding from Kuroko's bedroom. "Shin-chan, I call you later," Takao quickly said, "Love you." He ended the call, went to Kuroko's room, and found the teal-haired man was laying on the floor next to his futon. Takao's eyes widened. "Gods, Kuroko, are you okay?!" He immediately helped Kuroko to sit up, almost dropping his own smart phone in process.

Kuroko reached for Takao's hand, clutching it tightly. "I'm fine, Takao-kun," he said with a smile on his tiny face. Takao narrowed his eyes as he realized how pale Kuroko was. His usual complexion was already pale but today he practically looked like a ghost! Noticing Takao's concern, Kuroko hurriedly continued, "I tripped on my feet."

"Kuroko..."

The kindergarten teacher sighed. He knew he could not lie that easily in front of Takao. Kuroko wondered if the man had a sixth sense or something... "I felt dizzy," he told him reluctantly, "But I think I'm fine now. Where's Kiyoshi-san?"

"Kuroko, listen," Takao said softly, "You don't have to meet Akashi if you don't feel like doing it."

"But...if I don't meet Akashi-kun now..." Kuroko took a deep breath, feeling his heart aching. "I can't run away forever, Takao-kun. Kiyoshi-san is right that Akashi-kun needs to know the truth. I left him out of the blue without any proper explanation. He...probably hates me now but still...he..." Kuroko felt his eyes began to sting. At this rate, he could not hold back his tear anymore. Fortunately, Takao had pulled him closer, let the smaller man's head rested on shoulder, and rubbed his back. Kuroko was sobbing by the time Takao stroked his light blue locks.

To be honest, he had had disagreement with Kiyoshi this morning. He had not liked the idea of having Akashi at Kuroko's house. Yet, in the end he could not win the argument. Well, at least Kagami was not here. Sighing, Takao buried his nose on Kuroko's head and smelt vanilla-scent shampoo.

"Where is Kiyoshi-san?" asked Kuroko after his sobs were reduced.

"He went to campus when you were still sleeping," Takao answered.

"Oh."

Both knew Kiyoshi probably was already with Akashi right now but no one dared to bring out the topic. "Uhm, are you hungry, Kuroko? Wanna eat now?" Takao asked, grinning. Kuroko looked up. He had slept for hours due to his medication. He did not even realize how hungry he had been until Takao asked. Slowly pulling himself away from Takao's arms, Kuroko nodded in affirmation. He let himself being led by Takao to dining table. Kuroko was grateful to have Takao here even though he could not help but feeling bad for his friend. He had been troubling the man so many times since ten years ago.

During their meal, Takao talked a lot about Midorima. He complained on how Midorima had to do almost everything in schedule. Then the conversation moved to their friends, including Kagami and Kise. Speaking of them... Neither Takao nor Kiyoshi had told Kuroko that those two were coming home. Actually, Kagami always visited Kuroko without any notice before. It seemed the tall man loved to make it as a small surprise for his former teammate. For Kise...well, the blonde had always been unpredictable since his modeling job often demanded him to be far away from Japan.

Kuroko put down his rice bowl after several minutes. He had only eaten half of meal but his stomach had been complaining all the time. Good thing that Takao had prepared such light meal-sweet egg rolls, salad, and miso soup-or Kuroko probably would have completely lost his appetite even before eating. Avoiding Takao's worried eyes, Kuroko stood up from his chair and opened the fridge where he found his favorite vanilla pudding. Kuroko looked like a small kid with a fascination to vanilla.

"Ne, Kuroko," Takao spoke up.

"Hmm?"

"Do you like living here?"

"Yes, of course," Kuroko answered. He looked up from his pudding. "May I know why did you ask such question?"

Takao grinned. "Nah, just making sure." He ruffled Kuroko's hair. Sometimes he could not help but wonder whether Kuroko was really happy to be here-far away from his other friends. Takao had learned the fact that Kuroko had no relative since his parents had eloped which had become quite a problem when Kuroko's mother had passed away all of sudden. Actually, Kuroko still had one relative left who turned out to be his great aunt from maternal side. However, the woman was really old that she could not even take care of herself. She had been living at elderly house until passed away seven years ago. The woman had not had any chance to meet Kuroko. In the end, Kuroko practically had no family to rely on.

The former Shutoku player sighed at the depressing thoughts.

"Are you alright, Takao-kun? You sure sigh a lot in past ten minutes," said Kuroko in flat tone but he obviously looked worried.

"Oh, sorry, I was spaci-"

His sentence was cut off by a sound of sliding door. Someone had just entered Kuroko's house. Takao became very alert since the person might be Akashi. He abruptly stood up, walked toward the entrance with rigid steps, and...yes, he saw Akashi was standing just a little bit behind Kiyoshi. The tall brunette gave Takao a look, as if he was warning him not to lose any emotional control. Takao growled inwardly. Yesterday, he had not taken any good look at the red head. Certainly Akashi's appearance had changed but the man still had his sharp eyes and strong facial line. His jaws were firmer than the last time they had had civil conversation which was around a decade ago.

Akashi nodded at him. "How are you doing, Takao?"

At least now Akashi had known how to be polite by not calling other people on first name basis. Takao nodded back. "Fancy to meet you here," he said sarcastically, "Akashi."

"Where is Kuroko, Takao-kun?" asked Kiyoshi before Takao had developed any funny idea on how to kill Akashi painfully.

"Kitchen," the younger man answered swiftly, "I'll get him, you guys wait at living room."

Kiyoshi was smart enough not to make any comment. Noted: never mess up with Takao when the man was in bad mood. Kiyoshi showed Akashi the living room and asked him to take a seat. He could see clearly that Akashi was not in ease at all. He kept glancing at the sliding door.

"You see, Akashi-kun," Kiyoshi said, "You don't need to worry that much. As I've said before, Kuroko is the one who wants to meet you."

Akashi straightened his back. True. An hour ago, he had met Kiyoshi at cafe only to be surprised by the brunette's polite explanation on how Kuroko had wished to see him. He had never thought the brunette would have asked in such polite way. Kiyoshi could have screamed before him and kicked him away but...no. Instead of throwing him any hostile behavior, Kiyoshi had taken him to Kuroko's house. Then here they were. Akashi almost could not believe that he was actually sitting on sofa, scanning warily through the space. The living room was really modest. The only thing that caught Akashi's interest was an old piano on his right side.

"Does he play piano?" Akashi asked.

"Kuroko? Oh, he's a prodigy," Kiyoshi answered with a smile on his face, "You should ask him to play you a song. He prefers jazz, by the way."

"You awfully know him a lot."

"Naturally, we've been very close for years." Kiyoshi let himself relax and laughed slightly. Seeing the red-haired man had no intention to make any comment, Kiyoshi continued, "He misses you."

Akashi frowned, "Should I say he miss me because he hates me?"

"No, you're wrong, he-"

"I never hate you," Kuroko's voice cut-in.

The two men turned their head to the door. Kuroko was leaning by his side on door jamb. He had changed from pajamas to a pair of jeans and simple white t-shirt which somehow complimented his pale skin. Takao stood behind him, mouthing that he would be at garden with Sangou. Kuroko did not move from his spot. He looked so stiff that Takao had to push him gently and encourage him to sit next to Kiyoshi. The teal-headed man complied in silence. Suddenly the room felt really cold. Kuroko shivered and turned his eyes to Kiyoshi. It was almost a pleading look. Kiyoshi took Kuroko's hand and squeezed it lightly, sending him reassuring message that he would not be left alone.

Akashi was practically staring at Kuroko from head to toe. Gosh, the teal-headed looked almost same as twelve years ago, as if he did not age. He was still small and slender. His skin looked smooth and delicate. His eyes... Oh, how he really wanted to look at those beautiful eyes all these times. Their eyes met for a moment but Kuroko quickly dropped his own gaze on his lap. Akashi was taken aback by the gesture. It slapped his mind hard then the reality set in. He had not come here only for looking at Kuroko's face.

"Well, Kuroko," Kiyoshi broke the tense atmosphere, "Do you want to say something to Akashi-kun?"

Kuroko only gazed on his lap.

Kiyoshi and Akashi exchanged a look before the brunette spoke again, "You can take your time, Kuroko. I'm sure Akashi-kun won't mind."

After five seconds which felt like forever, Kuroko lifted his face up and opened his mouth. "I...want to..." He inhaled deeply, hesitating for a bit. "I...I need...must apologize to you."

Akashi blinked-certainly had not anticipated that.

"...left you. I left you, Akashi-kun," Kuroko continued with trembling lips, "I'm sorry...so sorry. I left you. I should have not left you...but I couldn't do anything. Dad disappeared, mom became depressed. We...we needed to move out b-because..." He leaned over and wrapped an arm around himself while his right hand covered his mouth. "I'm sorry, Akashi-kun, I'm sorry... Please don't hate me!" Unable to hold his overflowing emotion any longer, Kuroko collapsed onto the floor with heart-wrenching cry. His face was twisted in pain and his light-blue eyes widened.

Kiyoshi caught him in reflex. "Kuroko! Kuroko, calm down!" He shook Kuroko's shoulder but the man reacted by trashing wildly. He was panting and his breaths came in short. Kuroko began clawing on Kiyoshi's arms, causing the brunette to hiss in pain. "Kuroko, do you hear me? Look at my face, it's me. It's Kiyoshi." He rubbed Kuroko's back in steady circular pace. "Follow my breath, Kuroko. One, two, three, four..."

Finally Kuroko calmed down. He lied limply on Kiyoshi's lap with head rested on the brunette's chest. He was exhausted and haziness gradually took his vision away. With unfocused gaze, Kuroko caught Akashi's figure from the corner of his eyes. He tried to lift his hand to reach out but it was too heavy. A bigger hand took his and placed it on another warm yet sweaty palm. The teal-head moved his head slightly.

Kuroko smiled weakly as he noticed that Akashi was holding his hand. "...wanted to...see you...," he whispered then closed his eyes.

Kiyoshi was relieved. Kuroko's breathing was even. The brunette turned his attention to Akashi who was sitting on the wooden floor with Kuroko's hand on his. He looked very confused and shocked but in the end he managed to say, "I missed you..."

They stayed on their position for a while. Kiyoshi hugged Kuroko protectively and Akashi held his hand tighter. Both men did not say anything until Takao decided to make an appearance. Actually he had been sitting on porch outside the living room all the time. He voluntary brought Kuroko to bed, muttering something about Akashi's stupidity under his breath.

"What happened to him?" Akashi asked when the two were alone. He tried not to lose his composure even though his hands were trembling slightly. He could still feel the warmth of Kuroko's palm. "Tell me, Kiyoshi-san. What did I miss these past twelve years?"

And he had a feeling the truth would be very ugly.

.

.

tbc
*another cliffhanger, I know... (hides behind a wall) and thank you for the reviews :)