Her Heart's Winter Thaw
By Dragonessclaw
Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.
Note: Personal thoughts in italic
Chapter 10 Kagome the Scar
The two of them sat in silence for a while. Kagome keeping her head down so that her eyes were hidden by her bangs while Sesshomaru sat there feeling like a heel. Even though she was crying silently he of course could smell the salt as well as feel the deep sorrow coming off of her aura in waves.
What was he going to do now? His beast was snarling and growling obscenities at his insensitivity and the need to comfort her was overwhelming. Reaching over Sesshomaru placed his hand on top of Kagome's in what he hoped she would see as a comforting gesture.
"Kagome, I apologize. It had not been my intention to cause you any more pain," Sesshomaru said in a deep voice.
At the sudden contact Kagome's eyes widened as she looked up into Sesshomaru's face. Kagome couldn't be sure but just for a moment she was sure she saw something in Sesshomaru's eyes made her breath quicken.
As she looked up at him with her blurry tear stained eyes Sesshomaru reached up and wiped a tear away with a very sharp manicured claw. Looking into his eyes Kagome felt like she had just been swallowed up as his eyes took on a more open rounded shape and his beautiful well trained hair started to look a little fuzzy.
The tears now falling tenfold Kagome suddenly moved her hands away as she started to hastily get up.
"I..I'm sorry Sesshomaru-sama I really must go, I have not been home in far too long," Kagome stammered out as she tried to make a hasty retreat.
Closing his eyes as he tried to calm the rage inside him Sesshomaru spoke gently, "You are upset. Perhaps you should retire to one of the chambers at least until you are more ready for travel."
"Oh, don't worry about this," Kagome laughed nervously as she gestured towards her face. "I have just been an emotional mess lately. I am sorry to worry you but I am fine. The walk will do me good."
Watching as she steadily backed away from him and made her retreat Sesshomaru resisted the urge to howl. Once he was sure Kagome was well out of range Sesshomaru let his mask drop as he headed the opposite direction leaving a trail of steaming bubbling grass in his wake.
Using his incredible speed Sesshomaru finally stopped when he reached the hidden caves he used to hunt in as a young cub by the ocean. With no one to witness his great rage Sesshomaru let out a howl that was as full of anguish as it was displeasure letting all wildlife know to stay away.
Losing himself in the many emotions that were overwhelming him Sesshomaru snarled and cursed in his native Inu language as he used his claws to break trees and reshape rock. He knew he shouldn't have moved so fast.
Why did he ask Kagome what had happened? Things had been going so well and now not only had he scared her away but he had done the one thing he had promised himself not to do. Sesshomaru had upset her and made her shed tears.
Kagome had already gone through so much she didn't deserve to have to be put through more. Sesshomaru was torn, he knew Kagome would never heal until she faced her demons but he had no wish to cause her any more pain than necessary.
As Kagome blindly ran through the corridors in her attempt at a quick escape she unknowingly bumped into someone.
Looking up Kagome saw her newfound friend Leila. Leila instantly sensing Kagome's started to detour the shaken miko into her rooms as she asked, "Kagome why are you so upset? What has happened?"
Holding onto her hands Leila sat down forcing Kagome to sit along with her.
Kagome feeling a little ashamed at being seen in such a state shook her head as she tried to shield her eyes with her bangs.
"It's nothing, really there is no need for you to worry. I was just talking and ended up opening some old wounds that were best left sealed. I need to learn to just shut those unpleasant memories out and just move on with my life, but it's easier said than done," Kagome said sadly.
Giving her a knowing look Leila answered, "Forgive me for saying this but maybe that is just what you need. You only have to have the courage to do it."
"What," Kagome asked incredulously. She might be nice and all but Leila had no idea just how much Kagome had been dealing with. If she didn't have courage she wouldn't be here now would she.
Sensing Kagome's anger Leila did not speak for a moment as she pondered how to get her point to be understood. Offending Kagome was the last thing on her mind; she merely did not want her to try to keep smoothing over wounds that were obviously not ready yet. Nodding her head as an idea hit her she began again.
"Kagome do you see this scar?" Leila asked as she lifted her Kimono to reveal her heavily scarred calf.
Eyes widening in concern Kagome said, "Oh my god what happened."
Shaking her head at her new friend, Leila pushed Kagome's hands away. Smiling Leila regarded Kagome for a moment longer, only one as loving as Kagome would push her own worries aside so easily for the sake of another.
"I am not in pain now please listen Kagome," Leila said trying to put her at ease. "You Kagome are like these scars."
At her declaration Kagome could do nothing but stare her mind completely uncomprehending. What? What in the world is she talking about? Wait! Did she just compare me to a bunch of horrible scars?
Kagome was trying to decide if she should take offense when Leila continued.
"I got these in the siege on my father's castle. I was very young, no older than maybe your pup when you first found him. The cougar demon clan had been waiting for my father to leave on his journey to the far ends of our land to help negotiate a truce between to lesser clans.
Knowing he would be heavily guarded since my mother was to accompany him they stayed low biding their time. You see my mother was pupped but it was customary for the two to appear at such things together as a sign of strength. "
"Such unrest could not be brought to the castle and since she was in her early stages they deemed it an acceptable risk. Looking back now of course I realize that the cougars were probably the ones that stirred everything up to the point where something had to be done immediately to get them out of the castle; however that is neither here nor there.
The main thing is that with the majority of his troops with him to protect his queen the castle was left pretty much defenseless. Those soldiers that were left were no match for the sheer numbers and brute strength of the cougar demons. I managed to escape and hide in an underground safe room but not without first being attacked.
As I was crawling into the little door built for me one of them grabbed my leg and tried to pull me out. I managed to hold on to a little handhold in the stone but my leg was almost completely severed and fractured in some places.
By the time my father came for me there was a huge battle in which my mother and the pup lost their lives. Between the battle, my mother being buried and the annihilation of the cougar clan much time had passed and my wounds had healed.
The problem was my leg was not been set and cleaned so it had not healed properly. Once everything was said and done and my father realized the problem it was too late and the only thing to do was to re-break the leg and let it heal properly."
Looking up at Kagome's watery eyes Leila gently smiled as she took both of Kagome's hands into her own once again.
"Don't you see Kagome? I had to go through the pain of the cleaning and re-breaking in order to heal properly and so do you."
Leila got up and went behind the shoji screen in the far corner. When she returned she had a cup of warm tea in her hand that she offered to Kagome.
Taking the cup Kagome automatically started to sip the warm liquid as she thought over all that Leila had said to her. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Leila once again started to speak. "Kagome please at least think of what I have said to you.
Kagome looked at the cup in her hands trying to figure out how it got so heavy when it suddenly tumbled from her grasp only to be caught by Leila. Shaking her head to clear her mind of the fuzziness that had so suddenly taken hold Kagome looked accusingly at Leila.
"Did you spike my drink?"
Leila didn't understand the word spike but understood what it was Kagome was trying to ask and nodded her head slightly.
With a mischievous smile she answered, "Just a little bit," as she put the cup down to grab a hold of a very sluggish Kagome.
The last thing Kagome heard before the darkness claimed her was the voice of her soon to be purified to a pile of ashes friend telling her not to fight it. The voce kept telling Kagome to just relax and rest that she would be safe and feel much better in the morning. Kagome tried to counter with a smart comment but nothing came out other than a half snort.
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Tell me what you think guys. I hope you all liked it. Until next time.